Love a la mode a comedy / written by a Person of honour.

Scoena Quarta.

Virginio, Philostratus, Blunt, Coelia.

Phil.

SHe's extreamly tainted, Sir, that's certain; And her distemper still growes higher.

Virg.

I see it does, Sir, to my griefe I see it. Never was man like me unfortunate, T'have but one childe, one comfort in my age, And to have her distracted, mad. Heavens, How did my youth offend, that on my age You do inflict so cruell and severe A punishment?

Weeps.

Blunt.

Have patience, forsooth: Mr. Doctor, speak some comfort to him.

Phil.

I wish I could; and yet I don't despaire But that time and healing medicaments May cure her distemper, and restore The Lady to her pristine health.

Virg.

Oh! never Sir, 'tis not within The power of art, to render me so happy.

Blunt.

Oh sweet Mistriss Coelia!

Phil.

Sir, be of cheere, I may have yet in store Something may comfort her. Alass, I pitty you,

And participate your grief: we must have time To observe and marke her severall distempers; For each distraction hath its several cause, And every cause produceth an effect, By which 'tis known; and a disease once known, You know's halfe cured.

Virg.

VVould hers were so: the little hope I've left Is in your art, pray use your utmost skill. Command me and my purse for a reward.

Phil.

Sir, if my life would cure her, I would not set a price on't; but let's observe, she comes, and in her fit.

Enter Coelia, richly, but phantastically habited: Servants.

Coelia.

Set us our Chaire of State, and o're our head erect a Chrystall Canopy, all full of Diamond-stars, whose lustre may blinde bleere-ey'd Astronomers to gaze upon.

Phil.

In her Princely straine, we must observe her gestures and her speech, and calculate by them the cause of her di∣stemper.

Blunt.

Let me alone to watch; I'll be as vigilant, as an In∣former in Lent.

Coelia.

Me thinks our Court's too meane, not rich enough To entertain the love of such a Prince.

Phil.

Love is one cause, marke that.

Coelia.

But we will have most glorious ornaments; Our walls and pavements all of beaten gold; Love in a fiery chariot shall descend, And with his flaming beames transpierce his heart, VVhil'st I on gaudy Iris back ascend The clouds, and gloriously eclipse the Sun. How can my love be absent? — hark, hark, I heare him come in Charles VVaine, lumbring Through the Clouds, before we are prepar'd. Turrets and Galleries we must have built; And Arches carv'd in one intire stone.

Phil.

Mark the effects of pride; yet still relating to her love.

Virg.

Poor Coelia!

Coel.

Pillars of Pearle, and lofty Pyramids Of Diamonds, upon whose spires shall be Erected, with sacred and mysterious art, A Saphire prospect to orelook the world. Next, will I have a heaven made of Chrystall, And womens hearts all adamant; the mens Vulcan shall forge of his refined steele, That they cleave in one and never part. 'Tis well you know your distance. See my commands Be executed all, you are my surveyor. —

Phil.

She cooles, and growes more temperate.

Coel.

Why should I not have him, him that I love? Obedience, love, duty, affections; Oh you discordant contrarieties! What a confusion do you breed within My fancie, and keep a strugling for the Mastership!

Phil.

Now she discourses somewhat sensibly; Her rank distemper certainly is love, My art much fails me else; which not enjoy'd, Worse frenzie followes, in the end her death, Which Physicks skill wants power to prevent.

Virg.

It is too incredible to gain belief: Yet with my heart I wish it were no worse, Then might I hope a remedy, which now Alas is desperate. She love! poor Girl, Love knows not such an enemy as her: She hath with tears besought me on her knees, When I've presented Husbands to her choice, That I'd dispence with her obedience, And leave her to her Virgin-happiness.

Phil.

I must confess 'tis strange.

Blunt.

And when, forsooth, I offer'd my love, and service, You would not think, forsooth, how she slighted it!

Phil.

All that may be, Sir; y'are inclin'd to age; And possibly the lovers tender'd by This Gentleman unto his daughters choice And liking, little agreeable unto

The Ladies fancy, which is the womb of love. You may believe me Master of a confidence That sorts not with true art, to build upon Conjectural speculations: But when You shall understand my chiefest skill lies In Physiognomy, which is the Index Of the Minde, that through observation I have learnt the radical cause of such Distempers, you cannot blame me if I desire You would bethink your self, or have her askt Concerning these particulars.

Virg.

These three years I dare answer for her: indeed some four years since I do remember a proper Gentleman, but much in his estate decayed, made tenders of his love; I there∣fore thought him not a match for her, no more did she.

Phil.

If it might not be too great boldness, I should crave his name.

Virg.

He call'd himself Philostratus.

Coel.

Philostratus! he is not here; why do You mock me thus? yet he is too unkind That will not come and see his Coelia die. My soul is fleeting in an Airy Chariot. Directly to Elyzium; but I'll Soon return, and hant my Philostratus.

Phil.

Now you'll approve my art.

Virg.

'Tis more then humane!

Phil.

Her infirmitie's plain: if you esteem her life at any rate, you may preserve it.

Virg.

Value her life! oh, Sir, don't question it: Were Philostratus poorer then he is, And that his marriage could but cure her; I'd embrace his alliance with more joy Then if Croesus store flow'd in his Coffers.

Blunt.

I hope you will not make an Ass of me, Forsooth, I have your promise.

Virg.

Always provided that you got her consent: which not obtain'd, my promise, Sir, is void. Good Mr. Doctor, in∣quire out this man, this philostratus; let us not neglect the means that may restore her.

Phil.

Sir, I go: But would be willingly assur'd before, That you will ratifie the match: for Tho' he's a stranger to me, I'd be loth To do a Gentleman such injury, As to revive an almost-quencht affection. With hopes, that would not prove realities.

Virg.

Oh doubt it not! I love my child too well: Yet to confirm your faith, list to my vow: If that the Gods restore my child to health, By means of Philostratus, or his love; I swear by Styx, that oath of dreadful awe Amongst the Gods, which they durst never break, Philostratus shall have my full consent To take her for his Wife: of which fixt vow Heaven and you are witness.

Phil.

I thank you, Sir, and now crave performance.

Virg.

Are you Philostratus?

Phil.

The same, Sir,; and for your Daughter, With this kiss I cure her distemper.

Virg.

I am all wonder!

Blunt.

And I all fool, to bring a Doctor to wipe my nose.

Coel.

Your pardon, gratious father; it was love That made me counterfeit this Lunacie. To gain your free consent, and yet preserve My duty and obedience.

Virg.

I am so glad to see thee thus recover'd, I want wards to express my joy: But take him, Girl, thou hast deserv'd him well. Philostratus, I need not doubt thy love, Which hath continued so many years (Almost without hope) constant: such love Must prosper; take her, Philostratus.

Phil.

Welcome, dear blessing: with far greater joy Do I receive thee into my bosome, Then malefactors at their deaths reprieves.

Coel.

My joy's too great to be express'd in words; My fancie and my love too high. The Gods

Affect not heaven more then I Philostratus: For which rich gifts (deare Father) I do owe You more, then for my birth.

Virg.

And may the gift be worth it, and thou him: The promises are fair on both sides. Let's To Church, and solemnize your loving Rites. Mr. Blunt, come, cheere up, man; thou wert My choice, but none can war with fate: Howe're, be merry at the Wedding, man; There be more wives i'th' world.

Phil.

And here comes one of equall years to fit him.

Blunt.

Sweet Coelia!

Coel.

My Governess, and dripping! sure she hath been new dipt.

Matr.

For love of you: but I'll make no more discove∣ries: a precise Rascall, like an unconscionable villain as he was, set me upon a tub of water for a stoole of repentance, upon which my devotion cooling, I fell asleep; and ••odding, tilted backwards into the water; up went my heeles and so I made a discovery.

Phil.

Of the Netherlands.

All.

Ha, ha, he!

Phil.

If you be a charitable man, warme this piece of de∣votion; that is, marry her; she'd prove both a Wise and a Nurse: the last you want most.

Blunt.

I would do much, I can tell you, to get even with you: I have been fob'd of one wife already.

Coel.

You may venter here with safety, with assurance: none will rob you of her; and I am sure my Governess is kinde-hearted.

Matr.

I would not forgoe a good turne; but I am glad to see you come to so well, Mistriss.

Virg.

Come, let it be a Match, and all to Church together.

Phil.

I see he's well inclin'd: silence consents. You'll have 〈◊〉〈◊〉 cleane Bride of her, she hath been well wash't.

Matr.

Oh that Rascall! could I but light on him. —

Phil.

Do not raile upon him; he has almost done you that good in satisfaction, by procuring you a rich Churle for a

Husband, as may make you bless him all dayes of your life.

Matr.

Was it you, Sir?

Phil.

No matter; I, or one in my Coat: at dinner I'll relate all passages.

Virg.

I do suspect mad prankes. Son, take your Bride. May nought but death this union divide.

Blunt.

Nay, Mistriss, we'll make up the second couple; a Compleate match, i' faith.

Virg.

Why well said, Neighbour, now I like it; you go Roundly to the lousiness.

Blunt.

I can do it home, I can tell you. You will make an obedient wife?

Matr.

Yes, and please your worship.

Phil.

This is right Love, and Courtship A la mode. Lady, will you Marry me? yes Sir, with all my Heart: but for obedience, you should have left it Till you came to Church, where she perhaps would have Left it behinde her.

Virg.

We loose much time: come, Lovers let's away; For Hymen's Ri••es admit of no delay.

Exeunt.