Delight and pastime, or, Pleasant diversion for both sexes consisting of good history and morality, witty jests, smart repartees, and pleasant fancies, free from obscene and prophane expressions, too frequent in other works of this kind, whereby the age is corrupted in a great measure, and youth inflamed to loose and wanton thoughts : this collection may serve to frame their minds to such flashes of wit as may be agreeable to civil and genteel conversation / by G.M.

LAWYERS.

I.

AN eminent Counsellor at Law, be∣ing asked why he took upon him so many bad Causes, being so good a Lawyer; I have (says he) been cast in so many good Causes, and got the better in so many bad ones, that I am to seek which to chuse.

II.

Lysias having given his Plea to his ad∣verse Party to peruse, this read it three times, and gave his Thoughts of it in these Words. The first time (says he) I read it, I liked it well; the second time, not so well; and the third, not at all. Then, re∣ply'd Lysias, it will pass, for the Court will hear it but once.

III.

A Counsellor blind of one Eye, plead∣ing at the Bar with his Spectacles on, said, he would produce nothing but what was ad Rem, to the Point. Then, said the ad∣verse Party, you must take out one Glass of

your Spectacles, which indeed was Insignifi∣cant.

IV.

Another ill-favoured Counsellor, who had but half a Nose left, could not read audibly a Writing that was relating to his Plea. One of the Judges, who had a well-sized Nose, called for Spectacles to help him to read. Sir, said the Counsellor be∣ing nettled at it, I hope, if I get Spectacles, you will lend me your Nose to clap 'em on.

V.

One, whose way was to read all his Pleas, having done Reading, another stood up a∣gainst him. Who was so often interrupted by the first, that he told him at last, Sir, by your favour, I let you Read a whole hour without Interruption, pray, let me plead qui∣etly one half Hour.

VI.

An Advocate of Toulouse in France, cal∣led Adam, made the President all his Spee∣ches; except one he ventured to make, in Adam's absence. Which when the Presi∣dent delivered, he was so puzzled with it, that it made one of the Assistant Judges cry out, Ʋbi es Adam? where art thou Adam?

VII.

A Pick-pocket in France, being taken in the Fact at a Court of Judicature, was im∣mediately brought before the Court, to

answer the Charge; and, as the way is there, had Counsel allowed him, and ap∣pointed by the Court, for his Defence. Whereupon his Counsel took him aside, and asked him, if he had pickt any Man's Pocket? 'Tis true enough, says he. Hold your tongue, reply'd the Counsel, and follow my Advice. Go thy ways, and make thy Escape with full speed. No sooner said, but done. And, whilst the Delinquent took his Opportunity, his Counsel came gravely to the Bar again. The Court asked him, what he had to say in his Client's Defence. Gentlemen, says he, he has freely owned to me the Matter of Fact. But he being under no Guard, and I appointed his Counsel by the Court, I thought the best Counsel I could give him was to make his escape; upon which he vanished away pre∣sently. This proved a Subject of Laugh∣ter, and nothing amiss could be fixt upon the Lawyer.

VIII.

A studious Man in the Law took upon him to cut a Partridge at Dinner, but could never hit the Joint. Sir, said one of the Guests, Were it not better for you to know less of the Law, and understand Ana∣tomy better?