Satyrical essayes characters and others. Or Accurate and quick descriptions, fitted to the life of their subiects. Iohn Stephens

CHARAC. III. Abase Mercenary Poet

IS the most faithfull obsequious seruant of him that giues most: he subscribes his definition to all Dedicatory Epistles. If mo∣ther-wit raisd him to be a wri∣ter, he shewes himselfe a duti∣full Childe, and begges Poems in defence of Nature: neither can hee choose but betray him∣selfe to be a cosset, by his odde frisking matter, and his Apish Titles: which may perswade any reasonable man, that he studies more to make faces, then a de∣cent carriage. If he haue learnt Lillies Grammer, and a peece of Ouids Metamorphosis, he thinkes it time to aske his patrons bles∣sing with some worke that sa∣vours

very much of the authors meaning, and two or three La∣tine sentences. If he hath seene the Vniversity, and forsaken it againe, because he felt no deserts which might chalenge a benefa∣ctor: then he calles every man (besides his patron) a despiser of learning, and he is wonder∣full angry with the world; but a brace of angels will pacifie his humour. If hee be an expulsed Graduate, hee hath beene con∣versant so long with rules of Art, that hee can expresse nothing without the Art of begging, or publicke sale: but commonly hee is some swimming-headed Clarke, who after he hath spent much time in idle Sonners, is driven to seeke the tune of Sil∣ver, to make vp his consort. Necessity and covetous hire, bribe his invention, but cannot

corrupt his conscience: for though hee vndertakes more then hee is able, yet hee con∣cludes within expectation of o∣thers that know him, and so hee deceiues himselfe onely. Hee will never forfeite his day to necessitie, if hee writes by ob∣ligation; but hee never payes backe the principall to his Au∣thour: which happens divers times when hee is the Scriue∣ner and the Debtor: for the tide of one Pamphlet beeing vented at his elbowes, with leaning vpon Taverne-tables; hee tyes himselfe to certaine limites; within which pre∣cinctes hee borrowes much, translates much, coynes much, converting all to his pro∣iect: and if matter failes, hee flyes vpon the Lawyer, or flat∣ters his obiect: but hee never

becomes so excellent, that the Creditor of his invention, may thinke it a dignitie to haue had such a Debtor: and there∣fore hee payes backe nothing. His Apologies discover his shifting cousenage: For he at∣tributes the vices of his quill to the Ages infirmitie; which endures nothing but amorous delights, close bawdry, or mirth∣full studied Iests: As if the ig∣norance of any Age could hin∣der a wise mans propositions. Hee is a Traded fellow, though hee seemes a Scholler: but is never free of the Company, or accepted, till hee hath drunke out his Apprentise-hood a∣mong the grand Masters, and then with an vnivocall con∣sent, hee may commend his Wares, turne them into the fashion, and dresse over

his old Pamphlets, to incroach vpon the buyer. He presumes much vpon absolute good meanings, though the Text bee palpable: and yet where hee commends himselfe best, hee is not refractorie: for hee still promises amendment, or some more voluminous worke, to gratifie his Benefactors; but hee could never liue long e∣nough to finish his miracles. But hee is much indebted to the favour of Ladies, or at least seemes to haue been gra∣ciously rewarded: if he affects this humour, hee extolls their singular iudgement before he meddles with his matter in question: and so selles himselfe fictitiously to the worlds o∣pinion. If his handes bee no more actiue then his head, hee is guiltie of many a good

Scribes idlenesse, by making that legible, which (before Trans-scription) might haue been tolerable folly. If you be therefore an honest, or gene∣rous Patron, suffer him not to bee printed.