Medicina Animæ or, the lamentation, and consolation of a sinner. Together with the severall collections out of the Holy Scriptures. By Joshua Mullard.

CHAP. X.

O God most powerfull and po∣tent over the spirits or soules of all flesh, whose eyes behold all the wayes of the children of Adam, from the day of their birth, unto the day of their death; to the end thou mayst render to every man according to his actions, be they good or evill: Teach mee, I beseech thee, how to confesse unto thee my poverty, because I have heeretofore vanted that I was rich, and need nothing, not knowing that I was poore, blind, naked, wretched, and in misery, for that I thought my selfe to bee something, when I was nothing; I sayd with my selfe, I shall

become a wise man, and I became a foole; I thought my selfe to bee pru∣dent and discreet, and I was decei∣ved, for that I now perceive that it is a gift gratis by thee given, without whom wee can do nothing; thus, O Lord, by leaving me, and proving me, thou hast taught me to know my self, not to respect of ti••e, that thou mightst know me, but in respect of mee, that I might know my selfe, because I thought my selfe to bee something of my selfe, and sufficient of my selfe; neither did I perceive that it was thou that diddest governe me, untill thou didst for a while for∣sake me; whereupon I forthwith fell, by which I did see and know, that it was thou that didst governe me, and that my fall hapned through my own fault, and my ……ing to grace, by means only of thy grace.

Thou hast opened mine eyes, O di∣vine

light, thou hast awakened and inlightned me, so that now I see that mans life is a temptation upon earth; neither hath frayle flesh, or any mor∣tall man living, just occasion to glory of himselfe before thee, or to presume of his justification, since all the good we have, be it little or great, procee∣deth wholly and freely from thee; neyther can wee attribute any thing justly to our selves, saving only our iniquity.

Whereof then shall any mortall man glory? shall he glory of his ini∣quity? this is not glory, but meere misery: shall hee therefore glory of his goodnesse? shall he glory of that which is anothers? Because all good∣ness and glory is thine, O Lord, and belongeth unto thee; he therfore that usurpeth that glory to himselfe that is due to thee, is a theefe, and a rob∣ber, and like unto the Divell, who

desired to bereave thee of thy glory; for hee that desireth to bee praysed in respect of the gift which thou hast given him, and doeth not seeke thy glory therein, but his owne, albeit in respect of thy gift hee bee praysed of men, yet by thee bee is thought wor∣thy of blame, for that with that gift which thou hast given him, hee hath not sought thy glory, but his owne; but hee that is praysed of men, being by thee thought worthy of blame, will not bee defended by men when thou shalt condemne him.

Thou therefore, O Lord, who didst forme me in my mothers womb, per∣mit me not to fall into that reproach∣full infamy, as to be upbrayded as one that would bereave thee of thy glo∣ry, who art the authour of all good∣nesse, and to thee is due all glory, but to us shame and misery, who accord∣ing to our deserts, are worthy of all

wretchedness, were it not that thou dost take pity upon us: Thou, O Lord, art pitifull indeed, full of compassion towards all men, and hating nothing of those things which thou hast made bestowing on us many benefits, & in∣riching us with thy greatest gifts, be∣cause thou doest favour those that are friendless, making them abound with the riches of thy goodnes.

I know, O Lord, and confesse that they onely that acknowledge them∣selves to be poor and needy, and con∣fesse unto thee their poverty, shalbe inriched by thee; insomuch that they that imagine themselves rich (being indeed poore and needy) are not to expect any spirituall gift or grace from thee: wherefore, O Lord my God, I doe acknowledge and confess unto thee my poverty, rendring un∣to thee all glory, because all the good that is done by me, proceedeth who∣ly from thee.

I confesse, O Lord, that I am no∣thing else but meere vanity, the sha∣dow of death, a darke bottomles dun∣geon, a voyd and unprofitable plot of ground, bringing forth nothing with∣out thy blessing, the naturall fruite thereof being confusion, sinne, and e∣ternall death and damnation: all the good that ever I had before, I had it from thee, is wholly thine, and pro∣ceeds from the hands of thy libera∣lity.

When I have stood upright, it hath beene by thy assistance; when I have fallen, it hath beene through my own negligence: when I was fallen like∣wise, I should for ever have remayn∣ed in misery, if thou hadst not raysed me: and being blinde, I should for e∣ver have been blind, if thou hadst not inlightned me: when I was fallen, I should never have risen, if thou hadst not with thy hand raised me: yea af∣ter

thou hadst raysed mee, I should have fallen immediately, if thou hadst not upheld mee; I should likewise have perished many times, and beene utterly undone, if thou hadst not go∣verned me.

Thus, O Lord, and in this manner hath thy grace and mercy prevented me from time to time, and continual∣ly delivering mee from all mishaps that might have befallen me, preser∣ving me from perills that are past, de∣livering me out of those that are pre∣sent, and strengthening mee against those that are to come, cutting in sun∣der before me the snares of sinne, re∣moving likewise all causes and occa∣sions of the same; for if thou haddest not afforded me this favour, I should have committed all sorts of sins what soever: because I know, O Lord, that there is no sinne committed by one man, which another could not like∣wise

doe the same, if mans Creatour by whom he was made, doe not assist him.

Thou therefore hast caused, and commanded me to abstaine from ini∣quity, giving mee grace that I might beleeve in thee: for thou, O Lord, didst direct me to do that which was to thy glory and my owne salvation; giving mee grace and understanding, that I might avoyde many grievous sins that I was inclinable to.