The beau's academy, or, The modern and genteel way of wooing and complementing after the most courtly manner in which is drawn to the life, the deportment of most accomplished lovers, the mode of their courtly entertainments, the charms of their persuasive language in their addresses or more secret dispatches, to which are added poems, songs, letters of love and others : proverbs, riddles, jests, posies, devices, with variety of pastimes and diversions as cross-purposes, the lovers alphabet &c. also a dictionary for making rhimes, four hundred and fifty delightful questions with their several answers together with a new invented art of logick : so plain and easie that the meanest capacity may in a short time attain to a perfection of arguing and disputing.

Upon the fatal disaster that befell the Gallants upon May-day last in Hide-Park.

THe last sad May-day know ye not? It was a fatal day, God wot, Which gay new Clothes did all bespot With mire and dirt. Much might be said of other days first, For which that Year ought to be curst, That such inhumane Traitors nurst To do men hurt. Sad to the Romans was that day When they from Hannibal ran away, Losing their gold Rings in the fray, He did so rout 'em. Was not dark Monday sad d'ye think, When Phoebus look'd as black as ink, 'Twas all one whether men did wink Or stare about 'em. That day had made your hearts to ake, If Faux's plot had hap'd to take, Of which the Crums of Comfort make A large recital. And that sad day my heart doth nettle When Fire on London-bridge did settle, And Thames boyl'd under like a kettle: Men read at Whitehall. By the vast Flame: Though at this hour, I blame not fire, but a great shower, Which Heaven did on clean linen powr, And Blades a horse-back. For all that are but worth a groat, On May-day will in fine clothes show't, Some borrow a Belt, and some a loose coat, That money in purse lack. First the clear Sun-shine did invite The Lord, the Lady, and the Knight, Who all in Satins richly dight, Did sit i'th boot.

The Race-nags follow'd more then ten, Upon their backs sate Gentlemen, They never were so wash'd as then From head to foot. In sutes, from France, made a la mode, Upon their Barbaries they rode; Oh had their money been bestow'd In pious uses: T'would ha' built an Hospital in the Strand, For Gentlemen that sell their Land, Or a Poet a week in Sack maintain'd, With all his Muses. To copy out these Fashions then, For Male and Female Citizen, The Taylor came, as fine as when He went to woe, Next came those pillars of the Nation, Those polishers of Education, Hight men oth' Kit, all in the fashion From top to toe. Phoebus withdrew his beams to see Such a deal of bravery, And scorning thus outvied to be By low mortality: He put on's cap, cryes bonas noches, Then pist, and flung it all ith' Coaches; Quoth he, I'le meet with these Cocaloches For all their great quality: The Barber, Taylor, and Gentleman eke, They rid each one a tree to seek; They were so sad they could not speak, But sigh'd at each other. They lookt on the ground with great regret, They lookt on the sky, and cry'd not yet! Then for being born, their stockins to wet, Each curses his mother. But when their hats began to drip, Then desperation made them weep, And so they put on with spur and whip To London: But, Oh the saddle of velvet blue,

And stockins of most glorious hew, They now were not fit for the stall of a Jew: Some men were undone, Then came another in a sad case, With a handful of dirt dasht in his face, Which he wip'd with his band of Flanders lace, Who could him blame, His Feather, that so gay of late Adorn'd his head, lay now so flat, You'ld think it were crept into his hat For very shame. But as they pass'd quite through the street, The Alley-women glad to see't, From stalls and cellars did them greet With many a flout. Most patiently they pass'd along, They took no notice who did'm wrong: But I must make an end of my Song. The candle's out.