Albumazar A comedy presented before the Kings Maiestie at Cambridge, the ninth of March. 1614. By the Gentlemen of Trinitie Colledge.

Act. 5.

Scoen. 1.

ALBVMAZAR. RONCA. FVRBO. HARPAX.

ALB.

HOw? not a single share of this great prize, That haue deseru'd the whole? was't not my plot, And paines, and you meere instruments and porters? Shall I haue nothing?

RON.

No, not a siluer spoone.

FVR.

Nor couer of a Trencher-salt.

HAR.

Nor Table-napkin▪

ALB.

Friends; we haue kept an honest trust and faith 'Long time amongst vs▪ Breake not that sacred league, By raising ciuill theft▪ turne not your furie 'Gainst your owne bowels. Rob your carefull Maister! Are you not asham'd?

RON.

'Tis our profession, As your's Astrologie. And in th'daies of old, Good morrow Theefe, as welcome was receiu'd, As now your Worship. 'Tis your owne instruction.

FVR.

The Spartans held it lawfull, and th'Arabians, So grew Arabia, Happy: Sparta, Valiant.

HAR.

The world's a Theater of Theft: great Riuers Rob smaller Brookes; and them the Ocean.

AL.

Haue not I wean'd you vp from peti-larceny, Dangerous and poore? and nurst you to full strength Of safe and gainefull theft? By rules of Art And principles of cheating, made you as free

From taking, as you went inuisible? And do yee thus requite mee? this the reward For all my watchfull care?

RO.

We are your schollers, Made by your helpe, and our owne aptnesse, able To instruct others. 'Tis the Trade wee liue by. You that are seruant to Diuine Astrologie, Do something worth her liuery. Cast Figures, Make Almanackes for all Meridians.

FVR.

Sell Perspicils, and Instruments of hearing, Turne Clownes to Gentlemen, Buzzards to Falcons, Cur-dogs to Grey-hounds, Kitchin-maids to Ladies.

HAR.

Discouer more new Stars, and vnknowne Planets: Vent them by dozens, stile them by the names Of men that buy such ware. Take lawfull courses, Rather then beg.

AL.

Not keep your honest promise?

FVR.

Beleeue none, credit none: for in this Citie No dwellers are, but Cheaters, and Cheateez.

AL.

You promist mee the greatest share.

RON.

Our promise! If honest men by Obligations, And instruments of Law, are hardly constrain'd T'obserue their word; Can wee, that make profession Of lawlesse courses, do't?

AL.

Amongst our selues. Faulcons that tyrannize o're weaker fowle, Hold peace with their owne feathers.

HA.

But when they counter Vpon one quarrey, breake that league as wee do.

AL.

At least restoreth'ten pound in gold I lent you.

RON.

'Twas lent in an ill Second, worser Third, And lucklesse Fourth: 'tis lost, Albumazar.

FVR.

Saturne was in Ascension. Mercury Was then Combust when you deliuered it. 'Twill neuer be restor'd.

RON.

Hali, Abenezra, Hiarcha, Brachman, Budda Babylonicus, And all the Chaldes and the Cabalists, Affirme that sad Aspect threat's losse of debts.

HAR.

Frame by your Azimut and Almicantarat, An engine like a Mace, whose qualitie Of strange retractiue vertue may recall

Desperate debts, and with that vndoe Sergeants.

ALB.

Was euer man thus baited by's owne whelps? Giue mee a slender portion for a stock To beginne Trade againe.

RON.

'Tis an ill course And full of feares. This treasure hath inrich't vs, And giuen vs meanes to purchase, and liue quiet Of th'fruite of dangers past. When I vs'd robbing, All blocks before me look't like Constables, And posts appear'd in shape of Gallowses. Therefore good Tutor take your pupils counsell: 'Tis better beg then steale: Liue in poore clothes, Then hang in Sattin.

AL.

Villaines, I'le be reueng'd, And reueale all the businesse to a Iustice.

RON.

Do, if thou long'st to see thy owne Anatomie.

AL.

This treachery perswade's mee to turne honest.

FVR.

Search your Natiuitie: see if the Fortunates And Luminaries bee in a good Aspect. And thank vs for thy life. Had wee done well, We had cut thy throat e're this.

AL.

Albumazar, Trust not these Rogues; hence and reuenge.

RON.

Fellowes away, nere's company. Let's hence.

Exeunt.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 2.

CRICCA. PANDOLFO.

CR.

NOw Cricca, mask thy countenance in ioy, Speak welcome language of good newes, and moue Thy Maister, whose desires are credulous, To beleeue what thou giu'st him. If thy designe Land at the Hauen 'tis bound for; then Lelio, Eugenio, and their Mistresses, are oblig'd By oath, t'assure a state of forty pounds Vpon thee for thy life.

PAN.

I long to know How my good Farmer speeds; how Trincalo Hath bene receiu'd by Lelio.

CR.

Where shall I find him? What wee most seeke, still flies vs; what's auoided, Followes, or meetes vs full. I am embost

With trotting all the streetes to finde Pandolfo, And blesse him with good newes.

PAN.

This haft of Cricca Abodes some good; doubtlesse my Trincalo, Receiued for Antonio, hath giuen me Flauia. Cricca?

CRI.

Neither in Pauls, at home, nor in th'Exchange? Nor where he vses to converse? hee's lost: And must be cried.

PAN.

Turne hither, Cricca: Cricca, See'st me not?

CRI.

Sir, the newes, and hast to tell it, Had almost blinded me. 'Tis so fortunate, I dare not powre it all at once vpon you, Least you should faint and swound away with ioy. Your transform'd Trincalo-

PAN.

What newes of him?

CR.

Entred as owner in Antonio's house-

PAN.

On.

CR.

Is acknowledg'd by his daughter Flauia, And Lelio, for their father.

PAN.

Quickly good Cricca!

CR.

And hath sent me in hast to bid you-

PAN.

What?

CR.

Come with your sonne Eugenio.-

PAN.

And then?

CR.

That he may be a witnesse of your marriage. But sir, I see no signes of so large gladnesse As I expected, and this newes deseru'd.

PAN.

'Tis here, 'tis here, within. All outward symtomes And characters of ioy, are poore expressions Of my great inward happinesse: my heart's full, And cannot vent the passions. Run Cricca, run, Run, as thou lou'st me, call Eugenio, And worke him to my purpose thou canst do it. Haste, call him instantly.

CR.

I flye sir.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 3.

PANDOLFO.

HOw shall I recompence this Astrologer? This great Albumazar? through whose learned hands, Fortune hath powr'd th'effect of my best wishes, And crown'd my hopes. Giue him this chaine? alas!

'Tis a poore thankes, short by a thousand linkes Of his large merit. No, he must liue with me, And my sweet Flauia, at his ease and pleasure, Wanting for nothing. And this very night I'le get a boy, and he erect a figure To calculate his fortunes. So there's Trincalo Antoniated, or Antonio Intrinculate.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 4.

ANTONIO. PANDOLFO. LELIO. EVGENIO.

AN.

SIgnior Pandolfo! welcome.

LE.

Your seruant sir.

PAN.

Well met Antonio, my praiers and wishes Haue waited on you euer.

AN.

Thanks, deerest friend. To speake my dangers past, were to discourse Of dead men at a feast. Such sad relations Become not marriages. Sir, I am here Return'd to doe you seruice: where's your sonne?

PAN.

Hee'l wait vpon you presently.

EV.

Signior Antonio! Happily welcome.

AN.

Thankes Eugenio. How thinke you gentlemen? were it amisse To call downe Flauia and Sulpitia, That what we do, may with a full consent Be entertain'd by all?

PAN.

'Tis well remembred. Eugenio, call your sister.

AN.

Lelio, call my daughter.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 5.

PANDOLFO. ANTONIO.

PA.

WIsely consider'd Trincalo: 'tis a faire prologue To th' Comoedy ensuing. Now I confesse Albumazar had equall power to change, And mend thy vnderstanding with thy body. Let me embrace and hugge thee for this seruice. 'Tis a braue on-set: ah my sweet Trincalo!

ANT.

How like you the beginning?

PAN.

'Tis o'th further side All expectation.

AN.

Was't not right? and spoken Like old Antonio?

PAN.

'Tis most admirable: Wer't he himselfe that spake, he could not better't. And for thy sake, I wish Antonio's shape May ever be thy house, and's wit thy Inne-mate. But wheres my plate, and cloath of siluer?

AN.

Safe.

PA.

They come: keep state, keep state, or al's discouer'd.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 6.

ANTO. PAND. EVG. LEL. FLA. SVLP.

AN.

EVgenio, Flauia, Lelio, and Sulpitia▪ Marriages once confirm'd, and consummate, Admit of no repentance. Therefore 'tis fitting All parties with full freedome speake their pleasure, Before it be too late.

PAN.

Good! excellent!

ANT.

Speake boldly therefore: do you willingly Giue full authoritie, that what I decree Touching these businesses, you'l all performe?

EVG.

I rest at your dispose: what you determine, With my best power I ratifie; and Sulpitia, I dare be bold to promise, sayes no lesse.

SVL.

What e're my father, brother, and your selfe Shall thinke conuenient pleaseth me.

LE.

In this, As in all other seruice, I commit my selfe To your commands; and so I hope, my sister.

FLA.

With all obedience: sir dispose of me As of a child, that iudgeth nothing good But what you shall approue.

AN.

And you Pandolfo?

PAN.

I most of all. And, for I know the mindes Of youth are apt to promise, and as prone To repent after; 'tis my advice they sweare T'obserue, without exception, your decree.

FLA.

Content.

SVL.

Content

PAN.

By all the powers that heare Oathes, and raine vengeance vpon broken faith,

I promise to confirme and ratifie Your sentence.

LE.

Sir, I sweare no lesse.

EV.

Nor I.

FLA.

The selfe-same oath binds me.

SVL.

And me the same.

PAN.

Now deare Antonio, all our expectation Hangs at your mouth: None of vs can appeale From you to higher Courts.

AN.

First for preparatiue, Or slight Praeludium to the greater matches; I must intreate you that my Armellina Be match't with Trincalo. Two hundred crownes I giue her for her portion.

PAN.

'Tis done. Some reliques Of his old Clownery, and dregges o'th Countrey, Dwell in him still: how carefull he prouides For himselfe first! Content. And more, I grant him A lease of twenty pounds a yeare.

ANT.

I thanke you. Gentlemen, since I feele my selfe much broken With age, and my late miseries, and too cold To entertaine new heate; I freely yeeld Sulpitia, whom I lou'd, to my sonne Lelio.

PAN.

How cunningly the Farmer hath provided T'obserue the semblance of Antonio's person, And keepe himselfe still free for Armellina!

AN.

Signior Pandolfo, y'are wise, and vnderstand How ill hot appetites of vnbridled youth Become gray haires. How graue and honourable Wer't for your age to be inamored With the faire shape of vertue, and the glory Of your fore-fathers! Then would you blush to thinke How by this dotage, and vnequall loue, You staine their honour, and your owne. Awake, Banish those wild affections; and by my example Turne t'your reposed selfe.

PAN.

To what purpose, pray yo Serues this long proaeme? on to th'sentence.

AN.

Sir, Conformitie of yeares, likenesse of manners, Are Gordian knots that bind vp matrimony. Now betwixt seuenty Winters, and sixteene, There's no proportion, nor least hope of loue. Fye, that a gentleman of your discretion,

Crown'd with such reputation in your youth, Should in your Westerne dayes, loose th'good opinion Of all your friends; and run to th'open danger Of closing the weake remnant of your dayes With discontentment vnrecouerable.

PAN.

Wrack me no more: pray you let's heare the sentence. Note how the Asse would fright me, and indeere His seruice; intimating, that his power May ouer-throw my hopes. Proceed to th'sentence.

AN.

These things consider'd, I bestow my daughter Vpon your sonne Eugenio; whose constant loue With his so modest carriage, hath deseru'd her. And, that you freeze not for a bed-fellow, I marry you with Patience.

PAN.

Trecherous villaine! Accursed Trincalo! Ile— But this no place, Hee's too well back't. But shortly when the date Of his Antonioship's expir'd, revenge Shall sweeten this disgrace.

AN.

Signior Pandolfo, When you recouer your selfe, lost desperately In disproportion'd dotage, then you'l thanke me For this great fauour: be not obstinate: Disquiet not your selfe.

PAN.

I thanke you sir.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 7.

PANDOLFO.

ANd that you freeze not for a bed-fellow, I marry you with Patience. Traiterous villaine! Is't not enough to wrong me, and betray me, But 't must be done with scoffes? accursed Trincalo! And me most miserable! that when I thought T'embrace yong Flauia, see her before my face Bestow'd vpon my sonne! my sonne my rivall! This is Eugenio's plot, and his friend Lelio's; Who, with my seruant Cricca, haue conspir'd, And suborn'd Trincalo to betray his master.

Why doe I rage 'gainst any but my selfe, That haue committed such a serious businesse To th'hands of a base clowne, and ignorant? I see mine error, but no meanes to helpe it. Onely the sweetnesse of reuenge is left me, Which I must execute: th'houres of's gentry Are now cleane spent. I'le home, and there attend him.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 8.

TRINCALO

drunke, but something recouered.

WElcome old trusty Trincalo, good Farmer welcome! giue me thy hand, wee must not part hereafter. Fye, what a trou∣ble 'tis to be out of a mans selfe! If gentlemen haue no pleasure but what I felt to day; a teame of horses shall not dragge me out of my profession. There's nothing amongst them but borrowing, com∣pounding for halfe their debts, and haue their purse cut for the rest, cosned by whores, frighted with husbands, wash't in wet hogges-heads, cheated of their clothes, and falling in cellars for conclusion.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 9.

PANDOLFO at the window. TRINCALO.

PAN.

O Pretious peece of villany! are you vnchang'd? How confident the rogue dares walke the streetes!

TRIN.

And then such quarrelling: neuer a sute I wore to day, but hath been soundly basted. Onely this faithfull Countrey case scap't fist-free; and bee it spoken in a good houre, was neuer beaten yet since it came from fulling!

PAN.

Tiff. toff. Base treacherous villaine! toff. toff. toff.

TRI.

Is this the recompence of my dayes worke?

PAN.

You marry me to patience? there's patience. And that you freeze not, there's warme patience, Shee's a good bed-fellow; haue patience.

TR.

You'l beat me out on't sir: how haue I wrong'd you?

PAN.

So, as deserues th'expression of my fury

With th'cruelst tortures I can execute.

TRI.

You kill me sir.

PAN.

Haue patience.

TRI.

Pray you sir!

PAN.

Seeke not by humble penitence t'appease me. Nothing can satisfie.

TR.

Fare-well humilitie. Now am I beaten sober.

(takes away Pandolfo's staffe)

Shall age and weaknesse master my youth and strength? Now speake your pleasure: what's my fault?

PAN.

Dar'st deny Thy owne act done before so many witnesses? Suborn'd by others, and betray my confidence With such a stony impudence?

TR.

I haue bin faithfull In all you trusted me.

PAN.

To them; not me. O what a Proaeme stuft with graue advice, And learned counsaile, you could showre vpon me Before the thunder of your deadly sentence! And giue away my Mistresse with a scoffe!

TR.

I giue your Mistresse?

PA.

Did'st not thou decree Contrary t'our compact, against my marriage?

TR.

Why when was I your iudge?

PA.

Iust now, here.

TR.

See your error! Then was I fast lock't in Antonio's Cellar: Where making vertue of necessitie, I drunke starke drunke; and waking, found my selfe Cloth'd in this Farmers sute, as in the morning.

PAN.

Did'st not thou sweare t'enter Antonio's house, And giue me Flauia for my wife? and after, Before my owne face, gau'st her to my sonne?

TR.

Ha, ha, ha!

PA.

Canst thou deny't?

TR.

Ha, ha, ha!

Whilst Trincalo laughes, and fals the staffe, Pan∣dolfo recouers it, and beates him.

Haue you got mistresse Patience? ha, ha, ha!

PAN.

Is not this true?

TR.

Ha, ha!

PA.

Answere me.

TRI.

Ha, ha, ha wan!

PAN.

Was't not thus?

TRI.

I answere. First, I neuer was transform'd, But gul'd, as you were, by th'Astrologer And those that cal'd m'Antonio. To proue this true, The gentleman you spoke with, was Antonio, The right Antonio, safely return'd from Barbarie.

PA.

Oi me! what's this?

TR.

Truth it selfe.

PA.

Was't not thou That gau'st the sentence?

TR.

Beleeue me no such matter: I nere was gentleman, nor otherwise

Then what I am, vnlesse 'twere when I was drunke.

PAN.

How haue I beene deceiu'd! good Trincalo Pardon mee. I haue wrong'd thee.

TR.

Pardon you? When you haue beaten mee to paste, good Trincalo Pardon mee?

PAN.

I am sorry for't; excuse mee.

TRI.

I am sory I must excuse you. But I pardon you.

PAN.

Now tell mee where's the plate and cloath of siluer, The gold and iewels that th'Astrologer Committed to thy keeping?

TRI.

What Plate, what iewels? Hee gaue mee none. But when he went to change mee, After a thousand circles and ceremonies, Hee bindes mee fast vpon a forme, and blindes mee With a thick Table-napkin. Not long after Vnbinds my head and feete, and giues mee light: And then I plainely saw, that I saw nothing; The Parler was cleane swep't of all was in't.

PAN.

Ojh me? ojh me!

TR.

What ailes you? Sir, what ailes you?

PAN.

I am vndone, I haue lost my Loue, my plate, My whole estate, and with the rest my selfe.

TR.

Loose not your patience too. Leaue this lamenting, And lay the Towne; you may recouer it.

PAN.

'Tis to small purpose. In, and hold thy peace.

ACT. 5. SCEN. 10.

CRICCA. PANDOLFO.

CRI.

WHere shall I find my Maister to content him With welcome newes? Hee's here; newes! newes! Newes of good fortune, ioy and happinesse!

PAN.

Cricca, my sadnesse is vncapable Of better tidings: I am vndone most miserable!

CR.

Offend not your good luck, y'are now more fortunate Then when you rose this morning: Bee merry, sir, Cheare vp your selfe, y'haue what you wisht, feare nothing.

PAN.

May bee Antonio newly repents himselfe, With purpose to restore my Flauia.

Cricca, what is't? where's all this happinesse?

CR.

Lock't in Antonio's Closet.

PAN.

All alone? Sure that's my Flauia. Is not Eugenio Suffred to enter?

CR.

Antonio keepes the key: No creature enter's but himselfe. Al's safe And shall be so restor'd.

PAN.

O my sweet Cricca!

CR.

And they that wrong'd you, most extremely sory, Ready to yeeld you any satisfaction.

PAN.

Is't possible they should so soone repent them? That iniur'd mee so lately? tell mee the manner That caus'd them see their errour.

CR.

I'le tell you, sir. Being iust now at old Antonio's house, One thunder's at th'back dore, enters, and presses To speake in priuate with yong Lelio; Was instantly admitted: And thinke you who? 'Twas your Astrologer Albumazar. When hee had spoke a while; Lelio and Antonio In hast command' mee fetch a Constable.

PAN.

How can this Story touch my happinesse?

CR.

I vp and downe throw slimie Ale-houses, Clowdie Tobacco-shops, and vapouring Tauernes: My mouth full of enquiry; At last found one▪

PAN.

What of all this? is't possible a Constable Concernes my good?

CR.

And following my directions, Went to a Tippling-house, where wee tooke drinking Three hansome fellowes with a great Chest; Attach't them, And brought all to Antonio.

PAN.

Well, what then?

CRI.

These were th'Astrologers intelligences. That rob'd you through th'South window.

PA.

I thought th'hadst spoken Of Flauia's restoring.

CRI.

I meane your plate And treasure; pray you, sir, is't not great happinesse To re-obtaine three thousand pounds in valew, Desperately lost? and you still dote and dreame Of Flauia, who by your owne consent And oath is promis'd to your sonne Eugeni?

PA,

Forward.

CR.

Within this Chest Antonio found your Plate, Gold, Iewels, cloath of siluer, nothing perish't,

But all safe lock't till you acknowledge it. And since Albumazar of his owne accord Freely confest, and safe restor'd your treasure: Since 'tis a day of Iubile and marriage; Antonio would entreate you to release And pardon the Astrologer: Thanking your fortune That hath restor'd you to your wealth, and selfe. Both which were lost i'th'foolish loue of Flauia.

PA.

Reason hath clear'd my sight, and drawne the vaile Of dotage that so dark't my vnderstanding. I clearely see the slau'ry of affections; And how vnsutable my declining yeares Are for the dawning youth of Flauia. Let the best ioies of Hymen compasse her, And her yong husband, my Eugenio, With full content. And since Albumazar By accident, caus'd all this happinesse; I freely pardon him, and his companions: And hast t'assist the marriages and feasts.

CRI.

Why now you shew your selfe a worthy Gentleman.

ACT. 5. SCEN. vit.

TRINCALO. CRICCA.

TRIN.

CRicca I ouer-heard your newes: all parts are pleas'd▪ Except my selfe. Is there no newes for Trincalo?

CRIC.

Know'st it not? In, and see: Antonio Hath giu'n thee Armellina with a portion, Two hundreth Crownes: and old Pandolfo bound By oath t'assure thee twenty pounds a yeare, For three liues.

TR.

Haj!

CRI.

Come in.

TR.

I'le follow.