Scaramouch a philosopher, Harlequin a school-boy, bravo, merchant, and magician a comedy after the Italian manner : acted at the Theatre-Royal / written by Mr. Edward Ravenscroft.

Act. II. Scene I.

Enter Plautino and Spittzaferro.

SPitt.

Ah Signior Plautino, I meet you very luckily, I was just coming to find you.

Plaut.

For what Signior Spittzaferro?

Spitt.

To ask your advice about a business I have in hand.

Plaut.

I'm very glad I meet you, here we may discourse with freedom.

Spitt.

Be cover'd I beseech you, 'tis concerning a matter of great importance, but it is not good to proceed in matters of this nature without the counsel and advice of Friends.

Plaut.

I take it as a particular honour, Signior Spittzaferro, that you make choice of me. Well Sir, acquaint me with the busi∣ness.

Spitt.

But first I desire you not to flatter me, but really and truly to tell me your thoughts.

Plaut.

Well, since you desire it, I will.

Spitt.

There's nothing I should sooner find fault with, than a friend that won't freely tell me his mind.

Plaut.

You are in the right.

Spitt.

In this Age 'tis very hard to find a sincere friend.

Plaut.

Very true.

Spitt.

Wherefore Signior Plautino give me your advice, with all the freedom imaginable.

Plaut.

There's my Hand upon't.

Spitt.

Swear to me.

Plaut.

By our friendship, as I hope to live. Now tell me what ist?

Spitt.

I wou'd know whether you think it convenient for me to marry or not?

Plaut.

For you to marry?

Spitt.

Yes, I my self in Person, what wou'd you counsel me?

Plaut.

I tell you plainly, that 'twill be very indiscreetly done of you to marry, for marriage is a thing that even young people ought to consider of before they do it, and if marriage at the best be counted the greatest of follies, what can be worse than to be guilty of this folly, at an Age when we shou'd be more discreet. In short Sir, I tell you my opinion, I wou'd not counsel you to marry, and you'l be thought the indiscreetest man in the world, having liv'd free to these years, if you shou'd now thrust your neck into the yoak.

Spitt.

And I tell you Signior Plautino, that I'm resolv'd to marry, come what will, and that no body will count me a fool for marrying the Gentlewoman I pretend to, when once they see what manner of person she is.

Plaut.

O! that alters the Case, you did not tell me that.

Spitt.

She's one that's very pritty, and one that I love very well.

Plaut.

You love her very well?

Spitt.

With all my heart, and I have her Fathers consent.

Plaut.

Oh, you have her Fathers consent too?

Spitt.

Yes, and I have promis'd to be marri'd to morrow.

Plaut.

O Marry, Marry, I have no more to say.

Spitt.

I was formerly against marrying, but now I consider if I continue as I am, the race of the Spittzaferro's will be at an end, and in marrying I shall live after I am dead, in my issue.

Plaut.

Therefore you'l do very well to marry.

Spitt.

Yes, what a pleasure I shall take to see a Company of little Creatures, to whom I gave life and motion, and are so ma∣ny small Figures of my self, there shall I see my self drawn to the life in little. O how these little images will be hopping and jumping about me, and calling me Pa pa, talking and prattling, and telling me a company of pritty little foolish tales, O the dear pritty little Poppets, what can be more delightful.

Plaut.

Nothing in the world, therefore marry the first thing you do.

Spitt.

Very good, you give me that Counsel.

Plaut.

I counsel you, you can't do better.

Spitt.

Truly I am very well pleased to find you counsel me so like a friend.

Plaut.

But who is this Person you are to marry?

Spitt.

One Mistress Aurelia.

Plaut.

What the pritty young Mistriss Aurelia?

Spitt.

Yes.

Plaut.

She that is so modish and waggish?

Spitt.

Yes.

Plaut.

Daughter to Signior Ieronimo?

Spitt.

The same.

Plaut.

And Sister to young Alberto that has a command in the Castle?

Spitt.

'Tis she, but him I never saw yet, he's in the Coun∣try.

Plaut.

Mercy upon me?

Spitt.

What say you Signior?

Plaut.

A very fit person for you, marry with all speed.

Spitt.

Have I not made a good choice?

Plaut.

A rare one, ah, what a fine Wife will you have, Marry, Marry, Marry Signior Spittzaferro.

Spitt.

Your approbation pleases me extreamly, I give you ma∣ny thanks for your good counsel, and invite you to my Wedding to morrow.

Plaut.

I'le not fail to come. The young Aurelia Daughter to Signior Ieronimo, marry'd to Signior Spittzaferro, that is not above 53 years of Age; oh what a match, what a fine match is this?

Exit.

Spitt.

This match must needs be very happy, for every body is much pleas'd that hears on't, I have not told it to one but smil'd at my choice as soon as I speak, I shall to morrow be the happiest man in the world. O here comes my Mistress.

Enter Aurelia.

Ah! how pritty, what an Air, how delicately shap'd, and what a Stature! Can any man see her and not have a mind to her? whether art thou going my little Poppet, my dear Wife that is to be, of thy Husband that must be?

Aur.

I'm going about a little business.

Spitt.

Euh—good, my little Mopsie, the hour is coming that we two must make one another happy, I can do with you what e're I please, without any Body's saying why do you so? or is it well done? you will be mine all over from head to foot, I shall then be your right owner, and Master of you all over, of your pritty waggish Eyes, of that pretty little Roguish Nose, of those Cherry-Cherry lips, of those little, little, fritter Ears, of those

pretty blub-cheeks,—of that dimpl'd, dimpl'd Chin, of those round, hard, panting Bubbies, of your soft, white Skin, of your—Euh—oh!—In fine, every part and particle of you will be solely and wholly at my disposal; and I shall be the like to you, to be stroak'd and kiss'd, and do what e're you please with, Are you not glad of this Marriage, my little Wanton?

Aur.

Most extremely glad, I'll assure you: For to say truth, my Father's severity has kept me in a most intollerable subjecti∣on, I have been almost mad for a little more liberty, and especially e're since he was sick. He has kept me so mew'd up in his warm Chamber, that I have wanted room to breath in. Were it not for you, that I must go abroad to buy things for our Wedding, I shou'd never have stirr'd from him: Ah! the fresh Air is so comfortable to me.

Spitt.

—And the sight of me,—

Aur.

Above all,—I have wish'd a thousand times that he would marry me to somebody, that I might get out of his Juris∣diction, and be a little more at my own disposal; and you, I thank you, are come most luckily to do me that good turn.

Spitt.

I'll take you into my tuition.

Aur.

Aye—Signior Spittzaferro, and now I'l be preparing to lead a pleasanter life, to take my full swing of pleasure, to make amends for what I have lost.

Spitt.

Eumh!

Aur.

Now, Sir, you being a very brave person, well bred and one that understands what it is to live, I believe that we shall do well together; and that you will not be one of those trou∣blesome Husbands that wou'd have their Wives live sneaking and mew'd up; 'tis a thing that does not at all agree with me, I shou'd never away with't in a Husband; I can't endure a dull solitary life, 'tis directly against my humour; I'm all Air and Mirth; I like to go where I please, and do what I list.

Spitt.

Eumh!

Aur.

I love Visiting. Plays, Balls, Masquerades, and good Company: I'm for good Clothes,—a sine Coach, and hand∣some Liveries, and appearing amongst the best, as well drest, and as rich as any of e'm.

Spitt.

Eumh! yes, yes.

Aur.

In fine, I'm resolv'd to make my life as pleasant as I can; and I know you'l think your self happy to have a Wife of my humour.

Spitt.

Eumh;—Yes, yes.

Aur.

We'l never be medling, nor thwarting one another; I'l not concern my self at what you do: As I hope, on the other side, you'l not be contradicting, or telling me what I shall do.

Spitt.

Eumh; no, no.

Aur.

As for my part, I think there ought to be a mutual compliance, and that people ought not to marry to be trouble∣some to one another. In fine, when we are married we'l live like two that understand one anothers humour; no jealousy nor suspitious shall trouble your head, but it shall be sufficient that you have an assurance of my fidelity; as I shall have a good opi∣nion of yours. But what troubles you, I perceive your coun∣tenance much chang'd on the sudden?

Spitt.

Some splenatick vapours that rise and dizzy my brain.

Aur.

'Tis a distemper that abundance are troubled with. But our Marriage will take away all that. Adieu, Signior Spittza∣ferro, my dear Husband,—That must be, of your Wife that is to be. I am in a little hast at present, because I have not Clothes and things about me as I wou'd have; I'm just going to buy me what things I want, you shall see how sine I'l be to morrow—Adieu Signior Spittzaferro.

Ex.

Enter Plautino.

Plaut.

Signior Spittzaferro, I'm glad to find you still here: I met just now a Jeweller who had the finest Diamond-Ring that I have ever seen; and thinking you might want one to present to your Mrs. I earnestly entreated him to come to you, and let you see't. He will be here presently.

Spitt.

No hast, no hast, Sir.

Plaut.

How! what mean you, Signior Spittzaferro, you were very hot upon't e'en now?

Spitt.

Since that I have some scruples come into my head concerning my Marriage: I will very well consider on't before I proceed any farther; I wou'd sain have somebody interpret to me a Dream which I had last night; and but just now call to mind. You know that Dreams are as they were Glasses, that represent to us things that shall happen. I dreamt that I

was in a Ship, and the Sea very tempestuous; and that—

Plaut.

Signior Spittzaferro, I have a little urgent business at present that will not let me stay to hear you out; I have no skill in dreams, besides, I give no credit to e'm. But as for consultation about your Marriage, hear a couple of very learn'd Philosophers, your Neighbours, Signior Scaramouch, and Signior Doctor Pancracio, one a bold Aristotelian, and the other a mo∣dest Academick; with them you may debate about every par∣ticular of your Marriage, they being of different Sects, you may hear their several opinions, and from both judg what's best for you to do; for my part, I'm satisfi'd with what I said to you before: And so your Servant.

Exit.

Spitt.

He's in the right; I ought in this case to consult these learned Men.

Exit.

Enter Pancracio and Scaramouth.

Panc.

This unadvised Marriage of my Son extremely alters the measures we had taken.—

Scar.

Strange folly of youth!

Panc.

But no matter, Signior Scaramouch.

Scar.

Let me tell you that—

Panc.

I'l suddenly remove all obstacles.

Scar.

That the education of children—

Panc.

Is not altogether sufficient to prevent e'm from running into extravagancies, because nature is subject to frailty, and we are sometimes deceived by ill under the species of good.

Scar.

Signior, no, that—

Panc.

That it is better to bestow it upon a Son than an Estate, because Wealth respects only the body, and may be taken from us; but we cannot be depriv'd of our virtues, which are the riches of the mind, because more permanent, and of greater importance.

Scar.

No, that—

Panc.

That it cannot be taught in old age, because the habits that are grown up with us are too deeply fix'd in nature, to be rooted out.

Scar.

No, that—

Panc.

That unless it be given to youth, they will miscarry all their life long, because they want the Bridle that shou'd curb and restrain e'm in their full carreer.

Scar.

No, that—

Panc.

That nothing can be more beneficial, because without it we are things unpolish'd, and rather Bruits than Men.

Scar.

No, that—

Panc.

That, what? what, Signior Scaramouch?

Scar.

Euh! Signior Doctore!

Panc.

Oh, Bono!—

Scar.

Oh, Patientia!—

Panc.

Signiorsi.

Scar.

That the education of children—

Panc.

Is a task—

Scar.

Signior, no.

Panc.

Is of that consequence.

Scar.

Signior, no.

Panc.

Is of such a value—

Scar.

Signior, no.

Panc.

Is a thing t—

Scar.

Signior, no, no, no, Signior no.

Panc.

Why, what is it then, Signior Scaramouch?

Scar.

You have done?

Panc.

Signiorsi.

Scar.

You have no more to say?

Panc.

Signior, no.

Scar.

You are satisfy'd.

Panc.

Signiorsi.

Scar.

You'l hear me now?

Panc.

Signiorsi.

Scar.

And not interrupt me?

Panc.

Signior, no.

Scar.

You promise?

Panc.

Yes.

Scar.

Upon your word?

Panc.

Yes.

Scar.

We'l talk some other time then.

Panc.

O! que Diavolo!

Walks gravely away.

Scar.

Hola! Signior Scaramouch, let us discourse a little.

Panc. goes after him, and takes him by the sleeve. Scaramouch returns.

Scar.

I say then, the Education of children.

Panc.

Aye, the Education of children

Scar.

Is a thing not to be expected from every Father; for no one is fit to give Education to youth—

This is spoke at the same time that Pan∣crace speaks.

Enter Harlequin. Sees e'm both gabling together, comes and stands betwixt e'm, laughs, looks in their faces, and runs out.—

But such as are of great Reason and Judgment. Hence it proceeds that so many Sons miscarry, because their Parents foolishly presuming on their own abilities, will be giving dire∣ctions when they want it themselves: And how is it possible that any shou'd be well instructed, when he that will teach, needs to be taught. No, no, they who cannot give some eminent proof of their Abilities, ought rather to commit their Pupils to the care of those who are of known sufficiency, acd thorowly ex∣perienc'd in the Principles and Rudiments of—

Enter Harl. with a Drum, stands betwixt e'm, and beats lowder and lowder; they turn from each other, and hold their ears. He goes out laughing.

Panc.

Concurs so much to their

This is spoke at the same time as that above.

future being, that it is a duty in∣cumbent on all Parents, to see e'm well brought up, and en∣doctrinated; for without Education our life is offensive to others, and a burthen to our selves; and Education consists principally in three points, First, in the Authority of him that instructs: Secondly, in his Care; and Thirdly, in his Ability: He must have Authority, or he is not regarded; for Youth is headstrong; he must have Care, because they are heedless; he must have Abilities, because many are indocile, and hard to be taught; and nothing but the soundness of his Reason can expel their Ignorance; which being innate and—

Exit.

Panc.

Oh! so; Sig∣nior Scaramouch.

Looks about, sees no-body, and turns to Scaramouch.

Scar.

Signior.

Pancracio stands in a posture leaning his ear, as listning to what Scar. will say; Scar does the same to him.—

Panc.

Speak.

Scar.

Si.

As they stand listning, Harl enters, stands betwixt 'em, looks in their faces; bursting into a little laughter, retreats, sings, and laughs.

Harl.

Ha! he! he! he! hi!

Ex.

Panc.

Signior Scaramoueh.

Scar.

Ap—pouh.

Panc.

Speak.

Scar.

Ap—pouh

Harl.

Ah—he—he—hi!

Harl. hits each a pat with his Sword on the Buttocks; as they each turn round,—he passes betwixt them, and goes out: they, in in turning, face each other.

Panc.

Signior Scaramouch, what have you to say?

Scarl.

Nothing.

Panc.

Nothing?

Scarl.

Nothing, Signior Pancrace, but that if your Son had had a discreet Father for his Instructor, he wou'd have known better things e're this, than making of Contracts and Mar∣riages.

Panc.

But what if the Son of Signior Scaramouch, that has learnt the fine Accomplishments of Musick, Dancing, Fencing and Riding, and that has had such a wise Father to govern him, has done the like?

Scarl.

How, Signior Pancrace?

Panc.

Even so.

Scarl.

I understand not the Riddle.

Panc.

Harlequin can explain it.—Adieu.

Scarl.

Done the like! O here he comes.

Enter Octavio.

Octav.

Good-morrow to you Sir.

Scarl.

Octavio!

Oct.

Your Blessing.

Scarl.

No matter for Ceremony.

Oct.

Are you unwilling to receive the tenders of my du∣ty?

Scarl.

I have other business with you.

Oct.

What, Sir?

Scarl.

Stand before me, look me full in the face; fix your eyes upon my forhead.

Oct.

No Sir.

Scarl.

I read guilt in your looks.

Oct.

What do you mean Sir?

Scarl.

What horrid thing have you done?

Oct.

Nothing, Sir, to offend you

Scarl.

Nothing?

Oct.

No, Sir.

Scarl.

You'l not confess,—Harlequin says true.

Oct.

Harlequin!

Scarl.

O, do you blush at that?

Oct.

Has he told you any thing of me?

Scarl.

I'm in hast, look to't; if thou hast dishonour'd me, I'le renounce thee: And come not in my sight.

Ex.

Enter Cynthio, Harlequin.

Oct.

O! Are you there, Sir? I'm glad to find your Wor∣ship.

Harl.

Eh! your Servant, Sir; your Humble Servant, Signior Octavie.—I am your most Humble Servant.

Oct.

You are very Ceremonious, but I shall spoil your Com∣pliment, and let you understand,

Harl.

Ah! Signior Octavio!

Octavio draws. Harl. falls on's knees.

Cynt.

O! hold.

Oct.

Pray don't hinder me.

Harl.

Eh! Signior!

Cynt.

Signior Octavio.

Oct.

Pray don't interpose.

Cynt.

O! pray don't offer to—

Harl.

Eh!—How have I offended, in what?

Oct.

You are ignorant, are you?—I'le give you instructions, I will.

Cynt.

Pray be pacify'd.

Oct.

Ho; I'l make the Rogue instantly confess his treachery;

yes Sirrah, I will: you thought it should never have been dis∣cover'd, but I'l have an open confession from thy own mouth, or run my Sword down your throat as deep as ever it was in the scabbard.

Harl.

Ah! poor Harlequin, can you have the heart to—

Oct.

Confess then.

Harl.

Signior, I confess I have offended you.

Oct.

O, have you so!

Harl.

Truly I have done you wrong, I confess it, Signior; but I don't know in what.

Oct.

I'l refresh your memory.

Cynt.

No, no, Signior Octavio.

Harl.

Well, Sir, since I must, I confess that my Companions and I drank up three of those six Flasks of Florence-Winae you sent to your Friend for a Present; when I told you that a Tile fell from the top of a House which was mending, and dropt just into my Basket, and broke 'em.

Oct.

O! did you drink it, Raseal, did you?

Harl.

Yes Sir, and ask your pardon.

Oct.

I'm glad I know't. But this is not the thing I now que∣stion you about.

Harl.

This not the thing?

Oct.

No, 'tis a business that more neerly concerns me.

Harl.

I have done nothing else.

Oct.

Have you not, Sir, have you not?

Harl.

Eh!

Cynt.

Hold! hold!

Harl.

Eh! Signior, yes, yes: About a fortnight since, when you sent me one night to your Mistress, to Present her with the Gold-Watch, and I return'd cover'd over with dirt, and my face bloody, and told you that I was set upon by Rogues in the dark, as I went cross the square, who knockt me down, and rob'd me both of that and my Money—

Oct.

So.—

Harl.

It was all but invention, I went and sold it.

Oct.

You sold it, you did.—

Harl.

Yes, but can't imagine how you shou'd come to know't.

Oct.

A very good confession.

Harl.

Signior, I wanted a small sum of Money.

Oct.

But this is not the thing neither I was resolv'd to know.

Harl.

No? oh! I am very sick, Signior.

Oct.

No, Villain, this is not it; but I'l make you out with it, or—

offers to strike.

Cynt.

Hold.

Harl.

Eh!—Well, Signior, you remember one night, as you came home from your Mistresses, that a Rogue came behind you, and knockt you down into the kennel with a great Club, and all spoil'd your new Clothes.—

Oct.

Yes.

Harl.

'Twas I, Signior, laid you sprawling, and then fell all along my self, as if I had been knockt down too, and cry'd out Thieves! Thieves!

Oct.

It was your Roguery, yes.

Harl.

Only, Signior, to make you keep better hours, and cause you to come home sooner a nights from your Mistresses, where you used to sit up late, and let me stand waiting for you with∣out in the cold, to the great prejudice of my health.

Oct.

A precious servant, when time and place are more con∣venient, we'l talk more at large of these particulars; but at pre∣sent I am only concern'd to know what thou hast lately done to me, yet worse than all this.

Harl.

Not this neither.

Oct.

No, Sirrah!

Harl.

This is all.

Oct.

This all?

Harl.

Signiorsi.

Oct.

No, Sirrah, this is not all, and I'l not leave thee till thou hast confest the very thing.

Aarl.

But will you leave me then?

Oct.

But confess.

Offers to strike.

Harl.

Eh! Signior, tell me what 'tis, and I'l confess with all! my heart.

Oct.

Quick, Sirrah, quick; I'm in hast.

Harl.

Let it alone till another time, and I'l think on't against I see you next.

Oct.

Sirrah, one minutes delay, and thou art dead.

Harl.

Eh! Signior Octavio; Mercy, Signior, I have told you all.

Oct.

This all?

Harl.

Signiorsi.

Oct.

You'l not confess then what you told my Father?

Harl.

Your Father! yes—

Oct.

What?

Harl.

Nothing.

Oct.

Nothing?

Harl.

Signior, no.

Oct.

No?

Harl.

'Signior, no.

Oct.

Look to't, I had it from his own mouth.

Harl.

Signior, with your permission, Heaven won't bless him, if he tells lies.

Oct.

If I find you did, I'l cut your throat as sure—

Enter Plautino.

Plaut.

Sir, I bring you ill news.

Cynt.

What, Plautino?

Harl.

Cut my throat! Signior, no; Signior Octavio, Servi∣tore.

Ex. running.

Plaut.

The Egyptians are upon going away with your Zer∣binetta, and she, with tears in her eyes, charg'd me to come with all speed▪ to acquaint you, that if you don't come and bring the Money (within two hours) which the Company demand for her, you will lose her for ever; for they intend for Germany.

Cynt.

Within two hours!

Plaut.

At farthest.

Cynt.

Without thy aid, Plautino, I am wretched. If thou hast no invention to procure the Sum, I'm undone for ever.

Plaut.

How much is't?

Cynt.

Five hundred Ducats.

Oct.

And I am ruin'd too, if thou canst not procure me 200 Pistols.

Plaut.

I have a Mint in my Brain, and I'l coin so much for you both presently.

Cynt.

But time presses the performance.

Plaut.

I'l make both your Fathers Purses bleed for't. As for your business, the Engine is already fitted. Well, let's about our design: Where's Harlequin? he must make one.

Cynt.

Your threats have made him desert us.

Plaut.

He'l be a necessary Impliment.

Oct.

I'l endeavour to regain him before he's got quite out of our reach.

Cynt.

His fear will make him avoid you.

Plaut.

I'l hunt him out.

Exeunt.

Enter Harlequin.

Harl.

I'l have no more to do with young men; I'l apply my self to the old, that are grave and serious. I'l go and consult with Signior Pancrace, the learn'd Doctor, to know how I shall be a wise man. Hola! Signior Doctore!

Enter Pancraccia.

Panc.

Who's there?

Harl.

Your Servant, Signior Doctore.

Panc.

O ho! Harlequin, what news?

Harl.

Signior Pancrace, I have a mind to be a Philosopher.

Panc.

Good.

Harl.

I am vext that my Father and Mother did not breed me up to be a Scholar when I was young.

Panc.

A very rational reflections; Nam sine Doctrina vita est quasi mortis Imago; You know what that is, you understand Latin?

Harl.

Yes, but in a manner as it were that I did not. Tell me the meaning of't▪ I pray.

Panc.

That is to say; Without learning, life is but the Image of death.

Harl.

I find this Latin has much of truth in't. Pray give me your instructions. for I have a mind to be one of your Sect.

Panc.

You have the Foundation of Knowledg already, the Principles and Rudiments of Learning.

Harl.

Eh; yes, yes, I can write and read.

Panc.

What is it you have most mind to learn? Logick?

Harl.

Logick! what is Logick?

Panc.

Logick is that which directeth the three operations of the understanding.

Harl.

The three operations of the understanding! what be they?

Panc.

The first, the second, and the third; the first is, to ap∣prehend

well by the means of the Universals. The second is▪ to judg well by means of the Categories. The third is, to draw a consequence well by means of the Figures, Barbara, Celarent, Darii, Ferio, Baralipton, &c.

Harl.

He's Conjuring.

starts back.

Panc.

Come near.

Harl.

What are these, the names of Spirits, or of Heathen Philosophers?

Panc.

The names of Figures, the chief things in Logick?

Harl.

Logick then I find is full of cramp-words; teach me something that is not so crabbid, something that I may learn with pleasure.

Panc.

Have you a mind to learn Morals?

Harl.

Morals! what's the meaning of Morals?

Panc.

Moral Philosophy treats of Happiness, teaches men to moderate their Passions, and—

Harl.

Eh; Signior, no; I can't moderate my passions; when I am vext, I am as angry as the Devil in Hell, and hearken to no manner of reason, therefore Morals will be in vain.

Panc.

Wou'd you then learn Physicks, or Natural Philoso∣phy?

Harl.

What is that about?

Panc.

It explicates the Principles of natural things, and the Proprieties of bodies: It discourses of the nature of the Ele∣ments, Metals, Minerals, Stones, Plants, and Animals: and teaches the cause of Meteors, of the Rainbow, of Comets, Lightnings, Thunder, of Rain, Snow, Hail, of Winds, Tempests, and Earth∣quakes.

Harl.

There's too much hurry in this, it makes too great a din••in a man's ears, and giddies his brain.

Panc.

Meta-Physicks then?

Harl.

Meta-Physicks, Signior! Meta-Physicks?

Panc.

Treats of Heaven, and Angels, of Spirits and—

Harl.

No, I'l have nothing to do with Spirits.

Panc.

What wou'd you learn then?

Harl.

Teach me to spell well, that I may write so, as people may know what it means.

Panc.

Oh, Orthography!

Harl.

Yes, Orthography.

Panc.

O, very well; have you e're a Primmer?

Harl.

I learn the Primmer!

Panc,

Yes, 'tis very requisite for a man that will be a Philo∣sopher, to understand the Primmer well.

Harl.

I was a Philosopher twenty years ago then. Teach me something that is mighty fine to know, something that is very curious, that I may pass for one deeply learn'd. Teach me to understand the Almanack.

Panc.

The Almanack?

Harl.

Yes, that I may know how many days are in a week, how many weeks in a month, how many months in a year.

Panc.

Good.

Harl.

How to know when Quarter-day comes, and how often in a year: that I may be sure never to lose any of my wages.

Panc.

Good! so.

Harl.

That I may know when the Wind blows, or does not blow; when it rains, or not rains; or when the Moon shines, or does not shine.

Panc.

Things very material, and necessary to be learnt: sol∣low me, and I'l carry you to a fine old Gentlewoman that lives hard-by, who shall instruct you.

Harl.

Is she a Philosopher, Signiore?

Panc.

A profound one, and deeply skill'd in the Primmer, and the Almanack. Come, I'l recommend you to her, and she shall take pains with you.

Harl.

Your Servant, Signiore Pancrace.

Exeunt.

The End of the second Act.