Advice to lovers: or, Certain rules of behaviour shewing them how to demean themselves, so as not to miscarry in the grand affair of love. Wherein also the pretty tricks, odd humours, and fantastick carriage of some paramours, together with several pleasant passages relating to amours, and courtship, are observ'd and describ'd. By W. R. Gent.

The Second PART.

SECT. II. How Young Gentlemen should behave themselves in the Business of Love, so as to purchase the Favour and Affections of their Mistresses.

WHosoever undertakes the Task of Love, and is resolv'd manfully to fight un∣der Cupid's Banner, so as to return Triumphant with the spoils of Hearts and Souls of Pillag'd Virgins, must first study to please, and to frame, and accommodate himself to the Inclinations and Affections of them, and so comply with the Beck of his Mistress, as that all his Senses must be Vas∣sals Devoted to her Service; Nay, his very Soul must be her Slave and Lacquey: He must not be so constant to himself, but, if occasion shall serve, must change himself into a thousand shapes.

These are the duties and offices of Lovers; And indeed, what greater Happiness can there be, than for two Souls thus to be govern'd by one Will?

'Tis certain, Suiters adapt their studies, thoughts and endeavours to the Fancies and Humours of their Mistresses; But if their officious obsequious∣ness is not visible enough, They must make them so publick and manifest, that the Lady cannot but understand them, cannot pretend to be ignorant of them; but yet it must be done so modestly, that nothing may be diminish'd of her Esteem or Ve∣neration. My meaning is, If the Lover be so shee∣pish and Bashful, that he is asham'd to speak, yet let him not fear to write; And, if he be wise, be∣fore he transact any such thing with a Woman, let him be sure that he do not offend in it. All Women desire to be ask't and intreated, though they resolve to deny the Favour. Now in trying whether he shall have a repulse or not, let him do it either by Word or Letter so modestly and wa∣rily, and withal so doubtfully, that she may have room and scope (if she please) to pretend and dis∣semble that she understands nothing of Love in the case; and so by this means, if there be any danger, he may excuse himself, and say he did it for some other end; namely for that enjoyment of that Communion and Familiarity, which ought to be cherish't amongst Friends; But he must not affirm it so religiously, but that afterward he may deny it,

if, what he does be receiv'd a Pledg, and Testimo∣ny of his Kindness.

II.

For those that are too Rash, and Bold, at the first Adventure do usually, by their abrupt Blundering into the sacred presence of their Mistresses, make their Prayers Ineffectual, in regard their Impu∣dence very much disobliges, who pretend Love without the Ceremony and Preface of their offici∣ous Civility.

'Tis more Convenient therefore rather by Signs and Proofs, than by Words and Letters, to signifie their Passion.

One Sigh attended with respect and awful Fear, is a more certain Token of Affection, than Curio∣sity of Eloquence in a Flood of Words. Besides, the Eyes are the truest Nuncio's, which will faithfully perform an Embassy from the heart; For these will kindle a Flame in the Breast of her that is so much ador'd; For the visive rays, being darted into her eyes, never rest till they arrive to her heart, where mingling themselves with the blood and spirit, do at length infect them, which being a little warm, and assimilated to the Agent, receive the impres∣sion of the arriv'd Image: And thus whilst the sparks of Beauty through the casement of the Eys,

do mutually light upon each others hearts, the wisp of Love begins to blaze, whose Vestal Flames will never die, being nourish't by the Fewel of never-failing Hope.

So that, we safely affirm, [That the Eyes oftentimes are the Authors and Dispensers of Love] especially, if they retain a Natural, Majestick sweetness; or a pleasant Blackness; or a chearful caeruleousness; or lastly, have such piercing glances, which dive, and enter into the very Recesses of the Soul. The Eys (like expert Souldiers) lie in ambush; and if the composure of the other Parts be Uniform, and Decorous, they entice Spectators, and inveigle them at a distance; whom, as they nearer approach, they wound with their Darts, and fascinate with their Charms; and that chiefly when they mutu∣ally stare with Direct glances; For in that plea∣sant encounter (as distemper'd Opticks corrupt the sound one) they mutually partake of each others Natures.

And thus you see how by this way, a Lover may twinckle out his Inclinations and Desires, and dis∣cover the Grumblings of his Gizzard to his Dear Lady. But now, if these Betrayers of Love are not artificially manag'd, they will be apt to blabb, by an untoward Goggle, the Disorders and Per∣turbations

of an enamour'd Soul, to those from whom we would have them conceal'd; Cupid will be likely enough to peep out of these crystal win∣dows: Let a Prudent Lover therefore (as time and place shall require) tye up his Looks, and not suf∣fer them to straggle and rove unseasonably: What though a Prospect of her Beauties, be a Refresh∣ment and verdure to his Soul, and Sight, yet let him divert his Pigs-neys from the luxury of that Look, which may in the least proclaim the Hanckerings of Love.

But is it not more Prudent to do all things open∣ly, and in the eys of the World? Is it not better to Bill in open view, and to Toy it in publick, where there is witnesses of your Friskings, than to smack it in the dark, and to be jumbling in hugger-mug∣ger behind the door? For the Freeness and Pub∣lickness of these Actions, will take away the suspi∣cion of all Love, seeing 'tis not regarded whether they are seen or not; whereas a sly Colt, that loves to Lecher it in a corner, will, give occasion of Jea∣lousie. Besides, by denying nothing, but by pub∣lick professing of all, the Jolly Lover hath the Li∣berty to Bow and Complement; to meet and chatt with her without the least suspicion; where∣as these Privileges are deny'd to Privateers in Love.

It hath been observ'd, That where there hath not been glowing the least spark of Love, there hath broken out the whole Element of that Pas∣sion; which was only kindled by a bare Report. A common Bruit hath tickled so much the Fancy of some Women, that they have been smitten by Hear-say. Fame plays the part of an Amorous Courtier, whose Rhetorick is more prevalent than the melting Expressions of the most Passionate Gallant; and she hath been more prosperous in wooing, and hath kindled more Love, than their Personal Addresses; so that Rumours are so far from cooling the Fervours and Heats of Love, as that they Fan the Embers, and blow them up into a great Combustion.

IV.

But how many Gallants always keep the Love and Favour of their Mistresses? Certainly, by the same means they first obtain'd it, namely, 1. By Pleasing them. 2. By being Obsequious to them. And, 3. By offering no occasion of offence.

'Tis hard to advise in this case, in regard those that are troubled with the Simples, and are not very Judicious, do fall into a thousand Errours; which, although they seem Light, and Tri∣vial perhaps to others, yet do much exasperate

and vex the Women. Those Men are most ob∣noxious to them, who are possess'd with greater Ravings of Love, than others; who as often as they meet their Adored-She, do break out into such Extremities of Grief and Sorrow as that they are always expressing it with the odd solemnities of wringed hands, and shaken Noddles; of wreath-Chops, and Antick Grimaces; who require such strange and difficult Things, that they are render'd Contemptible, and Odious, even by their clinging Importunity.

Others, unjustly Jealous, are so severe against those they suspect, that they will not allow their Ladies so much as to speak, and look or leer upon them: By which Madness and Folly they do not only incense the Women, but make them twitter after those, whom before they minded not: That Fear that Firks, nay Torments a man's Soul, lest his Mistress should twine about the Limbs, or min∣gle with the Embraces of another Man; I say that Fear doth insinuate that his Person is more Vertu∣ous, and more Deserving, than himself is: And the more he doth Detract from another, the less he's Believ'd, by his Mistress, though he speaks Truth; Nay, she conceives a greater Opinion of his worth, and thinks within her self, that the Gen∣tleman's charms are the more Attractive

V. Let our Suiter therefore have a care that he do not be∣spatter and Disparage his Rival.

'Tis an old Proverb, If thine Enemy be in the water up to the middle, Lend him your hand to help him out; but if he stands up to the Chin, set your Foot on his Head to thrust him in. Some deal with their Rivals so; who pretend Friendship till they have an oppor∣tunity mischievously to prevent them. When they can handsomly Defeat them, then neither Calum∣nies and Reproaches are spar'd, nor Subtlety and Art are omitted, whereby they may craftily De∣ceive them. But I would not have our Gallant to deal in Stratagems, nor so degenerously to Tri∣umph over his Defeated Competitor; If he would glory in the Frustration of his Counsels, and in the overthrow of his Designs, Let him endeavour to do it, by the offices of Love, and Atchievements of Valour; by Obsequious Insinuations, and by worth and merits; by the contempt of those Fol∣lies, and Dis-ingenuous Methods, which Impru∣dent men fall into, and do frequently use.

Some do Accost, both in Discourse and Letter, in Rhetorical Flourishes; other Braggadochio's do nothing but Trumpet out their own worth,

and are always pratling their own Praises. A Third sort does blabb that inconsiderately out, which oftentimes proves Prejudicial to them, as those Ridiculous God-heads, who are always say∣ing, [I could never find a Woman yet that Lov'd me;] whereas all the World knows, that they are scarce good enough for the mannerly Dogs to hold up their Legs against, and civilly to piss upon. Many, to render their Rivals Odious, do usually draw them in such a character, viz. That Fellow is the happiest Fool in the World; For though he is not endow'd with the Charms of Beauty, nor with the Gravity of Pru∣dence, nor Resolutions of Valour, nor eurich'd or adorn'd with any other Excellency, yet all the Women in the Coun∣trey stick up their Tails and gad after him; and are at Cuff and Kick for the Enjoyment of Him. Thus whilst they spit their venom, and envy his good Fortune, and though he is in no wise taking, yet the Women suspect some hidden Vertue to ly Dormant in him.

VI.

But how may the Mysteries of Love be best conceal'd?

Answ. By avoiding all Occasions which may Discover them.

The First of which, is Affecting too great a Se∣cresie, so that Men will not Trust, confide in, or

give credit to any Body, and hereby think so close∣ly to lock up all things; wh••reas 'tis the ready way for the disclosing of them.

For seeing every Lover desires to have the in∣ward Sentiments of his Soul to be declar'd to his Mistress, he is therefore upon necessity forc'd to make broader signs, than if he had committed the Business to a Faithful Friend; and those Tokens that proceed from a Lover breed greater suspici∣ons, than those that are carry'd by a Messenger; and because 'tis natural, curiously to pry into others Business: wheresoever therefore is sprung the least Jealousie, there will not be omitted the least opportunity of Enquiry, which when once found out, you cannot imagin how pleasant 'tis to divulge and blab it. But now these Inconveni∣ences do not happen, when the Passion is commu∣nicated to a True Friend, who can counsel, and assist, and would prevent those Errours, which a Blind Lover would blunder upon, and can cover all things, and foresee Futurities, which a Doating Paramour hath no Prospect of, and can participate of his Affections either of Grief, or Pleasure.

Another Herald that proclaims Love, is Female Ambition joyn'd with Cruelty. For all Women do covet to be follow'd, and (as it were) to have

their Tayls tag'd with a long Train of Lovers; altho (like Cupid's Martyrs) they are calcin'd into Ashes by Amorous Heats, yet doth that Sex wish earnestly their Resurrection, that they might again exspire in the midst of Flames. And though Women love to have a Thump on the Breast with that Pleasant Dart, yet do they insult and Tri∣umph over the Miseries of their wretched Para∣mours; They ••either altogether revive their Drooping Souls with Dawning Hopes, nor whol∣ly Damp their Spirits with Black Despair, but hold in suspence, and poyse their Passions and Desires; which sometimes they Discourage by the invectives of a Threat, and sometimes invite with the Flatteries of a Reward, whose Behavi∣our (sinally) is so Tyrannical and severe, that one obliging Nod, and one Gracious Leer must be thought the sweetest Morsel of Happiness that was ever tasted.

There are some Women, who, if they can wheedle Men into an Opinion [That they are Be∣lov'd] will, by an unequal Division of their Fa∣vour, stir up such Emulations in the Breasts of their Servants, that they fhall to scuffling for the Title to an intire Inheritance of a Smile or Kind∣ness: When they have Lull'd them into that

Persuasion, then with their ambiguous Language do they shake their Hopes, and stagger their Be∣lief, and wound them with the Pretences of Love to others; Hence follow Quarrels, Animosities, and open Murder.

There are others that think it not sufficient to raise Tragedies among Rivals, but after the Pu∣ling Lover hath us'd all the Arguments imagin∣able of Love, Fidelity and Obsequiousness; and after he hath been encourag'd by all the signs of Mutual Kindness, I say, after all this, other are some who will accuse (without any reason) of In∣differency, and coldness in the offices of Love, will invent new Jealousies and Suspicions, and there∣upon are ready to kick them out of Doors; And then the Miserable Creature is forc'd to begin afresh with new signs, and as if now just entring upon his Slavish Servitude, he hath his daily Perambulations about the Streets; and if his Mi∣stress chance to appear in publick, he Tantonies after her, wheresoe're she Figs, and dare not shirk so much as one Glance, to bestow or throw it any otherwayes. And now Behold his Fresh Tears, and New Face; his New Religion, and New Perjuries.

Now all these Tragical Affections are as obvi∣ous

as the Sun, and are more easily Discover'd by others, than by the Authors of them; and, when once taken notice of, are always the Objects of a thousand Eyes.

But now, when Women perceive a Calamitous Lover so terrify'd by their Tyranny, as that he begins to retreat, and is almost ready to bewray his Breeches, and to give up the Ghost for Fear, then they begin to caress him with some Baits of Kindness, and endeavour to revive him with the Cordial of pretended Love, lest he should throw aside his Desires, and so they be Depliv'd of the officiousness of an obsequious Servant.

FINIS.