Comedies and tragedies written by Francis Beaumont and Iohn Fletcher ...

Scoena Secunda.

Enter two Gentlewomen.

1.

But yfaith dost thou think my Lady was never in love?

2.

I rather think she was ever in love: in perfect charity.

1.

I meane, with all the world.

2.

A most christian answer I promise you: but I meane in Love with a man.

2.

With a man? what els? wouldst have her in love with a beast?

1.

You are somewhat quick: but if she were, it were no President; did, you never read of Europa the fair, that leapt A bull, that lept the Sea, that swoom to land, and then leapt her?

2.

Oh heavens, a bull?

1.

Yes, a white bull.

2.

Lord, how could she sit him? where did she hold?

1.

Why, by the horn: since which time, no woman (almost) is Contented, till she have a horne of her own, to hold by.

2.

Thou art very knavish.

1

And thou very foolish: but sirah, why dost not thou marry?

2.

Because I would be no mans looking-glasse?

1.

As how?

Oriana ready above

2.

As thus, there is no Wife, if she be good, and true, will honour, and obey, but must reflect the true coun∣tenance of her husband upon him; if he looke sad up∣on her, shee must not looke merrily upon him: if he looke merrily, shee must not sorrowfully, else she is a false glasse, and fit for nothing but breaking; his anger must be her discontent; his pleasure, her delight: if he weep, she must cry: if he laugh, she must show her teeth; if hee bee sick, shee must not bee in health; if hee eate Cawdles, she must eate pottage, shee must have no proper passion of her owne; and is not this a ty∣rany?

1.

Yes, yfaith, Marriage may well be called a yoak; Wives then are but like superficiall lines in Geometry, that have no proper motion of their own, but as their bodies their husbands move; yet I know some Wives, that are never freely merry, nor truly pleased, but when they are farthest of their husbands.

2.

That's because the Moon governes 'em which hath most light and shines brightest, the more remote it is from the Sun; and contrary is more sullen, dim, and showes least splendor, when it is neerest.

1.

But if I were to marry I would marry a faire effeminate foole.

2.

Why?

1.

Because I would lead the blind whether I list.

2.

And I the wisest man I could get for money, because I had rather follow the cleer-sighted: blesse me from a husband That sales by his Wives compasse?

1.

Why?

2.

Why, tis ten to one but she breaks his head in her youth, and when she is old shee'l never leave till she has broke his back too —

But what scurvy Knight have you here in Malta, &c.

Zan.

Hist, wenches: my Lady cals, she's entring The Tarrasse, to see the show.

1.

Oh black pudding.

2.

My little labour in vaine.

1.

But what scurvy Knights have we here in Malta, that when they are dubd take their oath of allegeance to live poore, and chastly ever after?

2.

'Faith many Knights in other Nations (I have heard) are as poore as ours: marry where one of 'em has taken the Oath of chastity, we want a new Columbm to find out.

Exeunt.