A discourse, of marriage and vviuing and of the greatest mystery therein contained: how to choose a good wife from a bad. An argument of the dearest vse, but the deepest cunning that man may erre in: which is, to cut by a thrid betweene the greatest good or euill in the world. Pertinent to both sexes, and conditions, as well those already gone before, as shortly to enter this honest society. By Alex. Niccholes, Batchelour in the art he neuer yet put in practise.

CHAP. XII. The patterne of a bad husband, and a good wife, in two Letters instanced.

1 LETTER.

FAIRE Mistresse, what so long I haue expected, And till this oportunity neglected, Is now so happened as it would inuite Mee to enioy my absolute delight. Your husband absent, and your seruants gone, And you, but with your Maide, left all alone. Where least sad Care, or Melancholy grieue you, My best endeuour's ready to releiue you. What Female Comfort can one woman finde, Within the bed with other woman-kinde? What tedious gate the yrksome howers do keepe, When there's no ioy to wake, no minde to sleepe? Besides, the fearefull terrours of the night, Which women and weake minds do much affright: All which, faire loue, if you'le be rul'd by mee, Wee will conuert so farre from what they bee That those which now are bitter for to thinke, Shall taste like Nectar that the Gods do drinke. The strangest Monster that was euer bred, That Seas haue nourisht or else Desart fed, Transported from his solitary den, A common obiect to the sight of men, Looseth his admiration and delight, In little time, and pleaseth not our sight: Our Appetite, the Viand nere so good, Cloyd with one Dish will soone distast her Food; That Musick of all other best wee deeme, If euer in one Key we harsh esteeme: Mans nature doth desire to heare and try Thinges that are new, to tast variety;

And I of Woemen this opinion hold, They are not much in loue with things are old, Which makes mee thus more boldly to discouer My selfe vnto you, your new friend and louer: In hope to be accepted, for whose pleasure, I'le spend my best life, and my deerest treasure. Obiect not you already are inioy'd, VVith Venus pleasures dul'd and ouercloid. VVhy ioyfull Widdowes when their husbands die Might this obiect, but yet you see they try; Because they thinke variety of men, May make old pleasures new delights agen. Shee that contents her selfe with any one, For many nights as well might lie alone. Lesse difference is not twixt the virgine life, And state of pleasure, being cald to wife Then is betweene the Elizeum of one Bed, That crosly fated, to that's largely-sped. I haue a wife my selfe, I tell you true, Yet in the old kind seeke for pleasures new: Taking not now delight that I haue tooke, To shake the Tree that I so oft haue shooke. VVee see in any Country that we dwell, The Aire the Earth, nay All that others tell: Yet notwithstanding 'tis our commonst fashions, To seeke out other Kingdomes other Nations. Each woman doth abridge all woman-kinde, But yet one woman fits not each mans minde: Nor euery man, experience too too common, Can fit, can please, or satisfie each woman. Since then the Sence, the Appetite and minde, In fresh variety all pleasure finde; Let vs then meete all nice respects to smother, And fully satisfie and ioy each other: So shall I rest by your obligement due, A secret friend and faithfull seruant true.

The world can iudge no further then it spies, And where we act shall be from sight of eyes, Windowes nor wals, can neither heare nor see, And for the bed 'tis tride for secresy: Then seeme but chaste, which is the chiefest part, For what wee seeme each sees, none knowes the heart. And so your husband, and the world will deeme, You to be that you are not, but do seeme. Your husband hee's abroad, where I'me affray'd He hath deserued to be so appay'd. My Chaine heere take you, weare it for my sake, And as you finde me yours account so make. And here's my Ring in earnest of a friend, The latest Token that my Wife did send. And here's my Purse, within it store of Gold, Able to batter downe the strongest Hold: Your dainty lymbes shall be more neatly clad, In costlier Rayment then they erst haue had: And for your stomacke it shall not disgest Any thing, but the rarest, and the best. These daily from me with a pleasing cheare, Which husbands grutch to part with once a yeare. Though for their maintenance I sell my land, Disherite heyres for that I will not stand: So you be mine in that sence I conceiue you, Which till your answere manifest, I leaue you.

HER REPLY.

ABused sir, much grieu'd am I to see, That you so long haue tarried Time and Mee, And now when both your good seeme to conspire, They should in no sort answere your desire: My husbands absence seemeth to import In your conceite some hope to scale his fort;

But know by that you small aduantage finde, For he is alwaies present in my minde: The thought of whom, what ere his person bee, Is able to repulse your battery. And for the howres that you so tedious deeme, That by your presence would so shortned seeme: I cannot tell with others what 't might do, With me 'twould rather make one houre seeme two: And for the fearefull terrours of the night, What could affright me worse then would your sight. My Maid and I, a pleasure not repented, Will tell old Stories long ago euented To passe the time, or when such watch we keepe, Wee'le thinke good thoughts, or pray vntill we sleepe: For know my vntainted minde did euer hate, To buy damnation at so deere a rate: To tast sweete Nectar for a day or howre, And euer after to digest the sowre. 'Tis not variety I seeke or craue, My whole delight is in the one I haue: And she that's not contented with her lot, I hold more monster then the Sea hath got. The friendship which you proffer me preserue, For those that will your kindnesse more deserue. The obiection here you alledge is fondly strange, That woemen, though old cloathes they loue to change And fancies to in something, doth't inferre That in this grosse point they must therefore erre. I am anothers parcell I confesse, And you by your acknowledgement no lesse, Now what a sinne were this vnworthy life, I so to wrong my husband, you your wife: My husband that dare sweare that I am iust, Should I so much deceiue his honest trust? Your wife, although a party I not know, I hope imagines likewise of you so.

For shame go then repent and be not naught, Be worth her good opinion, honest thought. Let fleshly widdowes when their husbands die They nere did loue, seeke new variety: For me I vow, if death depriue my bed, I neuer after will to Church be led A second Bride, nor neuer that thought haue, To adde more weight vnto my husbands graue, In second husband let mee bee accurst, None weds the second, but who kils the first. You haue a wife you write, giue her your loue, And that will all your wandring thoughts remoue; You loue her not, by these effects I see, For where loue is there's no satiety. Can you so farre forget humanity, As hauing shak't the fruite dispise the Tree: It is not loue but lust, that thus abuses, To make it weary of the walkes it vses. * 1.1Those that to forraine Countries do repaire, Change not their minds, although they change the Aire, Preferring still, through nouelty desire, Their Countries smoake, before anothers fire. Like vse obserue vnto your selfe to take From the obiection that you seeme to make: That though you see of beauteous women many, And you by choyce possesse the mean'st of any, More to respect her you your wife haue made, Then others sunshine, to your proper shade. Suppresse that lust, that soule and body wounds, For where it once breakes ore, it hath no bounds, One woman doth abridge all womankind, The volume then at large why would you finde: For sure I thinke where that doth beare no prize The Booke at large might weary, not suffice. An other Argument to backe your sute, You alledge that walles and windowes will be mute,

And that the world hath no such peircing eie, The secret of the darke to search and trie: As if there were not one, whose power impartes, To see through Dores, & Windowes, & through Hearts, From whose bright eye, no secresy can hide, That which is guilty and would not be spide, Then what auailes to haue the world aquite vs, When our Conscience like a fiend shall fright vs. And for the Bed although it cannot tell, Yet out their shame will breake that do not well. My husband he's from home I must confesse, Whose actes you measure by your guiltinesse, But where so ere he be, well may he speed, Ere any such thought from my heart proceed: Admit hee were in euill so compact Would I reuenge the wrong by such an act, If that I should, were't not a helpelesse part, To kill my soule because he brake my heart. Your Chaine of Gold here backe againe I send, Il'e no Earnest sure of such a Friend: And there's your Ring, full little doth she know That sent in loue, that you would vse it so: And there's your Purse, and all the Gold therein, The're Wicked Angels that would tempt to sin. My Fort is more impregnable then they. That much perswade, although they little say. As for my bodies homely cloathing weed, It keepes me warme, sufficeth natures need, Which scarce more costlier do, and for my fare, My dishes wholesome, though they homely are. Let those that discontented do abide, Go wrong their husbands to maintaine their pride, For me the meanest ragge would hide my skinne, Should better please me, then rich roabes of sinne, Which when I aske, my reason shall be such, No husband in the world shall need to grutch.

Then for your heyres, reserue your lands vnto them, They shall not curse my bones that did vndo them. Call backe your selfe and thinke I am your friend, That thus would stay you from your wilfull end: Call backe your selfe, or I may safety tell You are running downe the steepest hill to hell; As when cold bloud, and better thoughts shall shew, You'le hold then your friend, though now your foe: And more reioyce in that I did refell, Your lawlesse pleasure, then consent: Fare-well.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Coelum non Ani∣mum, &c.