Essays of love and marriage being letters written by two gentlemen, one dissuading from love, the other an answer thereunto : with some characters and other passages of wit.

III.

IT is said concerning Diogenes, that he enjoyned his friends, that should be concerned about the manner of his interment, to bury him in a prone posture, that when the world should be turned upside down, he might remain in a more decent and the usual situation, with his face upwards. One would think that this conversion is either now adays approaching, or has lately suffered it, if we consider how much we are overgrown with a new Generation of men, (the Wits of the Age) who by their ge∣stures and humours not only de∣sign to oppose and deride the pri∣mitive manners and well digested Principles of their Ancestors; but

have of late planted their squirting and airy Wits to bedash the sacred state of Wedlock, that if possible they might unpeople the world, and usher in its expiration with their own decease, as if conscious to themselves of the vitiousness of those principles they have imbibed and the public miscarriages they are guilty of, endeavour to obstruct a surviving posterity, that would pity their ignorance and explode their examples.

It is now the Opinion of those who pretend to understand most, that the world has been fool'd in nothing more than in an idle and tame submitting to the Fetters of Marriage; that some one unknown to them did most injuriously in∣slave so many Generations with this dull institution, which did upon that account lose the freedom

and vigour of generous actions, and miscarried in those Essays that would have shewn a greater Bra∣very and Glory of mind, but when we shall find that the world has not received greater Benefits by the Idolaters of Liberty, than from the Votaries of Wedlock, we shall be able to return so criminable a charge.

The highest wisdom took the prospect of all the species, and esta∣blished what was the benefit and good of all, and not what might please the humour of some, who starting up in particular generati∣ons, and making a noise amongst those whom they lived, could yet with no justice reproach the pru∣dence that governed their fathers; with which they are displeased through the capriciousness of their own folly, and not the defect of

precept, which like Beds and Couches are not to be accused, be∣cause they are uneasie to the sick and distempered. This institution like power ows its glory to the re∣spect is paid it, whilst every thing that is neglected, is by that scorn rendred cheap and contemptible: and any disesteem Marriage lies under, is not from the inconveni∣ences are found in it, but only ari∣seth from the incivility of those times that forbear to respect it. If persons would study to do it justice, we should find it again with the same Votaries about it; and not like dethron'd Monarchs without its state and unattended. Marriage laid the foundation and first principle of civil society, it was a yoak for which the neck of In∣nocence was not too soft and deli∣cate, and a condition governed by

unerring virtue had yet need of these Allotments, as to the advan∣tages and improvements of society, and that which Marriage appropri∣ated was the first proclaming of Mine and Thine The earth was common, and the enjoyments of it had an undistinguish'd right, whilst the concernments of the bed were sacred and separate; in all things else, we can allow a sharer but in the Interests of our Love. To oblige Mankind by an obliga∣tion sacred and unaltered to the affairs and interests of one Love, was an act of that prudence and wisdom against which none can dispute. We can with no equity raise a title to more, since the Law of Nature proclames that loving of one should be for enough, and that sex must have been left in a con∣dition wholly base and mercenary,

to have took the pay of every A∣mour. There would have been set up a Tyranny in Love, which must have been the most cruel and in∣supportable of others, because ex∣ercis'd on the best interests of life. The force of conquest had been a sufficient title to the objects we had coveted: But Marriage puts the world into Discipline and a happy Government, inclosing the com∣mon injoyment that none might lay claim to the portion of another. Had beauty and the possession of that Sex been left a prey to the Conqueror, and subject to be born away by the most forcible Court∣ships: Mankind must have ever dwelt jealous of each other, pro∣claming an enmity against all the world, and have judged their pow∣er alone a sufficient defence; But by the force of Matrimonial Laws

and the Allotments made us from above, we live in quiet and securi∣ty with each other, who must else have stood perpetually on our guard, and secured what we had loved from the wandring lusts of others. The world must have been perpetually involved in quarrels, since Love is more restless and more impatient than Ambition, and whilst a charming object had many claimers, she must at last have yielded to the conqueror, and not have gratified the Passion of the most deserving, but the most happy, being without the exercise of that Empire which Halcyon laws had gave her, that must have been wholly lost amidst the animo∣sities of Rivals. But since Love is preserved in these bounds, its ex∣cellencies and advantages remain to the world, its childish and

troublesom qualities are cut off by Laws, its made tame and gentle, which would else have devoured the fairest concernments of the Universe, since the Love it cuts off and regulates, it could not have born, and the Love it manages it cannot spare.

But why this condition is deem∣ed so contemptible, and dreaded by the Libertines of our times, is by reason of that severe censure they harbour of it, to be as full of Plagues as Pandora's Box, no soon∣er shall we admit of it, but pre∣sently find our selves to be fettered with cares and perplexities; and therefore celebrate a single life for its freedom and repose. But let me ask them, who found in a mor∣tal state that tranquillity they have pretended to admire; what condi∣tion of Life is there that is always

serene, quiet and undisturb'd? and although cares may attend that e∣state more than other conditions; yet those Advantages and Blessings, those sweet societies which pro∣ceed from it, are able to sweeten its crosses, ease its burdens, and retrieve whatever is deemed tedi∣ous. And although they can shew us the life of some rude and melan∣choly Philosopher, who in his re∣tirements lockt up from the world, and Vatia-like lies buried in a drea∣ming Idleness, boasteth of quiet and repose. We can shew them many examples of virtuous men, living not only contentedly, but admired in the eyes of Matrimony, spreading their useful qualities as well as issues, whilst the Stoic has permitted his virtue to droop and wither in the shade of his own humor. An excellent person may

do much for the world with his own sufficiency, but he doubly ob∣liges it, who in a Seminary of He∣ro's is continually propitious to it, and by the force of embraces causes lives to those Generations which stand next the worlds last calenture and burning fit. Pompey did not only fight himself for the Liberty of Rome, till he was its greatest and mightiest sacrifice, but left also those gallant sons who bravely en∣deavoured to revive it when faint and dying. We shine with a soli∣tary virtue without the irradiations of an Off-spring, and beside it lo∣seth its lustre and strength, when it is obliged to wander in various enterteinments. How had the world suffered, if a person who by many generous actions became the dar∣ling of Mankind, neglecting to transinit a copy from so beloved

and glorious an Original, had set at once in his being and his race. In antient wars infants have been carried to encourage battels, there∣by with their unactive bloud strangely animating the veins of others, and it hath moreover been found to work much upon the dis∣position of human nature, a kind of gallant affection for the memo∣ry of some glorious person left to the guidance of a tender hand. Such efforts served the race of the African and the Gothic Hero, pro∣curing to the world this belief and benefit together, that he which leaves his virtue an orphan, may have erected for it the Hospitals of stately tombs and the Panegyrics of history; but he that would have it lasting and useful, as well as ad∣mired, must leave it to his Issue, where in the active torrent of ge∣nerous

performances, it may accu∣mulate the same glory and esteem it found in the days of an ancestor. To be only admired is a barren ad∣vantage; to be useful and to be be∣loved, is what the truly noble ra∣ther covet, which is found in the virtues and good offices of our race. Neither shall we find any men of a more noble gallantry as amongst those duo fulmina belli, I mean Pompey and Brutus, men not only religiously prizing the married state, but such as were blessed with the society of those women, that for the returns of love and kindness were famous in every generation. We chuse friendship as a field for virtue to reap advantages in; and none but retired and treacherous natures will be without the bles∣sings of that. But without all que∣stion that friendship is the noblest

bound in the surest Ligaments that is commenced in Marriage, than any took up on other scores. No nation could have flourished nor have been successful in its affairs, if a wanton flame had consum'd the manly temper and vigour of youth, or if their Passions had not trans∣ported them to such violent acti∣ons, yet the gentlest concernments of those flames, incensing the ani∣mosities and jealousies of rivalship, the prodigality of amorous addres∣ses, had dislodged all Braveries of mind, and baffled all those advan∣tages with which they should have served their Generations. And therefore all wise and prudent Go∣vernments knew they should have but little order and less of industry, where the affairs of an idle passion possessed the hearts and heads of their Subjects. Marriage gives the

thoughts a home, and hereby be∣times the inconstant and flitting fansie is directed to an aim, and kept stedfast by a peculiar authori∣ty, that would else be captivated by the wandring lusts of stews and concubines: And who does not (that is bias'd by reason) take more pleasure in managing the interests of a family, and a lasting name by an happy issue, than in cherishing a short-liv'd inclination? The want of a just interest to manage has brought in those Inconveniences that are found in the world; and that pleasantness and gayness, which is childishly called, good humor, so much idolized in the single life, what is it but a trifling and strange impertinence, a thing without all conduct and prudence; and after the follies of youth are over, even insupportable to those

who have the most admired it. What Judgment can we pass on this, any otherwise than that they lavishly spend the prudent stock of nature, which becoming bankrupt by excessive practices, they are after forced to yield to those humors, which speak the wants and pover∣ties of nature, which designed no man to that vanity, as to be taken up with the contemplation of his own endowments, like the fanta∣stic Youth, who made Love to, and died for it himself. He that gathers the stock of his own en∣dowments, into his own breast and keeps them there like roses that grow in deserts, he dies uncom∣mended and unenjoy'd. Virtue is diffusive and loves occasions to exercise its vivacy and vigor, what we carry about us sufficiently de∣clares, that we were not designed

to be happy alone, whilst both the solace of the mind, and an endear∣ed life consist in an union with something different.