Delight and pastime, or, Pleasant diversion for both sexes consisting of good history and morality, witty jests, smart repartees, and pleasant fancies, free from obscene and prophane expressions, too frequent in other works of this kind, whereby the age is corrupted in a great measure, and youth inflamed to loose and wanton thoughts : this collection may serve to frame their minds to such flashes of wit as may be agreeable to civil and genteel conversation / by G.M.

TRADESMEN, AND COƲNTRYMEN.

I.

SEveral Tradesmen had great Sums of Money owing them by a Gentle∣man, who put them off from Day to Day. One of them coming too close upon him with a pressing Language, he gave him a box on the Ear. The Trades∣man went to a Magistrate, and com∣plained of it; who advised him to leave his Bills with him, and he would take care to see them paid. Some time after, the said Magistrate brought the Bills to the Gentleman, and asked him whether the Tradesman had received any Thing in part? Yes, Sir, (says he) he had a good Box on the Ear.

II.

A Dier being commanded by the Court to hold up his Hand, it being all black, the

Judg bad him pull off his Glove. My Lord, reply'd the Dier, You had more need put on your Spectacles.

III.

A Tradesman that would never work by Candle-light, was asked the reason why? To save Candles, says he; A Peny saved is a Peny got.

IV.

One admiring the Happiness of Clergy-men used to say, I will be a Clergy-man in this World, whatever comes on't in the next.

V.

Another seeing a Wax-taper covered with Lewis D'or, and carried for an Of∣fering to a Saint, being in a Rapture at the sight of it, cried out, How glorious and taking are the Church Ceremonies?

VI.

A melting Sermon being preached in a Country-Church, all fell a weeping, ex∣cept a Country-man. Who being ask'd, why he did not weep with the rest? Be∣cause (says he) I am not of this Parish.

VII.

A Country-man admiring the stately Fabrick of S. Paul's Cathedral, asked, Whether it was made in England, or brought from beyond Sea.

VIII.

Another being an Eunuch, was asked by a Gentleman, how he came to have no Beard? The Country-man, observing he had a Red one, made him this Return; Sir, says he, when God was pleased to make the Distribution of Beards, I came when there was none left but Red ones to distribute; and I chose rather to be without a Beard, than to have a Red one.

IX.

One, finding himself Indisposed, went to consult a Physician. Who advised him to take a Glister at Night, to be let Blood and take a Glister the next Day, and Phy∣sick the Day after. Being returned home, and considering that he was to go a Jour∣ney, he took all at once; and so set for∣ward, without any prejudice to his Health.

X.

Another being at the point of Death, his Son was sent to the Priest of the Parish something late in the Night. The Priest was fast asleep; and the Country-man, loth to awake him, knockt at his Door as modestly as he could. Thus he waited three hours at the Door, before he could speak to the Priest, as he owned it to him. Who, after he had blamed him for not

knocking harder, Friend, says he to him, to be sure your Father is dead by this time, 'tis too late for me to go. Don't fear, re∣ply'd the Country-man, for my Neighbour Pierrot promised me, that he would keep him in Discourse, till I came back.

XI.

A Woman, whose Husband was gone to the Wars, received Information of her Husband's being slain in a Battel. Great was her Moan upon it, which drew her neighbouring Gossips about her. One of which told her, for her Comfort, Your Husband (says she) had so great a Love for you, that, had he lost his Life, as is re∣ported, you would have had an Account of it from himself.