London drollery, or, The wits academy being a select collection of the newest songs, lampoons, and airs alamode : with several other most ingenious peices [sic] of railery, never before published / by W.H.

The Description of a Beautiful Woman.

THese thirty Things that Helens fame did raise, A Dame must have, that seeks for Virtues praise. Three bright, three black, three red, three short, three tall; Three thick, three thin, three close, three wide, three small.

Her Skin, Teeth, Cheeks, must be clean, bright, and neat; Her Hair, her Brows and Eyes as black as Jet: Her Cheeks, Lips, Nails, must have Vermilion hue; Her Hands, Hair, Height, must shew good length to view. Her Teeth, Feet, Ears, all short, no length allow; Large Brest, large Bum, a large and spacious Brow. Her Mouth must narrow be, small Waste and tender; Her Eyes, Lips, Nose, must be but thin and slender. Her Neck, Waste, Ancles, slender and small must be, That Teeth, Tongue, Lips, be close kept, not too free. Her Neck, Thighs, Navel, must be fat and round; Her Nose, Head, Teats, the least that may be found. Her Brows, her Looks, and Brests must wideness have; Her Nostril, Mouth, Ear, smallness: Then all's brave. Since such Perfections few or none attain, Then few or none are fair, the place is plain.