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ELeuenthly: You remember the saying; Schola crucis, Schola lucis. The Schoole of Tribulation is the Schoole of Edification. The Graecian Pro∣uerb is like it, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. Those things that trou∣ble vs, teach vs. You may perhaps learne more out of this Affliction, then prosperi∣ty euer could teach you in all your life. This may make you looke into your Conscience,
examine the state of your soule, weepe your owne De∣seruings, and iustifie God in all his Doings; and in this Parti∣cular, though the waight were doubled & trebled vpon you. Pray that these effects may be wrought in you.
These will proue salubres cogitationes, lacrymae beatae, verni imbres; holsome Meditations, Teares of Grace, Aprill showres, which will cause the flowres of Consolation to spring vp in your heart.
When I lost the better halfe of my selfe, (the Best of Wiues, such a One, as euen by wish∣ing could hardly haue beene exceeded, the Country that bred her, being left poore of such another;) Pectore concepi nil nisi triste meo: You can iudge (for your hand dropt the first
Balsome into my wound) whe∣ther there were not cause for my Brest to bee full fraught, bursting-ripe, with Anguish and Dolour?
And how long had the wound beene kept rawe, if I had wilfully insisted here, and sate onely plodding, and showring Teares vpon my Losse?
But when at length (almost too late) I turn'd away from Nature, and humane Reason, (ill aduising Friends in this Time and Occasion) to Religion, and considered this Crosse as the Rod of God for my many many sinnes; That it was not a beating vpon the Coates, but laid on in good earnest, with a prouoked angry hand; That he was constrained to runne this rugged Race with me;
Though my Griefe were not lessened by this consideration, yet it began to be turned into a righter Channell.
Recenti Malo, priorum quo{que} admonemur. The fresh Euill which I suffred, laid fresh be∣fore mee former Euils I had done. And where before I grieued for the suffring, now my griefe was to haue deser∣ued so to suffer.
Here was sorrow changed into sorrow; worldly sorrow for a Precious, but Temporall Losse, into godly Sorrow to Repentance, neuer to bee re∣pented off. Dolor ipse iam volup∣tas erat. There was now a kinde of pleasure in these bri∣nish drops.
Now began Nature to bee content to wipe her Eyes, and Reason, that suggested the va∣lue
of such a Iewell, to lay her hand vpon her Mouth; and the golden Morne of Comfort to dawne to me.
Now I found it true, That God will not alway be chiding, nor keepeth his anger for euer. That his correcting is not to destru∣ction, but to saue vs from be∣ing destroyed and condemned with the World. Hee chastens vs, to amend vs, and amends vs, to saue vs. When we stoope, he is appeased. Discipline goes be∣fore, but pardon followes after.
Now I willingly kist the Rod, that beat me neerer to Heauen and God; and blest the Occasion, that led mee from sorrow to sorrow, that I might arriue at true and sound Ioy.
O how good was it for me to be so afflicted! Out of the Eater came
meate, and out of the Strong came sweetnesse. According to the measure of our sorrow, so is his Consolation.
Finally, now I saw how grossely passion had made my thoughts ouershoote before; not onely in wronging her happy soule, by so often wish∣ing her againe in these Elements of sorrow, who walkes arme in arme with Angels; but euen in charging God foolishly, (par∣don me, O blessed Fountaine of long suffring and Goodnes) as ouer-cruell and rigorous to his Creature, (rauishing our Comforts from vs, then, when wee had cause to hold them closest to our bosome; delight∣ing, sporting in our vn-resista∣ble miseries and ill-turnes;) who indeed of very faithfulnesse had caused me to be troubled.
O what a Foole, a Franticke, a wild prodigious thing is Man thus transported, till God vouchsafe his finger, to temper, and tune him right againe!
This End the Lord in his mercy made for Mee; This was the Method of my Cure, the Crop and Haruest of my sowing in Teares; And my Wish & Hope is, that by his Blessing, Yours may be like.
Plin.
Cypr.
Psal. Iudg.