The Pleasures of matrimony intermix'd with variety of merry and delightful stories : containing the charms and contentments of wooing and wedlock in all its injoyments, recreations, and divertisements.

INTRODUCTION.

THERE is nothing more de∣sired, nothing more coveted by both the Sexes of Men and Women, than Matrimony. It has been in high esteem among all Nati∣ons, from the beginning of the World. And this desire it was that made Cain take such a tedious Journey into the Land of Nod, to get him a Wife: For there is a Na∣tural propensity in Man, to propagate and continue his kind. Now least this pro∣pensity should slacken in either Sex, Na∣ture has furnished Matrimony with those Concomitant and Convenient Pleasures and Delights, which render it so Charm∣ing, that it is impossible to prevent the Impetuosity of Ardent Flame, and Youth∣ful desire. Venus whom the Poets feign to be the Goddess of Pleasure, Caresses, De∣light, and Carnal Procreation, was Born out of the Genitals of Coelum, snipt off by Saturn in a Jealous Frolick, and thrown into the Sea; where she had her Birth without a Mother, from the Froth of those

Parts; which was done in Honour of Ma∣trimony, to deifie Coition and Natural Conjunction. Till that time, they say, that the whole Race of Fish was almost extinguished; but so soon as Venus had power over the Sea, then it was that Her∣rings and Mackrel began to encrease at that prodigious rate as now they do. She was Cradl'd first in a Mother of Pearl-shell, to show that the Nuptial S••eets ought to be without defilement; she was also said to be Born Laughing, for that Sweetness, Chearful Discourses, Smiles, and Caresses ought to be the Concomitants of Matrimo∣ny. Some say indeed that when she came to be Marry'd, she would now and then take up a Stone with her Ear; which is the Reason that Matrimony does not al∣ways succeed so happily as might be de∣sir'd: Without doubt her Familiarity with Adonis, was a spot to her Reputati∣on, and her being taken in the Act with Mars, was another stain to her Honour: But that she was the first Inventress of Whoring can never be, because it is appa∣rent that there were many Women in the World before she was Born. Besides, she was a Goddess of a haughty, revengeful Humour and one that mortally hated a slight: Insomuch that when the Lemni∣an

Women neglected the Sacrifices, which she lookt upon to be her due, she did some∣thing to 'em, that occasion'd such a rank smell and strong perfume from their Bodies, that their Husbands could not endure 'em. Thereupon the Men made a War with their Neighbours, and plunder'd all the Women out of their Enemies Country, to supply the Room of their all-to-be-Assa∣foetida'd Wives: which put the Women into such a rage, that in one Night, they killed all their Husbands, and their Cap∣tive Mistresses; and least their Sons should revenge the Death of their Fathers when they came of Age, they slew them too. This was a bad Example, which many Women are too apt to follow, and daily put in practice, if their Husbands fail their Expectations, and neglect to give them their due.

Now for these Reasons, and forsome o∣ther, too long to enumerate, tho Matrimo∣ny has been all along thus deify'd, tho' there be nothing more desired, and sought after by all Ages and Sexes, and tho' it have several Comforts and Complacencies in it; yet there is a General Clamour a∣gainst it, and there are others that con∣demn it, inveigh against it, and cry it down, as the only occasion and Root of

all the mischiefs, disturbances and vexati∣ons that perplex and plague Mankind, and render Life uncomfortable; insomuch that many Men choose to prefer a Wanton, Lawless, and Lascivious Liberty, before Honest and Vertuous Matrimonial Confine∣ment, to the unspeakable Consumption of Lenitive Electu••ry, Venice Turpentine, Sarsaparilla and Quick-silver, the ruin of their Bodies, the Mutilation of their No∣ble parts, and the Overspreading producti∣on of Vermin Mountebanks. And this it is that has engag'd us to Publish these few Sheets, with a laudable Intention to sepa∣rate the Comforts from the Dis••omforts of Matrimony; thereby to rec••ver re∣proached Wedlock from the Scandals thrown upon her, and to restore her to the good Opinion of her Adversaries.

Some then there are that say there are but ten Comforts in Matrimony; others allow Fifteen and that's the most: But for Discomforts, they swear they are not able to number 'em. They say, that if in every Age, all that have received prejudice from Matrimony should but open their Mouths together, there would be such a Din, that if any thi••g a••ail'd her it would be only this, that the re•• wo••ld never be able to hear her Accusers. And for Con∣firmation

of this, they tell us a Story of one Madam Pandora, that had a Box, and that when she open'd this Box, there flew out the Devil and all of Matrimonial Discomforts. But in regard these upbrai∣ders of Matrimony where no Fathers of the Church, therefore we are not lightly to give Credit to their Authority.

If there are Fifteen Comforts in Matri∣mony; by'r Lady, there are enough, (for who would not Marry to enjoy Fifteen Comforts?) I wish we may make our words good, and find out Fifteen; for the Ancient Philosophers counted Seven to be the Number of perfection; now in Fif∣teen there is twice Seven, two perfect Num∣bers, and one to spare. So that had Ma∣trimony but Seven Comforts, it had the perfect Number of Comforts, which were sufficient; but Fifteen is a Number of Su∣pe••erogation, and therefore there can be no∣thing said against it. But now I think on't, there is one Comfort more, which has not been thought upon, which tho' it be not in Matrimony it self, yet it is so Essential to Matrimony, that Wedlock cannot be without i••, and always preceeds •…•…t, which is the Comfort of Wooing; which makes me think that if we should go about to Romage for Matrimonial Com∣forts,

we should find a great many more. But first let us see to make out these Six∣teen, and then a Figg for Pandora and her Box to boot.