Gradus Simeonis: or, The first-fruits of Philip, Earle of Pembroke and Montgomery, &c. sometimes Knight of the Garter: and now Knight of Berk-Shire. Presented in a learned speech upon the day of his ascending downe into the lower House of Commons.

Gradus Simeonis, &c.

MAster Speaker, and worthy Fellow-Members, I am now advanc'd into the Lower House; and am glad I can say unto you (as sometimes did another Worthie of this House) BEHOLD YOUR KNIGHT. I am not ashamed to be a Knight; my Fa∣ther was a Knight before me: and why may not a man be a Knight after he is a Lord, as well as before? I am the first Knight that ever You made; Who should make Knights but you that have the Sword? I am a Knight of your making, and I hope I am a Knight of Gods making. I was borne a Knight, and now I am chosen a Knight; why should we not be twice Knights, as well as twice Children? The Presbyterian Parliament made me a Knight Errant; I was then a Knight of All Shires. I think They were the greater Levellers; for they brought me downe to be a Spaniel or Pack-horse: they could find no use for me but to Fetch and Carry. I had Hobsons choise, either be a Hobson or nothing. I was then a plaine ordi∣nary Post, but I thank God you have made me a Knight o'th' Post.

Mr. Speaker, I have been Knight o'th' Bath, & Knight o'th' G••••ter, and all manner of Knights; I have been dubd so often, that I am now faine to weare a Periwig. You may dub me what you will but a Lord Capel; I would be any thing but a Saint or a Martyr.

Mr. Speaker, I am not very good at Speeches; but I had rather make twenty i'th' Lower House here, then one upon the Scaffold.

Mr. Speaker, Reformation goes backward, and Crabs goe backward, all things goe backward, and why should not I goe backward? Now is the time o'th' yeare (you know) for Lobsters. I had rather have gone forward, but we must all goe that way the Devill drives. I would still be growing, though it be downwards; why should not old Lords as well as old men be Cowes tailes? I was alwayes a Dunce you know; I used to learne my Lessons over againe i'th' Horne-booke; and why may I not doe it so i'th' Heraulds booke? For a Lord to turne Knight is onely to weare his coat the wrong side out. It's a hard world now; Lords may be forced to turn their cloathes. Had I not been a Knight, I must have been nothing. I was (I knew) at a losse in my Lordship, and I learnt of my hounds to hunt counter, and cast about. Would you not have me (Mr. Speaker) have as much wit as a hound? None took me for a Lord, but onely some silly people like my selfe.

I am sure on't, I have nothing to shew for't but a Star; A Horse for ought I knew was as noble a beast as my selfe; a Star is but a Star whether it be worn in ones fore∣head, or upon ones shoulders. If there was an Earle of Pembroke, 'twas my Cloak was guilty, not I. I ne're was so much as a Gentleman but onely while I swore. Since I left my Oathes, God confound me I am no more no∣ble then any Colonel i'th' Army. All my Titles of Ho∣nour were but nick-names to me; my long Bill onely made me a Woodcock, and now I have a short one, twil perhaps make me but an Owle. My name was so long, I had much adoe to remember it. What profit doe Ti∣tles bring in? 'tis a faire deale better I hope to be Knight of a Shire, then a Knight of a Garter; and a Rope with Gregory at it would become me as well (I think) as a Blew Ribbon with a George.

Mr. Speaker, I have been sick o'th' Nobility ere since my Lord of Holland wore a night-cap. Pray God a man may be a Knight in quiet. I can as well ride with two Horses, as six. Ile goe on foot, or any thing, rather then be carted with one.

God dam me, M. Speaker, I was curst (I think) to be made an Earl. The Devill did it to have me beheaded; and I had rather be hanged, if I must die; that's a dogs death (M. Speaker) and you know I love Dogs. I would I had been a Brewer, or a Cobler, or any thing but a Lord.

M. Speaker, pray move it that Michael Oldsworth may be Earl of Pembrok, I have been Lord long enough a conscience. Michael is a man of understanding; Pem∣broke and Montgomery may be Welsh for ought I know. He has made me a Knight; and, what can I doe lesse then make him a Lord? He made me a Presbyterian, and he made me a Visitor: and now he has made me as good a Member as himself. He makes my Speeches; and I think I have as good Speeches made for me, as any Lord i'th' Kingdome. He can make me an Independent, or a Leveller, or any thing as occasion serves. God dam me, he is the best maker that ere I had.

M. Speaker, I was once i'th' Tower, you know, and must have gone to Tower-hill but for him; and what a mad Earle should I have made with my head off? Some say, I am none of the wisest now it's on; I have been a∣live this seven yeares, and you know many a wiser man than I hath gone to pot: They talke of the Bishop, and Deputy, but and if they were wise, I thank God I am a foole.

All Religion is good (Mr. Speaker) and why should not all kinds of Religions be good too? We cannot have

too much Religion; and how can we have too many? I loved the Common-Prayer, the Letanie served me for swearing. I love Presbyterie too; you know that brought the Covenant; and we had no swearing a long while be∣fore. I love the Independent too; why should we not have a pack of Religions, as well as a pack of Dogs? I hope both Presbyter and Independent will concur and agree; a man may be both, I think, as well as either of 'em. I can be any thing, and I can be nothing, in a Par∣liamentary way. Though I am a poor Christian, I thank God I am a contented one. I can be a Lord when I can; and I can be a Knight when I cannot otherwise chuse: I am not such a Fool, but that in these times I can be a Changeling too. Michael Oldsworth will instruct me, and I am not such fool neither, but to doe as I am bid. If there should be a King againe, I shall, perhaps, be begg'd for a Fool, but till then I am not such a fool as to be a Beggar. I'le be a Leveller so I may keep my own Estate; We shall not be Levellers I hope (M. Speaker) among our selves.

M. Speaker, I think I can Vote as well as any man: though I am a goose I can cackle. Michael Oldsworth and I shall carry it what ere it be; when he opens I shall gape I warrant; and I hope we are enough to set the rest a yawning. I hate division; when I am hunting I love a full cry, I am no stragler; I shall never leave you till you turne me away. I had not left the House of Lords, had it not left being a House of Lords. 'Twas all a poore COBWEB could doe, to hang till the House was blowne up. Had I hang any longer, I might have been hang'd for ought I know. But I can be a Cobweb, Mr. Speaker, i'th' Lower House as well as in the Upper. A Cobweb may be any where but in Westminster-Hall.

The upper House has been Visited as well as Oxford; there are more Earles of Pembrok (it seemes) beside my self. FAUX had like to have blown it up, but hang him Traytor, he would not have done it in a Parliamen∣tary way. IN A PARLIAMENTARY WAY, I say: I'le speak no Treason M. Speaker, that's as bad as flinging Standashes. I could never see Faux his head, God for∣give me, but mine aked presently. I doe what I can to keep it on; and yet I am afraid one time or other 'twill be loose i'th' hilts. 'Tis a scirvy one, but 'tis better then none. Should I want my Head, how should I do to wear a Periwig? Let 'em take my Armes, so they leave my Head safe. Let 'em take Pembroke and Montgomery, so they leave Philip and Herbert; and let 'em take them too, so they leave Me. I doe not stand upon names▪ My good name was gone long agoe; and yet I thank God I am a live, and keep Hounds still. One may be a Parlia∣ment man I hope without a name; and a Knight with∣out a name.

I shall doe excellent well in a Representative. I know I can sit as like an Image (though I say't Master Speaker) as the best i'th' House. I shall sit still, till you make a new Oath: A fresh Oath M. Speaker in my judgement would doe very well; But I would have it contrary to all for only Variety is pleasing to all men.

And now M. Speaker, that I am speaking of Oaths; I remember when I was sent by your Order to undoe the University of Oxford, according to the Duty of my Place, which I hold there as Chancellour; I met with some troublesome Scholars which talked to me of Con∣science: They could not swear, and forswear themselves (forsooth) because of Conscience. Their Conscience, they said, would not suffer them.

M. Speaker, My first Motion therefore to this Ho∣nourable House, is, That it may be put to a Vote, Whe∣ther or no there be any such thing as Conscience: Or, if there be, that then an Act may be made by this House, that no man may be allowed to keep a good Conscience but the wicked Cavaliers.

For alas! Mr. Speaker, this Conscience is good for nothing but to make a man a Beggar. Would I have been troubled with it, I had been as poore as any o'th' Kings Lords are now. 'Tis easier keeping two or three packs of Dogs, then one good Conscience, and yet Oat∣meale is very deare now God knowes.

Mr. Speaker, I hope 'tis not unlawfull to keep Dogs; Keeping Dogs, Mr. Speaker, is no swearing. I love Dogs, and I love the Parliament; I may love Dogs, and yet not love Kings; I must love Dogs now, Mr. Speaker, for else why was I chosen Knight of Bark-shire?