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Now Brush and Faggot fashionable grow, None the true joys of Wine without can know. But shun the Fire that lies in Tails of Wenches, Quench'd only by Apothecaries Drenches.
IN the beginning of this Month, there will be much talk, amongst the Citizens, of the foul Play in the Common-Hall,
and worse practice us'd elsewhere in the Election of a Mayor: Parties will spit their Venom at one another over their Coffee, with as much Indignation as a couple of Boar-Cats contend∣ing for a Mistress: The Sons of the Church establish'd will talk big, but never think of shutting the Stable Door till the Steed is stol'n; whilst the Pismines of Toleration will dispatch their work without noise, and never quarrell about the Egg till they have first secur'd it in their own Possession.
If it happens not to be fair Weather, we shall have Rain enough about the middle of this Month, to make any prudent Man think a Camlet-Cloak a much better Garment than a pink'd Doublet; and that 'tis better sitting still in a matted Chamber, than taking the Air upon the River of Thames, or walking thro' the middle of Old-street. Muffs will now be more fashionable than Cains; and a Man may dance thro' the Dirt much better in a double soal'd Shooe, than the thinnest Spa∣nish-Leather Pumps in Christendom.
The next remarkable Day in this Month is St. Luke's, upon which the honest Fraternity of House-Painters, in Pious Me∣mory of the Holy Evangelist, will as certainly be Drunk, as the best Liquor their Pockets can compass will be able to make 'em: There will be old drawing of Antick Heads, in Charcoal upon white Walls, when they are half Seas over; and old scoring of Circles, Semicircles, and straight Lines, with Chalk, in the Bar, if their Landlord takes not care to prevent 'em; for I find very few will take a Pencil between their Fingers, or thrust a Thumb into their Pallets, as long as either Money or Credit will give Colour to their Laziness.
On the 23d. begins Michaelmas-Term, upon which Day the Law and Equity resume the Scales of Justice into their hands, to weigh out to the Publick that address 'em, such a propor∣tion of Right as their Cause will bear, if they have but Money to pay those Fees necessary for the obtaining it; if not, they may sue in Forma Pauperis till they are as poor in Houshold∣stuff as Epictetus, who had nothing but an Earthen Lamp
for his Furniture; and except they meet with an honest Law∣yer, which is somewhat difficult to be found, they'll at last be as much the better, as if they had spent their time in so∣liciting a Courtier for a Place, without a Peny in their Pockets.
The 25th. of this Month will be a Day of great Jollity a∣mong the serviceable Fraternity of Shooemakers, in honour of the fam'd Memory of Crispin: More bak'd Legs of Beef, and boil'd Buttocks, will be devour'd by 'em about Noon, than Gammons of Bacon in a whole Easter Week, or Surloins of Roast Beef upon a Christmas-Day. Great Drinking, Playing and Wrangling at Shovel-board and All-Fours till Ten at Night, and many bloody Noses given when Drunk, in contending who Cuts-out truest, Sows quickest, and makes the best Work: Loud Peals rung about Eleven by their Wives, for 'em to come home to Bed; and great Repentance next Morning, with aking Heads, for their over-nights Drunkenness.
On the 30th. my Lord-Mayor's Horse will carry his Master into his May'ralty; in which being once seated, twenty stronger Horses than ever drew against Sampson, can't pull him out till that Day Twelve-month: The Triumphs of the City will be display'd with as much Splendor as the City Poet and Painter, by laying their Heads together, are able to Project: Abun∣dance of very fine rich Lacker'd Past-board pieces of Pagean∣try, will be carry'd upon Mens Heads, more gloriously adorn'd than a Country Milk-Pail on a May-Day. Truth and Justice perhaps may be represented by a couple of Black-Fryars Bum∣sitters; an old blind Bag-Piper, with his Rags hid under a Tin∣sey-Gown, truss'd up into an Apollo, Bells ringing, Dogs bark∣ing, Guns roaring, and Mob shouting, will add much Confu∣sion to the Solemnity of the Day, which will be merrily con∣cluded with Gluttonous Eating, inebrious Drinking, the Song of Four and Twenty Fidlers, a Nap after Supper, and so Good Night to ye.