The Cornish comedy as it is acted at the Theatre-Royal in Dorset-Garden by His Majesty's servants.

SCENE II. Gripe's House.

Enter Shuffle speaking.

Shuffle.

Wait there for the Sign—Now for Impudence and a good Me∣mory, that I be not found in a Lye.

Enter Gripe.

He comes—Pray, Sir, are you Mr. Gripe the rich Merchant?

Gr.

What would you Friend?—My name is Gripe.

Shuffle.

I have a Letter for you requires haste.

[Delivers a Letter.

Gr.

'Tis Spalding's Hand.

Shufflle.

It works, his colour comes and goes—Hist! Hist!

[The Sign given, the four Bayliffs cross the Stage.

Gr.

You come from Stephen Spalding.

Shuffle.

I did so; and for better dispatch, I have travelled all this night on my bare Feet, I am all over like toasted Cheese.

Gr.

But you needed not to have made so much haste, Bad News flies fast enough of it self.

Shuffle.

Captain Spalding told me it requir'd extraordinary speed, and would not suffer me to stay so long as to put on my best Clathers.

Gr.

He always was a trusty Servant—But is the Work so poor as he Writes?

Shuffle.

I know not what he Writes, but I'm certain he'll be forced to strike it in the Head with speed.

Gr.

So he Writes me—What store of work have you at Hill? and what at Mill?

Shuffle.

What can I tell—Who thought of this damn'd Question?

[Aside.

Gr.

He Writ me lately he had a great quantity at each place.

Shuf.

There is so; but we are forc'd to put most of our men to Spalding, and to Buddles.

Gr.

What store of Tails, Casualties, and Afterwashes have ye?

Shuf.

Heap enough, but how 'twill yield as yet I know not; we imploy all the Stamps and Buddles about the Head-Tinn, we shall have time enough to work the leavings.

Gr.

How do you proceed at the Blowing-house?

Shuf.

A Plague of these Questions.

[Aside.]

We have Tinn there, Sir, and good, as much as it is, tho' it don't yield as well as formerly.

Gr.

Ha! your Reason for that.

Shuffle.

I suppose when things begin to decay they are not so full of Met∣tle: I have no other Reason, Sir.

Gripe.

'Tis a sad Truth, I know it by woful experience—How far di∣stant is this rich Mine from ours? can't you sink a Shaft on the edge of our Bounds, and drive under them? I'd venture my life to have a share in it: May not their Load incline towards us? It does not run North and South? Mine lies due West as I take it?

Shuf.

Exactly, Sir, North and South; I went down into their Work, measured with the Compass, and the Load runs exactly with the Ely.

Gr.

And so wondrous rich!

Shuf.

They suffered me to break a Stone my self, of part I made a Van, and 'twas all perfect Tinn—I think I have a piece in my Pocket—

[Gives a Stone.

If he know it, I'm undone, Sharper stole it out of his Parlour Window.

[Aside.

Gr.

Never stir! 'tis very like mine.

Shuf.

But richer: One of the Eastern Tryers whispered me, that all the dizzo was excellent Copper, and that he would give a 1000 l. for what is in sight.

Gr.

Bless me! and ours worth nothing?

Shuf.

Not one Dram of Mettle left in all your bottoms.

Gr.

Undone, undone! inevitably ruined!—I shall want Bread.

Shuf.

Content your self, you have enough, and supposing the worst, you may buy up as much Black-Tinn as you please, and that commonly turns to a good Accompt at the Coinage.

Gr.

Twenty per Cent. for 3 Months; A Man can't live by it.

Shuf.

Captain Spalding sent me Express, that you might endeavour to get a Dole, or Set, before Mr. Manley's intelligence comes from Captain Buddle.

Gr.

Which shall be done (if possible)—Who comes here—

[Enter Starter pulling Sharp.]

What rudeness is this in my House.

1 Bayl.

Rudeness, I come with a Posse Comitatis in my Pocket.

Gr.

Who do you look for?

〈◊〉〈◊〉 Bayl.

One Squire Swash; I have a Priviledge Warrant again him.

Gr.

Then you are mistaken, this is one Mr. Sharper—Now will I take this opportunity to Cashier Swash, and Marry her to Manley at last;

He is a very honest Gentleman, that's the truth on't, and I think it is a just Judgment for designing to cheat him of her; but I'll amend all.

Enter Squeeze, Spunge, and Thorowstitch, pulling in Swash.

3 Bail.

Along with him, roage him along, he shall to prison immediately,

1 Bail.

Be more merciful to him, he will answer the Law quietly, Squire I will be your Guard.

Swa.

'Tis a very hard Law if it give you Liberty to tear the Flesh from the Bones.

Shar.

Pray Gentlemen let us discourse the matter fairly, At whose suit do you Arrest my Master.

3 Bai.

Sir Patrick Greedy, 'tis an Action of Scandalum Magnatum for a Thousand Pound Debt.

4 Bai.

And there's a Mandamus, a Capias, and Habeas Corpus in the War∣rant, and Law enough to carry him to the other end of the King's Bench-Rules.

Swa.

Indeed, Gentlemen, I don't owe that Knight one Farthing.

1 Bai.

Then it will be the better for you, Sir,—You may try it, and the Jury may acquit you, so you have your remedy; but as the case stands, you must give us good Bail in 2000 l. as the Law requires, or go to Prison. I am heartily sorry for your condition, and wish it lay in my power to do you any service, but the Law is such we can't help it.

Shar.

We'll give you Bail as the Law requires, this day he is to Marry Mr. Gripe's Daughter, I suppose the Father and Son will be his Bail.

1 Ba.

We'l take 'em.

Gr. Pray,

Mr. Sharper, mind your own business, and trouble not your head about other People, I nor my Son don't intend to be Ingaged for any Man; we that take Bonds don't use to enter into them—a timely discovery, I had been finely chous'd had he Married my Daughter.

[Aside.

Swa.

Pray, Gentlemen, let me go, within a little time I shall be going to Church to be Married, let me have one night's Lodging, to morrow I'll surrender my self; 'twould make a man mad to lose all between the Cup and the Lip.

Gr.

Trouble not your self for that, Sir,—I shall provide another Husband for my Daughter, my Money shall never go to pay Debts.

1 Bai.

Away with him, What stand we here for? If you have any Gen∣tleman to send for, we'l' stay a while at Nich Froths; 'tis pity such a fine Gentleman should be in trouble, but 'tis no fault of ours.

Swa.

Carry me where you will, I am careless how the world goes,—Sharper, Why dost weep?

Sharper.

To see so good a Master so inhumanly used, 'twill break my heart to see you in Prison; never had good Gentleman such bad fortune.

[Sharper weeps.

Swa.

Prithe don't weep, thou makes me melancholy to see thee—poor fellow! he loves me dearly.

[Aside.

Shar.

I'll never leave you whilst I have Life or Limb.

[Exit with Swash and Bailiffs.

Shuff.

Have you any service to command me to Captain Spalding?

Gr.

These accidents have so disordered me, I know not what to resolve on—step in and call my Daughter hither—but here she comes with her Brother.

Enter Peregrine and Clarinda dressed like a Bride.

Thou art early trimn•…•…d for Wedlock my Clarinda; how Gay! a Match is no 〈◊〉〈◊〉 agreed on, and the Wedding appointed, but the Woman is so taken up with the thoughts of the time to come, that she never resteth till her fancy be fulfill'd.

Cla.

My Father talking thus to himself! I doubt he is not well.

Gr.

I vow I am very wantonly inclin'd this morning, and feel a tickling in my Veins like a Boy of Twenty,—Hey! sound and hearty yet! oh! for a sprightly Young Girl to comfort my Old Spirits, I would give her a broad side, and launch into the deep—Ha! (never stir)! that word hath put me in mind of my Tinnwork again, now on a sudden am I be∣come as cold and as dull as a Bridegroom after the first week,—there∣fore exit Love, and enter Business.—You Fellow withdraw, I would have some private Conference with my Son and Daughter.

[Exit Shuff.

Per.

Are you not well, dear Father? You seem much discomposed.

Gr.

So would'st thou, had'st thou a Daughter to dispose of; she must be Married—and she must not be Married—she shall be Married, and she shall not be Married—I don't know what to do with her.

Per.

So unsettl'd and unresolv'd, you would make me think you were in a frenzy.

Gr.

Yes, fellows of your Age always think their Fathers Mad till they are Buried.

Per.

Pray, Sir, let me know the disquiets of your mind.

Gr.

Wilt thou assist me?

Per.

Sir, to the hazard of my Life, I will.

Gr.

I know not how to bestow thy Sister.

Per.

Is she not this day to be Married to the Squire Swash? You told her so last evening.

Cla.

My Passion, Sir, submitting to my Duty, I am all Obedience to your positive Commands.

Gr.

Good! if a man promise these wanton Rogues a Husband, they'll be sure to call him to an account for a strict performance—

[Aside].

Man∣ley, at last, must Marry thee, Clarinda.

Cla.

Then you abuse the Noble Squire.

Gr.

She pleads for him—I was to blame to raise her expectation; if they have sealed the Bargain by an Ante nuptial Fornication, I have finely studied the Politicks,—

[Aside].

—Swash is carried away to Pri∣son by Four Bailiffs, therefore he must not Marry thee.

Cla.

I am sorry for that, Sir.

Gr.

What makes thee sorry, ha?

Cla.

My Charity.

Gr.

Charity! 'tis thy folly, by some called good nature, which brings folks to Beggery; no, thou ne'er shalt Marry that Fop as long as I live.

Cla.

Sir, I heartily thank your Promise, and here I make a solemn Vow, I never will be his Wife.

Gr.

Clarinda, you must now renew all your Charms, and strive by Words and Actions to reclaim Manley: Your attractive faculty hath force enough to reduce him.

Cla.

With scorns and slights he hath been so provoked, I doubt the task will prove too difficult for my weak power.

Per.

Love abused turns to hatred, Clarinda must walk warily.

Gr.

Let her alone; dissimulation, especially in love-affairs, is a vertue in∣herent to that Sex; I know his T•…•…mper, give him a fair opportunity, and my life he takes it; therefore omit no artifice that may reclaim him; I would not for the world lose this happy Match; I am now so far from being jealous of thee, that I heartily wish you were a Bed together.

Per.

And that may be before you are aware.

[Aside.

Gr.

Oh, my dear Clarinda! little think'st thou what pains, what fears, what doubts, what jealousies, we careful Parents labour under, to bestow our Children well,—may thy designs and undertakings prosper.

Cla.

Pray Heaven it end so well!

[Aside.

Enter Trusty, Manley, Eugenia, Freeman, as to the Wedding.

Gr.

My Friends and Neighbours, a hearty welcome to you all.

Man.

We thank you, Sir.—Madam, a good day.

Cla.

The same attend you, Sir.

Gr.

Well said, Clarinda, thou art my own Flesh and Blood,—how they stare and gaze!—ay, ay, 'tis so, their hearts are renewing ac∣quaintance.

Man.

The Bride's prepared for Marriage, Where is the Bridegroom?

Cla.

Not far, since you are here.

Gr.

That's my Jewel,—that was a bold stroke, and home to the pur∣pose, I wonder the phlegmatick Dog doth not leap at the bait; time was when I would have made better use of such an opportunity; I fear he has heard the news, and so draws off.

Enter Shuffle like a Post.

Shuff.

By your leave Gentlemen, Is one Mr. Manley here?

Man.

My Name is Manley.

Shuff.

I have a Letter for you.

[Delivers a Letter.

Man.

'Tis Budele's hand.

[Opens and Reads.

Gr.

It is his intelligence; this is the beginning of my ruin; I have not yet made my Bargain, and now my Daughter will be left upon my hands.

[Aside.

Man.

This for the Postage—bring confirmation, I ask no more of For∣tune,—Sir, Will you see it?

[Gives Money. Gives the Leteer to Trusty.

Tr.

Beyond imagination! a rich Load cut but Two days since, and yesterday a hundred load at Grass! I never heard the like success.

Gr.

The poor Labourers kill themselves. Oh, pity, pity I

[Aside.

Per.

Good news from your Tinn-work, Sir, I joy in the success.

Man.

I thank you, Sir,—but your Father hath ill fortune, for which I am sorry.

Shuff.

I'll in and uncase for fear of a discovery—

[Aside.]

—

[Exit.

Gr.

I can no longer hear this discourse; here is no Wedding to day, nor like to be with Squire Swash, which may prove to the advantage of some one present, if he please to understand it. Clarinda make your Friends well∣come, I'll in and cool my self, and then dispatch my Letters.

[Exit.

Cla.

You see my Father begins to be reconciled.

[Smiling.

Man.

I'll after, and invite him to the wedding.

Tr.

You then destroy your Sister's Match; 'tis dangerous medling with a Lion till he be securely chained: You match to day, they stay but one day longer; out of a vehement desire of revenge he shall devest himself of all to Peregrine.

Per.

and my fidelity to the fair Eugenia need not be mistrusted.

Eug.

Young Men are ever constant till they have a fairer purchase, or a better opportunity.

Enter Parson.

Tr.

Away, you lose time, the Parson is ready to say Grace,—Mr. Free∣man, I must desire your Company at Nich Froths immediately after Dinner, you may be serviceable to my Nephew.

Free.

I shall not fail, mean while I must to my Captain Busy.

Man.

Come, Parson, are you ready?

Par.

The Canonical Hour is pass'd, you must stay till to morrow.

Man.

I understand you.

[Gives him Money; the Parson looks on and fingers his Watch.

Par.

Hum! indeed I was mistaken,—a Quarter past Eleven; I'll do your business immediately in the next room.

Man.

And may we constant each to other prove, As now Uniting by the power of Love.

[Exeunt.