The mysteries of love & eloquence, or, The arts of wooing and complementing as they are manag'd in the Spring Garden, Hide Park, the New Exchange, and other eminent places : a work in which is drawn to the life the deportments of the most accomplisht persons, the mode of their courtly entertainments, treatments of their ladies at balls, their accustom'd sports, drolls and fancies, the witchcrafts of their perswasive language in their approaches, or other more secret dispatches ...

A Country Parson to a rich Farmers Daughter in the same Village.

Kind Mistress Dorothy,

THE Parson of this Parish doth send thee greeting in these Lines. For verily last Sunday as I was preaching, thou didst dart from thy eyes the love of thy amiable features into my brest. So that even as a Woman with Child longeth for the corner of an Apple-tart, or a piece of raw Mutton, so do I thirst after thee; and even as a Virgin that eateth Chalk and drinketh Vinegar, looks pale, & loseth her stomach, so do I look pale with languishing for thee, and my belly is shrunk up for want of food; for I have not eaten above half a surloin of Beef, forty tythe Egs, thirty black Puddings, and five great brown Apple-pies, since Sunday last, that your Father took me home

to dinner, which is now almost a week. I shall put it to thy choice, whether thou wilt be courted in publick or in private; for I have made five delicate Sermons upon the most amo∣rous place in all the Canticles, wherewithall to allure thee into my embraces. If thou dost consent, then will I go to thy mother, and as the childe desireth the maid to spread him some bread and butter for his afternoons Luncheon, so will I desire her to give thee unto me that I may spread my my self upon thee. If she replyeth, Yea, Then will I speak to her in the words of Saint Bernard, saying, I thank you hear∣tily good Mother. But if she say unto me, Nay, then as Saint Cyprian hath it very well: I shall be ready to hang my self. Be thou therefore my preserver, and my intercessour, that nei∣ther thou mayest want a Husband, nor the Parish a Minister, nor thy Mother a Man to devour her bag puddings.