Ignoramus a comedy as it was several times acted with extraordinary applause before the Majesty of King James : with a supplement which, out of respect to the students of the common law, was hitherto wanting / written in Latine by R. Ruggles ... ; and translated into English by R. C. ...

IGNORAMUS.

The First ACT,

The First SCENE.

The ARGUMENT.

MR. Munly an Alderman of London espoused one Dorothy a Gentlewoman of Burdeaux to whose trust be dying left two Daughters, Katherin, and Isabell which he had by a former VVife; Mr. Manly being dead Theodorus takes to VVife his Relict, by whom at one birth he had two Children Anthonio and Anthonine, so like unto one another that they could not be distinguished but onely by a little Mole on the right Cheek of Anthonine; an •• Agreement was made betwixt Theodore, and Dorothy to marry the two Daugh∣ters, to their two Sons, Katharine to Anthonine, and Isabell to An∣thonio. Isabell being brought up by a Nurse at Dertford was af∣terwards

stollen away by a certain Moor named Urtado; Theodo∣rus leaving his Wife together with Anthonine and Catharine at London doth sayl with his Son Anthonio unto Burdeaux.

Theodorus stooping now under the burden of Age relates this story to his Son Anthonio whom he is sending to London to bring from thence his Mother and the rest of the Family with him; he (being detained by the Love of Rosabell) doth pretend causes of delay. His Father is importunate with him to be gone, from whom, after much solicitation, he hardly obtaines the short liberty of one or two hours stay.

Enter Theodorus and Anthonio.

Theo.

And wilt thou be obedient then my son?

Ant.

Sir, you are my Father, what you please command!

The.

Well said my Son, then first know what it is, and of what mo∣ment it is that I would have you do; I do believe you heretofore have heard though but obscurely how that a London Merchant did buy of me here at Burdeaux great store of good Wine for a round sum of Money, but payed nothing at the present, he entred into bonds & seal'd them, but never did discharge them; trust not at all my Son, it is a high point of wisedome, I hope you understand me.

Ant.

Sir, I do, will you be pleased to proceed.

The.

This London Merchant forbearing his bonds the payment, I repaired to London to demand my Mony, where being fed & flat∣terd with delays I grew familiarly acquainted with a widow of my own Country, whose name is Dorothy; she then did live in London, and was there Married to a rich Knight and Alderman of that City, whose name was Mally, no, it was Manley. He not long af∣ter his Marriage did take her with him to his own habitation in London, and falling into an irrecoverable sicknesse he made her sole Executress, & departed this world. He had no children by her, but two by a former Wife, and both of them of an extraordinary beauty, the eldest Daughters name was Katharine, and the young∣est Isabell. These two, with a considerable Dowry for them, he on his Death bed left to the care and charge of Dorothy (although their step-mother) who was to provide them Husbands when they arrived to the years of Marriage; they did exceed in Wealth but excelled more in Vertue and in Beauty, what shall I say, I loved the Widow well, I loved her intirely, a long time I courted

her, a long time she denied me, at the last I obtain'd her good will & married her: the year being almost expired she was delivered at one Birth, of two children: you Anthonio are one of them, & Antho∣nine the other, and both so like, that one could not be known from the other, neither I, nor your Mother could distinguish be∣twixt you, were it not for a little Mole which Anthonine had in his right Cheek. Six years afterwards returning hither into my own Countrey I took you along with me, and left Anthonine with his Mother at London. Since that time full fifteen years are expired; for as we travelled hither through France, the War being very hot betwixt the French and English, we were taken by the Ene∣my, and but six months are passed since a peace being on both sides concluded we were permitted to have our liberty; no sooner was I a free Man, but every day I resolved with my self to go to London to see my Dorothy, but being detained by wrang∣ling suits of Law, I remain here still whether I will or not, and am still here likely to remain, O the Lernaean Race of bold Pragmatick men who immortaly do sow divisions amongst mor∣tality, and perpetually make one suit to beget another. Where∣fore fly suits at Law, a lean Arbitration is b••••ter then a fat Judge∣ment. Remember what I speak unto you.

Sir, I do.

Theo.

I therefore do much desire, whiles I may, to see your Mother, and your brother, and his new Wife your Sister.

Ant.

They say he hath Married Katharine.

Theo.

'Tis right, for I and my wife had long agoe determined to give the two Daughters of Mr. Manley by his former wife unto you, and to your brother, and when you were but little ones you were contracted to one another, Katharine to Anthonine, and Isabell to you; but Isabell poor Girle that was to be Married to you is lost, she was brought up at Detford near unto the River of 〈◊〉〈◊〉 where being but four years of age, whither she was drowned, or whether she and her Nurse were both carryed away by force it is uncertain, but she hath been now missing these nine∣teen years.

Ant.

Father did you ever see the other sister Katharine?

Theo.

Never, Her Grand-mother brought her up in Devon∣shire which is distant many Miles from London; but Son, do you

know what it is I would have you doe.

Ant.

No Sir, but if it be that which I suspect I am utterly un∣done.

Theo.

It is this, I would have you immediately set sayl for London to bring hither to Burdeaux your Mother, Brother, and the rest of the Family along with you.

Ant.

I am undone, for in the mean time I shall loose my Love.

Theo.

Behold this letter, your Mother hath sent me word that she will come over her self with all the speed she could, and that immediately she would dispatch your brother Anthonine to me; imagine with your self what a happinesse it will be to you to en∣joy the Kisse of your Mother and the Embraces of your Brother. What ayles you? why are your Eyes so sad, and your Brows so full of wrinkles? are you not well?

Ant.

To speak the truth Sir—this tis to love.—

Theo.

What! are you in love?

Ant.

With the Land Sir, the rough Sea and I shall never agree, I shall hardly fall in love with it.

Theo.

Do you make a sport of my commands, and pretend excuses, I plainly do observe it; you must and shall be gone immediately.

Ant.

Immediately Sir.

Theo.

I Sir immediately, will you not obey me?

Ant.

It is my duty, but I pray sir give me some little space to consider of it.

Theo.

This is fine? is it not? when the Father commandeth, the Son must ask time and space to consider of it, I am ashamed of you.

Ant.

Sir I will readily perform your commands—But—

Theo.

But what?

Ant.

I most humbly crave of you that you will vouchsafe me the space of six or seven dayes to prepare my self, and to give a farwel to my Friends.

Theo.

Let not that trouble you, I will do that businesse for you, and as for your journey all things are already in a readinesse, I have hired a Ship, I have payed for it there is nothing wanting.

Ant.

Sir, England ••ying Northwards I shall be wind bound; for the wind being now in the South blows directly upon the North point.

Theod.

It is so much the more advantageous to you, and should invite you to make so much the more hast, for you have a wind according unto wish to conduct you speedily into England. Have you any thing else to offer to me?

Antho.

Do you not hear Sir, how the wind is angry with the sea? do you not see how, the clouded sky doth threaten Tem∣pests?

Theod.

Are you in your right sense, or do you dream being broad awake? the gentle southwind blows in a calm and an un∣clouded air: I know not what you mean, you do not well to dally with me; you must aboard, and that immediately, I begin to be very angry with you.

Antho.

What immediately! ah my dear Rozabella!

Theod.

What are you weeping? God forbid! what ailes the young man?

Antho.

Why—Is it such a wonder Sir, if the anger of an in∣dulgent Father hath drawn fears from a dutiful and an obedient Son.

Theo.

If it be so, 'tis well; why do you make any further delays?

Antho.

Sir, I only beseech thus much of you, as to grant me but so little time as to restore to my friends those things of theirs which for the present are in my Custody.

Theod.

So little time, how little do you mean?

Antho.

Four hours, or more.

'Tis two more then can be granted, the ship is already under sayl, and the sea-men do expect you.

Antho.

Then g••ve me two hours.

Theod.

I will grant you two, In the mean time I will go in, and finish, and seal my letters to be sent to Dorothy, and tell out your money, but you must be a good husband of it; for the many suits at law have been very chargeable to me. We must be always giving to these suck-purses the lawyers, always, alwayes; Gold can doe more then Right.

Exit Theod.

The second SCENE of the first ACT.

The ARGUMENT.

ANtonio complains of his misfortune, and realates his love, and his courting of Rosabella the daughter of a Noble man of Portugall, who dying at Fess, did commit her to the trust of his brother Roderigo Torcol, who exercising the trade of a Pandar at Burdeaux, would not sell her under six hundred Crowns, which Ignoramus the Lawyer residing then at Burdeaux, for the compo∣sing of Differences and suits at law, did bargain to give unto him; Neverthelesse Antonio doth rejoice that he and his love have already plighted their troths to one another.

Antonio alone.

What but two hours! must I live but two hours longer? woe is me; If I go without thee Rozabella, I go without my life; my Fa∣ther neverthelesse commands me to be gone; Him I must obey; but love doth enforce me to stay whether I will or not; what shall I doe? whether I go or stay I am undone; I must obey my Father, This only doth remain to give him the last Farewel before I go hence and die; for that my hopes are quite lost, the bare Dis∣position of the most impure Portugall, Uncle to my Love and who now liveth with him, doth prompt me to believe. He pretends him∣self to be a Merchant but is indeed no more then a Bawd; his name is Torcol so called from his w••y & distorted neck & maners: did you but see him you would say you never saw an uglier Bulk of sin; but be he never so deformed, he as yet gives an honest & a civil entertainment to my Love, and will dispose of her in mar∣riage, as becometh his Brothers Daughter; for a noble Portugall the Father of Rozabella dying at Fess (to which place the rougher hand of war and conquest brought him) left his Daughter as a Ward to his tuition being his brother, and then at Fess: she be∣ing now the most beautiful of her sex is courted by many who would be proudl•• glad to marry her, though without a portion: But the greedy and covetous Pandar will have money for her; I therefore who would morgage my life to have her have con∣tracted with him to make her my wife for six hundred Crowns.

The bargain was struck but on this condition to pay him the mony within the space of a month. I have ever since made it my business to procure it but could not effect it; He therefore takes me to be unable, and himself deluded, and is making a new Market with an English Lawyer, who being sent for from thence with many others of his Nation and Profession to compose some differences between some of their own Nation here at Burdeaux, hath that leisure forsooth to fall in Love, and indeed is inflamed to a madnesse with the beauties of my Mistresse; Instead of Latin he speaks no∣thing but Barbarismes, A meer Kickshaw, and an Asse laden with Gold; and to be a short a Lawyer. But this doth much re∣joice me that our Hands and Hearts are linked, unknown to him, unknown to my own Father from whom I carefully do conceal it. But whiles I am speaking my hour is slipt from me, a poor horari∣ous man. I will make hast unto her, but who is this? Ignoramus the Lawyer; This is He who would take my Love from me, but I may chance meet with him.

Theod.

within—

Son Antonio, Antonio.

Anton.

Woe is me my Father calls.

Theod.

Antoni, Antonio.

Anton.

Sir.

Theod.

Come hither to me presently.

Exit Anton.

The third SCENE of the first ACT

The Argument: Ignoramus having called his two Clerks, Dullman and Pecus, doth relate unto them his love to Rosabella and laughes at his third Clark Musaeus, as a predicable and an University man.

Ignoramus, Dullman, Musaeus, Pecus.

IGnor.

Fy, Fy; Tanta pressa, tantum Croudum, ut fui penè trusus ad mortem; Here is so great a presse, so great a Crowd, that I am even thrust to death. I will have an Action of Intrusio a∣g••inst all and every one of them▪ Aha Mounsiers, will you thrust par joinct Tenaunt. It is a plain Case, Il est point dr••ite de le bien

seance, I sweat extremely; O Hot, hot! precor Deum ne mel∣••avi meum pingue, pray God I have not melted my fat. Phy, phy: In the Name of God where are my Clerks? Dullman! Dullman!

Dullm.

Here Master, Here.

Ignora.

Vous auez Dullman, Meltor Dullman meltor rubba me cum Towallio, rubba, O Dullman, I am melted, Dullman, I am melted, Rub me over with a Towel, rub me Dullman, where is Pecus.

Pecus.

Here Sir.

Ignor.

Fac ventum, make a wind, Pecus, so, so, where is Fledwit?

Dullman.

He is not inventus.

Ignor.

Put your Cloaks upon me now for fear I take cold. So, so—Ainsi bene faict, Amongst all my troubles and punishments it doth much rejoice and comfort me at this present that I have made a good agreament at the law amongst our English here at Burdeaux; a good agreament, Aggreamentum quasi aggregatio mentium. Well— too morrow hoyfabimus vela we will hoyse sails, and return to London; It is high ••ime we came hither Octabis Hilarii, and it is now almost Quindena Pasche.

Dullm.

I Swear unto you Master, this day you have tickled the point of the law to some tune: titillasti punctum legis Master.

Igno.

He He, I think I have tickled it; Si le nom del granteur, o•• grante soit raze, ovinterline, on faict pol, le faict est grandement suspitious.

Dull.

And then again, non obstant si faict pol; And that, also in Coin.

Pecus.

But that above all, D'vn faict pendu en le smoake, nun∣quam audivi titillatum melius, I never heard a Case better tickled.

Ignor.

And what do you say Musaeus?

Musaeus.

I understood but little Sir.

Ignor.

You are a Galltierista, vocatus a Coxcombe, Musaeus; I shall never make you a Lawyer.

Dull.

Never, never; He was a praedicabile; he, an Universitant.

Ignor.

They are pitiful Cle••ks, and great Idoets these Uni∣versitants. I do wonder quomodo spendisti tempus, how you did spend your time amongst them?

Musaeus.

For the most part I studied Logick.

Ignor.

Logick! —What Village, what Town is this Logick?

Musae.

It is one of the liberal Arts.

Ignor.

Liberal! So I thought; in the Name of God, study Arts thriving and gainful: Non est mundus, This is not a world for liberal Arts.

Mus.

I was addicted also to the love of Philosphy.

Ignor.

Addicted to love! what? Are you pro Strumpotis & Baggagiis? Strumpets and Baggages; if you take bad courses, you are not for me. I will return you back again unto your parents.

Musae.

God keep you in that mind.

Ignor.

Quotu est Clocka nunc? what a Clock is it now?

Dull.

Between eight and nine.

Ignor.

Go therefore to my lodging with your Bags and your Rolls: what is that? let me see that Instrument; man•• petit, mane— stay a little, stay I say whiles I put my spectacles on my nose: Oh ho, ho: now I know it; This Indenture made betwixt Roger Rattledock of Caxton in the County of Brecknock, O ho: Richard Fen, and John Den: O ho; proud Buzzard plaintiff a∣gainst Peagoose defendant. O ho, look you here? Here is one letter faulty, mend it, mend it; for in law but one Comma mis∣placed, overthrows a whole plea. Now go your wayes. Do you take this? Do you ingrosse that, and do you Pecus trusse up the Portmantles and put all things in a readinesse for our journey.

Exeunt Dullman, Musaeus, Pecus.

Ignoramus alone.

Hoy ho, Rosabella, Hey, ho; I am not going now to the Courts at Westminster but to the joyful Court of Venus held at Torcolls; Cupid her Sheriff would never let me alone till he found me in her Bailiwick: At the first time when I loved Rosabella but a lit∣tle, he sent me a little Capias, and then a great Capias, and after∣wards other Capiasses, and more Capias and innumerable Capias, till at the last capavit me ut legatum, being bereaved of all Sense and Reason; so that I am now but just as a Fly without a head; Buzzo & torno, I buzze up and down, and I turn here and I turn there, but I know not what I doe my self. When I am drawing up an Instrument, if a woman be named, I write Rosabella; For Corpus cum causa, I write Corpus cum cauda; for Nouerint universi, Am a verint universi; for Habere ad rectum, Habere ad lectum;

and so I spoil the whole Instrument: Hey, ho, ho, hey ho.

The first ACT,

the fourth SCENE.

The Argument. Torcol the Bawd brings in his Wenches to salute Ignoramus, having first related the story of his shipwrack, and the reasons that put him upon such a dishonest course of life: He bargains with Ignoramus, that if he either brings, or sends six hundred Crowns with the Instrument and private token he shall have Rosabella, which Ignoramus doth promise to perform.

Torcol, Ignoramus, Wenches.

TOrcol.

Pseca••, See that Corinna doth use this Wash, and Sabina that Vermilion; let Coelia wear this Dresse to day, and Cor∣cas that: when you are ready (Girles) come hither,; for I will have you sing and play and dance before me, such Arts make shipwracks of your Lovers. I have been wrackt my self, but not by such Syrens: Returning once from Fess to Portu∣gall, a shipwrack made me poor, and did inforce me to such vile Arts as these; therefore with that small stock was left I hired Wenches from several Countries, and as different in language as in habits, They are all adorn'd in their own Countries fashion. The smell of gain is sweet from any thing; But the spotless Virgin my Cosin Rosabella, I hope this day to marry happily to Ignoramus, and I am to receive for her six hundred Crowns in Gold—But who is this, O Seignior Ignoramus, the most honoured Man of all men; Are you here Sir, Bazo las manus Seignior, I am the servant of your servants.

Ignor.

Sure this is the Pope.

Torc.

What service will you command me my Lord and Master?

Ignor.

Ha, he, he; I will give you a Supersedeas for these Com∣plements, I believe you have put your neck into so wry a form, with your congying and your cringing.

He lays his leg over him.

Torc.

Sir, It was a misfortune I got here at Burdeaux by ma∣king

once a trial of a parcel of wives if they were good or not.

Ignor.

Will you not have a Breve de recto for it?

Torc.

Whether I am streight, or whether I am crooked, I am yours all over Seignior: where are these Girles? why come they not forth, O Seignior?

Enter VVenches.

Ignor.

Forbear I pray your Cringes and your Cruragies: But what Females are these? Are they your Goods and Chattels?

Torc.

Sir, I am both a Merchant and a Musician: I keep here a School for Musick.

Ignor.

There is no trusting to a Fiddle-string. Of what Na∣tion are these?

Torc.

She with a Harp was born in Greece: The other is a German: She with a Timbrel is an Hebrew: She that stands by her, is an English woman: She with a Flute is a Spaniard; and those two with Lutes in their hands, the one of them was born in France, the other in Arcadia; the other four, a Venecian, a Per∣sian, a Turkish Damosel, and a Moor. Join hand in hands, and lead on the Dance.

Ignor.

They are very pretty Minstrels: Are you their Master?

They dance and sing.

Torc.

Well done my Girles, in earnest: Now go in, but first every one of you in an humble posture salute this Gentleman.

All in their several languages salute and kisse him.

Ign.

What do you make account to do with me? Habetis war∣rantum de osculando, Have you got any warrant to kiss me? what I vi & armis too; you are good ones I dare warrant you: but who is this that cleavs so close to my lip?

(the Moon kisseth him last of all)

phy phy, Away, away, It is the wife of the Divel. But tell me Seig∣nior, Do those never play at unlawful games against the Statute?

Exeunt VVenches.

Torc.

Believe me Sir, they are unstained, and sealed Virgins.

Igno.

Sealed! I believe they are sealed with the common Seal. Ha, ha, he.

Torc.

Neither they nor I admit of any such loosness Seignior: God buy to you.

Ign.

Nay stay a little! what are you angry! I only frangebam jo∣oum did but break a jest, which with us in both is instead & ought to be done although on a mans life; and you take it in bono serio,

in good earnest, Come— be merry, And tell me how doth my Rosabella?

Torc.

Oh, she Seignior, because she is no Maid is to marry a∣nother.

Ignor.

But are you in sobria tristitia; speak you this in sober sadnesse?

Ignor.

Diable! what Fraud, what Covine, what Deceit is this? was there not an Indenture made betwixt you and me, that if I gave you six hundred Crowns, I should marry your Ward Rosabella; and was not this dies appunctatus the appoint∣ed Day for the payment of it? Is not this true?

Torc.

It is.

Ignor.

Well, do what you will, I have your Indenture and Obligation safe and sound, signed and dated, and delivered with your own hand? And if you deliver me not Rosabella, you will forfeit the Obligation which is no lesse then a thousand Crowns. What say you now, there is but one Law, and but one King, you will find no mediety of language to defend you. What say you?

He thinks all things are transacted here as in the Courts of England, but if you bring me this day the six hundred Crowns I will not alter my resolution.

Ignor.

You do well; it is agreed already, and condiscended to; therefore if possibly I can, I will come my self in my own person this day with the mony; if I cannot, I will send one of my Clerks unto you with it.

Torc.

But I know none of your Clerks.

Ignor.

And none of my Clerks know you, Sed est totum unum pro eo, It is all one for that; He shall bring you the six hundred Crowns, and the Instruments, And I will tell him that the better to know you, you have a crooked neck; Do you fear any thing?

Torc.

Yes, I fear Antonio, and the most cunning Trico, who everywhere lie in wait to take Rosabella from me, I cannot take heed enough, and be so wary of them as I should be when I am most heedful; It is safest therefore to agree upon some private to∣ken; for to add a Caution unto a Caution is to be doubly cautious.

Ignor.

Although it be needlesse, yet if my Clerk Dullman shall come unto you from me, he shall give you this private token. He shall take you thus by the Nose.

Torc.

Content; Be it so with all my heart, And take heed that you tell no man of it.

Ignor.

What? Do you take me to be an Ideot?

Torc.

You shall therefore this day have her; she is my Cousin, and, by all that's chast, a Virgin.

Igno.

Ovy dea, Ovy dea; Too morrow I will return to Lon∣don with her, but I pray you call her hither a little, that I may have a sight of her; for hoc est longum & breve, It is the long and the short of it, I do lov•• her: Do you enjoin her therefore that she return unto me the love of avoir dupois, weight for weight, Do you understand me?

Torc.

Ile bring her to you presently.

Exit Torcol.

Igno.

I was never so enamoured before in all my life, I am now bestialiter inamoratus most beastly inamoured: But Torcol pre∣sently will bring unto me Corpus cum Cauda, cum Causa I would say. Oh that I had one Habeas Corpus now, Ha, he. Whiles I do think on't I do tread on thorns.

The Fifth SCENE of the First ACT.

The Argument. Rosabella is brought in weeping, her Vncle in∣forceth her to love Ignoramus, who courts her what he can with Verses, and fair Words, and relates unto her what a Jointure he will give her. Rosabella is committed to the Charge of a Female Dwarf called Surda; who, being extremely deaf, under∣stands all things by nature: Ignoramus goes for the six hundred Crowns; Surda continueth with Rosabella.

Enter Torcol, Rosabella, Ignoramus, Surda.

TOrc.

Why do you weep so? you stubborn Minion: Have I brought you up so virtuously & so carefully that you should be so disobedient to me, and stand in your own light as much as in mine: Either be well content to marry him, or per aquesta cruz de Dios I will carry you back to F••ss, where I will either sell you, or prostitute you: I wish you well; what will you have him? Speak.

Rosab.

Uncle you are wise: what seemeth good unto you shall be as agreeable unto me.

Torc.

Why, now you speak well, and as it becometh you:

Rosab.

I must dissemble my love I see, for fear it be worse with me: my dear Antony shall I never—

Torc.

I have placed this little Dwarf Surda to be as a Spy over her, who although she hath been deaf these three Months, yet she is faithful, and understands by signes very exactly.

He makes signes to her.

Surda.

I understand you well, that I should have a diligent eye over her, and suffer her not to go far abroad.

Torc.

'Tis right.

Surda.

And that I permit not any young man to speak unto her.

Torc.

Very well.

Surd.

Assoon as Ignoramus hath done speaking with her, that she presently goe in again.

Torc.

I, with all speed, otherwise I will whip thee unto Death.

Surd.

What you command shall be performed.

Enter Ignoramus.

Torc.

Seignior, my Cosin here doth love you above all crea∣tures in the world; make trial of her: I have some businesse that calls me hence, but remember the sign and the mony.

Ignor.

There shall be no default.

Torc.

Surda be careful of what I told you.

Surd.

I will not fail in it.

Ignor.

He, ha, he, my Rosabella, hem, hem, hem: Madam and you my Masters of the Jury, This is an Action on the Case. Fy, Fy, my tongue repeats my old accustomed words; I think I am plea∣ding with her now.

Surd.

As far as I can see he's but a Fool.

Ignor.

Madame, pardon me, I was never in love before: But to come to the point, shall we joyn issue Madame, will you marry me?

Rosab.

I am not worthy of that honour.

Ignor.

Truly I do love you better Rosabella then I love Rosa solis, I will tell you what; your love hath made me a legi∣timate Poet, will you accept of some Verses I have made?

Igno.

Hem, hem, legal Verses on Rosabella; hem, hem, Si possem vellem pour te Rosa ponere p••llem, Quicquid tu vis crava, & habebis singula brava; Et dabo Fee simple si monstres Loves prety dimple, Farthingalos, Biggos, stomacheros, & periwigg••s, Pantaflos, Cussos, Garteros, Spanica Ruffos, Buskos, & Soccos, Tif••nas, & Cambrica Smockos, Pimpillos, Pursos, ad ludos ibis & Vrsos.

Anglicè, Beargarden.

Are not these good in law?

Ros.

Excellent.

Igno.

Thou shalt go to Playes, to the Bulls, and to the Bears; Thou shalt doe what thou wilt, my Girl, only keep thy Court shut unto others; Here take these Verses, est Billa vera.

Rosa.

I will keep them in my Brest.

Igno.

Dost thou love me?

Rosa.

Who can choose but love you?

Igno.

Sayst thou so? I will make thee a good Jointure, faciam ut ames me plus & plus, I will make thee love me more and more. Hear what a Jointure I will make thee, and for the better credit of it, it shall run in Latine my Girl: Mark it; Ego Ambidexter Ignoramus infeosso te uxor••m meam Rosabel∣lam in Taile speciall de situ Manerii de Tongwell cum capitali Mes∣suagio; Et d•• tibi omnia & singula messuagia, Toftos, Croftos, Cottagia, & Columbaria, Molendia, Fulloni••a, Aquatica, Venatica, Gardin••s, Tenementa, Boschos, Suboschos. Jumpnos, Brueros, Moros, moriscos salsos, moriscos frescos, Juncaria, Turbaria, Alneta, Mos∣cheta, communiam pasture, liberam warrenam, piscariam, faldam, & Dec••mas herbarum, bladorum, granorum, agnellorum, faeni, lini, Cana••is, & Tellonium▪ Stallagium, pontagium, picagium, esc••eta Catalla Felonum, aviata extra Hara••, wreck maris,

Anglicè, Sea-wracks.

Ros.

O 'tis too much.

Igno.

Stay dum capio anhelitum, till I take breath, and I will give thee ten times as much.

Ros.

He makes me smile although my heart doth weep.

Surd.

Is the man in his right wits? he is more pratling then a Chandlers Mag-pie or a Parrot.

Igno.

Give me your love now; Quid pro quo is fair play.

Rosa.

You demand what is but right.

Igno.

Give me a kisse then, prethee doe.

Rosa.

What shall I do? O my fine sweet-heart, and my Uncles foul Avarice.

Igno.

I read fair lines in your face.

He offers to kisse her.

Surd.

Away, away!

Igno.

I have a quare impodit for you Surda, I will seal and deliver a kisse unto you Rosabella.

Surd.

Skat, ah.

Igno.

Adieu (my dear Rosabella) till by and by. Hoc oscu∣lum mihi facit bonum apud cor, This kisse doth me good to the heart; I could fly on the wings of the wind: But I will be crafty enough for Torcol; for when I come into England, I will marry a rich wife, and then I will keep this, only in commendo, for a Tran∣si-tempus.

Surd.

I perceive you love him.

Rosa.

I love Death better.

Exit. Ignor.

Surd.

You do well to love him, he will give you—

Rosa.

The POX.

Surd.

And do you love that Man Antonio?

Rosa.

As I love my own life.

Surd.

You seem to hate him, you doe well in't; Beshrew my Masters jealousies who so unjustly doth suspect you.

Rosa.

How much am I tormented that Antonio doth not love me? that he makes not so much as any show of love unto me al∣though it were but meer Dissimulation; But I for my part must play the counterfeit, that so being free from all eyes of suspition, I may then more opportunely fly unto him, ••hen I am to be led a wretched Bride to Ignoramus Bed. I heard that Antonio was on this day to set sayls for London; How perfidious would he prove if he should forsake me now: He hath given me his Troth, if he leaves me now I am undone.

Surd.

If you marry Ignoramus you shall flow in wealth.

The sixth SCENE of the first ACT.

The Argument. Trico the crafty servant of Antonio, doth in∣struct him by what Arts he may deceive Surda, and have a Con∣ference at the same time with Rosabella, by speaking what they pleased, but in such angry and discontented Gestures that Surda observing it, should not suspect any thing of love betwixt them; In the mean time Trico himself doth pretend love to Surda, and showing her a Ring doth grow upon her credulity, that he cour∣teth her in way of Marriage.

Antonio, Trico, Rosabella, Surda.

TRic.

Sir, Ile warrant you, Take care for something else; I will not fail in this service to you.

Anto.

My Hope is all in thee Trico.

Tri.

This day with deceits I will overcome Deceit it self: But whom see I yonder? Master wipe your eyes!

Enter Rosabella.

Anto.

My dear Rosabella! How happy a man am I? And how opportunely now I encounter you, if that old bitch would give me leave but to speak unto you.

Tric.

Fear not Master; she hath no teeth, she may bark, but cannot bite.

Anto.

But she may give her Master notice of us by her barking.

Tric.

I will give her a Sop for that, by pretending love unto her; she is always puppying: In the mean time you may hold con∣ference with Rosabella, but let your gestures expresse much discon∣tent and choler, that so she believing you to be at great variance, may permit you to talk more freely.

Anto.

You say well.

Tri.

Save you Lady!

Surd.

Touch me not! what do you mean? Forbear your sawcy hands!

Tri.

So angry Lady!

Surd.

You hurt my hand! Be gone, and be hanged.

Tri.

Rosabella threatneth Antonio; I like it well.

Surd.

this Fool loves me: He shewes me a Ring too: I will

not marry, no not I.

She folds her Arms.

Tri.

O the sad Fate of Lovers!

Surd.

He sighes, poor Fool—I appear beautiful, and thats the reason I am beloved: I am not so old, as some do take me for.

Tri.

O the Fate of Lovers!

Surd.

How thick he draws his breath! poor man, I pity him.

Tri.

O lips of milk, nose of purple, eyes of a sheep, thigh of an Emmet, feet of a Calf, Hands of a Mole, Brest of a Grashopper, pap of all paps, oh neighing Mare, O gruntling sow! Harrow the Flames that me consume!

Surd.

He is now praising my Beauty; I apprehend him, I am handsome enough, I thank my stars for it.

Tri.

Oh most diminitive of all perfections, deaf and thick, and hopper-ars'd, old, and hairy, drunken, and apish. Oh my heart, my heart.

Surd.

He is struck into admiration with my Beauties; Oh that I were not deaf that I might hear my own prayses: I hope they will call me Dwarf no more.

Tri.

O the pangs of Love!

Sur.

Alas, Alas he weeps, I am compassionate; He is ready to swoon away, Revive thy self my servant, I do love thee, I doe.

Ant.

Pretend to be passionately angry with me!

Sur.

I tell thee I do love thee, take heart of grace, Oh my dear friend and servant, I will not suf••er any to die for love of me, Charity forbids it.

Tri.

You are mine then for ever; I hardly am able to forbear from laughter, Ha, ha, he: O my heart, my heart.

Surd.

Fear not, I do love thee; wo is me, I must be gone, yonder's Antonio high in discourse, of whom my Master charged me to beware: well done Rosabella, you seem to be angry, and incensed against him, Chide him, Chide him, doe!

Rosab.

But in earnest I now must chide you Antonio, Have you no remorse to leave me here in all my sorrows, and by going to London to destroy me? Do you now retract from all you have done and spoken, and leave your protestations to the winds and clouds to be dispersed in the Air and lost? Are you so forgetful of them! But Heaven and Faith will remember them, wo is me, what trust is there in Men that are composed only of Cruelty and per∣fidiousnesse. Oh.

Surd.

See how he beats his brest; I cannot blame him; monster of impudence!

Tric.

Oh my dear love!

Surd.

Oh my love, I am undone, I am fallen in love just like a wasp into a pot of Honey.

Anto.

I gave you my faith Rosabella, and striking thus your hand, I now again confirm it.

Surd.

How inhumanely he struck that young Lady! were I a man, I would fly in the very eyes of him: But in true Love there is no Danger; we are more happy, we —

Tric.

She sighes just like a Sow that hath lost her first litter of Pigs; Oh my dear heart—!

Surd.

My sweet Love—!

Anto.

Pardon me my life, My Father commandeth me to be gone, neither prayers, nor tears can prevail upon him, I take Faith her self to witnesse, I go unwilling from you.

Rosa.

Unwilling! Love cannot be compelled; but by degrees it may languish into nothing. You do not love me.

Anto.

If I love you not most—

Rosa.

No more! I do believe you.

Surd.

Woe is me; Love like a hot pot doth boil and bubble in my Brest.

Tric.

She is mine.

Surd.

He noddeth and winketh, How prettily he noddeth and winketh; I will nod and wink on him also.

Rosa.

But why do you not take me, from this impure place; Fie upon't.

Surd.

Spit on him.

Rosa.

I live here under the Command of a wicked Uncle who hath lost his honesty with his estate. O beast! why shall I call him a man, who hath nothing of Humanity in him? O my Fa∣thers Manes to whom did you intrust me: but though you would be gone Antonio, I will tread in your steps, and follow after you: If I may not live chastly, I will die chastly.

Anto.

O virtuous manners and resolutions; my heart with grief doth cleave asunder.

Surd.

She hath touched him home, he beats his brest, and tears his hair, O shamelesse Man!

Tric.

O the Fire and smart of Love!

Surd.

Do not sigh so! Dear sweet heart; Just like an Italian Lover, in glancing eyes he showes his wounded heart: It showes handsome in him, I will return the like unto him.

Rosa.

Had you but satisfied my Fathers avarice with six hun∣dred Crown••, I had not now been miserable.

Anto.

I protest most solemnly unto you, I could no where pro∣vide it; my Friends would not trust me, my Father was inexora∣ble; what should I doe?

Rosa.

I know not; but this I am certain of, that my Uncle by writings hath contracted with Ignoramus for me, who hath pro∣mised this day either to bring the Mony himself, or to send it by his servant with a secret token which they have agreed upon be∣twixt themselves.

Tric.

What is this I hear! Do you know what the token is?

Rosa.

That is concealed from me, but here are his dainty Verses.

Tric.

I shall peradventure extract something out of them.

Surd.

She hath rejected his Letters: That is well; His eyes are red with choler, he stamps on the ground, he is mad I think —O my dear Love Trico I mark you for all that.

Ant.

Who can see this? who is able to endure it?

Tric.

Be of good Courage, I will so far prevail, that you shall not go to sea to day, nor lose your Love Rosabella.

Ant.

O that it so may come to passe.

Tric.

Trust to this head, this day it will doe wonders.

Surd.

Strike not your head so hard! I do love you, indeed I love you, I was afraid, lest he would have gone neer to have swound away again.

Tri.

My little tender piece of old, and tough mortality, I am not able to forbear laughing at you outright.

He Laugheth.

Surd.

Ha, ha, he: And I cannot chuse but laugh too.

Tric.

She neigheth I think: But you! it is now high Time. Be gone both of you. This Creature is my own—

Anto.

You say well, Let us go.

Rosa.

But she will cry out—

Tric.

Fool not your selves, but put that to the triall.

Sur.

What do you give me a Ring too? marry I thank you for it:

Now I am yours; do you wear this handkercher for me.

Tri.

What do you mean that you are not gone?—will you marry me presently?

Surda.

Give me your right hand, and good luck with it.

Tri.

To be well ridd of you.

Sur.

Let us seal it with a kisse.

Tri.

O sweet kisse! it makes my mouth to water.

Sur.

Eh, Eh, I have got a sluttish Cough of late, Eh, Eh.

O Rottennesse—why do you stay there still? be gone I pray— you will loose the opportunity.

Anto.

Come! let us go! O joy incomparable.

Trico.

Snailes as you are, you have your selves undone.

The seventh SCENE of the first ACT.

The Argument. Torcal intervening disturbeth all things, Surda is beaten and Rosabella carryed away.

Torcol, Antonio, Trico, Rosabella, Surda.

Tor.

RUn after them, come back you Fugitive baggage, come back. Help me?

Rosab.

I am undone.

Surda.

Why do you beat me so?

Tor.

Keep off Antonio? Oh excellent Guardian, he beats her Surda! who shall keep the Keeper? O thou Witch thou!

Sur.

Beat not me so, I am not to be beaten by you, I am to be Married anon.

Tor.

In the mean time you shall be married to this Cudgel.

Sur.

What do you mean to use me so? I tell you again I am to be married this day, whither you will, or not; upon my troth I am. Nay, I am even as good as married already; look on this Ring else.

Tor.

A Ring—Oh the tricks of Trico, but I shall —

Sur.

St! Husband help me? do you hear?

Tor:

Get you in—yee paire of strumpets; do you bind them fast in bond••, and keep them safe till I re••urn.

Rosab.

Kill me rather.

Surd.

St, St, Trico, Do you so forsake your wife? woe is me.

Ant.

With what confidence dare you vile Torcol?

Tor.

Circle me round you Serjeants,

Exeunt Rosabella, Surda, and one of the Serjeants.

And guard me safe from dangers.

Ant.

Drag hence my dearest love, I looking on—

Torc.

Pray Sir Depart▪ And mind your own businesse, as I will mine, I have nothing to say unto you.

Tric.

Hang-man—

Torc.

O you are to marry my deaf Dwarfe, I shall beware of your tricks Tricol.

Tric.

I may peradventure be too hard for you anon for all this.

Torc.

He who threatneth his Enemy doth give him a sword to out his own throat.

Tric.

Come hither?

Torc.

Stand further off, and speak there, if you have any thing to say.

Tric.

No, I will speake it softly in your Ear, Torcol you are a vile pan-dare.

Torc.

A stranger must gently alwayes put up all injuries; Seig∣nior Antonio, I would not hold any difference with you: I have many other delicate beauties under my tuition; you may make choice of which you will of them to be your wife.

Ant.

I am much beholding to you

Torc.

Seignior, A la buena ventura.

Ant.

Forbear your Portugall-Flateries?

Torc.

Servidor, signior, queda con Dios.

Exeunt Torcol, and Serj••ants.

Anto.

Go and be hang'd!

Tric.

This day I have very warily observed him.

Anto.

O Trico!

Tric.

Have you but a good courage, and leave the Event to Fortune and my Brain.

Ant.

I must be gone, my Father expecteth me.

Tric.

Go then! I will be ready to observe all opportunities; for cau••elous I must be that my Master Theodore see me not talking with you: He begins to suspect me already; look where he comes; I am gone, I am gone.

The Eight SCENE of the First ACT.

The ARGUMENT:

Theodore the Father calleth miserable Antonio a Ship-board, and sendeth Trico to his Country House.

Theodorus, Antonio, Trico, Bannacar, and a Marriner.

Theo.

YOu—Trico, Trico, whither are you going, I see you well enough, Do not hide your self. Is it he, or rather a painted sign in the wall? It moweth not, I will draw neer: O Villain! what a face he makes! but look on him.

Tric.

Truly Master, I was almost quite besides my self, so de∣voutly I prayed to Almighty God to prosper your sons voyage by Sea.

He brusheth and takes the li••t from his Masters cloaths.

Theo.

You are very pious!

Tric.

I am not usually so, I tell you the truth Master.

Theo.

You take the dust from my cloaths, but cannot brush a∣way the dusts of suspition which cover my doubtful mind? you corrupt my son, sirrah.

Tric.

Who I Master!

Theo.

What excuse can you make to help your self, if I do think so?

Tric.

Truly Master being so honest to you as I am, you would make me doe that—

Theo.

That! what?

Tric.

That—

Theo.

Speak out!

Tric.

That at last I become stark naught, and as naughtily de∣ceive you.

Theo.

I apprehend you; Get you therefore to my Countrey House, and work there, but be sure you return before the Eve∣ning.

Tric.

Will you command me no other service?

Theo.

Bring my Tenant in the Evening along with you, I will

make even some odd Accounts betwixt us.

Tric.

I will acquaint him with it. Is that all Sir?

Theo.

Let us go now to the Ship Antonio; wher's Bannacar to bring the Trunks and Portmantles after us.

Banna.

Here Sir!

Theo.

These Letters to Dorothaea, these to Antonine, these to his wife Katharine; remember my love to them, and to all my friends.

Anto.

It shall be done. Father farewell.

Tri.

Chearfully spoken; I like it well.

Theo.

I will see thee on ship-board my son; see here one of the Sea-men!

Marrin.

By my faith and troth La, why what do you mak ac∣count to do my Masters? The wind and the ship stayes for you.

Theo.

We are going.

Anto.

But I unto my Death unlesse Trico—

Tric.

St, Fear not.