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ACT I. SCENE I.
Alass! My Lord.
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Alass! My Lord.
Ha, ha, ha! Indeed, Madam, you must pardon me. I grant you I can see every day a musty Churchman railing at Covetousness in one Room, and his Wife gaming in the next; a merry Poet laughing at a dap∣per Courtier, and a surly Officer grinning at him again; nay, a rich old Alderman inviting the young fellow home to dinner this morning, that lay with his Wife last night, and never be mov'd: but to see a great Man, nay a Prince dancing to every Fidler —
Why, who ever did?
Did you never? bless your good fortune then, for it would make your Heart ake to see as much as I have.
Nay, gentle Son.
Nay, gentle Mother, I know what you would say; you would ask me what I want, and alas I want many things; 'twould puzzle a Lawyers Atithmetick to reckon how many things I want. But in the first place I want a Wife, for between you and me, Madam, what should such tall overgrown fellows, like myself, live any longer without Wives? I know you'll say they make Fools of us, why be it so, I have been my own Fool long enough, 'tis time now I should be some ones else; for would one think it, nay freinds you must bear me witness too, would one think it.
Think what, Son?
Nay nothing, never think on't, my brains are almost turn'd with thinking.
For which of all my sins have I deserv'd this Curse?
What you weep now, and perhaps 'tis for my Father; and yet I have seen some women, and they wise ones too, do as much for the loss of a Lap-dog; but, Madam, tell me, did you ever see a Lawyer with a Fee in both hands?
Belike I have.
Why then you saw the Picture of Justice, you'll find his Breviate pinn'd to his back.
That's as much as to say I am a Fool, or a Madman; but go tell my
Brother on't, he'll thank you for the discovery; for let me tell you, if 'twas not for Fools, what business would Knaves have in this world.
If the King would make me a Privy Councellor, as I may grow great before I dye, I'de advise him to think more, and talk less, 'twill be∣come his greatness, for now adays there is but this difference betwixt your Wise man and your Fool, the Wise man laughs at other mens Jests, and the Fool always at his own, like a Cat playing with her own Tail, and so tickles himself with his own fingers.
We thank your Grace, our best care shall attend him.
My Lord, all this I grant, and more, but yet—
My Lord, You us'd to be more moderate.