A subtill practise, vvrought in Paris by Fryer Frauncis who to deceiue Fryer Donnet of a sweet skind nun which he secretly kept, procured him to go to Rome, where he tolde the Pope a notable lie concerning the taking of the king of France prisoner by the Duke de Mayne: for which, they whipt ech other so greeuously in Rome, that they died thereof within two dayes after.

I Haue at length (gentle cosen) obtay∣ned some leisure to acquaint you with the condition of my welfare, which I assure you to be farre better, then the vsuall vncertainty of a traueller. For departing out of England vnder the right Honorable the Lord Willough∣bies protection, we happily arriued at Déepe in France within a little while after, whence marching vnto the frontiers of the enemy, we shared our fortunes in those famous atchieuements that atten∣ded the stations of the inuincible Henry of Burbon, which hot pursuite of Honor once slackte, I tooke my way to Caen in Normandy, where I haue remained euer since, in what state you may imagine by my old wonte, merry I thanke God, how euer the deuill now and then, somewhat youthfully dispo∣sed makes a dauncing schoole in the bottome of my purse for a whole wéeke together. But thats but Fortune de la guerre, as the knaue of clubbes said when he was banisht the Towne, Wherefore to come to the purpose of my promise at our par∣ting, (which was to send you such newes as this Countrey brought forth) so it is that since the late battaile wee haue had nothing worth the noting, saue onely this, which is pleasaunt to some, though irkesome to others. At what time the king lay in leaguer of Paris against the dastard traytor de Mayn, the said recreant Duke had amongst his holy orders two wel-fedde Friers, whereof the one was his baudy ghostly father, and principal confessor, the other was his chuffe-headed Chap∣laine, and chiefe shaueling in ordinary. The first of them (whom they hight Frier Donnet) was in loue with a smugge fast Nunne, about some ninetéene yeares of age, as good a wench as euer harde Masse at high midnight, which fat Fran∣cis

espying (for so was the younger called) began likewise to licke his lippes after her, and slauer out his loue in sighs as well as he coulde, but séeing no way to compasse it, as long as his better was in place, and considering what infinite store of Crownes olde Donnet coffered vppe by confessing in the time of the Parisians distresse, and what credite he was in with the Duke, he cast a thousand plattes in his heade, how to displace him of all thrée at once, but none of them all woulde come off halfe roundly to his contentment a long time. In the end it so fell out that Mounsieur Scackerton to reuenge his fathers death, made a little breache into the Citty, and with some few of his followers slewe many of the League then fast a sléepe, in which confused conflict, there was such a monstruous hurly-burly in the Citty, that all the towne was in an vprore, and know not what should become of them. Amongest them that feared most was this foresaid Nun with breathlesse Donnet, that had her in shrift betwixt the shéetes at the selfe same hour, which made the quaking Frier call to his fellowe Francis ly∣ing in the next chamber, and asked him what was the reason of that turmoile, who aunswered he knew not as yet, but hee would goe and enquire, within halfe an houre after, hee came in blowing and puffing, and told him a long tale of a tubbe, how the King entring the Citty, was taken by a common souldiour, and presented as prisoner to the Duke de Maine, as then in the market place. Now saies he brother Donnet if you will winne your spurs for euer, and behaue your selfe like a right man of God in déede, get you packing presently to Rome, and be the first that shall tell his holinesse of this good seruice, so shal you both come to excéeding promotion your selfe, and be able to pleasure all your friends as you list. The rauisht Frier ouerioyed with this oportunity, and gréedy of Honour and thankes which he hoped to reape by his message, made no more adoe but resigned his office, and sister in bedde to Frier Francis both at once, saying if he neuer returned his was the gaine, for he knew by inspiration, that great was the preferment which tended his newes. Francis excused himselfe that the charge was ouermighty for him to go through with, and that there were many fitter men to vnder goe it then hee,

yet thrice it had pleased him of his owne frée motion, to make ••ho•••• of him before all other, he woulde endeuour to discharge it as well as he could. Many wordes of kindnesse to this ef∣fect past betwixt them, but the night farre spent and Donnet in hast of his iourney, reacht his pigsney a dry kisse, and so de∣parted through Aix, by shipping to ••heithen, and from thence tooke poste to Rome, where he was no sooner alighted, but he roused vp his reuerence, and new gla•••…•••… h•••• lippes with the lin∣nen, that he might kisse the Popes toe with commendation, wherein hée failed not a whitte, for méeting his holinesse as he went to Sainct Peters to heare masse, he ••••••kt downe so low as his garters would let him, and with a •••••…•••••…es mouth let flye at his slipper. Then began he with a 〈8… letters〉〈8… letters〉es grace to dis∣course the late conquest of Leaguer de Maine, against that Huguenot Henry of Burbon, who in a single combate had o∣uercome him, and took him prisoner most brauely, to the great aduantage of the sea Apostolicke, and vtter discom••••••…••••••… of all vsurping heretickes, amplifying by the way of an ••onicall Prosopopeia, what despayring lamentations were made for him, by the English excommunicats, and the outlawes of Ge∣neua, and in the Epilogue of his eloquence, her protested such allegeance, as if he woulde dispute with the deuill in defence of the papacy. The gorgeous controuler of Princes that al this while had attended his speach, attracted such inward ioy from this tale of successe, that he commanded Masse to bée sung in e∣uery church, bone-fires to bée made in the stréetes, and a so∣lemne procession to bée held throughout Rome, in which hée himselfe marcht along to Sainct Angelos, vnder a rich cana∣py supported by foure Cardinals, sprinkling the beholders with holy water all the way hee went. Neither was Donnet a small property in this pageant, for hee had the bearing of the principallest Crosse that day, allotted him in honor of his tra∣uaile, whiles these things thus were a doing in Italy, the King entred battaile with de Maine, and by the won••••rful working of Heauen, (as it is not vnknowen in England) chased him the fielde, and made him retire for rescue to Mentz, in the ha∣bite of a common souldier, where it is saide hée tooke sanctua∣ry. Through which accidentall mishappe Frier Francis with

his Nunne now put to their shifts, and not hearing what was become of the Duke, determined to try the courtesie of other Countryes, since they found so little safety in their owne. But amorous Brigetta, that longed after the first customer, per∣suaded him to conuert his course vnto Rome, whereto he easely condiscended. As they were thus on their way, the Duke du Maine, despairing in his auckward procéedings, and quite con∣founded in his forlorne cheualry, wrote lamentable letters to his holinesse, by one Mounsier Belowe a frenche man, wher∣in he passionately reported his ill fortune, and dismall discomfi∣ture, cursing the starres that did boade him such bitter mishap, and the day that gaue light to that luckelesse disgrace. These letters came to the Pope in the middest of this triumphes and honors done to Frier Donnet, that now was in good hope to bée Cardinall. But he came short of his longing, for when his beatitude beheld this balefull discourse, and with throbbing heart had perused those pitifull contents, hée called me his mes∣senger in question, who with trembling told him, that whatso∣euer he had reported procéeded from one Frier Francis, that had thus informed him, and that he knewe of nothing but by him. By this time was the saide Francis with his Nunne come to Rome, and there thought to anchor secure from all en∣combraunces of warre, but alacke for pitty, that might not be, his partner had espide him, and hée must needes come before the Pope, wher being examined vpon the cause and the Dukes letter showne in the nicke, he was so confounded in his fiue sen∣ses, that straight he confessed all the knauery, and appealed to the court for mercy. Yet notwithstanding there conioyned submission, they were adiudged for penaunce of their presump∣tion, to goe barefoote and barelegde through Rome, and whip eache other with whippes of wier vppe and downe the Citty, which the day following hée performed very faithfully. For Frier Donnet angerd at the heart at Frier Francis, to heare his treacherous conueyance about the Nunne, curst him selfe a thousand times that he had not a two hand whippe to tor∣ment him, yet with that short weapon that he had, hée belabo∣red him indifferently, and Francis on the other side wounded him with his wiry wasters so wel fauoredly, that his back spat

bloud in his face at euery stripe he gaue him, who so hath séene two iackes in a clockhouse striking hie noone with their oppo∣site hammers may well conceiue this anticke resemblance. Donnet he behaued himselfe like an old Fencer, that fetcheth his blow with a flourish, one while setting his right legge for∣ward as though he lay at back-sworde, he would ayme at a boane in stead of a button, anotherwhile framing his toe to the turne, he would bring his whippe about his head with a whiske, and peirce through his thicke skinne coate into the in∣ner regions of his ribbes. Francis thinking this was verie foule play to come behind a man and strike him like a coward, and finding by proofe howe painefull it was to daunce to this thrée stringed musicke, raysed vp himselfe on all tenne like a gander, and gaue him such an item ouer the shoulders, that he had littie néede of any other Phlebothome in two monethes after, for it came so edglong, that it discarded all the skin from the necke to the middle, and put Donnet besides his fence with the suddaine amazement, yet casting his eies on his swéete Nun that went along by them he fell to it a fresh, & made such furrous in his fat brothers flesh, as a man might haue séene through the flesh to the bones: and he likewise layde such load on my confessors curets, that he lost aboue two lash of wire in the loynes of his backe, whose rawbond ridges shewed in all pointes so like a redde lattice, that if a tincker had séene them he would vndoubtedly haue mistooke him for an alehouse. To be short, in this mutuall combat continued they for the space of thrée houres, till the wearinesse of their strength and extremi¦tie of anguish, constrayned them to rest. But so vnspeakeable was their paine (as it is reported héere in Caen) that what with sorrow for their fault, & shame of their punishment they dyed within two daies after. Thus haue you heard in as briefe sort as I could, the cometragicall historie of these vnfortunate Fryers, which is so laughed at here, and so much moned elsewhere. When I haue more newes I will send you more, in the meane time be merry with this, which I assure you for the substance of it is true, although it faile in some circūstance, and so for this time I take my leaue, hoping to sée you ere long in England.

From Caen in Normandie

by your friend.

L. R.

FINIS.