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CHAP. V.
O What shall I do, that I may for ever repose and ac∣quiesce in thee? What shall I do, to have my soul wholly-possest with, and inebriated by, thee, so to enjoy an eternall oblivion of all past evills, and the perpetuall embraces of thee (my only Good)? And, in this so much, on both sides, longed-for union, what good art thou to me? (let thy mercies indulge me to speak unto thee:) Or, what good am I to thee? That thou exactest of me, that I should love thee; and, if I do it not, art highly displeased, and threatnest to bring on me the greatest misery; (is this then so small a misery, for me not to love thee?) Ah! By thy mercies tell me (O Lord my God) what is that great thing that thou art unto me? Say unto my soul I am thy salvation. But say it so, as it may hear thee say it. Behold the ears of my heart are before thee, open them; and say unto my soul, there, I am thy salvation. Then will I hasten after thy alluring voice, and catch fast hold on thee. O hide not thou thy face from me. Let me see it though I dye; lest otherwise I dye so, as never to see it.
The Mansion of my soul is too narrow: to entertain thee, O let it be enlarged by thee. 'Tis very ruinous, be thou pleased to repair it. The sordid furniture there∣of must be very offensive to thy holy eyes, (I know and confess it;) but who can purge and cleanse it, besides thee? or to what other (besides thee) shall I cry? Cleanse me, O Lord, from my secret sins, and from my presump∣tuous wickednesses deliver thy Servant. I believe thou hast and wilt forgive them, and therefore do I speak and confess them; O Lord, thou knowest. Have not I Confessed against me my sins unto thee O my God: I hope thou hast forgiven the wickedness of my sin? I do not contend in judgment with thee, for thou art the truth: nor will I be deceived in hearkning to excuses, whilst, perhaps, mine iniquity tells lyes unto me. Therefore do I not contend in judgment with thee; For, if thou Lord shouldest marke iniquities, O Lord who shall a∣bide it.