The narrow path of divine truth described from living practice and experience of its three great steps, viz Purgation, illumination & union according to the testimony of the holy scriptures; as also of Thomas a Kempis, the German divinity, Thauler, and such like. Or the sayings of Matthew Weyer reduced into order in three books by J. Spee. Unto which are subjoyned his practical epistles, done above 120 years since in the Dutch, and after the author's death, printed in the German language at Frankfort 1579. And in Latin at Amsterdam 1658. and now in English.

CHAP. XXXIV.

THis year proved more difficult, or hard to me, then it was ever before in all my life, and yet I did most ac∣curately weigh, and ponder on that same time. For by how much the more sub∣lime, any one ascendeth in affliction, by so much the more accurately doth he weigh and count his time, and it proves thereby more profitable to him. All the foregoing time of mine, which I had spent before this year, vanished away, and came to nothing, even as this my present time also shall vapour away into nothing: because my body is annihilated. I have no support, hence is it, that times becomes so tedious to me; but when time is spent in labour, it produceth no difficulty. But when I am deprived of all my strength, I can neither pray, nor desire, nor lift up one thought to God; Yea here I lye, and corrupt in body, mind, and spirit, as long as breath remaineth in me: Yea as to my understanding al∣so, and my reason, I am reduced to no∣thing.

As for my understanding, I know nothing of it, whither, viz. I have an understanding or not, for in this great gulfe of misery, all things are reduced to dust, and ashes. Here I lye, and am sen∣sible of nothing, but judgment, death, and condemnation. And when one said to him, is it so, that when thou art ac∣cused, presently judgment is at hand? he answered, Am I accused? (not as though I were so perfect, as that I could not be accused) but if it were possible for me to take up life in such a moment of time, as that accusation might assault me in, even in that very moment should I be blown into meer atoms. But I have not so much time left me, because as ma∣ny moments of my life as yet remain, so many judgments, and deaths do I suffer. I lye as it were in a thick dark cloud, and see nothing; oh how very small, weak, and dim is that poor ray of light, that is round about me! I cannot see far be∣fore me, yea neither doth my way, and path appear to my sight; yea I am lead on where no way is, and that which is life to another, that is death to me, and

contrarily, that which is anothers death is my life. Judgment is so sharp to me, as it is when one, not thinking any thing, layes his hand upon some place, and presently some body knocks him on the fingers. When any would reply upon him, that this case was a certain kind of preservation from God, because he laid his hand so faithfully upon thee: he still answered; True indeed this condition is the most safe before the eyes of God, but the most afflicted one in my sight. For if I should acknowledge this state to be safe, forthwith another judgment is to be undergone by me. For plainly, I am lead without knowledge, without being acquainted, or understanding the way. For he who hath experienced the thing its self, and he that hath been lead in this way, only notionally, are vastly differ∣ing, because true knowledge and under∣standing, is such a life, such a prop, that a man comes then only to know them when God withdraws them from him. Just as when one laboureth with great thirst, and sees a pot stand before him, yet for all that, his thirst cannot but afflict him

still: but then if there should come one who should take the pot quite away, then remaineth no hopes of ever attaining to drink thereof. All the Elect are brought unto God thorough affliction, but all do not tread this same path of the cross, by which I am to pass.