Directions for the education of a young prince till seven years of age : which will serve for the governing of children of all conditions / translated out of French.

CHAP. VIII. Of Wilfulness.

WIlfulness is the ordinary effect of Pride, a very proud man is always very wil∣ful: for he loves himself so much, and his own conceipts, that he will not part from them, though he find others better; many have no other reason to maintain what they have once said, than because they have said it; and to follow a course, than because they have begun it, from whence ariseth the un∣doing of most proud men. But when Wilfulness keeps Court in a Prince's head, and is armed

with Authority, it produceth dreadful effects; it hath no ears, and breaks all that resist∣eth it, and chuseth rather to sink the Ship, than to stoop the sails. But that passion, so tough when it is old, is easie to be bowed in Children, if it be taken in hand with prudence; for though it be a blustering and bawling passion, it is weak and cowardly, shame will ap∣pease it, and fear will awe it; and if he can but be made be∣lieve he hath what he would have, he is satisfied.

According to the humour of those that have the Education of the Child, the obstinate may become tractable, and the tra∣ctable obstinate: if the Dire∣ctor be of a soft spirit, that yields to an obstinate Child in

all things, his wilfulness wi•…•… get such a head, that it will n•…•… be driven away from the•…•… without great violence: and 〈◊〉〈◊〉 those that are about the Chi•…•… be of a wilful humour them∣selves, and bend themselve sadly against the Childs opini•…•…∣trety, wrangling with him f•…•… every thing, and not yieldin•• to him in any, they will mak•• the Child wilful, if he was no•• before, or had but little incli∣nation to it; for Vices, as wel as Virtues, grow strong by ex∣ercise; Dispute & Contestation is the Delight of Obstinacy.

The first and most ordinary fault is fond tenderness, which spoils many Children; those little Creatures are wilful chief∣ly, because they have not the use of Reason, and are govern∣ed

by Sense in the first years, ••eing very eager after all things ••hat they fancy pleasant, with∣••ut distinction of profitable: ••herefore persons of age are set ••bout them to supply the want ••f Reason, who know what is ••ood for Children, & let them ••ave that only, without respect ••o their appetites: but soft ser∣••ile minds, to whom sometimes ••he Government of high-born Children is committed, seem ••o be without Reason them∣selves, and to have no motion ••ut after the Childs fancy, whose slaves they are: instead of governing him, when the Prince is wilful, mutinous, and disobedient, then they flatter him, beat another Child before him, and give him sweetmeats, or some other fine thing, when

he should have a good Rod, that which is necessary for hi•• health or instruction, is no•• done because my little Maste•• would not: Such leave a hard task to the grave Tutors tha•• shall come after them; fo•• who can finish a work we•…•… that hath been so ill begun? What good can one do with such a Child as hath been made wilful with all the industry tha•• flattery can invent? The vvay to master such a hardned vvil∣fulness are too violent, and no•• to be used to a Prince, vvho ought to brought up vvith much freedom. All is the•• to begin betimes, before Wil∣fulness hath got the Command in the Prince's Head, from the very vveaning of the Child use him to be ruled, sometimes to

be denied things that he would have, make him restore things that he hath taken from ano∣ther, cause him to take what is given him, not what he cries for, let him get nothing by his anger and eagerness. This way a Child will be used be∣fore it be two years old, to do any thing that is desired, with∣out resistance; and to suffer any thing to be done that is ne∣cessary for his good and educa∣tion: make a discreet use of his shamefac'dness, of his fear, and of his desire to get praise, Wilfulness will never appear; and go not out of the good Rules which you have once set down, for Wilfulness is a bold undertaker, where it sees no danger; if it be yielded un∣to to day, to morrow it will

go further, and still get strength: in the beginning it is cowardly, and advanceth with fear till it finds resistance, and then draws back, and comes no more in sight while the difficulty lasteth, and that the Child seeth that it depends on such a person as va∣rieth not from his Resolutions. Let all fondness be banish'd from the Education of a Child; these little people know how to master fondness, they know all the weak sides of it, and under the shelter of fondness they will grow wilful and perverse, given to their pleasure, and not to be ruled.

The opposite humour to fondness, which is imperious∣ness, contention, and contradi∣ction, is yet more dangerous than fondness; a wilful Dire∣ctor

will make a wilful Child. If you cross a Child in small things too much, he will learn to counter check your checking, and to be contentious, and fur∣nish'd with cutting terms: With the froward thou wilt learn frowardness. Let no contenti∣ous person be about him; let none be suffered to dispute with him, or before him; Let the Child see no other face of manners but that of Affability and Complaisance. One can hardly imagine what harm is done a Child by wrangling be∣fore him: That will make a greater impression in his tender mind, than all the good Art used to teach him Civility and Meekness. For that end, the Child should not be opposed in trifles, but when he is set on

them wilfully and sharply, if you will make him tractable, you must not lose your credit with him for a small matter; by giving way to his childish fancies (which time will wear away) you may discover the nature of the Child, and know by what part of his mind you may get the best handles to take and lead him.

If he be at any time in a very wilful fit (as the best Children will have some) he must be corrected for it, but not till the fit be over, and in cold blood; especially if that ill humour take him in company; if then he will not do what is desired, insist no longer upon it; but when he is out of his cross hu∣mour, and retired, then in a cool temper correct him, so

may ye another time with a word or a look keep him in obedience before Strangers. But Remedies of Severity should be very sparingly used to a Prince, onely when there is no other course left; Gene∣rosity must be cherish'd in him, that so there may be little use of Severity. I recommend again, that from his Weaning all good Endeavours be used to make him tractable.