Comedies and tragedies written by Francis Beaumont and Iohn Fletcher ...

Actus tertius

Scaena prima.

Enter Host, Hostesse, and Bianca.

Host.

HAunted, my house is hanted with goblins. I shal be frighted out of my wits, and set up a signe only to invite carriers and Foot-posts; scar-crows to keep off the Cavelrie, and Gentry of the best rank. I will naile up my doors, and wall up my girle (wife) like an Anchoresse; or she will be ravisht before our faces, by rascalls and cacafugo's (wife) cacafugo's.

Hostesse.

These are your In-comes, remember your own proverb, the savour of every gaine smelt sweet; thank no∣body but your selfe for this trouble.

Host.

No gaulling (deere Spouse) no gaulling, every dayes new vexation abates mee two inches in the wast, terrible pennance for an Host, Girle, girle, girle, which of all this gally-maufry of mans flesh appears to∣lerable to thy choice; speak shortly, and speak truly: I must and will know, must and will; here ye that?

Bian.

Sir, be not jealous of my care and duty; I am so far from entertaining thoughts Of liberty, that much more excellent objects Then any of such course contents as these are, Could not betray mine eye to force my heart; Conceive a wish of any deerer happinesse Then your direction warrants. I am yours sir.

Hostesse

What thinks the man now? is not this strange at 13.

Host.

Very good words, ther's a tang in 'em, and a sweet one, tis musicke (wife) and now I come t'ee. Let us a little examine the severall conditions of our Paragraphi∣sticall suitors. The first, a travailing Tailor, who by the mistery of his needle and thimble, hath surveyd the fashi∣ons of the French, and English; this Signior Ginger-bread stitcht up in the shreds of a gaudy outside, sowes lineings with his crosse legd complement, like an Ape doing tricks over a staffe, cringes, and crouches, and kis∣ses his fore-finger.

Hostesse.

Out upon him.

Host.

A second, a lavolteteere, a saltatory, a dancer with a Kit at his bum, one that by teaching great Madonuas to foot it, has miraculously purchast a ribanded wastcote, and foure cleane paire of socks; a fellow that skips as hee walkes, and instead of sensible discourse vents the curi∣ous conceit of some new tune stolne from a Maske, or a bawdie dittie elevated for the Pole Artick of a Ladies chamber, in that fyle stands another of your inamoratoes

Hostesse.

Hang him and his fiddle together, hee never fidles any child of ours.

Host.

The third, a Mongrell, got by a Switzer on an Ita∣lian, this puppy, being left well estated, comes so Flo∣rence, that the world may take notice, how impossible it is for experience to alter the course of nature, a foole (wife) and indeed a Clown turnd gallant, seldom or ne∣ver proves other then a gallant foole, this toy prates to little purpose other then what's a clock, shall's go drink, de'e forsooth, and thank ye heartily; I feare no art in him to catch thee, and yet wee must bee tormented with this buzzard amongst the rest.

Hostesse.

Tis your owne folly, forbid him the house.

Host.

The 4th, a Mule-driver, a stubborn & a harsh knave: the fifth a School-Master, a very amorous Pedant, run al∣most mad with study df Sonnets and Complements out of old play-ends, the last an Advocates clerk, that speaks pure Fustion in Law termes, excellent Courtiers all, and all as neate as a Magnifico's post new painted at his en∣trance to an office; thou shalt have none of 'em. Laugh at 'em doe. I say thou shalt have none of 'em.

Bian.

Still your command to me shall stand a Law.

Host.

Now they throng like so many horse-coursers at a faire, in clusters about the man of art, for love powders, ingredients, potions, counsailes, postures, complements, philters: the devill and the—how now? tumults? batteries, noise? ha, get from my sight.

Clown cries within

Enter Forobosco and Clowne, his head bloody.

Clow.

Murther me, do, pound me to Mummye, doe; see what will come on't.

Foro.

Dog, leave thy snarling, or i'le cut thy tongue out, Thou unlikt beare, darst thou yet stand my fury, My generous rage? yet! by the sulpherous damps That feed the hungry and incessant darknesse, Which curles round the grim Alastors back, Mutter againe, and with one powerfull word, Ile call an Host up from the Stygian lakes, Shall waft thee to the Acherontick fennes; Where choak't with mists as black as thy impostors, Thou shalt live still a dying.

Clow.

Conjure mee to the devill and you can. I live in hell upon earth 'em already, and you had any mercy, you would not practise upon a kind heart thus.

Host.

You have drawne blood from him Signior, Is his offence unpardonable?

Foro.

A lump of ignorance, pray speak not for him, A drowsie grossenesse, in all christian kingdomes, The mention of my art, my name, my practise Merit and glory hath begot at once Delight and wonder; ile not be entreated; Spare intercession for him,—ô thou scorne Of learning, shame of duty; must thy sloth Draw my just fame in question? I discharge thee From my service; see me no more henceforth.

Clow.

Discharge me, is that my yeares wages! Ile not be so answerd.

Foro.

Not Camell, sirra I am liberall to thee; Thou hast thy life, begon.

Clow.

Vengeance, sweet vengeance.

Foro.

Do'e mumble?

Clow.

Ile be revengd, monstrously, sudainly, and insa∣tiably; my bulke begins to swell.

Foro.

Homotolenton, Pragmatophoros, Heliostycorax.

Clow.

Call up your spirits, I defie 'em; well have law for my broken pate, twelve ounces of pure bloud; Troy-weight. In despight of thee my Master, and thy Master the grand devill himselfe, vindicta, vindicta.

—Exit.

Host.

Signior you are exceeding mov'd.

Hostes.

Mercy upon us, what terrible words thou talk't?

Foro.

A slave, a curre—but be not you affrighted Young Virgin, 'twere an injury to sweetnesse: Should any rough sound draw from your cheekes, The pretious tincture which makes nature proud Of her own workmanship.

Host.

Wife, Marke, mark that wife.

Bian.

Shake then your anger off Sir;

Foro.

You command it Faire one, mine Host and Hostesse, with your leaves I have a motion joyntly to you all.

Hostesse.

An honest one I hope.

Host.

Well put in wife.

Foro.

A very necessary one, the Messe Stooles out. And halfe of suiters, that attend tousher Their loves sit reverence to your daughter, waite With one consent, which can best please her eye; In offering at a dance, I have provided Musick. And 'twill be something I dare promise Worthy your laughter, shal they have admittance?

H.

By any means, for I am perswaded the manner will be so Ridiculous, that it will confirm the assurance of their Miserable fooleries, but no longer trouble with 'em here, Then they are in these May-games.

Foro.

So I am resolvd.

Hostesse.

Nor any wise word of sencelesse love.

Foro.

Not any; I have charm'd them, did you see How they prepared themselves, how they stroak up Their foretops, how they justle for the Looking-glasse, To set their Faces by it; You would look for some most impossible antick.

See they muster.

Enter Tailor, Dancer, Mute Driver, Schoole-Master, Clarke: (all with severall papers, and present 'em to Forobosco.)

Host.

So, so, so, so, here flutter the nest of hornets, the hotch-potch of rascallity, now, now, now, now, the dung-hill of corruption hath yawnd forth the burthen of abho∣mination. I am vext, vext to the soule, will rid my house of this unchristend fry, and never open my doores again.

Foro.

Some other time, ile give no answer now, But have preferred your suits, here shew your cunning. First every one in order do his honour To the faire mark you shoot at; courtly, courtly, Convay your severall loves in lively measure: Come, let us take our seates, some sprightly musick.

Host.

Dance all and part, tis a very necessary farewell.

Enter Caesario, They all make ridiculous tonges, to Bianca: ranck them∣selves, and dance in severall postures: during the dance. Enter Caesario, and stands off.

Host.

Well done my lusty blouds, preciously well done, One lusty rouse of wine, and take leave on all sides.

Caesar.

Thanks for your revells Gentlemen; accept This Gold, and drink as freely as you danc'd.

Host.

My noble Lord Cesario, cleer the rooms sirs.

Foro.

Away. Attend your answers.

—Exeunt Foro. and those that Danc'd.

Caesar.

With your favour Rolando, I would change a word or two with your faire daughter.

Host.

At your Lordships pleasure, come wife, no mutte∣ring, have a care girle, my love, service, and duty to your good Lordship.

—Exeunt and Wife.

Caesar.

My often visits (sweet Bianca) cannot But constantly inform thy judgment, wherein Thy happinesse consists, for to steale minutes From great imployments, to converse with beauty, Lodg'd in so meane a fortune, to lay by Consideration of the unequall distance Between my blood and thine, to shun occasions Of courtship with the Ladies of the time: Noble, and faire, only for love to thee, Must of necessity invite a tendernesse; As low as nature could have stampt a bond womans. To entertaine quick motions of rare gratitude For my uncommon favours.

Bian.

Deed my Lord, as far as my simplicity can leade mee, I freely thank your curtesies.

Cesar.

To thank them, is to reward them pretty one.

Bian.

Then teach me How I may give them back again; in truth I never yet receiv'd a paire of Gloves: A trifling ring from any that expected An equall satisfaction, but as willingly I parted with the gift unto the owner, as he bestowd it.

Caesar.

But I pow're before thee Such plenties, as it lyes not in the ability Of thy whole kindred to returne proportionable One for a thousand.

Bian.

You my Lord conclude For my instruction, to ingage a debt Beyond a possibilitie of paiment, I ever thought a sinne; and therefore justly Without conceit of scorne or curious rudenesse, I must refuse your bounty.

Cesar.

Canst thou love?

Bian.

Love! is there such a word in any language That carries honest sence?

Cesar.

Never dwelt ignorance In so sweet-shap't a building, love Bianca, Is that firme knot which tyes two hearts in one, Shall ours be tyed so?

Bian.

Vse a plainer word, My Lord. Insteed of tyes, say marries hearts, Then I may understand.

Cesar.

Their hearts are married Whose enterchange of pleasures and embraces, Soft kisses, and the privacies of sweetes, Keeps constant league together, when temptation Of great mens oathes and gifts shall urge contempt, Rather then batter resolution, novelty Of sights, or taste of new delights in wantonnesse, Breeds surfeit more then appetite in any Reserv'd to noble vowes; my excellent maide Live thou but true to me, and my contents, Mine only, that no partner may pertake The treasure of those sweets thy youth yet glories in And I will raise thy lownesse to abundance Of all varieties, and more triumph In such a mistris, then great Princes doating On truth-betraying wives.

Bian.

Thus to yeeld up then The cottage of my vertue to be swallow'd By some hard-neighboring landlord such as you are Is in effect to love, a Lord so vicious!

O where shall innocence find some poore dwelling Free from temptations tirrany.

Cesar.

Nay prethee;

Byan.

Gay clothes, high feeding, easie beds of lust, Change of unseemly sights; with base discourse, Draw curses on your Pallaces; for my part This I will be confirmd in, I will eate The bread of labour, know no other rest Then what is earnd from honest paines, ere once more Lend eare to your vild toyles; Sir, would you were As noble in desires, as I could be in knowing vertue. Pray doe not afflict a poore soule thus.

Caesar.

I sweare.—to me?

—Bianca steales off.

Gen.

The Duke my Lord commands your speedy presence For answering agreivances late urg'd Against you by your Mother.

Caesar.

By my Mother.

Gent.

The Court is neere on sitting.

Cesar.

I waite on it Sir,

—Exeunt.

Enter Duke, Magistrate, Secretary, Baptista, Atten∣dants, Mentivole: (they sit) Mentivole stands by.

Duke.

What wast of bloud, what tumults, what divisions, What outrages, what uprores in a state, Factions though issuing from meane springs at first Have (not restraind) flowed to, the sad example At Rome betweene the Ʋrsins and Columnies, Nay here at home in Florence, twixt the Neers And the Bianchi can too mainly witnesse. I sit not at the helme (my Lords) of soveraignty Deputed Pilot for the Common-wealth, To sleep whiles others steere (as their wild fancies Shall councell) by the compasse of disorders. Baptista, This short Preface is directed Chiefly to you, the petty brawles and quarrels Late urg'd betwixt th' Alberti and your family Must, yes and shall like tender unknit joynts Fasten againe together of themselves: Or like an angry Chyrurgion, we will use The roughnesse of our justice, to cut off The stubborne rancour of the limbes offending.

Bap.

Most gracious Florence.

Duke.

Our command was signified, That neither of the followers of each party Should appeare here with weapons.

Bap.

Tis obeyd Sir, on my side.

Duke.

We must leave the generall cause Of State employments to give eare to brawles Of some particular grudges, pollitick government For tutord Princes, but no more henceforth.

Ent. Mariana, and Clarissa, at one door Cesario at the other.

Our frowne shall check presumption, not our clemency,

Mari.

All blessings due to unpartiall Princes, Crowne Florence with eternity of happinesse.

Cesar.

If double praiers can double blessings (great Sir) Mine joyne for your prosperity with my mothers.

Duke.

Rise both; now briefly (Lady) without circumstance Deliver those agrievances which lately Your importunity possest our counsaile Were fit for audience, wherein you petitiond, You might be heard without an Advocate Which boone you find is granted.

Mari.

Though divided. I stand between the laws of truth and modesty, Yet let my griefes have vent: Yet the cleernesse Of strange necessity requires obedience To nature and your mercy, in my weeds Of mourning, emblems of too deer misfortunes, Badges of griefes, and Widdowhood, the burthen Of my charg'd soule must be layd downe before you; Wherein if strict opinion cancell shame, My frailty is my plea; Stand forth young man, And heare a story that will strike all reason Into amasement.

Cesar.

I attend.

Mar.

Alberto (peace dwell upon his ashes) still the hus∣band Of my remembrance and unchanging vowes, Has by his death left to his heire possession Of faire revenew, which this young man claymes As his inheritance. I urgd him gently, Friendly, and privately to grant a partage Of this estate to her who ownes it all This his supposed Sister.

Bap.

How supposed?

Cesar.

Pray Madam recollect your selfe.

Mar.

The relish Of a strange truth begins to work like Physick Already: I have bitternesse to mingle With these preparatives, so deadly loathsome; It will quite choake digestion; shortly heare it Cesario, for I dare not rob unjustly The poore soule of his name; this, this Cesario Neither for Father had Alberto, me For Mother, nor Clarissa for his Sister.

Claris.

Mother, ô Mother.

Ment.

I am in a Dream sure.

Duke.

No interruptions. Lady on,

Maria.

How ever

Bap.

A Faulkners sonne:

Mari.

Mistake not Great Duke of Tuscany or the beginning Or processe of this novelty; my husband The now deceasd Alberto, from his youth In-urd to an impatiency, and roughnesse Of disposition, when not many monthes After our marriage were worne out, repin'd At the unfruitfull barrennesse of youth, Which as he pleasd to terme it, cut our hops off From blessing of some issue, to prevent it; I grew ambitious of no fairer honor Then to preserve her love, and as occasions Still call'd him from me, studied in his absence How I might frame his welcome home with comfort. At last I faynd my selfe with child; the Message Of freedome or reliefe to one halfe stervd In prison is not utter'd with such greedinesse; Of expectation and delight as this was To my much affected Lord, his care, his goodnesse; (Pardon me that I use the word) exceeded All former feares, the houre of my deliverance As I pretended drawing nee'r, I fashiond My birth-rights at a Country Garden house, Where then my Faulkners wife was brought a bed Of this Cesario; him I ownd for mine; Presented him unto a joyfull Father.

Duke.

Can you prove this true?

Mari.

Proofes I have most evident; But O the curse of my impatiency; shortly Ere three new Moones had spent their borrowed lights, I grew with child indeed, so just is Heaven, The issue of which burthen was this daughter; Iudge now most gracious Prince my Lords and you, What combats then and since I have indur'd Between a mothers piety and weakenesse Of a Soul trembling wife; to have reveal'd

This secret to Alberto, had bin danger Of ruine to my fame, besides the conflict Of his distractions; now to have supprest it, Were to defeate my child, my only child, Of her most lawfull honors, and inheritance. Caesario, th'art a man still, Education Hath moulded thee a Gentleman, continue so; Let not this fall from greatnesse, sinke thee lower Then worthy thoughts may warrant, yet disclaime All interest in Albertos blood, thou hast not One drop of his or mine.

Duke

Produce your witnesse.

Marian.

The Faulconers wife his mother, And such women as waited then upon me, Sworne to the privacy of this great secret.

Duke.

Give them all their oathes.

Cesar.

O let me crave forberance, gracious Sir, Vouchsafe me hearing.

Duke

Speake Caesario.

Cesar.

Thus long I have stood silent, and with no unwillingnesse, Attended the relation of my fall, From a fair expectation; what I fear'd (Sinc the first sillable this Lady utter'd Of my not being hers) benevolent Fates Have eas'd me off; for to be basely born, If not base-born, detracts not from the bounty Of natures freedom or an honest birth. Nobilitie claym'd by the right of blood, Sh••wes chiefly that our Ancestors desir'd What we inherit; but that man whose actions Purchase a reall merit to himselfe, And rancks him in the file of of prayse and honour, Creates his own advancement; let me want The fuell which best feedes the fires of greatnesse, Lordly possessions, yet shall still my gratitude By some attempts of mention not unworthy Indeavour to returne a fit acquittance To that large debt I owe your favours (Madam) And great Alberto's memory and goodnesse; O that I could as gently shake off passion For the losse of what great brave man as I can shake off Remembrance of that once I was reputed; I have not much to say, this Princely presence Needs not too strictly to examine farther The truth of this acknowlegment; a mother Dares never disavowe her only sonne, And any woman must come short of Piety, That can or dis-inherit her own issue, Or feares the voice of rumor for a stranger. Madam, you have confest, my Father was A servant to your Lord and you: by interest Of being his sonne, I cannot but claime justly The honour of continuing still my service To you and yours; which granted, I beg leave I may for this time be dismist.

Duke

Bold spirit.

Bap.

I love thee now with pitty;

Duke

Goe not yet— A suddain tempest that might shake a rock, Yet he stands firm against it; much it moves me, He not Alberto's sonne, and she a widdow, And she a widdow,— Lords your eare.

Omnes.

Your pleasure.—

Whispers.

Duke.

So, Lady, what you heard avouch't is truth.

Mari.

Truth onely, gracious Sir.

Duke.

Heare then our Sentence. Since from his cradle you have fed and fostered Caesario as your sonne, and train'd him up To hopes of greatnesse; which now in a moment You utterly againe have ruin'd, this way We with our Councell are resolv'd, you being A widdow shall accept him for a husband.

Maria.

Husband to me Sir?

Duke.

T'is in us to raise him To honours, and his vertues will deserve 'em.

Maria.

But Sir, 'tis in no Prince nor his preogative, To force a womans choice against her heart.

Duke.

True, if then you appeale to higher justice, Our doome includes this clause upon refusall Out of your Lords revenues shall Caesario Assure to any whom he takes for wife The inheritance of three parts; the lesse remainer Is dowry large enough to marry a daughter; And we by our prerogative which you question Will publiquely adopt him into'th name Of your deceas'd Alberto, that the memory Of so approv'd a Peer may live in him That can preserve his memory lesse you find out Some other meanes which may as amply satisfie His wrong, our Sentence stands irrevocable: What think you Lords?

Omnes.

The Duke is just and honorable.

Bap.

Let me embrace Caesario, henceforth ever I vow a constant friendship.

Mentivole.

I remit all former difference.

Cesar.

I am too poore In words to thanke this Iustice. Madam alwayes My studies shall be love to you, and duty. Duke Replyes we admit none. Caesario waite on us.

Exeunt. Manent Mentivole, Bap. Mari. Claris.

Bap.

Mentivole.

Menti.

My Lord.

Bap.

Looke on Clarissa, shee's noble, rich, young, faire.

Mentivole.

My Lord, and vertuous.

Bap.

Mentivole and vertuous.—Madam.

Maria.

Tyranny of justice, I shall live reports derision, That am compeld to exchange a gracefull widdow-hood For a continuall Martyrdome in marriage, With one so much beneath me.

Bap.

I'le plead for ye Boldly and constantly, let you•• daughter only Admit my sonne her servant, at next visit Madam ile be a messenger of comfort. Mentivole, be confident and earnest.

Exit.

Maria.

Married again, to him too! better t'had been The young man should have still retain'd the honors Of old Albertos son, then I the shame Of making him successor of his bed; I was too blam,

Ment.

Indeed without offence, Madame I thinke you were,

Claris.

You urge it fairely, and like a worthy freind.

Maria.

can you say any thing In commendation of a Mushroome withered Assoone as started up?

Ment.

You scorne an Innocent Of noble growth, for whiles your husband liv'd I have heard you boast Cesario in all actions Gave matter of report of Imitation, Wonder and envy; let not discontinuance Of some few dayes estrange a sweet opinion Of vertue, cheifely when in such extremity, Your pitty not contempt will argue goodnesse.

Maria.

O Sir,

Cla.

If you would use a thriving courtship, You cannot utter a more powerfull language That I shall listen to with greater greedinesse Then th'argument you prosecute; this speakes you A man compleat and excellent;

Ment.

I speake not, they are his owne deserts.

Maria.

Good Sir forbeare, I am now fully sensible of running Into a violent Lethargy, whose deadlinesse Locks up all reason, I shall never henceforth Remember my past happinesse.

Ment.

These clouds may be disperst,

Maria.

I feare continuall night Will over-shroud me, yet poore youth his trespasse Lies in his fortune, not the cruelty Of the Dukes sentence.

Cla.

I dare thinke it does,

Maria.

If all faile I will learne thee to conquer Adversity with sufferance.

Ment.

You resolve Nobly.

Exeunt.