Certaine select dialogues of Lucian together with his true historie, translated from the Greeke into English by Mr Francis Hickes. Whereunto is added the life of Lucian gathered out of his owne writings, with briefe notes and illustrations upon each dialogue and booke, by T.H. Mr of Arts of Christ-Church in Oxford.

ICAROMENIPPVS, OR THE LOFTIE TRAVELLER.

Me∣nippus

BY this account, from the Earth to the Moone can be no lesse than three thousand furlongs, where wee tooke up our first lodging: from thence upwards to the Sunne, are about five hundred leagues: and from the Sunne to the heigth of Heaven, and the sublime seat of Jupiter himselfe, is as farre as a swift Eagle is able to reach in a whole dayes flight.

Friend.

How now Menippus? are you trading in Astro∣nomie, and practising Arithmeticall conclusions so closely by your selfe? For as I followed after you, mee thought I heard you talke strangely of Suns and Moones, and leagues, and lodgings, and I cannot tell what.

Menip.

Marvell not good friend, though I talke transcen∣dently, and above the pitch of our common region, for I am making a summarie computation to my selfe of my late pe∣regrination.

Friend.

Why, good Sir, did you travell like a Phenician, and score out your way by the course of the Starres?

Menippus.

I tell you no: for my journey lay among the very Starres themselves.

Friend.

O Hercules, what a horrible long dreame were you taken withall, that could forget your selfe to be asleepe the travelling of so many leagues:

Menippus.

Why, friend, do you think I tell you a dream, and came from Jupiter but just now?

Friend.

Say you so? is Menippus also falne downe from Jupiter amongst us?

Menippus.

I speake it seriously: I came but this day from

that very Jupiter himselfe, where I both heard and saw matters exceeding all imagination: if you beleeve me not, I am the gladder of it, that my felicitie is not limited with∣in the compasse of credite.

Friend.

O divine and Olympicall Menippus, how should I, an earthly and mortall creature, distrust a man surmoun∣ting the cloudes; and, as Homer saith, one of the celestiall societie? yet I pray thee tell me, by what meanes thou got'st up so high, and how thou comm'st by a ladder of such a length: for I see no such beautie in thy face, that like a se∣cond b Ganymede, thou should'st be rapt up into heaven by an Eagle, to fill out wine to Jupiter.

Menippus.

I have found you flouting all this while: and I hold it no wonder though my strange reports be esteemed fabulous: But to accomplish my journey, I neither needed a ladder, nor to be belov'd of an Eagle, for I had wings of mine owne to doe it.

Friend.

In this thou hast put downe c Daedalus himselfe, and deceived us extreamly: for wee tooke thee for a man all this while, and now it seemes, thou art either some Kite or Crow.

Menippus.

Beleeve mee, friend, you are somewhat neere the marke: for that Daedalian invention of wings, was also put in practice by mee.

Friend.

And how durst thou put thy selfe upon such an adventure, for feare of falling into the Sea, which after thy name might be called the Menippian Sea, as the other was called the Icarian.

Menippus.

I was secure of that: for Icaru's wings were cemented with waxe, which dissolving with the Sunne, he cast his feathers and could not chuse but fall: but my fea∣thers were joynted with no such matter.

Friend.

How then? for by little & little thou hast screw∣ed me up, I cannot tell how, to imagine there may be some truth in thy narration.

Menippus.

Thus I did, I tooke a good bigge Eagle, and a strong Vulture, and cut off their wings at the first joynt: but it would doe better to tell you my whole conceit, from the first occasion, if your leisure will serve to heare it.

Friend.

Exceeding well: for I am wholly intent to listen to your story, and in a longing to heare it all to the end: wherefore of all loves, deny me not; for I even hang as it were by the eares, to harken to your discourse.

Menip.

Heare it then: for I should shew my selfe un∣civill to leave a longing friend in such a plight: especially hanging by the eares, as you say, to heare it: and therefore thus it was. Pondering seriouslie with my selfe upon mat∣ters pertaining to this life, I found all things affected by man, to be foolish, idle, and transitory: I meane, riches ho∣nour, powerablenes, and the like: wherefore contemning them all, and all care to attaine them, and proposing to my selfe the study of things that were truly good, I endeavou∣red to lift up my head, and to consider of the whole uni∣verse in generall, which yeelded matter of much difficul∣tie to my apprehension: First, that thing which wise men called the world: for I could never finde how it was made, nor who was the maker of it; nor what beginning it had, nor what end it should have. Next, I descended to parti∣culars, which brought me into farre greater doubts then I was before: I saw the starres scattered up and downe the heaven carelesly, I know not how; and I much desired to learne what matter the Sunne was made of: But the greatest cause of marvell to mee was the Moone, whose course seemed contrary to all reason: and the often altera∣tion of her shape I thought must needs proceed from some unknowne and secret cause: moreover, the suddain flash∣es of lightning, the breaking out of the thunder, the raine, the snow, the falling downe of the haile, were utterly un∣expressible to me, and I knew not what to thinke of them: being in this perplexitie, I thought I could not doe better, then to repaire to some of these Philosophers for my in∣struction, who I thought were not to seeke in the true

knowledge of any thing: whereupon I made my choyce of the best among them, as well as I could guesse at them, by the grimnesse of their countenances, the palenes of their complexion, and the profunditie of their beards: for such men, I was perswaded could best speake deepe points of learning, and vvere best seene in celestiall matters: to them I committed my selfe, and gave them a good round summe of mony in hand, and more I promised to pay unto them, when I should attaine to be my Arts master in these points: for I had an incredible desire to talke like a learned man, and to have an insight into the order & course of all things: But I was so farre from being freed by their meanes out of my former ignorance, that they brought me worse out of tune then I was before, every day filling my head with Be∣ginnings, and Endings, and Atomes, and Vacuities, and Matters, and Formes, and I know not what. But that which most of all put me out of heart, was to heare how much they differed in opinions amongst themselves, thwar∣ting, and overthwarting one another in every thing they spake: yet every man would have mee to bee a follow∣er of his, and seeke to draw me to the bent of his owne bowe.

Friend.

Strange it is, that wise men should bee at such oddes among themselves, as not to have the same opinion of the same things.

Menip.

Beleeve me, friend, I know you could not chuse but laugh to heare their arrogant and prodigious speeches: that men confin'd to the earth, of no higher pitch then we that are with them, no sharper sighted then their neigh∣bours dwelling nigh them, nay some of them, either through age or idlenesse, able to see nothing at all, should yet professe themselves to know the uttermost ends of hea∣ven, to measure the compasse of the Sunne, to understand what is done above the Moone, and as if they had fallen from the Starres; describe the quantitie and fashion of eve∣ry of them: and that they which oftentimes cannot truely

tell you how farre it is betweene b Megara and Athens, should yet take upon them to tell how many cubits space it is betweene the Moone and the Sunne, and to measure out the height of the skie, the depth of the sea, and the compasse of the earth: and by making circles and circum∣ferences, triangular, and quadrant dimensions, and by cer∣taine round orbes, conclude upon the quantitie of heaven it selfe: but nothing doth more detect their ignorance and arrogancie, then their owne peremptory speeches about matters, vvhich all men know are to them unknowne: for they will affirme nothing upon likeliehood or possibilitie, but contend vvith all vehemency, (leaving no place for any other to outspeake them) and will almost take their oathes upon it, c that the Sunne is a lumpe of some kinde of mat∣ter, made red hot with fire: d that the Moone is a region inhabitable, e and that the Starres drinke vvater by the help of the ••unne, drawing vapours out of the Sea, as with a bucket, and bestowing it upon them all to drinke amongst them: but the contradiction of their opinions may easily be descried by any man, which I would have you take good notice of. and how little reconciliation is to be expected in such contrarieties. First, they varie in their opinions touching the vvorld: f for some hold, it had no beginning, nor ever shall come to have an end: others as confidently affirme it had a maker, and describe the manner of the ma∣king thereof. And these bee the men I most admire, that make some god to be the vvorkeman of all things, and yet tell us not from whence he came, or vvhere he stood vvhen he vvas about his vvorke: vvhereas, before the creation of the universe, it is impossible to imagine either time or place.

Friend.

These are bold fellowes indeed, Menippus, and talke of strange matters.

Menippus.

What if you should heare them speake, sweete friend, of their Ideas and Incorporalities, and how they ar∣gue about finite and infinite, a quarell that can never be composed: for some confine the world to an end, others

will have it without end: g some give out that there are ma∣ny worlds, and reprove them that talke as if there vvere but one: h another (some quarrelsome companion I warrant him) affirmes warre and falling out to be the originall of things: what should I trouble you to tell you of their gods? for to some i a certaine Arithmeticall number stands in steed of a god: k others sweare by dogges, geese, and plane trees: l some would make a riddance of other gods, and ascribe the government of all things to one alone which drew mee in∣to a great deale of distraction, to heare men hold such un∣certainties of the gods: m others againe as liberally will al∣low us gods enough, but they divide them into severall de∣grees, calling one the chiefe god, and allotting the second place to others, and a third to the last: moreover, some hold opinion, that the godhead hath neither body, nor shape: and some are conceited of it as of a body: againe, all do not attribute to god, the provident disposing of our a•…•…ires: n for there are some which exempt them from all care, as we do old men from bearing office, bringing them in, for all the world, like attendants in a stage play: o others againe, go beyond all these, and will not beleeve there are any gods at all, but leave the world at randome to be carried about without governour or guide: when I heard all this, I could not but beleeve men that spake so bigge words and wore so bigge beards, yet knew not to what opinion to incline, where I might finde such certaintie as could not be confu∣ted by others: and I was directly brought into such a case as Homer speakes of: for when I found my selfe many times apt enough to be led by some of them, suddenly a contrary conceipt would draw me another way. This brought mee into such a quandarie, that I despaired to have any true in∣telligence in these matters upon earth, and thought there could be no better course to cleare my selfe from these un∣certainties, then to get mee wings and make a journey into heaven, which I was brought in hope to effect, principally for the vehemencie of my desire, & next by the encourage∣ment of p Aesope the fable-maker; who made heaven per∣vious

to eagles, nay sometimes to beetles and camels: but to make feathers spring out of my flesh I thought it impossible by any devise I could imagine: yet if I could provide my selfe of wings either of a vulture or of an eagle (for they onely would be able to beare the weight of a mans body) then perhaps my project might proceed to some purpose: whereupon I got mee those birds, and cut off the right wing of the one, and the left wing of the other which was the vulture, as handsomely as I could, and buckling them about mee, fastned them to my shoulders with thongs of strong leather, and at the ends of the uttermost feathers made mee loopes to put my hands through, and then be∣gan to trie what I could do, leaping upwards at the first to begin withall, and sayling with my armes, lifted my bo∣die a little from the ground, no higher then geese use to do, when they begin their flight, and keeping my selfe low, often touched the earth with the top of my toes: but when I found by this, that my device was answerable to my hopes, I grew every day to bee more bold than other, and getting up to the top of the Castle, stew from thence, and alighted at the Theater. After so great a flight taken without any danger, my minde carried mee to matters of more eminencie: and beginning my course, sometimes at the Hill q Parnes, somtimes at Mount r Hym•…•…, would flie as farre as to s Garanea, and from thence up to s Acr••∣corinthus: then over t Pholoe, and u Eryma•…•…bus, and so to w Taygetus. When I had thus well practised my selfe in my new profession, and growne so perfect, that I could mount at pleasure, I thought my selfe a chicken no longer, but got me up to the top of x Olympus, and there furnishing my selfe with victuales as expeditely as I could, from thence took my way directly towards Heaven: and at the first, the distance made mee somwhat dizzie for a time, but afterwards I endured it well enough: when I was got up

as high as the Moone, by making way thorough so many cloudes, I found my selfe wearie, especially upon the left wing, which was of the Vulture: I therefore sate me down upon it to rest my selfe, from thence looking towards the Earth that was beneath me, and like Homers Jupiter, som∣time beheld the horsemen of Thrace, and sometimes the Mysians: then if I pleas'd mee, would cast mine eye upon Greece, or upon Persia, or India, out of all which countries I was filled with varietie of rare delights.

Friend.

Tell me that too, good Menippus: let no one par∣ticular of your travels be left out, but whatsoever came to your view, though it were no appurtenance to your jour∣ney, yet let me heare it: for I looke for no ordinary matter from you, but to bee inform'd what fashion the Earth was of, and all that was in it, as you beheld it from above.

Menip.

Your expectation shall not faile you, my good friend: for, placing my selfe upon the Moone as well as I could, shee travelled with me in her usuall course, and holp mee to survey the order of all earthly things: and at the first, me thought I saw a very little kinde of Earth, far lesse than the Moone: and thereupon stooping downe, could not yet finde where such Mountaines were, or such a Sea, nor see y the Rhodian Colossus, or the Tower of Pharos (for you must know, the Earth was altogether hid from mee) though now they are eminent, and put up their heads above all other things: At the last, the glittering of the Ocean by the Sunne beames shining upon it, made me conjecture it was the Earth I saw, and fixing mine eyes more stedfastly on it, the whole life of man was made apparent to mee, not by Nations and Cities, but all particular sort of persons, Marriners, Souldiers, plough-men, Lawyers, Women, Beasts, † and whatsoever feedeth upon the face of the Earth.

Friend.

Nay now, Menippus, you have overshot your selfe exceedingly, and contradicted what you said before: even now you were faine to looke narrowly to find out the Earth, & when the Colossus appear'd unto you, you thought

it might perhaps be some other thing: how came you then upon a sudden to be such a z Lynceus, as to discerne all that vvas upon the earth; men, beasts, yea almost the very nests of gnats?

Menippus.

I thanke you for your good remembring of me, for what did most concerne me to tell you, I know not how, was by me utterly omitted: for when mine eye hadled mee to the knowledge of the earth, and yet not a∣ble to see any things else by reason of the distance which my sight could not attaine unto, it grieved me much, and I was in great anguish of minde: and being growne utterly disconsolate, and ready to shed teares for sorrow, sudden∣ly behinde my back there stood the wise a Empedacles, as blacke as a coale to looke to, and covered cleane over with ashes, as if he had beene broyled in the embers. and to tell you plaine, at the first, the sight made me agast, and I thought some lunarie spirit had appeared unto me: but he said, be of good cheare, Menippus, I am no god: take me not for one of the immortall: I am the Physicall: Empedo∣cles, that tumbled my selfe headlong into the tunnells of mount Aetna, b and was thence cast out againe by the strength of the smoake, and tost up hither, and now dwell in the Moone; and am carried about in the aire as shee is, feeding only upon the dew: the purpose of my comming is to free thee from thy present anxietie, for I know it doth afflict thee much, that thou canst not clearely discerne what is done upon the earth. Kindely done of you, honest Empedocles, said I; and as soon as my winges have brought me downe into Greece, I will remember to sacrifice unto you upon the tunnell of my chimney; and at every change, will there make my prayers in publike to the Moone: I sweare, said he, by c Endymion, I come in no such respect;

onely, it grieved me at the heart to see thee in so great sor∣row: but knowest thou any meanes how to amend thy sight and make it better; beleeve me no, said I, unlesse you, have somewhat that can wipe the weft of mine eyes, for I finde my selfe very dimme sighted: you have no need of any farther helpe, said he, for you have brought that from the earth with you, that can make you see well enough; and what may that bee, said I? Know you not, said hee, that you have the right wing of an Eagle about you? yes said I, but what is the wing to the eye? the Eagle, said he, by farre is the sharpest sighted of all creatures, and only able to looke against the Sunne, and she is thought the roy∣allest, and truest begotten Eagle, that can behold t•…•… bright Sunne without winking. So I have heard indeed, said I; and it much repenteth me, that when I undertooke a jour∣ney hither, I had not pluckt out mine owne eyes, and put the eyes of an Eagle into my head: for I am now come un∣perfect, and not royally prepared, but rather as a mis-be∣gotten mungrell, cast off, and forsaken by my friends. It is in your power, said he, presently to make one of your eyes royall: for if you will but arise alittle, and lay aside the wing of the Vulture, and onely keepe the other wing on, according to the situation of your wings your right eye shall be sensible of any thing: the other must continue darke doe what you can, because that side is defective: I care not, said I, if my right eye only be as apprehensive as an Eagle, it will serve my turne well enough: for I have noted, that Carpenters, when they would lay their line alight indeed to square out their timber, use to looke but with one eye: And with that word, I did as Empedocles had advised me who by little and little vanished away, and was dissolved into smoake. When I vvas vving'd as I ought to be, upon a suddaine a great light did shine round about me, and all things that before were hidden from me, were now per∣spicuous and easie to bee discerned, wherefore, stouping downewards towards the earth, I perfectly descried both Cities and men, and every thing that was done; not onely

under the open prospect of heaven, but vvhat vvas acted in private houses, vvhich men thought could never come to light. There saw I Ptolomie, committing incest vvith his sister; Lysimachus, betraying by his sonne; Antiochus, the sonne of Seleucus, falling in love vvith Stratonice, his mo∣ther in law: Alexander the Thessalian, slaine by his wife: Antigonus adulterating his sonnes wife, and Attalus poy∣soned by his sonne: on the other side, I saw Arsaces killing his wife, and the Eunuch Arbaces drawing his sword a∣gainst Arsaces: Spartinus the Median by his Guard dragg'd out from a banquet by the heeles, and his head wounded with a standing cup of gold: the like was to be seene done in Lysia, and among the Scythians and Thracians, in the Courts of their Kings, adulteries, murthers, treacheries, rapines, perjuries, feares, and false-heartednesse towards their friends: thus was I occupied in beholding the affaires of Kings. But the acts of private persons were farre more ridiculous, for I beheld them also, and saw Hermodorus the Epicure, forswearing himselfe for a thousand Dragmes; Agathocles the Stoike, going to law with his Scholler for the hire of his teaching; Clinias the Rhetorician stealing a peece of Plate out of the Temple of Aesculapius, and Hero∣philus the Cynick asleepe in a bawdy-house: what should I tell you of other men, of whom some were breakers up of houses, some wranglers in law-suits, some usurers, some exactors: indeede the sight was most variable and full of diversitie.

Friend.

You have done friendly, Menippus, in imparting this unto mee, and I know it could not chuse but give you extraordinary content.

Menippus,

To deliver every thing in order, good friend, is altogether impossible, it was worke enough for mee to see it: but the totall of what was done, made such a shew as Homer described upon Achilles shield: in one place were merrie meetings and marriages: in another tri∣alls of suits and courts of justice: here was one sacrificing for joy of his good fortune; and his next neighbour in hea∣vinesse

and mourning: d when I looked towards the Getes I saw thē fighting, & turning my sight to the Scythians I saw them wandring about in wagons: then casting mine eyes on the other side, I beheld the Aegyptians tilling their land; the Phoenician trading in marchandise, and the Cilician practising pyracie, the Laconian was lasht with whips, and the Athenian was going to law: all these being in action at one instant, you may imagine what a confused apparition was presented to my view: as if many singing men should be brought into a roome together, or rather many quiers of singing men, and every man commanded to sing a seve∣rall tune, and strive to make his owne song good, and with the strength of his voice to drowne the notes of the other. I beseech you what is your conceit of such a noise?

Friend.

O Menippus, it must needs be both foolish and of∣fensive to the eare.

Menippus,

Beleeve mee, friend, such singers as these, are all they that dwell upon the earth: and of such unmusicall discords, is the whole life of man composed: and not one∣ly of untunable notes, but of disproportionable motions, and no man takes notice of it, untill the master of the quier drive them every man off the stage, and tell them hee hath no more cause to use them: then all at once are striken si∣lent, and cease from that confused and disorderly song: but in this variable and disparible Theater of the world, though all things appeared most absurd and peevish, yet I thought I had most cause to deride them, that contend about the li∣mits of their lands, and take much upon them because they have corne growing in e Sicyonia, or lands lying in that part off Marathen which borders upon g Oenoe, or are Lords of a thousand acres among the h Acharnens: for all Greece in my eye exceeded not the bredth of foure fingers, of which the country of Attica was the least part: and I therefore could but conceive how little was left for our rich men to be proud of, when the greatest landed man amongst them seemed to possesse scarcely the quantitie of an i Epicurean Atome: then casting mine eye upon Peloponnesus, and in it

beholding the country of k Cynuria, I remembred how ma∣ny Lacedaemonians and Argives lost their lives in one day for a plott of ground hardly so bigge as an Aegyptian beane: againe, when I saw men thinke well of themselves because they were so well stor'd with gold in rings and cupboords of plate, I could not possibly containe my laugh∣ter, when whole l Pangaeum and all the mettalls in it, were no bigger in quantitie then the smallest seede.

Friend.

O happy Menippus, for injoying so rare a spe∣ctacle! but I beseech you let mee heare somewhat of men and cities, what shew thy made when you were so high.

Menippus.

I am sure you have often seene a swarme of emets: how some of them trot up and downe: some issue out, some return again into their hold: one carries out filth: another snatcheth up a peece of a beane bull, or part of a wheat corne, and runnes away with it as fast as hee can: to these the life of man hath most resemblance: some build houses, some affect popularity, some authority, some will be Musicians, some Philosophers: and their cities not farre unlike the houses of emets: if you thinke it a poore com∣parison to liken men to such small creatures, peruse the an∣cient m Thessalian fables, and you shall finde that the n Myr∣midons, a warlike nation had their first originall from emets. When I had thus seene enough to serve my turne, and satisfied myselfe with laughter at it, I set my wings to∣gether againe, to take my flight to the habitation of hea∣venly Jove: and had not mounted a full furlong up, but the Moone with a feminine voice, spake to mee in this manner, Menippus, well may you speed: let mee intreat you to car∣ry a thing from mee to Jupiter: what may it be said I, for I will not refuse you, unlesse it be heavie: onely a message, quoth shee, not offensive, but a petition, which I would have you preferre in my name to Jupiter: for I am weary of my life, Menippus, to heare so many monstrous speeches

passe out of the mouthes of Philosophers concerning mee, who it seemes have nothing else to doe, but busie them∣selves about mee, enquiring what I am made of, and of what quantitie I am, and for what cause I appeare some∣times halfe, sometimes three quarters: some say I am a regi∣on inhabitable, some that I hang over the sea like a looking glasse, and every man puts upon mee whatsoever comes in his owne conceipt, nay, they will not allow the very light I have to be mine owne, but say I stole it from another, and had it from the Sunne above, and never will let mee alone, but seeke to make debate and variance betwixt mee and him that is my brother, not satisfying themselves with the opprobrious speeches they have given out against him, vvhom they make no better then a stone, or some kinde of mettall made red-hot vvith fire: yet have I seene some villanies abominable and beastly committed in the night time by these men that looke so severely by daylight, and carrie so setled a countenance, that are so grave in their habit, and so much respected by simple men, which I for∣bare to speake of, because I thought it unmannerly to pub∣lish and reveale their nocturnall conversation, or bring their lives as it were upon the stage: for when I found any of thē, either playing the whoremaster, or the thiefe, or occupied in any such worke of darknesse, I would plucke in my head under a cloud, & cover my face, that every man should not see what was acted by old mē, adorn'd with such abundāt beards & carrying such an opinion of vertue and honesty: yet will they never give over to lacerate me with ill language, and abuse me in the highest degree: insomuch, that (I sweare unto thee, by the night) I have often beene in hand to re∣move my seate further, to avoyde the being subject to their clamorous and chattering tongues: remember to ac∣quaint Jupiter with this, and tell him farther, that it is im∣possible for me to remaine in my region, unlesse he utterly confound these naturall Philosophers, and stop the mouthes of the Logicians, o blow up the Stoa, set fire on the Acade∣mie, and suffer no more disputations to be held in Peripa∣tus:

so may I hap to live in peace, that am now daily dila∣niated and quarterd out amongst them. It shall be done, said I, and so struck up directly towards Heaven, and had soone lost sight of all that was done either by men or beasts, and within a while, the Moone it selfe began to be lessened, and the Earth was utterly hid from me: then I left the Sun upon my right hand, and taking my flight thorow the Starres, the third day I arriv'd at Heaven. And at the first, thought it my best course, attired as I was, to presse in sud∣denly amongst them, supposing I should easily rest undis∣covered, because on the one halfe I was an Eagle, a fowle, which I knew of old, was very familiar with Jove: but afterwards I bethought my selfe, that my Vultures wing could not possibly be conceal'd; wherefore I held it best not to be too bold, but approaching more neere, knock't at the doore: Mercurie heard me by and by, and asked my name: which, when I had delivered, hee went back againe as fast as he could, to tell it to Jupiter: within a while after I was called in, terribly trembling with feare, and found them all sitting together in the same taking, extreamly vex't with care and anxietie; for my strange adventure put them all in∣to no small perplexitie, deeming all men would dare to wing themselves in the same manner, and doe as I had done. Jupiter then with a fierce and truculent aspect, fixing his eye upon me, said: What art thou for a man? from what Citie commest thou? and who are thy parents? At the sound of his voyce, I was stricken almost dead with feare, and stood like a dumbe man, astonished with the thunder of his words: but in a while, recovering my selfe, I delivered the whole matter to him from the beginning; My desire to bee taught in high points, my repaire to Philosophers for that purpose, the contradiction I found amongst them, my di∣straction by that meanes, my device thereupon, my wings, and every thing else till my arrivall at Heaven, ultimating my speech with the message from the Moone: whereat hee smiling and clearing his countenance a little, what should wee talke of p Otus and Ephialtes, said hee, when Menippus

dare put such an adventure in practice? but for the present you shall be my guest: to morrow wee will sit in counsell upon the businesse you come for, and then you shall have your dispatch: vvith that, rising up, he vvent towards that part of heaven, where all things might best be heard, for it was time of day to attend to prayers: and by the way as he was going, questioned me upon earthly matters, vvhat price vvheat was in Greece, vvhether the last hard winter did not pinch us shrewdly, and vvhether grasse wanted not more raine: then he askt me vvhether any of q Phidias vvorkes were now to be had; vvhy the Athenians had gi∣ven over the r Diasia feast so many yeares, vvhether they intended to solemnise the s Olympian games, and vvhether the theeves were taken that robbed his temple at t Dodane. When I had answered him to these questions as I could, but tell me Menippus, I pray thee, said he, vvhat doe men thinke of me? that thou art a Lord of soveraigne majestie, said I, and king of all the Gods: O thou dost but jest, said he, for I know their froward dispositions well enough though thou never tell it. Indeed the time hath been, vvhen I vvas the onely Prophet, the onely Physitian, and all in all amongst them: every streete, every assemblie vvas filled with the fame of Jupiter: my temples of Dodone and u Pisa carried away the credit from them all; the smoake of sacri∣fices ascended up so thicke, that I was scarcely able to open mine eyes for it: but since Apollo erected his oracle in Delphus, and w Aesculapius set up shop in Pergamus, x Ber∣dis had her temple in Thrace, Anubis in Aegypt, and Di∣ana in Ephesus; all the vvorld goeth a gadding after them, there they keepe their solemne meetings, and consent to offer their y Hecatombes: but I am so far out of date with

them, that they think it honour enough for me, if I be sacri∣ficed unto every fifth yeare in Olympus: therefore you may finde mine altars more cold, then either z Plat•…•…s lawes, or a Chrysippus syllogismes: with such talke as this we past away the time, till we came to the place where he was to sit downe and hearken to mens prayers: There were cer∣taine holes in heaven, with little covers, set upon them in order one by another, like the liddes of wells: and by eve∣ry one of them stood a chaire of gold: Jupiter therefore, senting himselfe in the first, and taking off the cover, gave care to those that made their prayers to him; and certainly there was great variety and repugnancie in their petitions: for I also stooping my selfe downewards, was made parta∣ker of them, which were to this purpose. O Jupiter, that I might be a king: O Jupiter, send mine onions and gar∣like to grow vvell this yeare: O Jupiter, that my father vvould die shortly: another prayed, O that I might sur∣vive my vvife, O that my plot against my my brother may be concealed, O that I might prevaile in my suite at law, O that I might get the garland at Olympus: the Marriners prayed, some for a North winde, some for a South: The husbandman prayed for raine, and the fuller for Sun-shine: Jupiter heard them all, and seriously examined every mans prayers: yet, would not give way to every thing was as∣ked, but some he granted like a gracious father, and some he denied: the righteous prayers he admitted to come up to him through the hole, and laid them on his right hand: the unjust he sent backe againe vvithout their errand, and blew them downe, that they might never come nigh to heaven: yet, at one prayer I perceived he vvas put hard to it: for two men had made their petitions contrary, and pro∣mised equall sacrifices upon performance; so that he knew not which way to encline, but was driven to an Academi∣call suspence, not able to pronounce certainly of any thing, but like scepticall b Pyrrhe, referr'd it to further know∣ledge: When he had done his part at hearing prayers, he removed to the next chaire, and taking off the next cover,

downewards to oathes and protestations, and when he had enough of them, and crusht in pieces Hermodorus the Epi∣cure, he went to the next seate, and listned to oracles, an∣swers, and auguries, and from thence shifted to the doore of sacrifices, through which the smoake ascended, and brought vvith it to Jupiter the name of every one that of∣fered. When he had done with these, hee was to take or∣der with the vvinds, and the vveather what they should doe: to day let there bee raine in Scythia, lightning and thunder in Lybia, and snow in Greece: let the North winde blow in Lydia, and the South winde be still: let the West winde make tempestuous the Adriaticke sea, and let some thousand bushels of haile be scattered in Cappadocia. When hee had made a dispatch of all, wee went to supper, for it vvas high time to eate: so Mercurie tooke me, & placed me with c Pan, and the Corybantes, and Attis, and Sabazius: those inquiline and uncompleat Gods, where Ceres served us with bread, Bacchus with wine, Hercules with flesh, Venus with d mirtle berries, and Neptune with fish. I had a tast also by chance of the Nectar and Ambrosia: for honest Ganymed, out of his love to mankinde, no sooner could see Jupiter looke another way, but hee would be sure to fit me with a cuppe or two of it presently. Yet, the prime gods (as Homer saith in a certaine place, who I thinke had seen them as well as I) neither eate meate, nor drinke wine, but feede upon Ambrosia, and tipple one to another in Nectar: for their most pleasing diet, is the savour of the sacrifices carried up vvith the smoake, and the bloud of the oblati∣ons vvhich sacrificers power upon their altars: But whilst wee were at supper, Apollo plaid upon his harpe, and e Silenus daunced, the Muses stood up, and sung unto us Hesiodus his Theogonia, and the first Ode of Pindarus sonets, and when wee were all well satisfied, every man went to his rest,f to my thinking, reasonable well whittled: but, though men and gods slept all night long, yet I could take no rest, for many thoughts ranne in my head, which kept mee waking, especially, how Apollo could live to that

age, and never have any beard: or how there should be night in heaven, and the Sunne still resident among them, and feast together with them. At the last I began to nodde a little: But Jupiter getting up betimes in the morning cau∣sed an assembly to be proclaimed, and when they were all come together, beganne with them in this manner. The cause of my conventing you at this time, is the stranger that arrived here yesterday: I had formerly intended to tell you my minde touching these Philosophers, chiefly incited there to by the Moone, and the abuses shee chargeth them withall, and therefore purpose not to trouble you with any further matter, for there is a kind of men lately spread in the world that are slouthfull, contentious, vain glorious, en∣vious, gluttonous, foolish, arrogant, injurious, and as Homer saith * an unprofitable burthen of the earth: these have cut themselves into sects, and devised many different and inex∣tricable Labyrinthes of argumentation, some naming them∣selves Stoicks, some Academickes, some Epicures, and some Peripatetickes, with many other more foolish titles then these: and involving themselves within the venerable name of vertue, carry their countenance aloft, and stroake out their beards at length, and traversing the world, under a counterfeit habit, cover most abominable conditions, like our ordinary actors in Tragedies, from whom if you de∣tract their vizards and brave apparell, the remainder will be apish and discover a poore fellow, hired to play his part for a few pieces of silver: they being no better then these, yet live in contempt of all men and publish monstrous opi∣nions of the gods: if they can draw in a simple yong man, they make vertue the common place of their discourse, and teach them to make intricate and indissoluble arguments, speaking to their scholler continually in praise of patience and temperance, & in detestation of riches & pleasure: but when they are alone by themselves, no such gluttons as they, no such lechers, yea, they will licke up the very drosse of silver: and which is most intolerable, they will be men of no function neither in publike not private, but a super∣fluous

kinde of people, without imployment either in warre or peace: and yet condemne all others, making it their onely practise, with multitude of bitter speeches and reviling tearmes to abuse other men: Hee is thought the bravest fellow amongst them that can brawle loudest, and hath the most audacious and temerarious tongue to deli∣ver leud reports. If a man should aske one of these fellows, that inforce and straine themselves so farre to exclaime and crie out against others, I beseech you Sir, what are you good for your selfe, and what place in the common weale do you supply? hee must needs say, if hee will say justly, and accor∣ding to truth, that, to be a sea-man, or a husbandman, or a souldier, or a tradesman, I hold it base: I roare, and goe in ragges, I wash in cold water, and weare no shoes in winter, yet, like a Momus, I can carpe at other men: if a rich man make a feast, or keepe his whore, I will be sure to have a¦bout with him, and hit him in the teeth with it: but if any deare friend of mine lie sicke and diseased, and like to perish for food or physicke, I will not owne him: These be the cattle I complaine of, O ye gods, and the worst among them all, are they that are called Epicures: for they be the men that do most abuse us, and goe nearest to the quicke, affirming that the gods are neither carefull of mens affaires, nor respectfull of any thing that is done it is therefore high time to looke about you; for if this doctrine should once be put into mens heads, you are like enough to starve for hun∣ger: for who will offer you any sacrifice, and looke to be never the better for its ye likewise all heard by the stranger that came yesterday, what complaint the Moone hath made against them, which I beseech you consider well of, and take such order, as may best tend to the benefit of mankind, and the safetie of your selves: when Jupiter had said thus much, the whole assembly was moved, and cried out sud∣denly all at once, destroy them with thunder, burne them up with lightning, cast them headlong into hell, into Tar∣tarus, as were the gyants: but Jupiter againe commanding silence, said, your will shall be performed, and they all with

all their Logick shall be confounded utterly: but at this pre∣sent, I can by no meanes take punishment of any man: for you know wee are to keepe holiday these foure next mo∣neths, during which time, I have taken truce with all the world: but the beginning of the next spring those accursed caitiffes shall cursedly perish, by the dismall dint of my terrible thunder dart, (which hee confirm'd with his royall assent) as for Menippus, said hee, this doome shall passe up∣on him, his wings shall be taken from him, lest he should re∣turne a second voyage, and Mercurie shall take him this day to set him againe upon the earth: and when hee had so said, he dismist the assemblie: and Mercurie taking hold of my right care, so carried me dangling downe, and on the morrow towards evening, set me in g Ceramicus: You have heard all, my good friend, all the newes I can tell you out of heaven, and am now going to relate the same to the Phi∣losophers that walke h in Poecile.

Notes

• The occasion of the Dialogue.
• Menippus was a cynick, in whose person our Author of∣tentimes in∣veighs against the Philosophers of his time.
• The Phoenici∣ans were very skilfull in Na∣vigation and Astronomie: Plin. nat. hist. lib. 5. cap. 12.
• Iliad lib. 5. v. 373.
• b

  Ganymede was the Son of King Troös, whom, for his excellent beau∣ty, Iupiter, transforming himselfe into an Eagle, tooke up into heaven, and made him his cup bearer, displacing Hebe the daughter of Juno, because that she, by rea∣son of a fall as shee was atten∣ding, had dis∣grac'd her selfe before all the Gods.
• c

  Ovid. Metam. lib. 8. Daedalus to escape the tyranne of Minos, made artificiall wings for himself and his Son Icarus, and so flew out of Crete into Sicilie; but Icarus flying too high, th•• waxe wherewith his wings were ioynted was melted by the Sun, and so he fell downe into the Sea, which afterwards bare his name: Icarus Icariis no∣mina fecit aquis Ovid.
• The Philoso∣phers desires.
• The distraction they put him in.
• Their presum∣ption.
• b

  A City of At∣tica little more then 20. Italian miles distant from Athens, so named in the raigne of Caros the son of Pho∣roneus from the temples of Ceres which were there, built and so called Pausan. in At∣tic.

  Their contra∣dictions.
• c

  Anaxagoras. Diog. Laert. l. 1.
• d

  Xenophanes.
• e

  Heraclitus.
• f

  Melissus, and diverse others. Hee may seeme here to incline more to A∣theisme then a∣ny sect of Phi∣losophie, but this is spoken in the person of Me∣nippus, and not from his owne opinion.
• Their tearmes.
• g

  Xenophanes, vid. Laett. in e∣jus vit.
• h

  Heraclytus & Empedocles.
• i

  The Pythago∣reans.
• k

  Socrates.
• l

  The Plato∣nickes, Peripa∣teticks &c. The∣mistius the Phi∣losopher, as it is recorded by So∣crates in his Ec∣clesiasticall Hi∣storie, affirmes that there were above three hū∣dred severall o∣pinions concer∣ning God and Religion among the Heathen Philosophers. Soc. Eccl. Hist. lib. 4. c. 27.
• m

  The Poets.
• n

  The Epicure¦ans.
• o

  Atheists
• The motives that caused him to undertak•• this journey.
• p

  〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, he is so termed by Plu∣tarch, in his So∣lon. but here by Lucian meerly in mockerie.
• How hee fur∣nished himselfe for it.
• He practiseth to flie.
• q

  A hill in Ar∣tica.
• r

  A Mountaine in Artica very fruitfull for Bees, where was a statua of Ju∣piter, thence called Jupiter Hymettius. Pausan. in Ar∣tic.
• s

  A hill in Me∣garis Thucyd. lib. 1.
• s

  The top of the Mountain han∣ging over the Citie Corinth.
• t

  A Hill in Ar∣cadia.
• u

  A Mountaine in Arcadia.
• w

  A Mountaine in Laconia. Pausan. in Lacon.
• x

  A high Mountaine in Greece, bordering on the one side on Thessalie, on the other on Mace∣donia. Paus. used by the Poets for Heaven.
• He beginneth his journey.
• Iliad 8. v. 51.
• y

  The Rhodian Colossus was a statua of brasse 70. cubits high, so that the ships might sayle betwixt his legs: it was the workman∣ship of Chares the Lyndian, and when it had stood about 56. yeares, was throwne downe by an Earth∣quake: this and the Towre of Pharos in Ae∣gypt, built by Sostratus the Gnidian, at the appointment of King Ptolome, which cost 800. Talents, were reckoned among the wonders of the world. Plin. nat. hist. lib. 34. cap. 7. & lib. 36. cap. 12.
• †

  Hom. Odys. lib. 11. v. 309.
• z

  Lynceus was one of the Ar∣gonauts that went with Ja∣son for the gol∣den Fleece: hee was said to be so sharpe of sight, that hee could looke through a wall, or into the earth, and dis∣cover the vaines of mineralls: Plinie sayes that he could see the new Moone in the signe A∣ries, the 1. day of her chang, & that the name grew thence in∣to a proverbe. Plin. nat. hist. lib. 2. cap. 17.
• a

  Empedocles the Philosopher flourished be∣twixt the 80. and 90. Olym∣piads.
• Homer. O∣dyss. lib. 16. v. 187. thus be∣ginnes Ulisses discovering him selfe to his son Telemachus. Diogenes La∣ert. in vit. Emped.
• b

  This Lucian addes to the story, we reade indeed of one of his slippers that was blowne backe againe, and by that meanes it was guest what became of him
• c

  Endymion, as some have thought, was a great A∣stronomer, and therfore feigned by the Poets to be beloved of the Moon who was so taken with his beauty as he lay sleeping on mount Latmos, that to enjoy his company she left her chariot to be guided by her brother
• A ve∣ry fit altar for such a smoakie Deitie.
• How his sight was cleared.
• The abominable acts, and tragi∣call ends of de∣verse wicked Princes and Tyrants.
• The base condi∣tions of sundry Philosophers.
• Iliad. 18. à v. 480. ad v. 608.
• d

  Hee speakes here according to the customes, conditions, and imployments of these severall Nations.
• e

  Sicyon was a city of Pelo∣ponnesus, be∣tweene Corinth & Achaia. Pau¦san. in Attic.
• f

  A town in At∣tica. Thucy. l. 2.
• g

  A towne on the borders of Attica.
• h

  Acharnae is a towne of Attica distant some 63 furlongs from Athens. Thuc. lib. 2.
• i

  The least quan∣titie that can be imagined.
• k

  A territory betweene Argia and Laconia, towards the sea side, about which there was a bat∣tle fought be∣twixt the Lace∣daemonians & Argives, where∣in both sides thought they had the victory. Thucyd. lib. 5.
• l

  A mountaine in Thrace aboue the Pierian bay. Thucyd. l. 2.
• m

  Most of the ancient fables of the Greekes had their begin∣ning in Thessa∣lie, & the coun∣tries therabouts. Plin. Nat. Hist. l 4. in prooem.
• n

  Iupiter at the prayer of his son Aeacus King of Aegin••, an I∣land of Greece, transformed a great multitude ef Ants, which he saw in a hollow oake into men, and gave them unto him, Juno having be∣fore by a fearfull pestilence depopulated his whole country. They were called Myrmidons from 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, which signifieth in Greeke an Ant. Ovid Metam.
• o

  Three princi∣pall Schooles for Philosophers, from whence as many sorts de∣rive their names.
• Odys. lib. 10. v. 98.
• His arrivall at Heaven.
• The Messenger of the Gods.
• Odys. 1. v. 107.
• p

  Two Gyants the Sonnes of Aloeus, that tore up Mount Ossa by the rootes, and set it on Olympus, and Pelion on that againe, that they might by that meanes reach to heaven and fight a∣gainst the Gods, being but nine years old a piece.
• q

  Odys. 11. v. 311. A rare A∣thenian Car∣ver, and chiefly famed for the Image of Jupi∣ter Olympius, which was wrought by him in Ivory, and accounted one of the seaven wonders of the world. Plin. nat. hist. lib. 7. cap. 38. & lib. 34. cap. 8.
• r

  A yearly feast kept by the A∣thenians here∣tofore in the honour of Ju∣piter.
• s

  Games and maisteries, as running wrast∣ling, &c. So∣lemnized every fifth yeare on mount Olym∣pus, in honour of Jupiter, by which solemni∣tie the Greci∣ans reckoned their yeares, as the 1, 2, or 3. yeare of such an Olympiade.
• t

  In this place there is a cold spring, into which, if a burning torch be dipp't, it will put it out, but being out before, it will set it on fire. Plin. nat. hist. lib. 2. cap. 103.
• u

  A City in Achaia. Plin. nat. hist. lib. 4. cap. 5. He brings in Jupiter asking these idle questions, and making this complaint, to shew the vanitie of the Poets and others, who impose such weakenesses and triviall cares upon the Gods.
• w

  The god of Physicke.
• x

  The name of Dia∣ana amongst the Thracians, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Hesych.
• y

  A sacrifice of a hundred Oxen, or other Cattell.
• z

  Which were onely written, never practised.
• a

  An old Logi∣cian and quite out of use.
• The vain pray∣ers and petiti∣ons of men.
• Iliad. lib. 16. v. 250. He derides in this the opinion of men in those times, who thought the gods had respect more to the value of the sacrifice, then the will of the offerer.
• b

  Who of a Painter became a Philosopher, and father of the Sceptick sect who profest no determination, or settled opini∣on, but a conti∣nuall doubting in all things.
• A perjur'd Phi∣losopher, see be∣fore.
• Jupiter disposes of the weather.
• c

  Inferiour gods and of the low∣est ranke.
• d

  The Myrtle tree is consecra∣ted to Venus. There was in Rome an anci∣ent altar dedi∣cated Veneri Myrteae. Plin. lib. 15. cap. 29.
• Iliad. 5. v 341. Hee scoffes at Homers bolde determination.
• e

  Foster father, and tutor to Bacchus.
• Iliad. 2. v. 1.
• f

  Apollo is al∣wayes pictur'd like a young man without a beard.
• Jupiter cals the gods together.
• His speech a∣gainst the Phi∣losophers.
• Iliad. lib. 18. v. 104. in the speech of Achil∣les to his mother Thetis.
• Iliad. lib. 2. v. 202. The words of Vlisses to the common souldiers.
• Iliad 1. v. 528.
• g

  A street in A∣thens, so called from Ceramus the son of Bac∣chus and Ariad∣ne. Paus. in Att.
• h

  A porch or walke in A∣thens, so called for the varietie of pictures wherewith it was adorned (for 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 in Greeke signifies variously coloured) In this porch were to be seene these peeces, First the Athenians set in battell aray against the Lacedaemonians in Oenoe a towne of the Argives. In the middle wall, Theseus leading the Athenians in fight against the Amazons. In the third place the battell of Marathon, in which the Persians were overthrowne by the Athenians, all pictured to the l••fe, and amongst the rest Miltiades, Echetlus, and Callimachus. Pausan. in Attic.