The second book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick treating of the heroick deeds and sayings of the good Pantagruel. Written originally in the French tongue, and now faithfully translated into English. By S.T.U.C.

CHAP. XXIX. How Pantagruel discomfited the three hundred Giants armed with free stone, and Loup∣garou their Captain.

THe Giants seeing all their Camp drown∣ed, carried away their King Anarchus upon their backs, as well as they could out of the Fort, as Aeneas did to his father An∣chises, in the time of the conflagration of Troy. When Panurge perceived them, he said to Pantagruel, Sir, yonder are the Giants co∣ming forth against you, lay on them with your mast gallantly like an old Fencer; for now is the time that you must shew your self a brave man and an honest. And for our part we will not faile you: I my self willl kill to you a good many boldly enough; for why, David killed Goliah very easily; and then, this great Lecher Eusthenes, who is stronger then foure oxen, will not spare him∣self. Be of good courage therefore, and va∣liant, charge amongst them with point and edge, and by all manner of meanes. Well▪

(said Pantagruel,) of courage I have more then for fifty francks, but let us be wise, for Hercules first never undertook against two; that is well cack'd, well scummered, (said Pa∣nurge) do you compare your self with Hercu∣les? You have by G—more strength in your teeth, and more sent in your bum, then ever Hercules had in all his body and soule: so much is a man worth as he esteems himself. Whilest they spake those words behold, Lougarou was come with all his Giants, who seeing Panta∣gruel in a manner alone, was carried away with temerity and presumption, for hopes that he had to kill the good man; whereupon he said to his companions the Giants, You Wenchers of the low countrey, by Mahoom, if any of you undertake to fight against these men here, I will put you cruelly to death: it is my will that you let me fight single, in the mean time you shall have good sport to look upon us: then all the other Giants retired with their King, to the place where the flag∣gons stood, and Panurge and his Camerades with them, who counterfeited those that have had the pox, for he wreathed about his mouth, shrunk up his fingers, and with a harsh and hoarse voice said unto them, I forsake—od (fellow souldiers) if I would have it to be be∣leeved, that we make any warre at all; Give us somewhat to eat with you, whilest our Masters fight against one another; to this the

King and Giants joyntly condescended, and accordingly made them to banquet with them. In the mean time Panurge told them the follies of Turpin, the examples of St. Ni∣cholas, and the tale of a tub. Loupgarou then set forward towards Pantagruel, with a mace all of steel, and that of the best sort, weighing nine thousand seven hundred kin∣tals, and two quarterons, at the end whereof were thirteen pointed diamonds, the least whereof was as big as the greatest bell of our Ladies Church at Paris, (there might want perhaps the thicknesse of a naile, or (at most that I may not lie) of the back of those knives which they call cut-lugs or eare-cut∣ters, but for a little off or on, more or lesse, it is no matter) and it was inchanted in such sort, that it could never break, but contrarily all that it did touch, did break immediately. Thus then as he approached with great fierce∣nesse and pride of heart: Pantagruel, casting up his eyes to heaven, recommended himself to God with all his soule, making such a Vow as followeth.

O thou Lord God, who hast alwayes been my Protectour, and my Saviour, thou seest the distresse wherein I am at this time: no∣thing brings me hither but a natural zeale, which thou hast permitted unto mortals, to keep and defend themselves, their wives and children, countrey and family, in case thy

own proper cause were not in question, which is the faith; for in such a businesse thou wilt have no Coadjutors, only a Catholick Con∣fession and service of thy Word, and hast forbidden us all arming and defence; for thou art the Almighty, who in thine owne cause, and where thine own businesse is taken to heart, canst defend it far beyond all that we can conceive, thou who hast thousand thousands of hundreds of millions of legi∣gions of Angels, the least of which is able to kill all mortal men, and turn about the Hea∣vens and earth at his pleasure, as heretofore it very plainly appeared in the army of Sen∣nacherib, if it may please thee therefore at this time to assist me, as my whole trust and confi∣dence is in thee alone: I vow unto thee, that in all Countreys whatsoever, wherein I shall have any power or authority, whether in this of Utopia, or elsewhere, I will cause thy ho∣ly Gospel to be purely, simply and entirely preached, so that the abuses of a rabble of hy∣pocrites and false prophets, who by humane constitutions, and depraved inventions, have impoisoned all the world, shall be quite exter∣minated from about me. This Vow was no sooner made, but there was heard a voice from heaven, saying, Hoc fac, & vinces: that is to say, Do this, and thou shalt over∣come.

Then Pantagruel, seeing that Loupgarou

with his mouth wide open was drawing near to him, went against him boldly, and cried out as loud as he was able, Thou diest, vil∣lain, thou diest, purposing by his horrible cry to make him afraid, according to the dis∣cipline of the Lacedemonians. Withal, he im∣mediately cast at him out of his bark which he wore at his girdle, eighteen cags, and foure bushels of salt, wherewith he filled both his mouth, throat, nose and eyes: at this Loup∣garou was so highly incensed, that most fiercely setting upon him, he thought even then with a blow of his mace to have beat out his braines: but Pantagruel was very nimble, and had alwayes a quick foot, and a quick eye, and therefore with his left foot did he step back one pace, yet not so nimbly, but that the blow falling upon the bark, broke it in foure thousand, fourescore and six pieces, and threw all the rest of the salt about the ground: Pantagruel seeing that, most gal∣lantly displayed the vigour of his armes, and according to the Art of the axe, gave him with the great end of his mast a homethrust a little above the breast: then bringing along the blow to the left side, with a slash struck him between the neck and shoulders: After that, advancing his right foot, he gave him a push upon the couillons, with the upper end of his said mast, wherewith breaking the scuttle, on the top thereof he spilt three or

foure punchons of wine that were left therein.

Upon that Loupgarou thought that he had pierced his bladder, and that the wine that came forth had been his urine: Pantagruel being not content with this, would have doubled it by a side-blow; but Loupgarou lift∣ing up his mace, advanced one step upon him, and with all his force would have dash't it upon Pantagruel, wherein (to speak the truth) he so sprightfully carried himself, that if God had not succoured the good Panta∣gruel, he had been cloven from the top of his head to the bottom of his milt, but the blow glanced to the right side, by the brisk nimblenesse of Pantagruel, and his mace sank into the ground above threescore and thirteen foot, through a huge rock, out of which the fire did issue greater then nine thousand and six tuns. Pantagruel seeing him busie about plucking out his mace, which stuck in the ground between the rocks, ran upon him, and would have clean cut off his head, if by mischance his mast had not touch∣ed a little against the stock of Loupgarous mace, which was inchanted, as we have said before: by this meanes his mast broke off about three handfuls above his hand, where∣at he stood amazed like a Bell-Founder, and cried out, Ah Panurge, where art thou? Pa∣nurge seeing that, said to the King and the

Giants, By G—they will hurt one another, if they be not parted; but the Giants were as merry as if they had been at a wedding: then Carpalin would have risen from thence to help his Master; but one of the Giants said un∣to him, By Golfarin the Nephew of Mahoon, if thou stir hence I will put thee in the bot∣tom of my breeches, in stead of a Supposi∣tory, which cannot chuse but do me good; for in my belly I am very costive, and can∣not well cagar, without gnashing my teeth, and making many filthy faces. Then Panta∣gruel, thus destitute of a staffe, took up the end of his mast, striking athwart and alongst upon the Giant, but he did him no more hurt then you would do with a filip upon a Smiths Anvil. In the time Loupgarou was drawing his mace out of the ground, and ha∣ving already plucked it out, was ready there∣with to have struck Pantagruel, who being ve∣ry quick in turning, avoided all his blowes, in taking only the defensive part in hand, un∣til on a sudden he saw that Loupgarou did threaten him with these words, saying, Now, viliain, will not I faile to chop thee as small as minced meat, and keep thee henceforth from ever making any more poor men athirst; for then without any more ado, Pantagruel struck him such a blow with his foot against the bel∣ly, that he made him fall backwards, his heels over his head, and dragged him thus along at

flay-buttock above a flight-shot. Then Loupgarou cried out, bleeding at the throat, Mahoon, Mahoon, Mahoon, at which noise all the Giants arose to succour him: but Panurge said unto them, Gentlemen, do not go, if you will beleeve me, for our Master is mad, and strikes athwart and alongst, he cares not where, he will do you a mischief; but the Gi∣ants made no account of it, seeing that Panta∣gruel had never a staffe.

And when Pantagruel saw those Giants ap∣proach very near unto him, he took Loupga∣rou by the two feet, and lift up his body like a pike in the aire, wherewith (it being harnish∣ed with Anvils) he laid such heavy load a∣mongst those Giants, armed with free stone, that striking them down as a Mason doth little knobs of stones, there was not one of them that stood before him, whom he threw not flat to the ground, and by the breaking of this stony armour there was made such a hor∣rible rumble, as put me in minde of the fall of the butter-tower of St. Stephens at Bourge, when it melted before the Sunne. Panurge, with Carpalin and Eusthenes, did cut in the mean time the throats of those that were struck down; in such sort that there escaped not one. Pantagruel to any mans sight was like a Mower, who with his sithe (which was Loupgarou,) cut down the meddow grasse (to wit the Giants,) but with this fencing of Pan∣tagruels,

Loupgarou lost his head, which hap∣pened when Pantagruel struck down one whose name was Ri••tandouille or pudding∣plunderer, who was armed cap-a-pe with grison stones, one chip whereof splintring abroad cut off Epistemons neck clean and faire: for otherwise the most part of them were but lightly armed with a kinde of sandie brittle stone, and the rest with slaits: at last when he saw that they were all dead, he threw the body of Loupgarou, as hard as he could a∣gainst the City, where falling like a frog up∣on his belly, in the great piazza thereof, he with the said fall killed a singed he-cat, a wet she-cat, a farting duck, and a brideled goose.