The second part of the history of the valorous and witty knight-errant, Don Quixote of the Mançha. Written in Spanish by Michael Ceruantes: and now translated into English

CHAP. XIII.

Where the Aduenture of the Knight of the Wood is prosecu∣ted, with the discreete, rare, and sweete Coloquie, that passed betwixt the two Squires.

THE Knights and their Squires were deuided; these tel∣ling their liues, they their loues: and thus sayth the Sto∣rie, that the Squire of the wood said to Sancho, It is a cumbersome life that we leade, S^r, we, I say, that are Squires to Knights Errant: for truly we eate our bread with the sweat of our browes, which is one of the curses, that God laid vpon our first parents. You may say also (added Sancho) that we eate it in the frost of our bodies: for who endure more heates and colds, then your miserable Squires •…•… Knights Errant? and yet not so bad if we might eate at all, for good fare lessens care: but some∣times it happens, that we are two daies without eating, except it be the ayre that blowes on vs. All this may be borne (quoth he of the wood) with the hope we haue of reward: for if the Knight Errant whom a Squire serues, be not two vnfortunate, he shall, with a little good hap, see himselfe rewarded with the gouernment of some Isalnd, or with a reasonable Earledome. I (said Sancho) haue often told my Master, that I would content my selfe with the gouernment of any Island, and he is so Noble and Liberall, that he hath often promised it me. I (said he of the Wood) for my seruices would be satisfied, with some Ca∣nonrie, which my Master too hath promised me.

Your Master indeed (said Sancho) belike is an Ecclesiasticall Knight, and may doe his good Squires these kindnesses: but my Master is meerely Lay, though I remember, that some persons of good discretion (though out of bad intention) counselled him, that he should be an Archbishop: which he would not be, but an Emperour: and I was in a bodily feare, lest he might haue a minde to the Church, because I held my selfe vncapable of be∣nefits by it: for let me tell you, though to you I seeme a man, yet in Church matters I am a very beast. Indeed, S^r, (said he of the

Wood) You are in the wrong: for your Island-Gouernments are not al so special, but that some are crabbed, some poore, some distastefull; and lastly, the stateliest and best of all brings with it a heauy burden of cares and inconueniences, which hee (to whom it falls to his lot) vndergoes. Farre better it were, that we, who professe this cursed slauery, retire home, and there en∣tertaine our selues with more delightfull exercises, to wit, hun∣ting and fishing; for what Squire is there in the world so poore, that wants his Nag, his brace of Grey-hounds, or his Angle-rod, to passe his time with, at his Village?

I want none of this (sayd Sancho:) true it is, I haue no Nag, but I haue an Asse worth two of my Masters Horse: An ill Christmas God send mee, (and let it be the next ensuing) if I would change for him, though I had foure bushels of barley to boot: you laugh at the price of my Dapple, for dapple is the co∣lour of mine Asse: well, Grey-hounds I shall not want neither, there being enow to spare in our towne; besides, the sport is best at another mans charge.

Indeed, indeed, S^r. Squire (sayd he of the Wood) I haue pro∣posed and determined with my selfe, to leaue these bezelings of these Knights, and returne to my Village, and bring vp my children, for I haue three, like three Orient-pearles. Two haue I (sayd Sancho) that may bee presented to the Pope in person, especially one, a wench, which I bring vp to bee a Countesse (God saue her) although it grieue her mother. And how olde (asked he of the Wood) is this Lady-Countesse that you bring vp so?

Fifteene, somewhat vnder or ouer (sayd Sancho) but she is as long as a lance, and as fresh as an Aprill-morning, and as sturdy as a Porter. These are parts (sayd he of the Wood) not onely for her to be a Countesse, but a Nymph of the Greeny Groue: Ah whoreson, whore, and what a sting the Queane hath? To which (quoth Sancho somewhat musty) Shee is no whore, nei∣ther was her mother before her, and none of them (God wil∣ling) shall be, as long as I liue: and I pray, Sir, speake more man∣nerly: for these speeches are not consonant from you, that haue beene brought vp amongst Knights Errant, the flowers of cour∣tesie.

Oh (sayd he of the Wood) S^r. Squire, how you mistake, and how little you know what belongs to praising: what? haue yee neuer obserued, that when any Knight in the market-place giues the Bul a sure thrust with his lance, or when any body doth a thing well, the common people vse to say; Ah whore••on whoremaster, how brauely he did it? so that, that which seemes to be a dispraise, in that sence is a notable commendation, and renounce you those sonnes and daughters, that doe not the workes, that may make their parents deserue such like praises. I doe renounce (sayd Sancho) and if you meant no other wise; I pray you clap a whole whore-house at once vpon my wife and children; for all they doe or say, are extremes worthy of such praises, and so I may see them, God deliuer me out of this mor∣tall sinne, that is, out of this dangerous profession of being a Squire, into which I haue this second time incurred, being in∣ticed and deceiued with the purse of the hundred duckats, which I found one day in the heart of Sierra Morena, and the Deuill cast that bag of Pistolets before mine eyes: (me thinkes) euery foot I touch it, hugge it, and carry it to mine house, set leases, and rents, and liue like a Prince, and still when I thinke of this, all the toyle that I passe with this Block-head my Ma∣ster, seems easie and tolerable to me, who (I know) is more mad∣man then Knight.

Heereupon (sayd he of the Wood) it is sayd; that, All couet, all lose: And now you talke of mad-men, I thinke, my Master is the greatest in the world, he is one of them that cries, Hang sor∣row; and that another Knight may recouer his wits, hee'l make himselfe mad, and will seeke after that, which perhaps once found, will tumble him vpon his snowt. And is hee amorous haply? Yes (sayd hee of the Wood) hee loues one Casildea de Vandalia, the most raw and most rosted Lady in the world; but she halts not on that foot of her rawnesse, for other manner of impostures doe grunt in those entrailes of hers, which ere long will be knowne.

There is no way so plaine (quoth Don Quixote) that hath not some rubbe, or pit, or as the Prouerbe goes, In some houses they seethe beanes, and in mine whole kettles full. So madnesse hath

more companions, and more needie ones then wisedome. But if that which is commonly spoken be true, that to haue compa∣nions in misery is a lightner of it, you may comfort me, that serue as sottish a Master I doe. Sottish but valiant, (answered he of the wood) but more knaue then foole or then valiant. It is not so with my Master, said Sancho: for he is ne're a whit knaue; rather he is as dull as a Beetle, hurts no-body, does good ••o all, he hath no malice, a childe will make him beleeue tis night at noone day: and for his simplicitie, I loue him as my heart∣strings, and cannot finde in my heart, to leaue him for all his fopperies. For all that, Brother and friend, (said he of the wood) if the blinde guide the blinde, both will be in danger to fall into the pit.

Tis better to retire faire and softly, and returne to our loued homes: for they that hunt after Aduentures, doe not alwaies light vpon good. Sancho spit often, and as it seemed, a kinde of glewy and dry matter: which noted by the charitable wooddy Squire, he said, Me thinkes, with our talking, our tongues cleane to our roofes: but I haue suppler hangs at the pummell of my horse, as good as touch: and rising vp, he returned presently with a Borracha of wine, and a bak't meate, at least halfe a yard long, and it is no lye, for it was of a Parboiled Cony so large, that Sancho, when he felt it, thought it had beene of a Goate, and not a Kid: which being seene by Sancho, he said, And had yee this with you too, S^r? Why, what did yee thinke (said the o∣ther) doe you take me to be some hungry Squire? I haue better prouision at my horses crupper, then a Generall carries with him vpon a March. Sancho fell to, without inuitation, and champed his bits in the darke, as if he had scraunched knotted cordes, and said, I marry, S^r, you are a true Legall Squire, round and sound, Royall and Liberall (as appeares by you feast) which if it came not hither by way of Enchantment, yet it seemes so at least, and like no vnfortunate wretch, that only car∣ry in my wallets, a little Cheese, so hard, that you may breake a Gyants head with it, & only some doozens of Saint Iohns Weed leaues, and some few Walnuts, and small nuts, (plentie in the strictnesse of my Master, and the opinion he hath) and the me∣thod

he obserues, that Knights Errant must only be maintained and sustained onely with a little dry fruit, & sallets. By my faith (Brother) replide he of the wood, my stomacke is not made to your thistles, nor your stalkes, nor your mountaine-roots: let our Masters deale with their opinions, and their Knightly sta∣tutes, and eate what they will, I haue my cold meates, and this bottle hanging at the pummel of my saddle, will he, or nill he: which I reuerence and loue so much, that a minute scarce passeth me, in which I giue it not a thousand kisses & embraces. Which said, he gaue it to Sancho, who rearing it on end at his mouth, looked a quarter of an houre together vpon the Starres: and when he had ended his draught, he held his necke on one side, and fetching a great sigh, cryes, Oh whoresoone raskal, how Catholike it is. Law yee there (said he of the wood) in hearing Sancho's whoresoone, how you haue praised the wine, in calling it whoresoone? I say (quoth Sancho) that I confesse, that I know it is no dishonour to call any bodie whoresoone, when there is a meaning to praise him. But tell me, S^r, by the remembrance of her you loue best, is this wine of a Ciuidad Reall? A braue taste (said he of the wood:) it is no lesse, and it is of some yeeres stan∣ding too. Let me alone (said Sancho) you could not but thinke I must know it to the height. Doe not you thinke it strange, S^r Squire, that I should haue so great, and so naturall an instinct, in distinguishing betwixt wines, that comming to smell any wine, I hit vpon the place, the grape, the sauour, the lasting, the strength, with all circumstances belonging to wine? But no marueile, if in my linage by my fathers side, I had two of the most excellent tasters that were knowne in a long time in Man∣cha: for proofe of which, you shall know what befell them.

They gaue to these two some wine to taste out of a Hogs∣head, asking their opinions, of the state, qualitie, goodnesse or badnesse of the wine: the one of them prooued it with the tip of his tongue, the other only smelt to it. The first said, that that wine sauoured of yron. The second said, Rather of goats leather. The owner protested, the Hogshead was cleane, and that the wine had no kinde of mixture, by which it should receiue any sauour of yron or leather. Notwithstanding, the two famous

tasters stood to what they had said. Time ran on, the wine was sold, and when the vessell was cleansed, there was found in it a little key, with a leatherne thong hanging at it. Now you may see, whether he that comes from such a race, may giue his opini∣on in these matters.

Therefore I say to you (quoth he of the wood) let vs leaue looking after these Aduentures, and since we haue content, let vs not seeke after dainties, but returne to our cottages, for there God will finde vs, if it be his will. Till my Master come to Sa∣ragosa, I meane (quoth Sancho) to serue him, and then weele all take a new course. In fine, the two good Squires talked and dranke so much, that it was fit sleepe should lay their tongues, and slake their thirst, but to extinguish, it was impossible; so both of them fastned to the night emptie bottle, and their meate scarce out of their mouthes, fell asleepe: where for the present wee will leaue them, and tell what passed betweene the two Knights.

Notes

• A place in Spaine that hath excel∣lent wines.