The life of a satyrical pvppy, called Nim who worrieth all those satyrists he knowes, and barkes at the rest / by T.M.

CHAP. XI.

NIM takes occasion to present thy accep∣tance with a Character of a Whore: and hath graced his expression, by the re∣lation of Bung's most witty revenge.

IN our way of relating Bung's revenge, I hold it requiste to passe through Turnbal-Street: and there admire (Custom) which is to be ignorant in Folly: Not like a handsome Novice: who walks by with his Eies fastned on his Back; prying carelesly who looks upon him? who beckens him in? if no body sup∣plies that expectation, then he begins to hate his own Face, to discommend what before he prais'd, as purposing to sell, like the poor Stallion, his masculine beauty. No Reader; I intend to pick out from the whole rable a Whore: and prefer her in a Character to thy immaginary view. If thou affect my descrip∣tion, thou wilt loath her: such a strange Anti∣pathie bears it with its own sense, having (in∣deed) chosen a Subject that infects wit. Sup∣pose where she stands in a Red-Wastcot, that

is more out of fashion then her Face, which was made fifty years before it. No doubt she hath worn a Gown too: but that was when the sale of her Beauty could return the cost of it into the Bawds Purse. Talk with her, and she will bring thee into an ignorant Jea∣lousie, or a Jealous suspence; who was thy Father? For she slanders all Women, to make her self appear lesse common in compa∣rison: and usually in such ambiguous phrase, which effeminish policy affords: as thus. It may be she is, it may be she is not: but alas, alas, I know what I know, i faith, yet will accuse no body.

She is afraid to go to Church, least the Sermon might convert her: and hates the Story of a decayed Whore, because she affects not melancholly. Her Breath is strong enough to overcome thy sense of smelling, and hath already scorch'd up her Nose: which to ob∣scure, she wears before it a green Curtain. Being naked, she seems an intire Scabbe; a great proportionable Boyle: and her Clothes be∣ing on her, look like plaisters, yet this is she who heretofore did mince a stolne pace as if she scorn'd Motion: whom Pride did become as a full Oath doth a desperate Gallant: that fichew'd with a degenerate posture of the Chinne: tripp'd on her agill Toes like a Kibe∣heel'd-Fairie: that shreek'd at the drawing of

a Knife: swoonded at the sight of fat Meat: that affected singularity in gracefull Oathes, clipp'd the Kings English: and seemed igno∣rant how rightly to call that, which wantonly she nicknam'd. Ogiddy-Headed Time! that dost so delight in alteration: that hast chang∣ed the shape of a glorious, handsome Curte∣zan, into the substance of a Fulsome, nasty, stinking Whore.

But now let our relation pursue Bunge: who within an Hour after he was beaten, return'd unto the VVard's Lodging: finding him at his arrivall tickled with a mad Laughter: whilst he carried himself as alto∣gether unsensible of any beating, and de∣mands what motiv'd that mirth. The VVard mistaking the dissimulation, changed his Hu∣mour into a sadder: asking whether he had delivered the Letter to his Mistresse? no (quoth Bung) she was gone forth to Supper, in the company of a certain Sweet-Heart: but I left it with the Bawde: who told me she was to meet them at Eight of the Clock in Old Exchange, and then she would deliver it. The VVard suppos'd all this was true: but griev'd that the Verses were so insuccessive∣ly left in Peel's Lodging: yet in expectation of some accidentall merriment, he comman∣ded him to meet him likewise in the Ex∣change

at the appointed Hour. Bung (pro∣mising to accomplish his desires) tooke his leave, and went to a Taverne, whose back∣Dore enters into Turnball-Street: where he wrote a Note to Peele, and sent it by a Drawer; accompanied with a Gallon of Sack. The Contents of which, desired his Friendship, and that by the Vertue of the Wine, he might be licensed presently to speak with him, where they would advise in composing of a Plot, how to be revenged up∣on the VVard.

Peel having received the Letter, and the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 present, return'd him word, he was sorrie for what was past, and greatly desir'd that he would presently come thi∣ther, to receive part of the Wine, and part of satisfaction. Bung was glad his Plot did thrive so well, went thither; and having made Peele promise that he would be in the Exchange about Eight of the Clock (to beat the VVard) he runnes to the Poultry-Coun∣ter: where he did Fee a brace of Serjeants to attend Peel in Cheap▪ Side, that as he came back from the Exchange, they might arest him upon an Action of Battery.

The Hour of meeting was now at hand, and Bung arrived there first. But present∣ly after him, marched in the VVard, ac∣companied

onely with the Gentleman, (of whom we have spoken heretofore) who came thither purposely to see the new married couple. Our revengefull-Polititi∣an perceiv'd now a grosse oversight, in the first contrivement of this geere. For whocan suppose the VVard would come thither a∣lone? or that having another Gentleman with him, he was not able to restore more Blowes, then Peel could give. Therefore their Backs being turn'd, Bung steales out of the next Gate, and runnes almost as farre as Paules in search of a Porter. At last hee hired one to flie to the Exchange, and entreat the Gentleman (relating to him his name, and fashion of Apparell) to come present∣ly to the Queene's-Armes by Holborn-Bridge: for there (quoth he) you must say his Bro∣ther is arriv'd very sick. The Porter delive∣red his errand effectually▪ and the Gentle∣man (without inquiring who sent that mess∣age) did take a hasty Farewell of the VVard. Bung returnes thither again, and finding him walking alone, went to him. By and by in comes Peel, and suddenly spyed that Face, which his Fist did intend to batter: not doubting but Bung (according as he had promised) would assist him in the assault.

The first Blow that he bestowed upon the

VVard, did so stagger him, that for the pre∣sent he was unable to resist. But Bung (ta∣king a Key out of his Pocket) rewarded Peeles Pate with a prodigall recompence: and in the mean time the VVard recovered strength enough, to be his own Avenger. Peele felt himself betray'd to the mercy of two mercilesse Men: but stood yet stiffe to his tackling, being most pittifully maul'd with Bung's Key: who did not forget (nei∣ther) to lend some Seaven or Eight blowes with it, unto the VVards face: the which he delivered so cunningly, that the VVard thought they came from Peel; and cry'd out murder! swearing how Peele fought with a Smith's Hammer. He replies again (with a lowd voice) that it is nothing but a trick to excuse his own treacherie: for I my self (quoth he) have received Thirteen blowes, able to kill an Oxe. The people now came thronging on to part the Combatants. Peel being loath to be brought in publique ex∣amination, stole secretly away. The VVards Beaver Hat (bordered with Pearle, and adorn'd with a rich Hatband) lay upon the Ground: which Bunge (feeling with his Foot, and favour'd by the dark time of Night) convey'd into his Codpisse. The owner inquires diligently for it, and Bung

seemes more diligent in the recovery: having borrowed a Light of one that stood by him purposely to seek it, or rather to darken the appearance of his own hypocritical Theft, at last proclaims it to be lost. Thus whilst controversies are here decided by a busie multitude, the poor Drummer (walking homewards) was arrested, and carried to the Countor. A while after the Ward, and Bung were licensed to go home to their Lodgings: for the Constable (whom this hurly-burly drew thither) was contented (since the Offensive party could not be found) to commit a wonder, by standing to reason. And our Ward in complementall gratulation, went home bare-headed.

The next Morning Bang's appearance was summon'd to answer that arrest which was serv'd on Peele. He prepares himself to prove it warrantable, but thirsting for a more full revenge, he entrears an old Friend (who was a meer stranger in London) to enter an Action of Debt against him (in some un∣known name) for Twelve Hundred pounds; which the Knave perform'd, and within an Hour after, departed from the City. Peel was clear'd of the first Action by asking Bung forgivenesse: who bought that honour with Four Shillings bestow'd upon a Justices

Clerk. The second kept ▪him in the Counter Five daies: untill at last (having no Adver∣sarie to declare against him in the Court) he got his liberty: though he had payed soundly for being a Prisoner. What became of him and his Wife afterwards, I know not. But the Wards Face did almost enrich a Surgeon: for Bung's Key had batter'd it into such an ugly form, that it seem'd ever after a Bugg-bear to his own affection.