Plutarch's morals. Part 2. translated from the Greek by several hands.

Question IV. What manner of Man should a Steward of a Feast be?

CRato my Son-in-law, and Theon my Ac∣quaintance, at a certain Banquet, where the Glasses had gone round freely, and a little Stir rose, but was suddenly appeased; began to discourse of the Office of the Steward of a Feast; declaring that it was my Duty to wear the Chaplet, assert the decaying Priviledge, and restore that Office which should take care for the Decency and good Order of the Banquet: This Proposal pleas'd every one, and they were all an end beg∣ging me to do it. Well then, said I, since you will have it so, I make my self Steward and Di∣rector of you all, and command the rest to

drink every one what he will; but Crato and Theon, the first Proposors and Authors of this Decree, I injoyn to declare in short, what Qua∣lifications fit a Man for this Office; what he should principally aim at, and how behave him∣self towards those under his Command: This is the Subject, and let them agree among them∣selves, which Head each shall manage: They made some slight Excuse at first, but the whole Company urging them to obey, Crato began thus, A Captain of a Watch (as Plato says) ought to be most watchful and diligent himself; and the Director of merry Companions ought to be the best; and such a one he is that will not be easily overtaken, or apt to refuse a Glass; but as Cyrus in his Epistle to the Spartans, says, that in many other things he was more fit than his Brother to be a King; and chiefly, because he could bear abundance of Wine: For one that is drunk must have an ill Carriage, and be apt to affront; and he that is perfectly sober, must be unpleasant, and fitter to be a Governour of a School than of a Feast: Pericles, as often as he was chosen General, when he put on his Coat, us'd to say to himself, as 'twere to refresh his Memory, Take heed Pericles, thou dost govern Free∣men, thou dost govern Athenians: So let our Di∣rector say privately to himself, Thou art a Go∣vernour over Friends; that he might remember neither to suffer them to be debauch'd, or stint their Mirth: Besides, he ought to have some Skill in the serious Studies of the Guests, and not be altogether ignorant of Mirth and Humor; yet I would have him (as pleasant Wine ought to be) a little severe and rough, for the Liquor will soften and smooth him, and make his Tem∣per

pleasant and agreeable: For as Xenophon says, That Clearchus his rustick and morose Humor in a Battle, by reason of his Bravery and Heat, seem'd pleasant and surprizing; thus one that is not of a very sour Nature, but grave and severe, being softned by a chirping Cup, becomes more plea∣sant and complaisant; but chiefly he should be acquainted with every one of the Guests Hu∣mors, what alteration the Liquor makes in him, what Passion he is most subject to, and what quantity he can bear; for 'tis not to be suppos'd the different sorts of Water bear various Propor∣tions to different sorts of Wine (which Kings Cup-bearers understanding, sometimes pour in more, sometimes less) and that Man hath no such relation to them; this our Director ought to know, and knowing, punctually observe; so that like a good Musician, screwing up one, and letting down another, he might make between these different Natures, a pleasing Harmony and Agreement; so that he should not proportion his Wine by measure, but give every one what was proper and agreeable, according to the present Circumstances of Time, and strength of Body: But if this is too difficult a Task, yet 'tis neces∣sary that a Steward should know the common Accidents of Age and Nature; such as these, that an old Man will be sooner overtaken than a Youth, one that leaps about, or talks, than he that is silent or sits still; the Thoughtful and Melancholly, than the Chearful and Brisk.

And he that understands these things is much more able to preserve Quietness and Order, than one that is perfectly ignorant and unskilful: Be∣sides, I think none will doubt but that the Stew∣ard ought to be a Friend, and have no Pique at

any of the Guests, for otherwise in his Injuncti∣ons he will be intolerable, in his Distributions un∣equal, in his Jests apt to scoff and give off••nce; such a Figure, Theo, as out of Wax, hath my Discourse fram'd for the Steward of a Feast; and now I deliver him to you; and Theo reply'd, He's welcome, a very well shap'd Gentleman, and fitted for the Office; but whether I shall not spoil him in my particular Application, I can∣not tell: In my Opinion he seems such a one as will keep an Entertainment to its primitive Insti∣tution, and not suffer it to be chang'd, some∣times into a Mooting-Hall, sometimes a School of Rhetorick, now and then a Diceing-room, a Play∣house, or a Stage; for don't you observe some making fine Orations, and putting Cases at a Supper? Others declaiming, or reading some of their own Compositions, and others proposing Prizes to Dancers and Mimicks. Alcibiades and Theodorus turn'd Polition's Banquet into a Tem∣ple, representing there the sacred Procession and Mysteries of Ceres; now such things as these in my Opinion ought not to be suffered by a Stew∣ard, but he must permit such Discourse only, such Shows, such Merriment as promote the par∣ticular End and Design of such Entertainments; and that is, by pleasant Conversation, either to beget or maintain Friendship and Good-will a∣mong the Guests; for an Entertainment is only an Introduction to Friendship by a Glass of Wine, and ends in Good-will.

But now because things pure and unmixt are usually surfeiting and odious, and the very Mix∣ture it self, unless the Simples be well proporti∣oned, and opportunely put together; though it takes off the surfeiting Quality, yet spoils the

sweetness and goodness of the Composition; 'tis evident that there ought to be a Director who might take care that the Mirth and Jollity of the Guests be exactly and opportunely temper'd. 'Tis a common saying, That a Voyage near the Land, and a Walk near the Sea, is the best Recrea∣tion: Thus our Steward should place Seriousness and Gravity next Jollity and Humor, that when they are merry they should be on the very Bor∣ders of Gravity it self; and when grave and se∣rious, they might be refresh'd as Sea-sick Per∣sons, having an easie and short Prospect to the Mirth and Jollity that is near; for Mirth may be exceeding useful, and make our grave Dis∣courses smooth and pleasant,

As near the Bramble oft the Lilly grows, And neighbouring Rue commends the blushing Rose.

But vain and empty Humors that wantonly break in upon our Feasts, are to be expelled, lest Scoffing and Affronts creep in under them, lest in their Questions or Commands they grow scur∣rilous, and abuse; as for instance, by injoyning Stutterers to sing, Bald-pates to comb their Heads, or a Cripple to rise and dance; as the Compa∣ny abus'd Agapestor the Academick, one of whose Legs was lame and wither'd, when in a ridicu∣ling Frolick they ordain'd, that each Man should stand upon his Right-leg and take off his Glass, or pay a Shilling; and he, when it was his turn to command, enjoyn'd the Company to follow his Example, and drink as he did, and having a narrow earthen Pitcher brought in, he put his wither'd Leg into it, and drank his Glass, and every one in the Company, after a fruitless en∣deavor

to imitate, paid his Shilling; 'twas a good Humor of Agapestor's, and thus every little merry Abuse must be as merrily revenged: Be∣sides, he must give such Commands as will both please and profit, putting such as are familiar and easie to the Person, and when perform'd, will be for his Credit and Reputation: a Songster must be enjoyned to sing, an Orator to Speak, a Phi∣losopher to solve a Problem, and a Poet to make a Song; for every one very readily and willing∣ly undertakes that

In which he may out-do himself.

An Assyrian King by publick Proclamation, pro∣mis'd a Reward to him that would find out any new sort of Luxury and Pleasure: And let the Governor, the King of an Entertainment, pro∣pose some pleasant Reward for any one that in∣troduceth inoffensive Merriment, profitable De∣light and Laughter, not such as attends Scoffs and abusive Jests, but Kindness, pleasant Humor, and Good-will, for these Matters not being well lookt after and observ'd, spoil and ruine most of our Entertainments: 'Tis the Office of a pru∣dent Man to hinder all sort of Anger and Con∣tention; In the Exchange, that which springs from Covetousness; in the Fencing and Wrest∣ling Schools from Emulation; in Offices and State Affairs from Ambition; and in a Feast and Entertainment from Pleasantness and Joque.