The night-walker, or, The little thief a comedy as it was presented by Her Majesties servants at the private house in Drury-Lane / written by John Fletcher, Gent.

Actus Secundus.

Enter Tom Lurch. and his Boy.

Lur.

What hast thou done?

Boy.

I have walked through all the lodgings. A silence as if death dwelt there inhabits.

Lur.

What hast thou seen?

Boy.

Nought but a sad confusion Every thing left in such a loose disorder That were there twenty theeves, they would be laden.

Lu.

'Tis very Well, I like thy care, but 'tis strange

A wedding night should be so solitary

Boy.

Certainly there is some cause, some death or sickness Is falne suddenly upon some friend, Or some strange news is come.

Lu.

Are they all a bed?

Boy.

I think so, and sound a sleep, unless it be Some women that keep watch in a low parlour, And drink, and weep, I know not to what end.

Lur.

Where's all the plate?

Boy.

Why lockt up in that room. I saw the old Lady, ••re she went to bed Put up her plate, and some of the rich hangings In a smal long chest, her chains and rings are there too, It stands close by the Table on a form.

Lur.

'Twas a good notice, didst thou see the men.

Boy.

I saw them sad too, and all take their leaves, But what they said I was too far to her sir.

Lur.

'Tis daintily discover'd, we shall certainly Have a most prosperous night, which way.

Boy.

A close one, A back door, that the women have left open, To go in and out to fetch necessaries, Close on the Garden side.

Lur.

I love diligence, Wert thou not fearful.

Boy.

Fearful? Ile be hang'd first.

Lur.

Say they had spied thee.

Boy.

I was then determin'd To have cry'd down right too, and have kept 'em company, As one that had an interest in their sadness, Or made an errand to I know not whom sir.

Lur.

My dainty Boy, let us discharge, that plate Makes a perpetual motion in my fingers, Till I have fast hold of it.

Boy.

Pray be wise sir, doe't handsomly, be not greedy, Lets handle it with such an excellence As if we would bring theeving into honour: We must disguise, to fright these reverend watches.

Lur.

Still my blest Boy.

Boy.

And clear the Room of drunken jealousies, The chest is of some weight, and we may make Such noise ith' the carriage we may be snap'd.

Lur.

Come open, here's a Devils face.

Boy.

No, no, sir, weele have no shape so terrible, We will not do the Devil so much pleasure, To have him face our plot.

Lur.

A winding sh••et then.

Boy.

Thats too cold a shift, I would not wear the reward of my wickedness, I wonder you are an old thief, and no cunninger, Where's the long Cloak?

Lur.

Here, here.

Boy.

Give me the Turbant And the false beard, I hear some coming this way, Stoop, stoop, and let me sit upon your shoulders, And now as I direct: stay let'em enter, And when I touch move forward, make no noise.

Enter Nurse and Tobie.

Nur.

Oh 'its a sad time, all the burnt wine is burnt Nick.

Tob.

We may thank your dry chaps for't, the Canaries gone too No substance for a sorrowful mind to work upon, I cannot mourn in beer, if she should walk now As discontented spirits are wont to do.

Nur.

And meet us in the Cellar.

Tob.

What fence have we with single beer against her? VVhat heart can we defie the Devil with?

Nur.

The March beer's open.

Tob.

A fortification of March beer will do well, I must co••fess 'tis a most mighty Armour, For I presume I cannot pray.

Nur.

VVhy Nicholas?

Tob.

VVe Coachmen have such tumbling faiths, no pray'rs Can go an even pace.

Nur.

Hold up your candle.

Tob.

Ver••ly Nurse, I have cry'd so much For my young M••stress, that is mortified,

That if I have not more sack to support me; I shall even sleep, heiho, for another flagon; These Burials and Christnings are the mournful•• matters, And they ask more drink.

Nur.

Drink to a sad heart's needful.

To.

Mine's ever sad, for I am ever dry Nurse.

Nur.

Me thinks the light burns blew, I prethee snuffe it, There's a thief in't I think.

To.

There may be one near it.

Nur.

Whats that that moves there, ith' name of—Nicholas? That thing that walks.

To.

Would I had a ladder to behold it, Mercy upon me, the Ghost of one oth' Guard sure, 'Tis the devil by his clawes, he smalls of Brimstone, Sure he farts fire, what an Earth-quake I have in me; Out with thy Prayer-book Nurse.

Nur.

It self ith' the frying-pan, and the Cat's eat it.

Tob.

I have no power to pray, it grows still longer, 'Tis Steeple high now, and it sails away Nurse. Lets call the Butler up, for he speaks Latine, And that will daunt the devil: I am blasted, My belly's grown to nothing.

Nu.

Fye, fye, Tobi••.

Exit.

Bo.

So let them go, and whilst they are astonish'd. Let us presently upon the rest now suddenly.

Lur.

Off, off, and up agen, when we are near the Parlour, Art sure thou knowst the Chest?

Boy.

Though it were ith' dark sir, I can go to't.

Lur.

On then and be happy.

Exit.

Enter Tobie.

Tob.

How my haunches quake, is the thing here still? Now can I out-do any Button-maker, at his own trade, I have fifteen fits of an Ague, Nurse, 'tis gone I hope, The hard-hearted woman has left me alone. Nurse— And she knows too I ha but a lean conscience to keep me com∣pany.

Noise within.

The devil's among 'em in the Parlour sure,

The Ghost three stories high, he has the Nurse sure, He is boyling of her bones now, hark how she whistles: There's Gentlewomen within too, how will they do? Ile to the Cook, for he was drunk last night, And now he is valiant, he is a kin to th' devil too, And fears no fire,

Enter Lurcher and Boy.

Lur.

No light?

Boy.

None left sir, They are gone, and carried all the candles with 'em, Their fright is infinite, let's make good use on't, We must be quick sir, quick, or the house will rise else.

Lu.

VVas this the Chest?

Boy.

Yes, yes.

Lur.

There was two of 'em. Or I mistake.

Boy.

I know the right, no stay sir, Nor no discourse, but to our labour lustily, Put to your strength and make as little noise, Then presently out at the back door.

Lur.

Come Boy. Come happy child and let me hug thy excellence.

Exit.

Enter Wildbrain.

Wil.

VVhat thousand noises pass through all the rooms? VVhat cryes and hurries? sure the devil's drunk. And tumbles through the house, my villanies That never made me apprehend before Danger or fear, a little now molest me; My Cosens death sits heavy o'my conscience, VVould I had been half hang'd when I hammer'd it. I aim'd at a living divorce, not a burial That Frank might have had some hope: hark still In every room confusion, they are all mad, Most certain all stark mad within the house, A punishment inflicted for my lewdness, That I might have the more sense of my mischief, And run the more mad too, my Aunt is hang'd sure, Sure hang'd her self, or else the fiend has fetc'd her;

I heard a hundred cryes, the Devil, the Devil, Then roaring and then tumbling, all the chambers Are a meer Babel, or another Bedlam. VVhat should I think? I shake my self too: Can the Devil find no time, but when we are merry, Here's something comes.

Enter Newlove.

New.

Oh that I had some company, I care not what they were, to ease my misery, To comfort me,

Wil.

VVhose that?

New.

Again? noy then receive—

Wil.

Hold, hold I am no fury. The Merchants wife,

New.

Are ye a man? pray heaven you be.

Wil.

I am.

New.

Alas I have met sir The strangest things to night.

Wil.

VVhy do you stare.

New.

Pray comfort me, and put your candle out, For if I see the spirit again I dye for't. And hold me fast, for I shall shake to pieces else.

Wil.

Ile warrant you, Ile hold ye, Hold ye as tenderly; I have put the light out, Retire into my Chamber, there Ile watch we'ye, Ile keep you from all frights.

New.

And will ye keep me.

Wil.

Keep you as secure Lady.

New.

You must not wrong me then, the devil will have us.

Wil.

No, no, Ile love you, then the devil will fear us. For he fears all that love, pray come in quickly, For this is the malicious house he walks in, The hour he blasts sweet faces, lames the limbs in, Depraves the senses, now within this half hour He will have power to turn all Citizens wives Into strange creatures, Owles, and long-taild Monkeys, Jayes, Pies, and Parrots, quickly, I smell his brimstone.

New.

It comes agen I am gone shift for your self sir.

Exit.

VVil.

Sure this whole night is nothing but ••llusion,

Here's nothing comes, all they are mad, damd devil To drive her back agen, 't had been thy policy To have let us alone, we might have done some fine thing To have made thy hel-hood laugh, tis a dainty wench, If I had her again, not all your fellow goblins Nor all their clawes should scratch her hence, Ile stay still, May be her fright will bring her back a gen, Yet I will hope.

Enter Toby.

Tob.

I can find no bed, no body, nor no chamber, Sure they are all ith' Cellar, and I cannot find that neither, I am led up and down like a tame ass, my light's out And I grope up and down like ••lind-man buffe, And break my face, and break ••y pa••e.

VVil.

It comes again sure I see the shadow, Ile have faster hold now, Sure she is mad, I long to lye with a mad-woman, She must needs have rare new tricks.

Tob.

I hear one whisper If it be the devil now to allure me into his clutches, For devils have a kind of tone like crickets, I have a glimpse of her guise, 'tis she would steal me, But Ile stand sure.

Tob.

I have but a dram of wit left, And that's even ready to run, oh for my bed now.

VVil.

She nam'd a bed, I like that, she repents sure, Where is she now?

Tob.

Who's that?

VVil.

Are you there, In, In, In presently.

Tob.

I feel his talents through me, 'Tis an old haggard devil, what will he do with me?

VVil.

Let me kiss thee first, quick, quick.

Tob.

A leacherous Devil.

VVil.

What a hairy whore 'tis, sure she has a muffler.

Tob.

If I should have a young Satan by him, tor I dare not de∣ny him, In what case were I? who durst deliver me?

VVil.

'Tis but my fancy, she is the same, in quickly, gently my

Sweet girle.

To.

Sweet devil be good to me.

Ex••••nt.

Enter Lurch. and Boy.

Lur.

VVhere's my love, Boy.

Boy.

She,s coming with a Candle To see our happy prize.

Lur.

I am cruel weary.

Boy.

I cannot blame ye, plate is very heavy To carry without light or help.

Lur.

The fear too At every stumble to be discovered boy, At every cough to raife a Constable, VVell, wee'le be merry now.

Boy.

VVe have some reason; Things compass'd without fear or eminent danger, Are too luxurious sir to live upon. Money and wealth got thus are as full venture, And carry in their nature as much merit As his, that digs 'em out 'oth mine, they last too Season'd with doubts and dangers most delitiously, Riches that fall upon us are too ripe, And dull our appetites.

Lu.

Most learned child.

Enter Mistress.

Mi.

Y'are welcome, where have you left it.

Lu.

in the next room, hard by.

Mi.

Is it plate all.

Lu.

All, all, and Jewels, I am monstrous weary, Prethee let's go to bed.

Mi.

Prethee let's see it first.

Lu.

Tomorrow's a new day sweet.

Mi.

Yes to melt it, But let's agree to night, how it shall be handled, Ile have a new gown.

Sur.

Shat have any thing.

Mi.

And such a riding suite as Mistress Newloves, VVhat though I be no Gentlewoman born, I hope I may atehieve it by my carriage.

Lu.

Thou sayst right.

Mi.

You promis'd me a horse too, and a lackquay.

Lur.

Thou shat have horses six, and a postilion.

Mi.

That will be stately sweet heart a postilion.

Lu.

Nay wee'le be in fashion he shall ride before us In winter, with as much dirt would dampe a musket, The inside of our coach shall be of scarlet.

Mi.

That will be deer.

Lu.

There is a dye projecting Will make it cheape wench, come thou shalt have any thing.

Mi.

Where is this chest, I long sweete to behold Our Jndies.

Boy

Mistresse lets melt it first, and then tis sit You should dispose it, then tis safe from danger.

Mi.

Ile be a loving Mistresse to my boy too. Now fetch it in and lets rejoyce upon't.

Boy.

Hold youre light Mistresse, we may ••••e to enter.

Mi.

Ha whats here? call you this a chest?

Boy

We ha mist sir. Our hast and want of light made us mistake.

Mi.

A very Coffin.

Lu.

How! a Coffin? Boy, Tis very like one.

Boy.

The devill ow'd us a shame, and now he has paid us.

Mi.

Is this your Treasure?

Boy

Bury me alive in't.

Lu.

It may be there is no roome.

Mi.

Nay, I will search it: Ile see what wealth's within,—a womans face, And a faire womans.

Boy.

I cannot tell sir, Belike this was the sadnesse that possest 'em; The plate stood next, I'me Iure.

Lur.

I shake I shake Boy, what a cold sweat—

Boy.

This may worke, what will become on's sir?

Mi.

She is cold, dead cold: de'e find' your conscience, De'e bring your Gillians hither—nay, shee's punish'd, Your conceal'd love's cas'd up?

Lur.

Tis Maria, the very same, the Bride, new horror.

Mi.

These are fine tricks, you hope shee's in a sound, But Ile take order she shall ne'r recover To bore my nose, come, take her up and bury her Quickly, or Ile cry out; take her up instantly.

Lu.

Be not so hasty foole, that may undoe us;

We may be in for murther so; be patient, Thou seest she's dead, and cannot injure thee.

Mi.

I am sure she shall not.

Boy.

Be not sir dejected, Too much a strange mistake! this had not been else, It makes me almost weep to think upon't.

Lu.

What an unluckie theef am I?

Mi.

Ile no considering, either bestir your self, or—

Lu.

Hold.

Mi.

Let it not stay, to smell then, I will not Indure the stink of a Rival.

Lu.

Would twere there agen.

Boy.

We must bury her.

Lur.

But where o'th sudden, or with what providence, That no eyes watch us.

Mi.

Take a Spade and follow me, The next fair ground we meet, make the Church-yard; As I live, Ile see her lodg'd.

Exit.

Lu.

It must be so, How heavy my heart is, I ha no life left.

Boy.

I am past thinking too, no understanding, That I should misse the right Chest.

Lu.

The happy Chest.

Boy.

That, which I saw and markt too.

Lu.

Well passion wo'not help us, Had I twenty fals for this?

Boy,

Twas my fault sir. And twenty thousand fears for this, oth'devil, Now could I curse, well, we have her now, And must dispose her.

Enter Mistresse.

Mi.

Hang both for two blind buzzards, here's a Spade Quickly or Ile call the neighbours. There's no remedy, Would the poor hung••y prisoners had this pastie.

Exeunt.

Enter Iustice, and a Servant with a light.

Ser.

Twas a strange mischance sir.

Iu.

Mischance, saist? No twas happinesse to me, There's so much charge sav'd, I have her portion, Ile marry twenty more on such conditions.

Ser.

Did it not trouble you sir, To see her dead?

Iu.

Not much, I thank my conscience; I was tormented till that happen'd, furies Were in my brain to think my self a Cuckold At that time of the night: When I come home, I charge you shut my doors, Locks, bolts, and barres, are little enough to secure me.

Ser.

Why, and please you?

Iu.

Fool to ask that question; To keep out women, I expect her mother Will visit me with her clamors, oh I hate Their noise, and do abhorre the whole sex heartily; They are all walking Devils, Harpyes, I will study A week together how to raile sufficiently, Upon e'm all, and that I may be furnish'd, Thou shalt buy all the railing Books and Ballads, That Malice hath invented against women, I will read nothing else, and practise 'em, Till I grow fat with curses.

Ser.

If youle go To th'charge, let me alone to find you Books.

Iu.

They come neer us.

Ser.

Whats that?

Iu.

Where? hold up the Torch Knave.

Ser.

Did you hear nothing, 'tis a—

Iu.

Why dost make a stand?

Ser.

Whats that?

Iu.

Where, where, dost see any thing? We are hard by the Church-yard, and I was never Valiant at midnight in s••ch i••ksome places; They say Ghosts walk sometimes, hark, de'e hear nothing?

Enter Lurcher, Boy and Mistresse.

Mi.

No further, dig here, and lay her in quickly.

Lur.

VVhat light is that Boy, we shall be discover'd; Set the Coffin up an end, and get behind me, There's no avoiding.

Boy.

Oh!

Iu.

VVhere's that groan? I begin to be afraid.

Ser.

VVhat shall we do sir?

Iu.

VVe are almost at home now, thou must go forward; Perhaps 'twas my imagination.

Lur.

Tis he?

Boy.

I know him too, let me alone.

Ser.

Oh sir, a Ghost, the very Ghost of Mistresse B••ide,

I have no power to runne away.

Iu.

Cursed Ghost, blesse me, preserve me, I doe command thee what so ere thou art, I doe conjure thee leave me; doe not fright me; If thou beest a divell vexe me not so soone, If thou beest The spirit of my wife.

Boy

Thy wife.

Iu.

I shall be tormented.

Boy.

Thy abus'd wife, that cannot peaceably Enjoy her death, thou hast an evill conscience.

Ju.

Ikow it

Boy.

Among thy other sinnes which blacke thy soule, Call to thy minde thy vow made to another, Whom thou hast wrong'd, and make her satisfaction Now I am dead, thou perjur'd man, or else A thousand black tormentors shall pursue thee, Vntill thou leape into eternall flames; Where gold which thou adorest here on earth Melted, the Fiends shall powre into thy throate; For this time passe; goe home and thinke upon me.

Lur.

Away.

Ser.

There are more spirits.

Iu.

Thanke you deare wife, Ile bestow twentie nobles of a Tombe for thee, Thou shalt not walke and catch cold after death.

They goe Backward in.

Lu.

So, so, they'r gone, twas my ingenious rascal: But how dost know he made vowes to another?

Boy.

I over-heard the women talke to night on't; But now lets lose no time sir, pray lets bury This Gen lewoman, where's my Mistresse?

Enter Mistresse.

Mi.

Here I durst not tarry.

Lu.

we ha so cosen'd the old forty i'••h hundred, And the devill hinder him not, hee'le goe a pilgrimage; But come, about our businesse, set her downe agen.

Mar.

Oh!

Lur.

Shee groanes, ha.

Mar

Oh!

Lur.

Agen, she stirres.

Mi.

Lets fly, or else we shall be torne in peeces.

Lur.

And you be good at that, bury your selfe, Or let the Sexton take ye for his fee,

Away boy.

Exit.

Mar.

I am very cold, dead cold; Where am I? What's this? a Coffin? where have I been? Mercy defend me: Ha, I doe remember I was betrai'd, and swounded; my heart akes, I am wondrous hungry too, dead bodies eate not; Sure I was meant for buriall, I am frozen; Death, 'like a cake of Ice dwells round about me, Darknesse spreads o're the world too, where? what path? Best providence direct me.

Exit.