A knights coniuring Done in earnest: discouered in iest. By Thomas Dekker.

CHAP. VIII.

••ells Sculler and the Pursiuant of Heauen, Cast mery reckonings vp, but growe not euen Tilla Plague ••alls: Soldiers set out a throate For Char••n: Eps comes mangled to his boate.

AT the Banck ende, when Plutoes pursiuāt came to take water, Mer∣curie, (that runs of all the errands betweene the Gods) hauing bin of a message from Ceres, to her daughter Proserpine, (the Queen of lower Affrica, finding Charon idle in his boat, be∣cause (as if it had bene out of Terme time) no Fares was stirring, fel to cast vp old reckonings, between himselfe, & the weatherbeaten Sculler, for certain tryfling money, layd out about Charons businesse. So that the Knight slipping in like a Constable to part a Fray, was requested to be as Arbitator.

The first Item that stood in his Bill, was, For nayles to mend your Wherrie, when twoo Dutchmen comming drunck from the Renishwine-house, split three of the boards with their club fi••ts, thinking they had cal'd for a reckoning. iiij. pence.

Those Butter-boxes (sayes Charon) owe me a peny vpon the foote of that account: For I could distill out of them but onely three poore drops of siluer for the voyage, & all my losse at Sea. Whats next?

Item, laid out for pitch to trim your boat about the middle of the last plague, because she might go

light & vare, and do her labour cleanly, xj. pence.

I am ouer-reckoned that odde penny, (quoth Charon, and Ile neuer yeeld to pay it, but vi & ar∣mis, that's to say, by lawe. I disburst it (by my Ca∣ducens sayes the Herald) nay sayes Charon, if thou wilt defile thy conscience with a penny-worth of pitch, touch ••••••ill: on.

Itē, for glew & whipcord, to mēd your brokēoar, iij. d.

That's reasonable; yet I haue caryed some in my Wherie that haue had more whip-cord giuen them for nothing•• on.

Item laid out for Iuniper to persume the boate, when certain Frenchmē were to go by water: j. ob. I, a pox on them, who got by that? on.

Item lent to a company of Countrey-players, be∣ing nine in number, one sharer, & the rest Iourneymen, that with strowling were brought to deaths door, xiij. d. ob. vpon their stocke of apparell, to pay for boat hyre, because they would trye if they might be suffered to play in the Diuels name, which stock afterwardes came into your clawes, and you dealt vpon it: xiij. ob.

They had his hand to a warrant (quoth Charon) but their ragges serued to make me Swabbers, be∣cause they neuer fetcht it againe, so that belike hee proued a god Lord and master to them, and they made new Pergementiri. Tickle the next Minkin.

Item, when a Cobler of Poetrie, called a Playe pat∣cher, was condemned with his Catte to be duckt three times in the cucking-stoole of Pyriphlegeton, (beeing one of the scalding Riuers,) till they both

dropt again, because he scolded against his betters, and those whom hee liued vppon, laid out at that time for straw, to haue caried pusse away if she had kittend, to auoyd anie catterwalling in Hell. j. pennie.

Mew, they were not both wroth a pennie: on.

Item, for needle and threed to ••arne vp aboue two and fiftie holes in your sailes, and to a Bot∣cher for halfe a dayes worke about it: vij. pence.

That botcher I preferd to be Lucifers Tailer, be∣cause he workes with a hot needle and burnt threede, and that seuen pence he gaue me for my good will, why should not I take bribes as well as others, I will clip that money, and melt it. Not for my Bill (sayes the Herald of the gods) for it went out of my purse, the Tayler may pay it▪ backe a∣gaine, it is but stealing so much the more, or cut∣ting out 5. quarters to a garment, nay, Mercurie, you shall filch for vs both, for all the gods know you are a notable Pick-pocket, as the knight of the Post here can take his oath, but what is your Sum∣ma totalis, (quoth Charon) Summa totalis, answeres the other comes to three shillings and a pennie. The Scullèr told him, hee was now out of Cash, it was a hard time, he doubts there is some secrete Bridge made ouer to Hell, and that they steale thither in Coaches, for euery Iustic••s wife, and the wife of euery Cittizen must bee iolted now.

But howsoeuer the market goes, beare with me, (quoth Charon) till there come another plague, or

till you heare of such another battaile as was at Newport, or till the Dunkirks catch a Hoy of Hol∣landers, and tumble them ouer-boord, or til there be more ciuill Wars in France, or if Pa••ris garden would but fall downe againe, I should not onely wipe off this olde score, but hope to make mee a new boat. Mercury seeing no remedy (tho he knew well enough he was not without mony) tooke his wings, and away went he to Olympus. The Postes iorney lay nothing neere that path, but inquiring whether one Pier•••• Penni••esse came not ouer in his Fer••y: and vnderstanding, because hee could not pay his Fare, he was faine to goe a great way about to Elizium, thither in an Irish gallop is our swea∣ring knight gone.

Scarce was hee out of kenne, but on the other side of the Riuer stoode a companie crying out lustily, A Boat, hey, a Boat, hey, and who should they be but a gallant troope of English spirits (all mangled) looking like so many old Romans, that for ouercomming death in their manly resoluti∣ons, were sent away out of the field, crowned with the military honour of Armes. The foremost of them was a personage of so composed a presence, that Nature and Fortune had done him wrong, if ••hey had not made him a souldier. In his counte∣nance, there was a kinde of indignation, fighting with a kind of exalted ioy, which by his very ge∣sture were apparantly descipherable, for he was io∣cond, that his soule went out of him in so glorious a triūph; but disdainfully angry, that she wrought

her enargement through no more daungers: yet were there bleeding witnesses inow on his breast, which testified, he did not yeelde till he was con∣quered, and was not conqu••red, till there was left nothing of a man in him to be ouercome. For be∣sides ••hose Mortui & Muti testes, which spake most for him, when he himselfe was past speaking, (thogh their mouthes were stopped with scarres) he made shift to lay downe an ouer-plus of life, (when the debt was discharged at one mortall payment before) onely to shew in what abiect account he held deathes tyranny. Charon glow∣ring vpon him, demanded who he was, but hee skorning to be his owne Chronicle, and not suf∣fering any of the rest to execute the office, they al leaped into the Ferry. Amongst whome, one that sate out of his hearing, but within the reach of the Waterman, (to shorten the way) discoursed all, thus:

England (quoth hee) gaue him breath, Kent education, he was neuer ••uer-maistered, but by his own affections: against whom, whensoeuer he got the victorie, there was a whole man in him: he was of the sword, and knewe better how to ende quarrels, then to beginne them; yet was more apt to begin, then other (better bearded) were to an∣swer, with which (some that were euer bound to the peace) vpbraided him as a blemish. His coun∣try barring him (for want of action) of that which he was borne to inherit, (same) he went in quest of it into the Low Countries, where (by his deare

earnings) hee bequeathed that to those of his name, with nothing, but his name seemed to de∣priue him of in England. Ost-end beeing be∣sieged, hee lost one of his eyes, whilst hee loo∣ked ouer the walles, which first storme did ra∣ther driue him on to more dangerous aduentures, though to the hazard euen of a shipwracke, (then like a fearefull Merchant) to runne his fortunes and reputation on ground, for the boysterous threatnings of euery idle billow. So this his reso∣lution set vpon his rest, to leaue all the remainer of his body to that Countrey, which had take from him one of the best iewells of his life, since it had a peece of him, he would not so dishonor the place, as to carry away the rest broken. Into the field therefore comes he, the sates putting both his eies into one, (of purpose) because he should looke vp∣on none but his enemies: where, a battaile being to be sought, the desert aduanced him to aduance the Colours; by which dignitie, he became one of the fairest markes, which was then to be shot at: and where a great part of that daies glory was to be wonne; for the Regent that followed his En∣signe, (by being hardly set to) giuing ground, and the enemies ambition, thirsting after his Colours, threw at all, in hope to winne them. But the de∣stinies (who fought on their side) mistooke them∣selues, and in steede of striking the Colours out of his hand, smote him: in so much, that hee was twice shot, & twice runne through the body, yet wold not surrender his hold for al those breaches,

but stripping the prize for which they stroue, off from the staffe that helde it vp, and wrapping his dying bodie in it, drewe out his weapon, with which before his Collours could bee called his winding sheete, he threwe himselfe into the thic∣kest of danger: where after he had slaine a horse∣man, and two other; most valiantlie, hee came off (halfe dead, halfe aliue,) brauely deliuering vp his spirit in the ar••es of none but his friendes and fellow souldiers.

So that (as if Fortune had beene iealous of her owne wauering,) death (at her intreatie) tooke him away, in the noone-tide of a happinesse; lest anie blacke euenings ouercasting should spoyle it with alteration. He was married to the honour of a fielde in the morning, and died in the Armes of it the same day, before it was spoyled of the mayden-head: so that it went away chaste and vnblemishable. To conclude, (Father Sculler) because I see wee are vppon landing, heere is as much as I can speake in his praise: he dyed Aun∣cient in the very middest of his youth.

Charon hum'de and and cryde well: and ha∣uing rid his boat of them, dyrected them to those happie places, which were alotted out to none but Martialists.

Notes

• Lucian in Dialog.
• William Eps his death.