How to know a Flatterer from a Friend.

PLATO is of Opinion, that 'tis very par∣donable in a Man to acknowledge that he has an extraordinary Passion for himself, and yet the Humor is attended with this ill Consequent, besides several others, that it ren∣ders us incapable of making a right Judgment of our selves; for our Affections usually blind our discerning Faculties, unless we have learn'd to raise them above the sordid Level of things con∣genial and familiar to us, to those which are tru∣•…y noble and excellent in themselves. And hence •…t is that we are so frequently expos'd to the At∣tempts of a Parasite, under the Disguise and Vi∣zard of a Friend: for Self-love, that grand Flatterer within, willingly entertains another from without, who will both sooth up and second the Man in the good Opinions he has conceiv'd of himself. For he who deservedly lies under the Character of one that loves to be flatter'd, is doubtless sufficiently fond of Page  2 himself; and through abundance of Complai∣sance to his own Person, not only wishes, but thinks himself Master of all those Perfections which may recommend him to others. And tho indeed it be laudable enough to covet such Ac∣complishments, yet is it altogether unsafe for any Man to fancy them inherent in him.

Now if Truth be a Ray of the Divinity, as Plato says it is, and the Source of all the Good that derives upon either Gods or Men, then cer∣tainly the Flatterer must be look'd upon as a pub∣lick Enemy to all the Gods, and especially to A∣pollo; for he always acts counter to that celebrated Oracle of his [Know your self;] endeavouring to make every Man his own Cheat, by keeping him ignorant of the good and ill Qualities that are in him; whereupon the Good never arrive at perfection, and the Ill grow incorrigible.

Did Flattery indeed, as most other Misfor∣tunes do, generally or altogether wait on the debauch'd and ignoble part of Mankind, the Mischief were of less Consequence, and might admit of an easier Prevention: But, as Worms breed most in sweet and tender Woods; so usu∣ally the most obliging, the most brave and gene∣rous Tempers readiliest receive, and longest en∣tertain the flattering Insect, that hangs and grows upon them. And since, to use Simonides's Expres∣sion, it is not for Persons of a narrow Fortune, but for Gentlemen of Estates, to keep a good Stable of Horses; so never saw we Flattery the Attendant of the Poor, the inglorious and incon∣siderable Plebeian, but of the Grandees of the World, the Distemper and Bane of great Fami∣lies and Affairs, the Plague in Kings Chambers, and the Ruine of their Kingdoms: Therefore it Page  3 is a Business of no small importance, and which requires no ordinary Circumspection, so to be a∣ble to know a Flatterer in every Shape he assumes, that the Counterfeit Res•mblance sometime or o∣ther bring not true Friendship it self into Suspicion and Dis-repute. For Parasites, like Lice, which desert a dying Man, whose pall'd and vapid Blood can feed them no longer, never intermix in dry and insipid Business, where there's nothing to be got; but prey upon a nobler Quarry, the Mi∣nisters of State, and Potentates of the Earth, and afterwards lowsily shirk off, if the Greatness of their Fortune chance to leave them. But it will not be Wisdom in us to stay till such fatal Jun∣ctures, and then try the Experiment, which will not only be useless, but dangerous and hurtful; for 'tis a deplorable thing for a Man to find him∣self then destitute of Friends, when he most wants them, and has not an Opportunity neither of Ex∣changing his false, his faithless, for a fast and ho∣nest Friend. And therefore we should rather try our Friend, as we do our Money, whether or no he be passable and current, before we need him. For 'tis not enough to discover the Cheat to our Cost, but we must so understand the Flatterer, that he put no Cheat upon us; otherwise we should act like those who must needs take Poyson to know its Strength, and foolishly hazard their Life to inform their Judgment. And as we can∣not approve of this careless, so neither of that too scrupulous Humour of those, who taking the Measures of true Friendship only from the bare Honesty and usefulness of the Man, immediately suspect a pleasant and easie Conversation for a Cheat. For a Friend is not a dull, tasteless thing, nor does the Decorum of Frienship consist in sowr∣ness Page  4 and austerity of Temper, but its very Port and Gravity is soft and amiable:

For 'tis not only a Comfort to the Afflicted, As Euripides speaks; but Friendship extends it self to both Fortunes, as well brightens and adorns Prosperity, as allays the Sorrows that attend Ad∣versity. And as Euenus used to say, That Fire makes the best Sauce; so Friendship, wherewith God has seasoned the Circumstances of our Mor∣tality, gives a Relish to every Condition, renders them all easie, sweet, and agreeable enough. And indeed, did not the Laws of Friendship ad∣mit of a little Pleasantry and good Humor, why should the Parasite insinuate himself under that Disguise? And yet he, as counterfeit Gold, imi∣tates the Brightness and Lustre of the true, always puts on the Easiness and Freedom of a Friend, is always pleasant and obliging, and ready to com∣ply with the Humor of his Company. And there∣fore 'tis no way reasonable neither, to look upon every just Character that is given us as a piece of Flattery; for certainly a due and seasonable Com∣mendation is as much the Duty of one Friend to another, as a pertinent and serious Reprehension; nay, indeed a sowr querulous Temper is perfectly repugnant to the Laws of Friendship and Conver∣sation: whereas a Man takes a Chiding patiently from a Friend, who is as ready to praise his Ver∣tues, as to animadvert upon his Vices willingly perswading himself that meer Necessity obliged Page  5 him to reprimand, whom Kindness had first mov∣ed to commend him. Why then, may some say, 'tis infinitely difficult at this Rate, to distinguish a Flatterer from a Friend, since there's no appa∣rent Difference, either betwixt the Satisfaction they create, or the Praises they bestow. Nay, 'tis observable, that a Parasite is frequently more obsequious and obliging than a Friend himself.

Well, the way then to discover the Disparity? Why, I'll tell you: If you would learn the Cha∣racter of a true subtil Flatterer, who nicks his Point Secundum Artem; you must not with the Vulgar, mistake those sordid Smell-Feasts, and poor Trencher-slaves, for your Men, who begin to prate as soon as they have wash'd their Hands in order to Dinner, as one says of them; and e're they are well warmed with a good Cut of the first Dish, and a Glass of Wine, betray the nar∣row Soul that acts them, by the nauseous and fulsome Buffoonry they vent at Table. For sure there needed no great Sagacity to detect the Flat∣tery of Melanthius, Alexander Pheraecus's Parasite, who being asked how his Master was murdered? made answer, That he was run through his Body into the Side. Nor must we, again, confine our Notions of Flatterers, to those sharping Fellows, who ply about Rich Mens Tables, whom neither Fire, nor Sword, nor Porter, can keep from Sup∣per; nor yet to such as were those Female Para∣sites of Cyprus, who going into Syria, were Nick∣nam'd Steps, because they cringed so to the great Ladies of that Country, that they mounted their Chariots on their Backs.

Well, but after all, Who is this Flatterer then, whom we ought so industriously to avoid?

Page  6

I answer: He who neither professes, nor seems to flatter; who never haunts your Kitching, is never observed to watch the Dial, that he may nick your Supper-time; who won't drink to Ex∣cess, but will keep his Brains about him; who is prying and inquisitive, would mix in your Busi∣ness, and wind himself into your Secrets. In short, he who acts the Friend, not with the Air of a Comaedian or a Satyrist, but with the Port and Gravity of a Tragedian: For, as Plato says, 'Tis the height of Injustice to appear. Just, and be re∣ally a Knave. So are we to look upon those Flat∣terers as most dangerous, who walk not bare-fac'd, but in disguise; who make no sport, but mind their Business; for these often personate the true and sincere Friend so exactly, that 'tis enough to make him fall under the like Suspicion of a Cheat, unless we be extreamly curious in remarking the Difference betwixt them. It's storied of Gobias, (one of the Persian Nobility, who joyn'd with Da∣rius against the Magi) that being in pursuit of one of them, he accidentally stept into a little obscure House, where he absconded, and there fell upon him; during the Scuffle, Darius came in, and drew upon the Enemy, but durst not push at him, lest perhaps he might wound his Confede∣rate Gobrias with the Thrust; whereupon Gobrias bad him, rather than fail, run both through to∣gether. But since we can by no means admit of that vulgar Saying, Let my Friend perish, so my Enemy perish with him; but had rather still endea∣vour at the Discovery of a Parasite from a Friend, notwithstanding the nearness of the Resemblance, we ought to use our utmost Care, lest at any time we indifferently reject the Good with the Bad, or unadvisedly retain the Bad with the Good, the Page  7 Friend and Flatterer together. For as those wild Grains which usually grow up with Wheat, and are of the same Figure and Bigness with it, are not easily winnowed from it; for they either can∣not pass through the holes of the Sieve, if narrow, or pass together with the Wheat, if larger: So is it infinitely difficult to distinguish Flattery from Friendship, because the one so exquisitely mixes with all the Passions, Humors, Interest, and In∣clinations of the others.

Now because the Enjoyment of a Friend is at∣tended with the greatest Satisfaction incident to Humanity,* and therefore the Flatterer always en∣deavors to render his Conversation highly plea∣sant and agreeable.

Again, Because all Acts of Kindness and mu∣tual Beneficence are the constant Attendants upon true Friendship (on which account we usually say, A Friend is more necessary than Fire or Wa∣ter) therefore the Flatterer is ready upon every occasion to obtrude his Service upon you, and will with an indefatigable Bustle and Zeal, seek to ob∣lige you, if he can.

In the next Place,* the Parasite observing that all true Friendship takes its Origin from a Con∣currence of like Humors and Inclinations, and that the same Passions, the same Aversations and De∣sires are the first Cement of a true and lasting Friendship; he turns immediately all first Matter, capable of every Form, like soft Wax, pliant and yielding to any Impression, that the Person on whom he designs shall think fit to stamp upon him; and, in fine, so neatly resembles the Original, that one would swear,

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*But the most exquisite Fineness of a Flatterer, consists in his Imitation of that Freedom of Dis∣course, which Friends particularly use in mutual∣ly reprehending each other.

For finding that Men usually take it for what it really is, the natural Language of Friendship, as peculiar to it as certain Notes or Voices are to certain Animals; and that, on the contrary, a shie and sheepish Reserv'dness looks both rude and unfriendly, he lets not even this proper Character of a Friend escape his Imitation. But as skilful Cooks use to correct lushious Meats with sharp and pionant Sawce, that they may not be so apt to overcharge the Stomach; so he seasons his Flattery now and then with a little Smartness and Severity, lest the Fulsomness of repeated Dissimulation should pall and cloy the Company. And yet his Reprehen∣sions always carry something in them, that looks not true and genuine; he seems to do't but with a kind of a sneering and grinning Countenance at the best; and though his Reproofs may possibly tickle the Ear, yet they never strike effectually up∣on the Heart. On these accounts then 'tis as dif∣ficult to discern a Flatterer from a Friend, as to know those Animals again, which always wear the Livery of the last Thing they touch upon. And therefore since he puts so easily upon us, under the Disguise and Appearance of a Friend, it will be our Business at present to unmask the Hypocrite, and shew him in other Mens Shapes and Colours; as Plato speaks, since he has none properly his own.

Well then, let us enquire regularly into this Affair.

Page  9

We have already asserted,* That Friendship generally takes its rise from a Conformity of Tempers and Dispositions, whereby different Per∣sons come to have the same Taste of the like Humors, Customs, Studies, Exercises and Em∣ploys, as these following Verses import:

The Flatterer then observing how congenial it is to our Natures, to delight in the Conversation of those who are, as it were, the Counter-part of our selves, makes his first approaches to our Affe∣ctions at this Avenue, where he gradually advan∣ces (like one making towards a wild Beast in a Pa∣sture, with a Design to tame and bring it to hand) by accommodating himself to the same Stu∣dies, Business, and Colour of Life with the Person upon whom he designs, till at last he gives him an Opportunity to catch him, and becomes tractable by the Man who strokes him. All this while the Flatterer falls foul upon those Courses of Life, Per∣sons, and Things he perceives his Cully to disap∣prove, and then again as extravagantly commends those he is pleased to honour with his Approbati∣on; still perswading the Fop, that his Choice and Dislike are not the Results of Passion, but of a solid and discerning Judgment.

Well then,* by what Signs or Tokens shall we be able to know this Counterfeit Copy of our selves, from that which is true and genuine?

Page  10

In the first place, we must accurately remark upon the whole Tenor of his Life and Conversa∣tion, whether or no the Resemblance he pretends to the Original be of any continuance, natural and easie, and all of a piece, whether he square his Actions according to any one steady and uni∣form Model, as becomes an ingenuous Lover of Conversation and Friendship, which is all of one Thread, and still like it self; for this is a true Friend indeed. But the Flatterer, who has no Principles in him, and leads not a Life properly his own, but forms and moulds it according to the various Humors and Caprices of those he de∣signs to bubble, is never one and the same Man, but a meer Dapple or Trimmer, who changes Shapes with his Company, like Water that always turns and winds it self into the Figure of the Channel through which it flows. Apes, it seems, are usu∣ally caught by their antick Mimickry of the Mo∣tions and Gesticulations of Men; and yet the Men themselves are trapann'd by the same Craft of Imitation in a Flatterer, who adapts himself to their several Humors, Fencing and Wrestling with one, Singing and Dancing with another, &c. If he's in Chafe of a Spark that delights in a Pack of Dogs, he follows him at the Heels, hol∣lowing almost as loud as Hippolitus in the Tragedy Phaedra;

And yet the Hunter himself is the Game he de∣signs for the Toils. If he be in pursuit of some Bookish young Gentleman, then he's always a poring, nourishes his reverend Beard down to his Page  11 Heels, wears a tatter'd Cloak, affects the careless Indifferency of a Philosopher, and can now dis∣course of nothing under Plato's Triangles and Rectangles. If he chance to fall into the Ac∣quaintance of a drunken, idle Debauchee, who has got an Estate,

Puts off his long Robe, mows down his fruitless Crop of Beard, drinks briskly, laughs modishly on the Walks, and drolls handsomly upon the Philosophical Fops of the Town. And thus, they say it happen'd at Syracuse; for when Plato first arrived there, and Dionysius was wonderfully hot upon the Study of Philosophy, all the Area's in the Kings Palace were full of nothing but Dust and Sand, by reason of the great Concourse of Geometricians, who came to draw their Figures, and demonstrate there: But no sooner was Plato in Disgrace at Court, and Dionysius finally fallen from Philosophy to Wine and Women, Trifles and Intemperance, then Learning fell into a ge∣neral Disrepute, and the whole Body of the Peo∣ple, as if bewitched by some Circe or other, be∣came universally stupid, idle, and infatuated. Be∣sides this, I appeal to the Practices of Men noto∣rious for Flattery and Popularity, to back my Ob∣servation; witness he who topp'd them all, Alcibi∣ades, who, when he dwelt at Athens, was as arch and witty as any Athenian of them all, kept his Stable of Horses, play'd the good Fellow, and was universally obliging; and yet the same Man at Sparta shaved close to the Skin, wore his Cloak, never bath'd but in cold Water. When he so∣journed in Thrace, he drunk and fought like a Page  12 Thracian; and again, in Tissaphernes his Company in Asia, he acted the part of a soft arrogant, and voluptuous Asiatick. And thus by an easie Com∣pliance with the Humors and Customs of the Peo∣ple amongst whom he conversed, he made him∣self Master of their Affections and Interests. So did not the brave Epaminondas, nor Agisilaus, who though they had to do with great Variety of Men, and Manners, and Cities of vastly different Poli∣ties, yet were they still the same Men, and every where, through the whole Circle of their Conver∣sation, maintain'd a Port and Character worthy of themselves. And so was Plato the same Man at Syracuse that he was in the Academy; the same in Dionysius his Court that he was in Dion's.

But he who will take the pains to act the Dis∣sembler himself, by interchangably decrying and extolling the same Things, Discourses, Ways of Living, &c. will easily perceive that the Opinions of a Flatterer are as mutable and inconstant as the Colours of a Pourcuttle, that he is never consonant to himself, nor properly his own Man; that all his Passions, his Love and Hatred, his Joy and Sorrow, are borrowed and counterfeit; and that, in a Word, like a Looking-Glass, he only re∣ceives and represents the several Faces or Images of other Mens Affections and Humors. Do but discommend one of your Acquaintance a little in his Company, and hee'l tell you 'tis a wonder you never found him out all this while, for his part, he never fancied him in his Life. Change but your Stile, and commend him, he presently swears you oblige him in it, gives you a thousand thanks for the Gentleman's Sake, and believes your Cha∣racter of him to be but just. Tell him you have thoughts of altering your Course of Life; as for Page  13 Instance, to retire from all publick Imploys to Privacy and Ease; he immediately wishes that he had retreated long ago from the Hurry and Drudgery of Business, and the Odium that attends it. Seem but again inclinable to an Active Life: Why now, says he, you speak like your self: Lei∣sure and Ease are sweet; 'tis true, but withal, mean and inglorious. When you have thus tra∣pann'd him, 'twould be proper to cashier him with some such reply as this:

I abhor a Fellow who servilely complies with whatever I propose, and keeps pace with me in all my Motions (my Shadow can do that better than your self) but my Friend must deal plainly and impartially, and assist me faithfully with his Judgment.

And thus you see one way of discerning a Flat∣terer from a Friend.

Another Difference observable betwixt them in the Resemblance they bear to each other is, that a true Friend will not rashly commend nor imi∣tate every thing, but only what really deserves it; for he, as Sophocles says,

and will scorn to bear a part with him in any base and dishonorable Actions, unless, as People sometimes catch Blear-eyes; he may chance insen∣sibly to contract some ill Habit or other by the very Contagion of Familiarity and Conversation. Thus they say Plato's Acquaintance learned the Shrug of his Shoulders, Aristotle's his Stammering, Page  14 and Alexander's the Inclination of his Neck, and the Roughness of his Voice: For some Persons, e're they are aware, get a Touch of the Humors and Infirmities of those with whom they converse. But now as a true Friend endeavours only to Copy the fairest Originals; so, on the contrary, •he Flatterer, like the Camelion, which puts on all Co∣lours but the Innocent White, being unable to reach those Strokes of Vertue which are worth his Imitation, takes care however that no Failure or Imperfection escape him. As unskilful Painters, when they can't hit the Features and Air of a Face, content themselves with the faint Resemblance in a Wrinkle, a Wart, or a Scar; so he takes up with his Friends Intemperance, Superstition, Cho∣lerickness, Severity to his Servants, Distrust of his Relations and Domesticks, or the like. For, besides that a natural Propensity to Evil, inclines him always to follow the worst Examples, he i∣magines his assuming other Mens Vices will best secure him from the Suspition of being disaffected towards them, for their Fidelity is often suspected who seem satisfied with Faults, and with a Re∣formation; which very thing lost Dion in the good Opinion of Dionysius, Samius in Philip's, Cle∣omenes in Ptolemy's, and at last proved the Occa∣sion of their Ruine: And therefore the Flatterer pretends not only to the good Humor of a Com∣panion, but to the Faithfulness of a Friend too, and would be thought to have so great a Respect for you, that he cannot be disgusted at the very worst of your Actions, as being indeed of the same Make and Constitution with your self. Hence you shall have him pretend a Share in the most common Casualties that befal another; nay, in Complaisance, feign even Diseases themselves: in Page  15 Company of those who are thick of Hearing, he's presently half Deaf; and with the dim Sight∣ed, can see no more then they do. So the Pa∣rasites about Dionysius at an Entertainment, to hu∣mor his Blindness, stumbled one upon another, and justled the Dishes off his Table.

But there are others who refine upon the for∣mer, by a pretended Fellow-suffering in the more private Concernments of Life, whereby they rig∣gle themselves deeper into the Affections of those they flatter; as, if they find a Man unhappily married, or distrustful of his Children or Dome∣sticks, they spare not their own Family, but im∣mediately entertain you with some lamentable Sto∣ry of the hard Fortune they have met with in their Children, their Wife, their Servants, or Relations: For by the Parallel Circumstances they pretend to, they seem more passionately concern'd for the Misfortunes of their Friends; who, as if they had already received some Pawn and Assu∣rance of their Fidelity, blab forth those Secrets which they cannot afterwards handsomly retract, and dare not betray the least Distrust of their new Confident for the future. I my self knew a Man, who turn'd his Wife out of Doors, because a Gentleman of his Acquaintance divorc'd his, though the Lady, who was thus discarded, smelt the Intrigue afterwards by the Messages the other's Husband sent, and the private Visits he was ob∣served to make her: So little did he understand the Flatterer, who took these following Verses for the Description of a Crab rather than his;

For this is the true Portraiture of those Sharp∣ers, who, as Eupolis speaks, spunge upon their Ac∣quaintance for a Dinner. But we will reserve these Remarks for a more proper Place.

In the mean time I must not omit the other Artifice observable in his Imitation; which is this:

That if at any time he counterfeit the good Qualities of his Friend, he immediately yields him the Preheminence: whereas there is no Com∣petition, no Emulation or Envy amongst true Friends, but whether they are equally accom∣plish'd or no, they bear the same even uncon∣cern'd Temper of Mind towards each other. But the Flatterer, remembring that he is but to act anothers Part, pretends only to such Strokes as fall short of the Original, and is willing to confess himself out-done in any thing but his Vi∣ces, wherein alone he claims the Precedency to himself; as if the Man he is to wheedle be diffi∣cult and morose, he's quite over run with Cho∣ler; if something Superstitious, he's a perfect En∣thusiast; if a little in Love, for his part, he's most desperately smitten: I laugh'd heartily at such a Passage, says one: But I had like to have died with Laughter, says the other. But now in speaking of any laudable Qualities, he inverts his Stile, as, I can run fast enough, says he; but you perfectly fly. I can sit an Horse tolerably well; but alas! What's that to this Hippocentaure for good Horsemanship? I have a tolerable good Genius for Poetry, and am none of the worst Ver∣sifiers of the Age; Page  17

And thus at the same time he obliges his Friend both in approving of his Abilities, by his own∣ing of them, and in confessing him incomparable in his way by his coming short of his Example. These then are the distinguishing Characters of a a Friend and Flatterer, as far as concerns the coun∣terfeit Resemblance betwixt them.

But because, as we have before observ'd,* 'tis common to them both to please (for a good Man is no less taken with the Company of his Friends, than an ill one is with a Flatterer's) let us discri∣minate them here too. And the way will be to have an Eye to the end to which they direct, the Satis∣faction they create, which may be thus illustrated. Your perfumed Oyls have a fine odoriferous Scent, and so, it may be, have some Medicines too: but with this difference, that the former are prepared barely for the gratification of the Sense, whilst the other, besides their Odour, purge, heal, fat∣ten, &c. Again, The Colours us'd by Painters are certainly very florid, and the Mixture agreeable; and yet so 'tis in some Medicinal Compositions too. Wherein then lies the difference? Why, in the End or Use for which they are designed: the one purely for Pleasure, the other for Profit. In like manner the Civilities of one Friend to a∣nother, besides the main Point of their Honesty, and mutual Advantage, are always attended with an over-plus of Delight and Satisfaction. Nay, they can now and then indulge themselves the Liberty of an innocent Diversion, a Collation, or a Glass of Wine; and believe me, can be as chearful and jocund as the best; all which they Page  18 use only as Sauce, to give a Relish to the more serious and weighty Concernments of Life; to which purpose was that of the Poet:

As likewise this to:

But the whole Business and Design of a Flat∣terer, is continually to entertain the Company with some Pastime or other, a little Jest, a Story well told, or a Comical Action; and in a word, he thinks he can never over-act the diverting part of Conversation. Where as the true Friend, proposing no other End to himself, than the bare discharge of his Duty, is sometimes pleasant, and as often, it may be, disagreeable, neither sol∣licitously coveting the one, nor industriously a∣voiding the other, if he judg it the more season∣able and expedient. For as a Physician, if need require, will throw in a little Saffron or Spike∣nard to qualify his Patient's Dose, and will now and then bathe him, and feed him up curiously; and yet again another time will prescribe him Castor, or

Or perhaps will oblige him to drink an Infusion of Hellebore, neither proposing the delici∣ousness of the one, nor the nauseousness of the other, as his scope and design, but only conduct∣ing him by these different Methods, to one and Page  19 the same End, the Recovery of his Health. In like manner the real Friend sometimes leads his Man gently on to Vertue by kindness, by plea∣sing and extolling him; as he in Homer, And another, speaking of Ʋlysses; And again, when he sees Correction requisite, will check him severely; as, And perhaps is forc'd another time to second hi• Words with Actions: As Menedemus reclaim'd his Friend Asclepiades's Son, a dissolute and debauch'd young Gentleman, by shutting his Doors upon him, and not vouchsafing to speak to him. And Arcesilaus forbad Battus his School, for having a∣bused Cleanthes in a Comedy of his; but after he had made satisfaction, and an acknowledgment of his Fault, took him into favour again. For we ought to grieve and afflict our Friend, with design meerly of serving him, not of making a Rupture betwixt us; and must apply our Repre∣hensions, only as pungent and acute Medicines, with no other intent than the Recovery of the Patient. And therefore a Friend, like a skilful Musician, who, to tune his Instrument, winds up one String, and lets down another, grants Page  20 some things, and refuses others, according as their Honesty or Usefulness prompt him; whereby he often pleases, but is sure always to profit: Where∣as the Parasite, who is continually upon the same humouring String, knows not how to let fall a cross Word, or commit a disobliging Action, but servilely complys with all your desires, and is always in the Tune you ask for. And therefore as Xenophon reports of Agesilaus, that he took some delight in being prais'd by those who would upon occasion dispraise him too: So ought we to judg, that he only rejoyces and pleases us really as a Friend, who will, when Need requires, thwart and contradict us; must suspect their Conversati∣on, who aim at nothing but our gratification, without the least intermixture of Reprehension; and indeed ought to have that Repartee of a Lace∣demonian ready upon such occasions, who hearing King Charillus highly extoll'd for an excellent Per∣son, asked, How he could be so good a Man, who was never severe to an ill one? They tell us, that Gad-flies, creep into the Ears of Bulls, and Tiques into those of Dogs: but I am sure the Parasite lays so close Siege, and sticks so fast to the Ears of the Ambitious, with the repeated Praises of their Worth, that 'tis no easy matter to shake him off again. And therefore it highly concerns them to have their Apprehensions awake, and upon the guard, critically to remark, whether the high Characters such Men lavish out, are intended for the Person or the Thing they would be thought to commend. And we may indeed suppose them more peculiarly design'd for the Things them∣selves, if they bestow them on Persons absent ra∣ther than present; if they covet, and aspire after the same Qualities themselves, which they mag∣nify Page  21 in others; if they admire the same Perfecti∣ons in the rest of Mankind, as well as in us; and are never found to faulter and bely, either in Word or Action, the Sentiments they have own∣ed. And, what is the surest Creterion in this Case, we are to examine, whether or no we are not really troubled at, or ashamed of the commission of those very Things for which they applaud us, and could not wish that we had said or acted the quite contrary: for our own Consciences, which are above the reach of Passion, and will not be put upon by all the sly Artifices of Flattery, will witness against us, and spurn at an undeser∣ved Commendation. But I know not how it comes to pass, that several Persons had rather be pittied then comforted in Adversity; and when they have committed a Fault, look upon those as Enemies and Informers, who endeavour to chide and lecture them into a Sense of their Guilt, but caress and embrace them as Friends, who sooth them up in their Vices. Indeed they who continue their Applauses to so inconsi∣derable a thing as a single Action, a wise Saying, or a smart Jest, do only a little present Mischief; but they who from single Acts proceed to de∣bauch even the Habits of the Mind with their immoderate Praises, are like those treacherous Servants, who not content to rob the common Heap in the Granary, filch even that which was chosen and reserved for seed. For whilst they entitle Vice to the Name of Vertue, they corrupt that prolific Principle of Action, the Genius and Disposition of the Soul, and poison the Fountain whence the whole Stream of Life derives. Thucidides observes That in the time of War and Sedition the Names of Good and Evil Page  22 are wont to be confounded: As Fool-hardiness is called a generous Espousal of a Friend's Quarrel; a provident Delay is nicknam'd Cowardise; Mode∣sty, a meer Pretext for Unmanliness; a prudent slow Inspection into Things, down-right Laziness, &c. In like manner, if you observe it, a Flatterer terms a profuse Man, liberal; a timerous Man, wary; a dull Fellow, grave; a stingy Miser, frugal; an amorous Youngster, kind and good-natured; a passionate proud Fool, stout; and a mean-spirited Slave, cour∣teous and observing. As Plato somewhere remarks, That a Lover, who is always a Flatterer of his b•∣loved Object, stiles a Flat-Nose, amiable; an Hawk-Nose, princely; the Black, virile; and the Fair, the Off-spring of the Gods: and observes particularly, that the Appellation of Hony-coloured, is nothing but the dawb of a Gallant, who is willing to set off his Mistresse's pale Complexion. Now indeed an ugly Fellow, banter'd into an Opinion that he's hand∣som, or a little Man magnified into tall and portly, cannot lie long under the Mistake, nor receive any great Injury by the Cheat: But when Vice is extoll'd by the Name of Vertue, so that a Man is induced to sin, not only without regret, but with joy and triumph, and is hardned beyond the modesty of a Blush for his Enormities; this sort of Flattery, I say, has been fatal even to whole Kingdoms. 'Twas this ruin'd Scicily, by stiling the Tyranny of Dionysius and Phalaris, nothing but Justice, and an hatred of villanous Practices. 'Twas this that overthrew Egypt, by palliating the King's Effeminacy, his Yellings, his Enthu∣siastick Rants, and his drawing the Figures of musical Instruments upon his Body, with the more plausible Names of true Religion, and the Worship of the Gods. 'Twas this that had very Page  23 nigh ruined the stanch Roman Temper, by ex∣tenuating the Voluptuousness, the Luxury, the sumptuous Shows, and public Profuseness of An∣tony, into the softer Terms of Humanity, good Nature, and the Generosity of a Gentleman, who knew how to use the Greatness of his Fortune. What but the Charms of Flattery made Ptolemy turn Piper and Fidler? What else put on Nero's Buskins, and brought him on the Stage? Have we not known several Princes, if they sung a tolerable Treble, term'd Apollo's? when they drank stoutly, stiled Bacchu's; and upon Wrest∣ling, Fencing, or the like, immediately dub'd by the Name of Hercules? Hurried on by those empty Titles, to the Commission of those Acts which were infinitely beneath the dignity of their Character? And therefore it will be then more especially our concern to look about us, when a Flatterer is upon the strain of praising; which he is sensible enough of and accordingly avoids all occasion of suspicion, when he attacks us on that side. If indeed he meets with a tawdry Fop, or a dull Country-Clown in a Leathern Jacket, he plays upon them with all the liberty imaginable: As Strathias insulted and triumph'd over the Sot∣tishness of Bias, when he told him that he had out-drunk King Alexander himself, and with that, turning about to Cyprias, burst out into Laughter. But if he chance to fall upon an apprehensive Man, who can presently smoak a design, especi∣ally if he thinks he has and Eye upon him, and stands upon his Guard, he does not immediately assault him with an open Panegyric, but first fetches a Compass, and softly winds about him, till he has in some measure tamed the untractable Creature, and brought it to his hand: For he Page  24 either tells him what high Characters he has heard of him abroad (introducing, as the Rhe∣toricians do, some third Person); how upon the Exchange t'other day he happily overheard some Strangers, and Persons of great gravity and worth, who spake extreme honourably of him, and professed themselves much his Admirers: Or else he forges some frivolous and false Accusa∣tion of him, and then coming in all haste, as if he had heard it really reported, asks him serious∣ly, if he can call to Mind where he said or did such a thing? and immediately upon his denial of the matter Fact, which he has Reason enough to expect, take occasion to fall upon the Subject of his Commendation. I wondred indeed, says he, to hear that you should calumniate your Friend, who never used to speak ill of your Enemies: that you should endeavour to rob another Man of his Estate, who so generously spend your own.

Others again, like painters who enhance the Lustre and Beauty of a curious Piece, by the Shades which surround it, slily extol and en∣courage Men in their Vices, by deriding and railing at their contrary Vertues. Thus in the Company of the Debauch'd, the Covetous, and the Extortioner, they run down Temperance and Modesty as meer Rusticity; and Justice, and Contentment with our present Condition, argue nothing in their Phrase but a dastardly Spirit, and an Impotence to Action. If they fall into the Acquaintance of Lubbers, who love Lazi∣ness and Ease, they stick not to explode the ne∣cessary Administration of Public Affairs, as a troublesome intermedling in other Mens Busi∣ness, and a desire to bear Office, as an useless empty Thirst after a Name. To wheedle in Page  25 with an Orator, they scout a Philosopher; and who so gracious as they with the Gilts of the Town, by laughing at Wives who are faithful to their Husband's Beds, as impotent and Coun∣try-bred? And, what's the most egregious Stra∣tagem of all the rest, the Flatterer shall traduce himself, rather than want a fair Opportunity to commend another: As Wrestlers put their Body in a low Posture, that they may the better worst their Adversaries. I am a very Coward at Sea, says he) impatient of any Fatigue, and cannot digest the least ill Language; but such an one fears no Colours, has no Fault, is an admirable good Man, bears all things with great Patience, and Evenness of Tem∣per. If he meets with one who abounds in his own Sense, and who affects to appear rigid and singular in his Judgement, and as an Argument of the Rectitude and Steadiness thereof, is aways telling you of that of Homer:

He applies a new Engine to move this great Weight; to such a one he imparts some of his private Concerns, as being willing to advise with the ablest Counsel, he has indeed a more intimate Acquaintance with others, but he was forc'd to trouble him at present: For to whom •…hould we poor witless Men have recourse (says he) when we stand in need of Advice? or whom else should we trust? And as soon as he has de∣livered his Opinion, whether it be to the purpose or no, he takes his Leave with seeming Satis∣faction, as if he had received an Answer from an Oracle. Again, if he perceives a Man pretends Page  26 to be Master of a Stile, he presently presents him with something of his own composing, requesting him to peruse and correct it. Thus Mithridates could no sooner set up for a Physician, than some of his Acquaintance desired to be cut and cauterized by him; a piece of Flattery that extended be∣yond the Falacy of bare Words, imagining that he must needs take it as an Argument of the great Opinion they had of his Skill, that they durst trust themselves in his Hands. Now to dis∣cover the Cheat which these Insinuations of our own worth might put upon us (a thing that re∣quires no ordinary Circumspection) the best way will be to give him a very absurd Advice, and to animadvert as impertinently as may be upon his Works, when he submits them to your Cen∣sure: for if he makes no Reply, but grants and approves of all you assert, and applauds every Period with the Elogy of very right! incomparable well! then you have trappann'd him, and 'tis plain, that though

But to proceed. As some have defin'd Paint∣ing to be mute Poetry; so there is a sort of silent Flattery, as expressive as the loudest Encomiums. For, as Hunters are then surest of their Game, when they pass under the Disguise of Travellers, Shepherds, or Husbandmen, and seem not at all intent upon their Sport: so the Elogies of a Parasite never take more effectually, than when he seems least of all to commend you. For he who rises up to a Rich Man, when he comes in Company; or who, having begun a Page  27 Motion in Parliament, suddenly breaks off, and gives some Leading Man the Liberty of speaking his Sense first in the Point; such a Man's Silence more effectually shews the Deference he pays the other's Judgment, then if he had avowedly pro∣claimed it. And hereupon you shall have them always placed in the Boxes at the Play-house, and pearch'd upon the highest Seats at other pub∣lick Entertainments, not that they think them suitable to their Quality; but meerly for the Op∣portunity of gratifying great Men by giving them place. Hence it is likewise, that they open first in all Solemn and Publick Assemblies, and by and by complement another into the Chair, as an abler Speaker; and retract their Opinion im∣mediately, if any Person of Authority, Riches, or Quality contradict them: So that you may perceive all their Concessions, Cringes, and Re∣spects to be but meer Courtship and Complai∣sance, by this easy Observation, that they are usually paid to Riches, Honour, or the like, ra∣ther than to Age, Art, Vertue, or other Perso∣nal Endowments.

Thus dealt not Apelles with Megabizus (one of the Persian Nobility) who pretending once to talk I know not what about Lines, Shades, and other things peculiar to his Art: the Painter could not but take him up, telling him, That his Apprentices yonder, who were grinding Co∣lours, gazed strangely upon him, admiring his Gold and Purple Ornaments, while he held his Tongue, but now could not chuse but titter to hear him offer at a Discourse upon an Argument so much out of his Spear. And when Craesus asked Solon his Opinion of Felicity, he told him flatly, that he looked upon Tellus, an honest Page  28 (though obscure) Athenian, and Biton, and Cleobis, happier than he. But the Flaterer will have Kings, Governours, and Men of Estates, not only the most signally happy, but the most eminently know∣ing, the most vertuous, and the most prudent of Mankind: And therefore some of them cannot endure to hear those Rants of the Stoicks, who cen∣ter all true Riches, Generosity, Nobility and Royalty it self in the Person of a wise Man: For 'tis the Man of Monys that's both Orator and Poet with them; and, if he pleases Painter and Fid••r too, a good Wrestler, an excellent Foot-man, or any thing, for they never stand with him for the Victory in those Engagements: As Cresson, who had the Honour to run with Alexander, let him design∣edly win the Race, which the King being told of afterwards, was highly disgusted at him. And therefore I like the Observation of Carneades, who used to say, That young Princes and Noble-Men never arrived at a tolerable Perfection in any thing they learn'd, except riding the great Horse; for their Preceptors spoil them at School by ex∣tolling all their Performances, and their Masters in the Academies usually take the Foil: whereas the Horse, who knows no distinction betwixt a private Man and a Magistrate, betwixt the Rich and the Poor, will certainly throw his Rider, if he knows not how to sit him, let him be of what Quality he pleases. And therefore 'twas but impertinently said of Bion upon this Subject, that he, who could praise his Ground into a good Crop, were to blame if he bestowed any other Tillage upon't. 'Tis granted: nor is it improper to commend a Man, if you do him any real Kindness by't; but here's the Disparity: That as a Field is not capable of Improvement, Page  29 so neither of Disservice by any Commendations bestow'd upon't: Whereas a Man immoderately praised, is puffed up, burst, and ruined by't.

Thus much then for the Point of praising;* Proceed we in the next place to treat of Freedom in their Reprehensions. And indeed, 'twere but reasonable, that as when Patroclus put on Achilles's Armour, and led his War-Horse out into the Field, yet durst not for all that venture to weild his Sphear: So, though the Flatterer wear all the other Badges and Ensigns of a Friend, he should not dare to counterfeit the plain Frank∣ness of his Discourse, as being a great, massy and substantial Weapon, peculiar to him.

But because to avoid that Scandal and Offence, which their drunken Bouts, their little Jests, and ludicrous babling Humour might otherwise cre∣ate, they sometime put on the Face of Gravity, and flatter under the Vizard of a Frown, dropping in now and then a Word of Correction and Reproof; let us examine this Cheat too amongst the rest.

And indeed I can compare that triffling insig∣nificant Liberty of Speech, which he pretends to, to nothing better than that Sham Hercules, which Menander introduces in one of his Comedies, with a light hollow Club upon his Shoulder; for as Womens Pillows, which seem sufficiently stuff'd to bear up their Heads, yield and sink under their Weight; so this counterfeit Freedom in a Flat∣terer's Conversation swells big, and promises fair, that when it shrinks and contracts it self, it may draw those in with it, who lay any stress upon its outward Appearance: whereas the genuine and friendly Reprehension fixes upon real Criminals, causing them Grief and Trouble indeed, but only Page  30 what is wholsom and salutary; like Honey that corrodes, but yet cleanses the ulcerous Parts of the Body, and is otherwise both pleasant and pro∣fitable. But of this in its proper place. We shall discourse at present, of the Flatterer, who affects a morose, angry, and inexorable Behaviour towards all but those, upon whom he designs; Is peevish and difficult towards his Servants, animadverts se∣verely upon the Failures of his Relations and Domesticks, neither admires nor respects a Stran∣ger, but superciliously contemns him; pardons no Man, but by Stories and Complaints exasperates one against another, thinking by these means to ac∣quire the Character of an irreconcileable Enemy with all manner of Vice, that he may be thought one who would not spare his Favourites them∣selves upon occasion; and indeed a Person who neither acts nor speaks any thing, out of a mean and dar•ard Complaisance.

And if at any time he undertakes his Friend, he feigns himself a meer Stranger to his real and considerable Crimes; but if he catch him in some petty triffling Piccadillo, there he takes his occa∣sion to rant him terribly, and thunder him severe∣ly off: If he sees any of his Goods out of order, if his House be not very convenient, if his Beard be not sha∣ven, or his Cloaths unfashionable, if his Dog or his Horse be not well looked after, &c. But, if he slights his Parents, neglect his Children, treat his Wife scornfully, his Friends and Acquaintance disrespectfully, and squander away his Estate; here he dares not open his Mouth, and it's the safest way to hold his Tongue: Just as if the Master of a Wrestling School should indulge his young Champion Schollar in Drinking and Wenching, and yet rattle him about his Oil-cruise, and Body-brush: Or, as if a School-master should whip a Boy for some little Page  31 fault in his Pen or Writing-book, but takes no notice of the Barbarisms and Solecisms in his Language. For the Parasite is like him, who hearing a ridiculous impertinent Orator, finds no fault with his Discourse, but Delivery; blaming him only for having spoiled his Voice with drink∣ing cold Water: Or, like one who being to per∣use and correct some pitiful Scrible, falls foul on∣ly upon the Courseness of the Paper, and the Blots and Negligence of the Transcriber. Thus the Parasites about Ptolomy, when he pretended to Learning, would wrangle with him till Mid∣night about the Propriety of an Expression, a Verse, or a Story; but not a word all this while of his Cruelty, Insults, Superstition and Op∣pressions of the People. Just as if a Chyrurgion should pair a Man's Nails, or cut his Hair, to cure him of a Fistula, Wen, or other carnous Excrescence. But there are others behind, who out-do all the Subtilty of the former, such as can claw and please, even whilst they seem to reprehend. Thus when Alexander had bestowed some considerable Reward upon a Jester, Agis the Grecian, through meer Envy and Vexation, cry'd out upon't as a most absurd Action; which the King over-hearing, he turn'd him about in great Indignation at the Insolence, saying, What's that you prate, Sarrah? Why truly replied the Man, I must confess, I am not a little troubled to observe that all you great Men, who are descended from Jupiter take a strange delight in Flatterers and Buffoons: For as Hercules had his Cercopians, and Bacchus his Silenians about him; so I see your Majesty is pleas'd to have a regard for such plea∣sant Fellows too. And one time when Tiberius Caesar was present at the Senate, there stood Page  32 up a certain fawning Counsellor, asserting, That all free born Subjects ought to have the Liberty of speaking their Sense freely, and should not dissemble or conceal any thing that they might conceive beneficial to the Publick, who having thus awakened the Attention of his Audience. Silence being made, and Tiberius impatient to hear the Sequel of the Man's Discourse, pursued it in this manner: I must tell you of a Fault, Caesar, (said he) for which we universally blame you, though no Man yet has taken the confidence to speak it openly; You neglect your self, endanger your sacred Person by your too much Labour and Care, Night and Day, for the Publick. And having harangued several things to the same effect, 'tis reported that Cassius Severus the Orator should subjoin [This Man's Freedom of Speech will ruin him.]

Such Artificers as these, I confess, are not very pernicious, but there remains one of a most dangerous consequence to weak Men; and that is, when a Flatterer shall fasten those Vices upon them, which are directly contrary to those they are really guilty of. As Himerius, an Athenian Parasite, upbraided one of the most miserable and stingy Misers of the whole Town, with Carelesness and Prodigality, telling him, He was afraid he should live to see the day when both he and his Children should go a begging. Or on the Contrary, when they object Niggardli∣ness and Parsimony to one that's lavish and pro∣fuse; as Titus Petronius did to Nero: or when they advise Arbitrary and Tyranical Princes to lay aside their too much Moderation, and their un∣profitable and unseasonable Clemency. These are they who shall pretend to be aware of a half-witted Idiot, as of some notable shrew'd Page  33 Fellow; and shall tax an ill natured censorious Man, if at any time he speak honorably of a Person of Worth, of being too lavish in his Com∣mendations: You are always praising, say they, Men that deserve it not; for who is he, or what remarka∣ble thing did he ever say or do? But they have yet a more signal Opportunity of exercising their Talent, when they meet with any difference betwixt Lo∣vers or Friends: For if they see Brothers quarrel, or Children despise their Parents, or Husbands jealous of their Wives, they neither admonish them of, nor blame them for it, but inflame the Difference: You do not understand your self, say they, you are the Occasion of all this Clutter by your own soft and submissive Behaviour. If there chance to have happened some little Love-Skirmish be∣twixt a Miss and her Gallant, then the Flatterer interposes boldly, and adds fresh Fuel to the ex∣piring Flame, taking the Gentleman to task, and telling him how many things he has done, which looked a little hard, were not kind, and deserved a Chiding.

Thus Cleopatra's Friends perswaded Antony, smitten with his beloved Egyptian, that she doted on him still, calling him haughty and hard-hearted Man: She, said they, has stript her self of the Glories of a Crown, and former Grandure, and now languishes with the Love of you, at∣tending the Motion of your Camp, in the poor fordid Figure of a Concubine;

Now he was strangely pleased to hear of his little Unkindnesses to his Mistriss, and was more taken with such a Chiding, than with the highest Character they could have given him; but was not sensible, that, under the Colour of a Friend∣ly Admonition, they really corrupted and de∣bauch'd him. For such a Rebuke as this, is just like the Biles of a lecherous Woman; for it only tickles and provokes, and pleases, even whilst it pains you. And as pure Wine, taken singly, is an excellent Antidote against Hemlock; but if mix'd with it, renders the Poyson incurable, be∣cause the Heat of the Wine quickens its Circula∣tion to the Heart: So some rascally Fellows, knowing very well that the Liberty of reproving a Friend, is a Quality very hardly compatible with Flattery, and, as I may say, the best Remedy a∣gainst it, mix them both together, and flatter you under the very Colour and pretext of reprimand∣ing you.

Upon the whole therefore, Bias seems not to have answered him very pertinently, who asked him, Which he thought was the most hurtful Animal? when he replied, That of wild Creatures, a Tyrant, and of tame ones, a Flatterer: For he might have answered more accurately, that some Flatterers indeed are tame Creatures, those Shirks, who ply about your Bath, and your Table; but they whose Calumnies, Malignity and Inquisi∣tive medling Humor, like so many Gins and Snares, reach the Ladies very Closets and Bed-Chambers, Page  35 these are wild, savage and untracta∣ble.

Now one way of arming our selves against these Assaults, will be always to remember,* that since our Souls are made up of two different Parts; the one sincere, honest and reasonable; the other brutish, false, and govern'd by Passion: the Friend always adapts his Advice and Admoniti∣ons to the Improvement of the better part, like a good Physician, who preserves and advan∣ces an healthful Constitution where he finds it; whilst the Flatterer claws and tickles the irrational Part of the Man only, debauching it from the Rules of right Reason, by the repeated Suggesti∣on of soft and sensual Delights. For as there are some sort of Meats, which neither assimulate with the Blood, nor invigorate the Spirits, the Nerves, nor the Marrow, but only provoke Lust, swell the Paunch, and breed putrid flabby Flesh: So •…e who shall give himself the Labour to observe will find that the Discourses of a Flatterer con∣•…ribute nothing to the Improvement of our Pru∣•…ence and Understanding, but either only enter∣•…ain us with the Pleasure of some Love Intrigue, •…r make us indiscreetly angry, or envious, or •…low us up into an empty troublesome Opinion of •…ur selves, or increase our Sorrows, by pretend∣•…ng to share in them; or render us difficult, stin∣•…y, and incredulous, sowr, timorous and jea∣•…ous, with several idle malicious Stories, Hints •…nd Conjectures of his own: For he always fa∣•…tens upon, and pampers some Distemper of the Mind, growing, like a Botch or Boil, upon its •…nflamed or putrid part only. Are you angry? •…evenge your self, says he: Covet you any thing? Page  36 have it: Are you afraid? fly: Suspect you this, or that? believe it.

But if we find it something difficult to discover him in these Attempts upon our Passions, because they often violently over-power all the Forces of our Reason to the contrary; we may then trace him in other Instances of his Knavery, for he al∣ways acts consonant to himself: As if you are afraid of a Surfeit, and thereupon be in suspense about your Bath and Diet, a Friend indeed will advise you to act cautiously, and take care of your Health; but the Flatterer perswades you to the Bath, bids you feed freely, and not starve your self with Mortification. If he observes you want Briskness and Spirit for Action, as being unwil∣ling to undergo the Fatigue of a Journey, a Voyage, &c. He'll tell you presently, There's no hast, the Business may be well enough deferr'd, or else transacted by Proxy. If at any time you have promised to lend or give a Friend a Sum of Money, and upon second thoughts gladly would, and yet are ashamed to retract your Word; the Flatterer puts his Advice into the worst Scale, and inclines the Ballance to the saving Side, strips you of your squemish Modesty, telling you, That you ought not to be so prodigal, who live at great Expences, and are willing to relieve o∣thers besides him. And therefore unless we be more Strangers to our selves, to our own Desires, Fears, Confidence, or the like, the Flatterer can∣not easily escape our Discovery; for he's the great Patron of these disorderly Passions, endea∣voring always to wind us up to Excesses of this Kind. But enough of this.

* Let us, in the next place, discourse of the use∣ful and kind Offices, which the Flatterer seems so Page  37 chearfully ready upon every occasion to perform, that it renders the Disparity betwixt him and the true Friend extreamly perplext and intricate.

But as Euripides says of Truth, That it loves plain Language: So the Temper of a Friend is sincere, natural, without Paint or Varnish; but that of a Flatterer, as it is corrupt and diseased in it self, so stands it in need of many, and those cu∣rious and exquisite Remedies too, to correct it. And therefore you shall have Friends upon an ac∣cidental Rancounter, without either giving or re∣ceiving a formal Salute, content themselves to speak their mutual Kindness and Familiarity in a Nod and a Smile: But the Flatterer pursues you, runs to meet you, and is ready to kiss your hand before he comes at you; and if you chance but to see and salute him first, he swears you must excuse his Rudeness, and will produce you Witness that he did not see you, if you please. Thus again; A Friend dwells not upon every trifling Puncti∣lio, is not ceremonious and punctual in the trans∣acting of Business, is not inquisitive, nor intrudes into every piece of Service: But the Parasite is all Obedience, all perpetual indefatigable Industry, admits no Rival in his Services, but will wait your Commands, which if you lay not upon him, he seems mightily afflicted, the unhappiest Man in the World!

Now these Observations are Argument enough to convince a Man of any tolerable Sence, that the Friendship such Men pretend to, is not really Vertuous and Chast, but rather a sort of impu∣dent whorish Love, that obtrudes its Embraces upon you.

* But to be more particular, let us first examine the Disparity betwixt their Promises: For our Page  38 Fore-fathers well observed, that the Offers of a Friend run in such Terms as these:

But the Flatterer's thus; For the Comedians introduce such brave Promi∣sers as these:

Besides, no real Friend will assist in the Execu∣tion of a Design, unless, being first advised with, he approve of it, as either honest or useful: Whereas the Flatterer, though permitted to con∣sult and give his Opinion about an Undertaking, not only out of a paltry Desire to comply with, and gratifie his Friend at any rate; but lest he should be look'd upon as disaffected to the Business, servilely closes with, and advances his Proposals, how unreasonable soever. For there are few Rich Men or Princes of this Mind,

For they, like Actors in a Tragedy, must have a Chorus of their Friends to joyn with them in the Concert, or else the Claps of the Pit to encou∣rage Page  39 them: Whereupon Merope in the Tragedy speaks thus: But alas! they invert the Counsel, abominate those who deal freely with them, and advise them obstinately for the best; whilst pitiful cringing Cheats and Impostors are admitted not only into their Houses, but into their Affections, and the nearest Concernments of their Life. You shall have some of them indeed more plain and simple than the rest, who confess themselves unworthy to consult about such weighty Affairs, but are ready to serve you in the executive part of a Design: But the more subtil Hypocrite comes in at the Consult, knits his Brows, declares his Consent by the Gravity of a Look or a Nod, but speaks ne∣ver a Word, unless perchance, when the Great Man delivers his Opinion, he cries, Lord! Sir, you prevented me, I was just a going to say so. For as the Mathematicians tell us, that Surfaces and Lines, which are incorporeal, and Creatures of the Understanding only, are neither bended, nor moved, nor extended of themselves, but are so affected together with the Bodies, whose Extre∣mities they are: So you shall observe the Flatte∣rer attends only the Motion of another's Sense, O∣pinion, Passion, &c. without any Principle of Action in himself. So that the Disparity betwixt them thus far is easily discernable.

* And yet easilier in the manner they perform their good Offices. For the Kindnesses of a Page  40 Friend, like the noblest Faculties of an animate Creature, lie deep, without any Parade or Page∣antry on the Outside: Nay, many times, as a faithful Physician cures his Patient when he least knows of it; so a true Friend, either present or absent, as occasion serves, is sollicitous about your Concerns, when perhaps you know nothing of it. Such was the excellent Arcesilaus, as in other his Actions, so particularly in his Kindness to Apelles, Native of Chios, whom finding extreamly indi∣gent in his Sickness, he repeated his Visit to him with twenty Drachms in his Pocket; and sitting by his Bed-side, You have got nothing here, said he, but Empedocles's Elements, Fire, Water, Earth, and the surrounding Air; neither methinks do you lie easily: And with that, stirring up his Pillow, put the Money privately under his Head: Which when the good old Woman his Nurse found, and and in great Admiration acquainted Apelles with; Ay, says he, smiling a little, this is a Piece of Ar∣cesilaus's Thievery. And what Philosophy tells us, that Children usually resemble their Parents, we find in some measure verified in Arcesilaus, and Lacydes, his intimate Acquaintance: For when Ce∣phi Socrates was impeached of High-Treason, and Lacydes, with several others of his Friends, stood by him at his Tryal, the Counsel for the State desired the Prisoners Ring, wherein lay the prin∣cipal Evidence against him, might be produced in Court, which Cephi Socrates hearing, dropt it soft∣ly off his Finger, and Lacydes observing it, set his Foot upon't, and buried it in the Ground. Whereupon being acquitted, and going after∣wards to pay his Respects and thanks to his Judg∣es; one of them, who, it seems, had took notice of the Passage, told him, that his Thanks were Page  41 owing to Lacydes, and so related the whole Sto∣ry, when yet Lacydes had never mentioned it.

Thus I am verily perswaded that the Gods con∣fer several Benefits upon us which We are not sensi∣ble of, upon no other Motive in the World, than the meer Pleasure and Satisfaction they take in Acts of kindness and Beneficence.

But on the contrary, the seemingly good Offi∣ces of a Flatterer have nothing of that Sincerity and Integrity, that Simplicity and Ingenuity, which recommend a Kindness; but are always at∣tended with Bustle and Noise, Hurry, Sweat and contracting the Brow, to enhance your Opinion of the great Pains he has taken for you; like a Picture drawn in gawdy Colours, with folded torn Gar∣ments, full of Angles and Wrinkles, to make us be∣lieve it an elaborate Piece, and done to the Life.

Besides, the Flatterer is so extreamly trouble∣some, in recounting the weary Steps he had taken, the Cares he has had upon him, the Persons he has been forced to oblige, with a thousand other Inconveniences he has laboured under upon your Account, that you'll be apt to say, the Business was never worth all this Din and Clutter about it.

For a Kindness once upbraided, looses its Grace, turns a Burden, and becomes intolerable. But the Flatterer not only reproaches us with his Ser∣vices already past, but at the very Instant of their Performance; whereas if a Friend be obliged to speak of any Civility done another, he modestly mentions it indeed, but attributes nothing to him∣self. Thus when the Lacedemonians supplied the People of Smyrna in great Scarcity of Provisions, and they gratefully resented and extoll'd the Kind∣ness; Why, replied the Spartans, 'twas no such Page  42 great matter, we only robb'd our selves and our Cattel of a Dinner. For a Favour thus bestowed, is not only free and ingenuous, but more acceptable to the Receiver, because he imagines his Benefactor conferred it on him without any great Prejudice to himself.

*But the Temper of a Flatterer is not only dis∣cernable from that of a Friend, in the easiness of his Promises, and the troublesome Impertinence that attends his good Offices, but more signally in this, That the one is ready to promote any base and unworthy Action; the other, those only which are fair and honest: the one labours to please, the other to profit you. For a Friend must not, as Gorgias would have him, beg ano∣thers Assistance in a just Undertaking, and then think to compensate the Civility, by contributing to several that are unjust; for he is not bound to bear a part in the Follies of his Friend, but rather to disswade him from them: And if, after all, he cannot prevail upon him, may disengage himself with the Reply of Phocion to Antipater; Sir, I cannot be both your Friend, and your Flatterer; that is, your Friend, and not your Friend at the same time. For we ought to be assistant to him in his honest Endeavours indeed, but not in his Knave∣ries; in his Counsels, not in his Tricks; in ap∣pearing as Evidence for him, but not in a Cheat; and must bear a share in his Misfortunes, but not in his Acts of Injustice. For if a Man ought not to be as much as conscious of an Unworthi∣ness in his Friend, how much less will it become him to partake in it? Therefore, as when the Lacedemonians, defeated by, and treating of Arti∣cles of Peace with Antipater, pray'd him to com∣mand them any thing, howsoever grievous and Page  43 burthensome to the Subject, provided it were not base and dishonorable: So a Friend, if you want his Assistance in a chargeable, dangerous and la∣borious Enterprize, imbarks in the Design chear∣fully, and without reserve; but if such as will not stand with his Reputation and Honour, he fairly desires to be excused. Whereas on the con∣trary, if you offer to put a Flatterer upon a diffi∣cult or hazardous Employment, he shuffles you off, and begs your Pardon. For sound him but, as you rap a Vessel, to try whether it be whole or crackt, full or empty; and he shams you off with the Noise of some paltry, frivolous Excuses: But en∣gage him in any mean, fordid and inglorious Ser∣vice, abuse him, kick him, trample on him, he bears all patiently, and knows no Affront. For as the Ape, who cannot keep the House like a Dog, or bear a Burden like an Horse, or plow like an Ox, serves to be abus'd, to play the Buf∣foon, and to make Sport: So the Parasite, who can neither plead your Cause, nor be your Coun∣sel, nor espouse your Quarrel, as being averse from all painful and good Offices, denies you in nothing that may contribute to your Pleasure, turns Pander to your Lust, Pimps for a Whore, provides you a handsome Entertainment, looks that your Bill be reasonable, and sneaks to your Miss; but shall treat your Relations with Dis-re∣spect, and impudently turn your Wife out of Doors, if you Commission him. So that you may easily discover him in this Particular; for put him upon the most base and dirty Actions, he will not spare his own Pains, provided he can but gratifie you.

* There remains yet another way to discover him by his Inclinations towards your Intimates Page  44 and Familiars. For there's nothing more agree∣able to a true and cordial Acquaintance, than to love with, and to be beloved of many; and therefore he always sedulously endeavours to gain his Friend the Affections and Esteem of other Men. For being of Opinion that all things ought to be in common amongst Friends, he thinks nothing ought to be more so, then they themselves. But the Faithless, the Adulterate, and Friend of base Alloy, who is conscious to himself of the Dis-service he does true Friendship, by that false Coin of it which he puts upon us, is naturally full of Emulation and Envy, even to∣wards those of his own Profession, endeavouring to out-do them in their common Talent of Bab∣ling and Buffoonry, whilst he reveres and cringes to his Betters, whom he dares no more vie with, than a Foot-man with a Lydian Chariot, or Lead (to use Simonide's Expression) with refined Gold. Therefore this light and empty Counterfeit, find∣ing he wants Weight, when put into the Ballance against a sollid and substantial Friend, endeavours to remove him as far as he can; like him, who having painted a Cock extreamly ill, commanded his Servant to take the Original out of sight, and if he cannot compass his Design, then he proceeds to Complement and Ceremony, pretending outward∣ly to admire him, as a Person far beyond himself, whilst by secret Calumnies he blackens, and under∣mines him; which if they chance to have gall'd and fretted him only, and have not throughly done his Work, then he betakes himself to the Advice of Medius, that Arch-Parasite, and Enemy to the Macedonian Nobility, and Chief of all that nume∣rous Train which Alexander entertained in his Court. This Man taught his Disciples to slander Page  45 boldly, and push home their Calumnies, for though the Wound might probably be cured, and skinned over again, yet the Teeth of Slander would be sure to leave a Scar behind them; by these Scars (or to speak more properly) Gangrenes and Can∣cers of false Accusations, fell the brave Callisthenes, Parmenio and Philotas, whilst he himself became an easie Prey to an Agnon, Bagoas, Agesius, and Demetrius, who trick'd him up like a Barbarian Statue, or Antick, and paid the Mortal the Ado∣ration due to a God. So great a Charm is Flat∣tery, and, as it seems, the greatest with those we think the greatest Men; for the exalted Thoughts they entertain of themselves, and the Desire of an universal Concurrence in the same Opinion from others, both add Courage to the Flatterer, and Credit to his Impostures. Hills and Mountains indeed are not easily taken by Stratagem or Ambuscade; but a weak Mind, swoln big and lofty by Fortune, Birth, or the like, lies naked to the Assaults of every mean and petty Aggressor.

* And therefore we repeat here what we advised at our entrance into this Discourse, that we ca∣shire every vain Opinion of our selves, whose in∣bred Flattery only disposes and prepares us to a more favorable Reception of that from without. For, if we did but square our Actions according to the famous Oracular Precept of knowing our selves, rating things according to their true intrin∣sick Value, and withal, reflecting upon our own Nature and Education; consider what gross Im∣perfections and Failures mix with our Words, Actions and Affections, we should not lye so open to the Attempts of every Flatterer, who de∣signs upon us. For even Alexander himself being Page  46 reminded of his Mortality by two things especially, the Necessity of Sleep, and the use of Women, began to stagger in the Opinion they had made him conceive of his God-head. And did but we in like manner take an impartial Survey of those Troubles, Lapses and Infirmities incident to our Nature, we should find we stood in no need of a Friend to praise and extol our Vertues, but of one rather that would chide and reprimand us for our Vices. For first, there are but few who will venture to deal thus roundly and impartially with their Friend, and fewer yet who know the Art of it; Men generally, mistaking Railing, and ill Language, for a decent and friendly Reproof; and then a Chiding, like any other Physick, ill timed, racks and torments you to no purpose, and works in a manner the same Effect with Pain, that Flattery does with Pleasure. For an unseasonable Reprehension may be equally mischievous with an unseasonoable Commendation, and force your Friend to throw himself upon the Flatterer; like Water which meeting with too forcible a Resi∣stance from the Hills, rowls down upon the humble Valleys below: and therefore we ought to qualifie, and to allay the sharpness of our Reproofs with a due Temper of Candor and Moderation, as we would refract a Ray of Light too powerful for a distempered Eye, lest our Friends being plagu'd and ranted upon every tri∣vial occasion, should at last fly to the Flatterer's Shade for their Ease and Quiet. For all Vice, Philopappus, is to be corrected by an intermediate Vertue, and not by its contrary Extream, as some do, who to shake off that sheepish Bashfulness which hangs upon their Natures, learn to be Im∣pudent, to lay aside their Country Breeding, en∣deavor Page  47 to be Comical; to avoid the Imputation of Softness and Cowardise, turn Bullies; out of an Abhorrence of Superstition, commence Atheists; and rather than be reputed Fools, play the Knave; forcing their Inclinations, like a crooked Stick, to the opposite Extream, for want of Skill to set them streight.

Since then 'tis highly rude to endeavour to a∣void the Suspition of Flattery, only by being insignificantly troublesome, and argues an ungen∣teel, unconversable Temper in a Man, to show his just Abhorrency of mean and servile Ends in his Friendship, only by a sowr and disagreeable Behaviour; like the Libertine in the Comedy, who would needs perswade himself, that his rail∣ing Accusations fell within the Limits of that Freedom in Discourse, which every one had right to with his Equals. Since therefore, I say, 'tis absurd to incur the Suspicion of a Flatterer by an over-obliging and obsequious Humor; and as ab∣surd on the other hand, in endeavouring to de∣cline it by an immoderate Latitude in our Appre∣hensions, to lose the Enjoyments, and salutary Admonitions of a friendly Conversation; and that the Measures of Just and Proper in this, as in other things, are to be taken from Decency and Moderation; the Nature of the Argument seems to require me to conclude it with a Dis∣course upon this Subject.

Now seeing this Liberty of animadverting on other Mens Failures is liable to so many Excepti∣ons; let us in the first place carefully purge it from all mixture of Self-love* and Interest, lest any private Motive, Injury, Grudge or Dissatisfacti∣on of our own should seem to incite us to the Undertaking: For such a Chiding as this would Page  48 not pass for an Effect of Kindness, but of Passion, and looks more like a Complaint, than an Admo∣nition: For the latter has always something in it that sounds kind, and yet awful, whereas the other betrays only a selfish and narrow Disposition. And therefore we usually honour and revere our Monitor, but contemn and recriminate upon a querulous Accuser. As Agamemnon could by no means digest the moderate Censures of Achilles, yet bore well enough with the severe Reprimands of Ʋlysses:

Being satisfied of his Wisdom, and good Intenti∣ons; for he rated him purely upon the account of the Publick, the other upon his own. And A∣chilles himself, though of a rough and untractable Disposition, and ready enough to find Faults where there were none; yet heard Patroclus pati∣ently when he ranted him thus: For as Hyperides the Orator desired the Athenians to consider not only the Sharpness of his Reflecti∣ons, but his great Reasons for them: so the Re∣proofs of a Friend, proceeding from a sincere and disinteressed Affection, create all Veneration and Confusion in the Criminal to whom they are ad∣dressed; who, if he once perceive that his Friend, waving all Offences against himself, chides him Page  49 purely for those committed against others, can never hold out against the Force of so powerful a Rebuke, for the sweet and obliging Temper of his Monitor gives a keener Edge to his Ad∣monitions; and therefore it has been wisely said, that especially in Heats and Differences with our Friends we ought to have a peculiar regard to their Honour and Interest. Nor is it a less Ar∣gument of Friendship, for a Man who is said aside, and out of Favour himself, to turn Ad∣vocate in behalf of another, equally despised and neglected. As Plato, being in Disgrace with Dio∣nysius, beg'd Audience of him; which he readily granting, in expectation of being entertained with an Account of his Grievances; Plato ad∣dress'd himself to him after this manner: Sir said he, if you were inform'd there were a certain Ruffian come over into your Island of Sicily, with design to attempt upon your Majesties Person, but, for want of an Opportunity, could not execute the Villany, would you suffer him to go off unpunished? No, by no means, Plato replied, the King, for we ought not only to detest, and revenge the Overt-Acts, but the malicious Intentions of our Enemies. Well then, on the other hand said Plato, If there should come a Person to Court, out of pure Kindness and Ambition to serve your Majesty, and you would not give him an Opportunity of expressing it, were it reasonable to dismiss him with Scorn and Disrespect? Whom do you mean, said Dionysius? why Aeschines, replied Plato, as honest and excellent a Person as any in the School of So∣crates, and of a very edifying Conversation; who having exposed himself to the Difficulties of a tedious Voyage, that he might enjoy the happi∣ness of a Philosophical Converse with your Ma∣jesty, has met with nothing but Contempt in Page  50 return to the Kindness be intended. Which friendly and generous Temper of Mind so strangely affected Dionysius, that he hug'd and embraced Plato, and treated Aeschines with a great deal of Honour and Magnificence.

*In the next place, let us free our Discourse from all contumelious Language, all Laughter, Monkery, and Scurrility, which spoil the relish of our Reprehensions. For, as a Chyrurgion makes an Incision in the Flesh, he uses decent Neatness and Dexterity in the Operation, without the affected and superfluous Gesticulations of a Quack, or Mountebank: So the lancing the Sores of a Friend may admit indeed of a little Humour and Urbanity, but that so qualified, that it spoil not the Seriousness and Gravity re∣quisite to the Work. For boldness, Insolence and ill Language destroy its Force and Efficacy. And therefore the Fidler reparteed handsomely enough upon Philip, when he undertook to dis∣pute with him about the touch upon his Instru∣ment: God forbid that your Majesty should be so un∣happy as to understand a Fiddle better then I do. But Epicarmus was too blunt upon Hierom, who in∣viting him to Supper a little after he had put some of his Acquaintance to death, replied; Ay, but you could not invite me the other day to the Sacri∣fice of my Friends. And so was Antiphon too rude in his Reflection upon Dionysius, who on occasion of a Discourse about the best sort of Brass, told him that was the best in his Opinion of which the Athenians made the Statues of Hermodius and Aristogeiton. For these scurrilous abusive Jests are most certainly disagreable; and pain to no purpose, being but the Product of an intempe∣rate Wit, and which only betray the Enmity and Page  51 ill-Nature of him who takes the liberty to use them, which whosoever allows himself in, does but wantonly sport about the Brink of that Pit, which one day will swallow him up and ruine him. For Antiphon was afterward executed un∣der Dionysius: and Timagines was in disgrace with Augustus Caesar, not for any extravagant Freedom in his Discourse, but only because he took up a foolish Custom of repeating these Verses at every Entertainment and Walk where the Emperor de∣sired his Company;

Alledging the Pleasantness of his Humour, as the Cause of his Favour at Court.

Thus you shall meet with several smart and satyrical Reflections in a Comedy, but the mix∣ture of Jest and Fool in the Play, like ill Sauce to good Meat, abates their Poinancy, and •enders them insignificant. So that upon the whole, the Poet acquires only the Character of a Sawcy and foul-mouth'd Buffoon, and the Auditors loose that Advantage, which they might otherwise reap from Remarques of that Nature.

We may do well therefore to reserve our Jollity and Mirth for more suitable Occasions; but we must by all means be serious and candid in our Admonitions; which, if we be upon im∣portant Points, must be so animated with our Gestures, Passion, and Eagerness of Voice, as to give them Weight and Credit,* and to awaken a tender Concern in the Persons to whom they are address'd.

We are again to time our Reproofs as seasona∣bly as we can; for a Mistake in the Opportuni∣ties Page  52 as 'tis of ill Consequence in all other things, so peculiarly in our Reprehensions. And there∣fore I presume 'tis manifest, we ought not to fall foul upon Men in their Drink. For first, he who broaches any sowr disagreeable Discourse amidst the Pleasantry and good Humor of Friends, casts a Cloud over the Serenity of the Company, and acts counter to the Lydian God, who as Pindar words it, unites the Band of all our Cares. Besides, that such unseasonable Re∣monstrances are not without Danger: for Wine is apt to warm Men into Passion, and make them quarrel at the Freedom you take; and in short, 'tis no Argument of any brave and gene∣rous, but rather of an unmanly Temper, not to dare to speak ones Sense when Sober, but drunk, and grumble like a cowardly Cur at Table. And therefore we need not enlarge any further upon this Topick. But because several Persons neither will, nor dare take their Friends to task, whilst they thrive and flourish in the World, looking upon Prosperity as a State above the reach of a Rebuke; but pour forth their Invectives like a River that has over-flown its Banks, insulting and trampling upon them, when Fortune has already laid them at their Feet, out of a sort of Satis∣faction to see their former State and Grandure reduc'd to the same level of fortune with them∣selves: it may not be improper to discourse a little upon this Argument, and make some reply to that Question of Euripides;

I answer, to lower those lofty and extravagant Thoughts, which are usually incident to that Page  53 Condition: for Wisdom, in Conjunction with Prosperity, is a rare Talent, and the lot of but few. Therefore most Men stand in need of a borrow'd Prudence; to depress the Tumours that attend an exuberant Felicity; but when the turn of Fortune it self has abated the swelling, a Man's very Circumstances are sufficient of themselves to read him a Lecture of Repentance; so that all other grave and austere Correptions are then superfluous and impertinent; and 'tis, on the con∣trary, more proper in such Traverses of Fortune, to enjoy the Company of a compassionate Friend, who will administer some Comfort to the afflicted, and buoy him up under the Pressure of his Affairs: As Xenophon relates that the Presence of Cleachus, a Person of a courteous and obliging Aspect, gave new Life and Courage to his Souldiers in in the Heat of a Battel, or any other difficult Rencounter. But he who chides and upbraids a Man in distress, like him who applies a Medicine for clearing the Sight to a distemper'd and inflamed Eye, neither works a Cure, nor allays the Pain, but only adds Anger to his Sor∣rows, and exasperates the Patient. A Man in Health indeed will digest a friendly Lecture for his Wenching, Dringing, Idleness, continual Recreations and Bathing, unseasonable Eating, &c. But for a sick Man to be told, that all this comes of his Intemperance, Voluptuousness, High-feed∣ing, Whoring, &c. is utterly insupportable, and worse than the Disease it self. O impertinent Man! will such an one say, the Physicians pre∣scribe me Castor and Scammony, and I am just a making my last Will and Testament, and do you lie railing and preaching to me Lectures of Philosophy? And thus Men in Adversity stand Page  54 more in need of our Humanity and Relief, than of sharp and sententious Reprimands: for neither will a Nurse immediately scold at her Child that is faln, but first help him up, wash him and put him in order again, and then chide and whip him. They tell us a Story to this purpose of Demetrius Phalereus, that when he dwelt an Ex∣ile at Thebes, in mean beggarly Circumstances, he was once extreamly concern'd to observe the Philosopher Crates making towards him, expecting to be treated by him with all the roughness of a Cynical Behaviour: But when Crates had ad∣dressed himself courteously to him, and discoursed him upon the Point of Exile, endeavouring to convince him that it had nothing miserable or uneasy in it, but on the contrary, rather rescued him from the nice and hazardous Management of Publick Affairs; advising him withal to repose his Confidence in himself, and his own Conscience: Demetrius was so taken and encouraged by his Dis∣course, that he is reported to have said to his Friends, Cursed be those Employs which robb'd me so long of the Acquaintance of such an excellent Person. For, And this is the way of generous and ingenious Friends. But they who servilely admire you in Prosperity, like old Ruptures, Spasms and Cramps, which, as Demosthenes speaks, ache and pain us most, and when some fresh Misfortune has befallen the Body, stick close to you in the Revolution of your Fortune, and rejoyce and enjoy the Change: Whereas, if a Man must needs have a Remembrancer of a Calamity which Page  55 his own Indiscretion hath pull'd upon him, 'tis enough you put him in mind that he ows it not to your Advice, for you often disswaded him from the Undertaking.

Well then, you'll say when is a keen Repre∣hension allowable? and when may we chide a Friend severely indeed? I answer; When some important Occasion requires it: as the stopping him in the Gareer of his Voluptuousness, Anger, or Insolence; the repressing his Covetous Hu∣mor, or any other foolish Habit. Thus dealt Solon with Croesus, puff'd up and debauch▪d with uncertain Greatness of his Fortune, when he bad him look to the End. Thus Socrates humbled Alcibiades, forc'd him into unfeigned Tears, and turn'd his Heart, when he argued the Case with him. Such, again, were the Remonstrances and Admonitions of Cyrus to Cyaxares, and of Plato to Dion, who, when the Lustre and Greatness of his Atchievements had fixed all Mens Eys upon him, wish'd him to beware of Arrogance and Self-conceit, as the readiest way to make all Men a∣bandon him. And Speucippus wrote to him, Not to pride himself in the little Applauses of Women and Children, but to take care to adorn Sicily with Religion, Justice and wholsom Laws, that he might render it a great and illustrious Aca∣demy. So did not Euclus and Eulaeus, two of Perseus's Favourites, who fawn'd upon, and com∣plied with him, as obsequiously as any Courtier of them all, during the Success of his Arms; but after his Defeat at Pydna by the Romans, in∣veigh'd bitterly against him, reminding him of his past Faults, his former Fast and Arrogance, till the Man out of meer Anger and Vexa∣tion, stab'd them both in the place. And so Page  56 much concerning the timing of our Reproofs in general.

*Now there are several other accidental Occasi∣ons administred by our Friends themselves, which a Person heartily sollicitous for their Interest, will lay hold of: As some have taken an opportunity of censuring them freely, from a Question they have asked, from the relation of a Story, or the Praise or Dispraise of the same Actions in other Men, which they themselves have com∣mitted.

Thus they tell us, Demaratus the Corinthian com∣ing into Macedonia, when Philip, and his Queen and Son were at Odds; and being, after a graci∣ous Reception, ask'd by the King, What good Understanding was among the Graecians? he re∣plied, as being an old Friend and Acquaintance of his, Ay, by all means, Sir, it highly becomes your Majesty, to enquire about the Concord betwixt the Athenians and Peloponesians, who suffer your own Family to be the Scene of so much Discord and Conten∣tion. And as pert, was that of Diogenes, who, entring Philip's Camp, as he was going to make War upon the Grecians, was seiz'd upon and brought before the King, who not knowing him, ask'd him, If he was a Spie? Why yes truly, said he, I am a Spie upon your Folly and Imprudence, who, without any necessity upon you, are come hither to expose your Kingdoms, and your Life to the uncer∣tain Decision of the Cast of a Dye. Though this may perhaps seem a little too biting and Satyri∣cal.

Another seasonable Opportunity of reproving your Friend for his Vices,* is, when some third Person has already mortified him upon the same account: For a courteous and obliging Man will Page  57 dexterously silence his Accuser, and then take him privately to task himself, advising him, if for no other reason, yet to abate the Insolence of his Enemies, to manage himself more prudently for the future: For how could they open their Mouths against you, what could they have to reproach you with, if you would but reform such and such Vices, which render you obnoxious to their Censure? And by this means the Offence that was given, lies at his door who roughly upbraided him, whilst the Advantage he reaps, is attributed to the Person who candid∣ly advis'd him. But there are some who have got yet a genteeler way of Chiding, and that is, of chastising others for Faults, which they know their Friends really stand guilty of: As my Master Amonius, perceiving once at his After∣noon-Lecture, that some of his Scholars had di∣ned more plentifully than became the Modera∣tion of Students, immediately commanded one of his Freemen to take his own Son, and whip him; For what, says he, the Youngster, forsooth must needs have Vinegar Sawce to his Meat; and with that, casting his Eye upon us, gave us to under∣stand, that we likewise were concerned in the Reprehension.

Again; We must be cautious how we re∣buke a Friend in Company,* always remembring the Repartee made upon Plato on that account: For Socrates having fal'n one day very severely upon an Acquantance of his at Table, Plato could not forbear to take him up, saying, Had it not been more proper, Sir, to have spoke these things in private? To whom Socrates instantly replied, And had it not been more proper for you to have told me so in pri∣vate too? And they say Pithagoras one time ranted a Friend of his so terribly before Company, that Page  58 the poor young Man went and hang'd himself; from which time the Philosopher would never chide any Man in the presence of another. For the Discovery and cure of a Vice, like that of a scan∣dalous Disease, ought to be in secret, and not like a publick Show transacted upon a Theater; for 'tis no way the part of a Friend, but a meer Cheat and Trick, for one Man to recommend himself to the Standers-by, and seek for Reputation from the Failures of another; like Mountebank-Chi∣rurgions, who perform their Operations on a Stage, to gain the greater Practice. But besides the Disgrace that attends a Reproof of this Na∣ture (a thing that will never work any Cure) we are likewise to consider, that Vice is Naturally ob∣stinate, and loves to dispute its Ground: For what Euripides says, is not only true of Love,

but of any other Imperfection. If you lay a Man open publickly for it, and tell all, you are so far from reforming him, that you force him to brave it out. And therefore as Plato advises, that old Men, who would be revered of the younger Fry, must learn to revere them first: so certainly mo∣destly to reprimand, is the way to meet with a modest Return. For he who warily attacks the Criminal, works upon his good Nature by his own, and so insensibly undermines his Vices. And therefore 'twould be much more proper to observe the Rule in Homer; Page  59 But above all, we ought not to discover the Im∣perfections of a Husband before his Wife, nor of a Father before his Children, nor of a Lover in company of his Mistress, nor of Masters in presence of their Scholars, or the like; for it touches a Man to the quick, to be rebuked before those who he desires should think honourably of him. And I verily believe, that 'twas not so much the Heat of the Wine, as the Sting of too publick a Reprehension, that enraged Alexander against Clitus. And Aristomenes, Ptolemy's Preceptor, lost himself by awaking the King, drop'd asleep one time at an Audience of Foreign Embassadors; for the Court-Parasites immediately took this occasion to express their pretendedly deep resentments of the Disgrace done his Majesty, suggesting, that if indeed the Cares of the Government had brought a little unseasonable Drowsiness upon him, he might have been told of it in private, but should not have had rude hands laid upon his Person before so great an Assembly: Which so affected the King, that he presently sent the poor Man a Draught of Poison, and made him drink it up. And Aristophanes says, Cleon blamed him for railing at Athens before Strangers, whereby he incensed the Athenians against him. And there∣fore they who aim at the Interest and Reforma∣tion of their Friends, rather then Ostentation and Popularity, ought, amongst other things,* to beware of exposing them too publickly.

Again; What Thucidides makes the Corinthians say of themselves, That they were Persons every way qualified for the Reprehension of other Men, ought to be the Character of every one who sets up for a Moni∣tor. For as Lysander reply'd upon a certain Megarian, who in a Council of Allies and Confederates had Page  60 spoke boldly for the Liberties of Greece; This Stile of yours, Sir, would have better become some Pab•ick State, than a private Person. So he who takes up∣on him the Liberty of a Censor, must be a Man of a regular Conversation himself; one like Plato, whose Life was a continued Lecture to Speusippus; or Xenocrates, who casting his Eye one time upon the dissolute Polemon, at a Disputation, reformed him with the very Awfulness of his Looks. Whereas the Remonstrance of a lewd whiffling Fellow will certainly meet with no better Enter∣tainment, than that of the old proverbial Re∣partee,

But because several accidental Emergencies in Conversation will now and then invite a Man,* though bad enough himself, to correct others, the most genteel and dextrous way of doing it, will be to involve our selves in the same Guilt with those we reprehend; as in this passage of Homer,

And in this other, Thus Socrates would handsomly twit the young Men with their ignorance, by professing his own, pretending for his part he had need with he n to study Morality, and make more accurate En∣quiries into the Truth of Things. For a Con∣fession Page  61 of the same Guilt, and a seeming Endea∣vour to reform our selves, as well as our Friends, gives credit to the Reprimand, and recommends it to their Affections: But he who gravely magni∣fies himself, whilst he imperiously detracts from others, as being a Man, forsooth, of no Imper∣fections, unless his Age, or a celebrated Reputa∣tion indeed command our Attention, is only im∣pertinent, and troublesom to no purpose. And therefore 'twas not without reason, that Phaenix, checking Achilles for his imtemperate Anger, con∣fess'd his own Unhappiness in that Particular, how he had like once to have slain his own Fa∣ther through a transport of Passion, had not the scandalous Name of Paracide held his hands; that the Heroe might not imagine he took that liberty with him, because he had never offended in the like kind himself. For such inoffensive Reproofs leave a deeper impress behind them, when they seem the Result of Compassion, ra∣ther than Contempt.

But because a Mind subject to Disorders of Pas∣sion,* like an inflamed Eye that cannot bear a great and glaring Light, is impatient of a Rebuke with∣out some temperament to qualify and allay its Poi∣nancy; therefore the best Remedy in this Case will be to dash it with a little Praise. For a mixture of both together not only abates and takes off from that Roughness and Command, which a blunt Re∣prehension seems to carry along with it, but raises in a Man a generous Emulation of himself, whilst the remembrance of his past Vertues shames him out of his present Vices, and makes him propose his former Actions for his future Example. But if you compare him with other Men, as with Fellow-Citizens, his Contemporaries, or Rela∣tions, Page  62 then Vice, which loves to dispute the Victory renders him uneasy and impatient under the Com∣parison, and will be apt to make him grumble, and, in an Huff, bid you be gone then, to his Betters, and not trouble him any longer. And there we ought to fall upon other Mens Com∣mendations, before him whom we take the liber∣ty to rebuke, unless indeed they be his Parents; as Agamemnon in Homer:

And Ʋlysses, in the Tragedy called the Scyris, speaking to Achilles:

*'Tis in the next place very improper for a Man, immediately to retort or recriminate upon his Mo∣nitor; for this is the way only to occasion Heats and Animosities betwixt them, and will rather speak him impatient of any Reproof at all, than desirous to compensate the Kindness of one with another: And therefore 'tis better to take his Chid∣ing patiently for the present, and if he chance af∣terwards to commit a Fault worth your remarking upon, you have then an opportunity of repaying him in his own Coin: For being reminded, without the least intimation of a former Pique or Dissatisfaction, that he himself did not use to overlook the Slips of his Friend, he will re∣ceive the Remonstrance favourably at your hands, as being the Return of Kindness, rather than of Anger and Resentment.

Page  63

Moreover, as Thucidides says,* that he is doubt∣less a wise Man, and well advised, who will not venture to incur the Odium and Displeasure of any one, except for Matters of the highest Con∣cernment: So when we do undertake the un∣grateful Office of Censor, it ought to be only up∣on weighty and important Occasions. For he who is peevish and angry at every Body, and upon every trivial Fault, acting rather with the imperious Pedantry of a Schoolmaster, than the Discretion of a Friend, blunts the edg of his Reprehensions in Matters of an higher Nature, by squandring, like an unskilful Physitian, that keen and bitter, but necessary and sovereign Remedy of his Reproofs, upon many and sleight Distem∣pers, that require so exquisite a Cure. And there∣fore a wise Man will industriously avoid the Cha∣racter of being a Person who is always chiding, and delights in finding Faults. Besides that, who∣soever is of that little Humour, to animadvert upon every trifling Picadillo, only affords his Friend a fairer occasion of being even with him one time or another, for his grosser Immoralities: As Philotimus the Physician, visiting a Patient of his, who being troubled with an Inflammation in his Liver, shewed him his sore Finger, told him, his Distemper lay not at the root of his Nail. In like manner we may take occasion now and then to reply upon a Man, who carps at Trifles in a∣nother, his Diversions, Pleasantries, or a Glass of Wine; Let the Gentleman rather, Sir, turn off his Whore, leave off his Dicing, &c. for other∣wise he's an admirable Person. For he who is dispens'd with in smaller Matters, more willing∣ly gives his Friend the liberty of reprimanding him for greater. But there is neither Child, nor Page  64 Brother, nor Servant himself, able to endure a Man of a busie inquisitive Humour, who brawls perpetually, and is sowr and unpleasant upon eve∣ry inconsiderable occasion.

*But since a weak and foolish Friend, as Euri∣pides says of Old Age, has its strong, as well as feeble part, we ought to observe both, and chearfully extol the one, before we fall foul up∣on the other. For as we first soften Iron in the Fire, and then dip it into Water, to harden it in a due Consistence: So after we have warm'd and moli∣fied our Friend by a just Commendation of his Vertues, we may then safely temper him with a moderate Reprehension of his Vices; we may then say, Are these Actions comparable to the other? don't you perceive the Advantages of a vertuous Life? This is what we who are your Friends require of you: These are properly your own Actions for which Nature design'd you; but for the other,

For as a Prudent Physician had rather recover his Patient with Sleep, and good Diet, than with Castor and Scammony: So a candid Friend, a a good Father, or Schoolmaster, will rather chuse to reform Mens Manners by Commenda∣tions, than Reproofs. For nothing in the World renders our Corruptions so inoffensive, and withal so useful, as to address our selves to the Delinquent in a kind, affectionate manner: And therefore we ought not to deal roughly with him upon his denial of the Matter of Fact, nor hinder him from making his just Vindication; but we should Page  65 rather handsomly help him out in his Apology, and mollifie the Matter: As Hector to his Brother Paris:

Suggesting, that he did not quit the Field, in his Encounter with Menelaus, out of Cowardise, but meer Anger and Indignation.

And Nestor speaks thus to Agamemnon;

For you did such a thing through Ignorance or Inadvertency, is, in my Opinion, a much more genteel Expression, than bluntly to say, You have dealt unjustly, or acted basely by me: And to advise a Man not to quarrel with his Brother, is more Civil, than to say, Don't you envy and malign him: And keep not Company with that Woman who debauches you, is softer Language than, Don't you debauch her.

And thus you see with what Caution and Mo∣deration we must reprehend our Friends,* in re∣claiming them from Vices to which they are al∣ready subjected; whilst the Prevention of them doth require a clear contrary Method: For when we are to divert them from the Commission of a Crime, or to check a violent and headstrong Passion, or to push on and excite a phlegmatick lazy Humor to great Things, we may then as∣cribe their Failings to as dishonorable Causes as we please.

Thus Ʋlysses, when he would awaken the Cou∣rage of Achilles, in one of Sophocles's Tragedies, tells him, That 'twas not the Business of a Sup∣per, Page  66 that put him in such a Fret, as he pretended, but because he was now arrived within sight of the Walls of Troy. And when Achilles, in a great Chafe at the Affront, swore he would sail back again with his Squadron, and leave him to him∣self, Ʋlysses came upon him again with this Re∣joynder:

And thus, by representing to the Bold and Va∣liant, the danger of being reputed a Coward; the Temperate and Sober, a Debauchee; and the Liberal and Magnificent, Stingie and Sordid: we spur them on to brave Actions, and divert them from base and ignominious.

Indeed when a t•ing is once done, and past Remedy, we ought to qualifie and attemperate our Reproofs, and commiserate, rather than re∣primand. But if it be a Business of pure preven∣tion, of stopping a Friend in the Career of his Irregularities, our Applications must be vehement, inexorable, and indefatigable: For this is the proper Season for a Man to shew himself a true Monitor, and a Friend indeed; for we see that even Enemies reprove each other for Faults already committed. As Diogenes said pertinently enough to this purpose, That he who would act wisely, ought to be surrounded either with good Friends, or Flagrant Enemies; for the one always teach us to do well, and the other as constantly accuse us if we do ill.

But certainly 'tis much more eligible to forbear the Commission of a Fault, by hearkning to the good Advice of our Friends, than afterwards to Page  67 repent of it, by reason of the Obloquy of our Enemies: And therefore, if for no other Reason, we ought to apply our Reprehensions with a great deal of Art and Dexterity, because they are the most Sovereign Physick that a Friend can prescribe, and which not only require a due Mixture of Ingredients in the Preparation of them, but a seasonable Juncture for the Patient to take them in.

But because, as it has been before observed, Reproofs usually carry something of Trouble and Vexation along with them, we must imitate skil∣ful Physicians, who, when they •ave made an Incision in the Flesh, leave it not open to the Smart and Torment that attends it, but chafe and foment it to asswage the Pain: So he who would admonish dextrously, must not immediately give a Man over to the Sting and Anguish of his Re∣prehensions, but endeavour to Skin over the Sore with a more mild and diverting Converse; like Stone Cutters, who, when they have made a Fracture in their Statues, polish and brighten them afterwards: But if we leave them in Pain with their Wounds and Resentments, and, as it were, the Marks of our Reproofs yet green upon them, they will hardly be brought to admit of any Leni∣tive we shall offer for the future. And therefore they who will take upon them to admonish their Friends, ought especially to observe this main Point, Not to leave them immediately upon it, nor abruptly break off the Conference with dis∣obliging and bitter Expressions.