The life of a satyrical pvppy, called Nim who worrieth all those satyrists he knowes, and barkes at the rest / by T.M.

CHAP. XV.

NIM's Hostesse denies to trust him, he fasts two Daies, pawnes his Clothes, then resolving to part with Bunge, sends for him to a Taverne, and gives, him learned Counsell; but after Bunges replie, he doth change his minde and returnes with him to his Patrons Heir, promising (on a smooth con∣dition) to blesse this Booke with a second Part.

Costly experiments, and Bunges atten∣dance had so impoverished my Purse, that I wanted to supply my Stomack. I did owe my Hostesse also for a Months diet; which fayling to pay (according to my promise) and she perceaving I had few visits from City Friends, urg'd her to say one Morning, she would trust me no longer So that my last refuge consisted in pawing my Clothes, which my Childish disposition (never made impudent by want) durst not attempt. Halfe an Houre

before Dinner, and Supper, I sent Bunge upon some frivolous errant: in the meane time slunke forth, walk'd out a Meale, and returned picking my Teeth, hoping to invent a shift lesse disgracefull. But two dayes fasting, and his grim looks at home, made me weary of such modesty: so that at Night (when there was nobody with∣in but a little Boy) I ran to Charter House∣lane: where I walk'd to and fro, by a Broakers Shope, halfe an Houre, before Cowardly reputation would suffer me to enter. At last in I went: and desired the the Broaker, his Man might goe home with me to fetch Two Sutes of Apparell. He granted my request, and the things be∣ing packed up before, we soone returnd, but could not borrow above Eighteene poundes, upon that which cost me Fifty: whereof Twelve Shillings they took back for registring.

Thus my Heart being somewhat lightned by the weight of my Purse, I went to a Taverne that was neere my Lodging, and sent a Drawer home to at∣tend Bung's arrivall, that he might fetch him, purposing now to dismisse his ser∣vice, accompany the next Wind to Gell∣derland, and there serve in Garrison. I satis∣fied my Hunger, with Cerberus his Diet

(Sopps) which being made of rich Sack halfe fox'd me before he came. So soone as he had enter'd the Roome he swore him∣selfe out of breath. I demanded the cause, Why Sir (quoth he) is the Ayre food for Men? or did you suppose me a Cha∣melion? I excus'd all by urging his owne Language, for he told me once: it was the fashion for Servingmen to dis∣burse Money for their diet, and require it when their Masters Exechequer was able to repay. So having commanded a Gallon of Wine, and the Drawers absence, I bad him sit, drink, and expect alteration. By that time I had shar'd halfe the Wine, a strange humor possest my Brain, and be∣got rare imaginations! such as fool'd Don-Quixot, uttering in a lamentable veine this high and mighty sense.

O Bunge! my Brest hath entertain'd new Tennants since first I own'd thy service, Thoughts of too tall a stature, such as scorn'd those humble Roofs, which the plaine Country held as gawdy fashion, therefore went from me to change their Mansions: but returne maimed, able in nothing, unlesse to affirme the Proverb; Pride will have a fall. Know Oliver! I am made an experiment by cruell Fate, to trie within a Haires breadth the sufferance of

a Man, cross'd in all designs with strange prevention. Thou art of disposition quick, and subtill, and hast discern'd the World with a discreet Eie. Thy Experience is of a full Age, and must be now thy Master, thou no more my Servant. This health to thy good Fortunes—There's thy Wages; due since the last Quarter: which with some advice (sent from my love) is all I can bestow.

When thou thinkst upon thy poore fortunes, compare them with a meaner Mans: for so thou mayst lessen in thy selfe the greatnesse of an other, and by that aggravate thine own. The Plebeian whose naturall Spirit is humbled with a coorse Prentiship, strives for a maystery though it be only of his Trade. Doe not enrich thy selfe with a bawdy-industry, nor occasion thy Masters folly by thy apt presentment of it. Sooth him not in's drinke; nor by admiring his unconquer'd lookes, tell him t'is a handsome Vice. Strive to make him more acquainted with thy privacy, then thy selfe with his secrets. Be not impudent in jeasting, for that cheats thy Wit of her reward not procuring laugh∣ter, but derision: though the first be the true applause. Be not proude, for Time doth infect the owner of that Sinne with

such an ignorance, that he shall scarce know himselfe. The gawdy Servant beg∣gers his Purse, to make his Masters rich: for Fashion, and comely thrift, bids a plain Cloake usher a golden Livory. Buy not the envy of thy Fellowes, with his favour: nor lose it by presuming on't. Let not the poore Tennant observe thee as his Landlords Heir; whilst thou with a sawcy distance of lame state, strengthnest his credulitie. Be honest in all things, for so thou mayst live, to bestow this counsell on a Servant of thy owne, and end thy dayes in peace. When thou shalt chance to talke of me hereafter, cleanse my Fame with hiding those defects, that shew me humane, and my Fortune blind. Goe, be happy.

All this while he was a greedy Audi∣tor, but perceaving me about to take my ultimum vale, steps up and replies thus. Sir, we are so tender of our outward cre∣dit, that Necessitie is never discover'd, un∣till it discovers it selfe, I meane thorough the Ellbowes: but yours is not so little as to escape my sight, I understood the cause why you imploy'd me about impertinent errants: though you exprest small charitie, and lesse Physick, to prescribe walking for an empty Stomack, when no satisfaction

in meate, wellcom'd my returne. Neither was my fearfull Experience (feeling even now the lightnesse of your Trunke) igno∣rant how, and where it had forsooke its weight. The tract and course of povertie I have often traced, and know she is most undone in her reliefe. A pox upon your grave counsell! which is fram'd as though proceeding from a beggerly Patriarke. No advice is worthy of acceptance, but what accompanies a liberall Hand: t'is Money that makes a man able to keepe it. You direct me how to behave my selfe in ser∣vice, when I have no Master: an enter∣prise weake and Childish; just like your actions, since you became a Londoner: which if presented to the World in His∣tory, would beget more laughter then esteem. Come if you will seaze on my ad∣vice, add unto your Money Fifty Pounds: furnish me for a journey to the Court: where, by Wit, I will get relation to some Man of Ranke: grow a prompt intelligen∣cer; and make you a Satyrist. Such a one as Kings with flatterie shall be glad to si∣lence. A plague on all beggarly occupa∣tions! I affect them not.

Now Reader, judge thou whether this Rogue was not able to seduce a Novice. I could sooner eate Iron then part with him:

but the next Morning, we sat in consulta∣tion how to get this Money. At last it was resolv'd I should counterfeit my selfe to be lately Knighted, and he ride with me to my Patrons Heir: adding on all occasi∣ons Sir, unto my Christian-name. But stay awhile, and let thy memory returne, unto the last part of our Fourth Chapter: where I threatned to make my acquain∣tance costly unto a Clothier; that overtook me on the high-way. He often visited my Lodging, and now I requited him by bor∣rowing his Gelding (worth Fourteene poundes) to take the ayre as far as Fullham but indeed detaind him a longer Iourney, and bought a Nagg for my Man Bunge. I riding like a Knight-errant.

But how my Patron's Heir entertain'd me, when I return'd, and all the rest of my occurences, I am resolv'd to publish with great care, and industry. Which if you ever meane to see, invoke the powers above, that what's already written may take him, whose acceptance makes my labor, ease: whose command (by I wot not what instinct) ties my Soule to a more delightfull service, then either Gaine, or popular applause.