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DEath seemeth to make its near Ap∣proach to me; and I am of all Per∣sons most inexcusable, who have frequent Warnings of my Departure hence, if I do not in some measure bethink my self, and consider my latter End. Lord, I have rea∣son to conclude, that few Sands remain in my Glass to run: With what Astonish∣ment, Anguish, and Trouble, may I re∣view
my Life past; not one Thought, Word or Action, but needs a Pardon: I blush to see how vile I have been; and if I cannot bear the Scrutiny of my own Con∣science, how shall I abide thy severe Tri∣al, who hath kept an exact Account of all my Sins and Offences? A numberless Num∣ber of Sins may be charged upon me, which I confess I have been guilty of. To whom shall I betake my self for Relief and Mer∣cy but to thee, O my gracious God? for that I have heard that the God of Israel is a merciful God; that he is slow to An∣ger, and plenteous in Mercy; that he doth abundantly pardon and forgive the Sins, Offences, and Provocations of his poor Creatures; and therefore as I would not presume, so I dare not despair. Lord, I fly from the Throne of thy Justice to the Throne of thy Mercy, and humbly im∣plore Pity, Pardon and Compassion, for thy Son's sake. Magnify thy Grace in pardoning me: though my Sins have a∣bounded, let thy free Grace superabound. Blot out all my Sins out of the Book of thy Remembrance, and let my Name be writ∣ten in the Book of Life: Let me be meet for the Inheritance of the Saints in Light, when this earthly Cottage shall crumble to Dust. Let me be admitted to that Build∣ing, an House not made with Hands, eter∣nal
in the Heavens. Let not me, though unworthy, be excluded from thy Presence. Look on me in and through thy well-be∣loved Son, in whom only thou art well pleased, and for his sake be reconciled to me a vile Wretch: By his Stripes let me be healed. I have nothing to plead for my self, only the Satisfaction of my Blessed Saviour, on whom alone I rely for Pardon and Life. Give me some undeniable Evi∣dence that I do belong to the Election of Grace; and that within a little while I shall be released from this Body of Sin and Death, and shall be made perfectly blessed in a full Injoyment of thee to all Eternity. Let me have some comfortable Hopes and Foretaste of a blessed Immortality, to sweeten my Passage through and out of this World. I am hastning and posting apace into an endless Eternity; O that I were ready for my Appearance at thy Bar. Ah Lord! if my Judg be not my Advo∣cate, with what Dread and Astonishment must I needs think of thy Tribunal, where I must appear before a Heart-searching, and a Sin-revenging God! There is not one Sin in my whole Life but is seen to thine all-seeing Eye, and is all naked and open to thee. Lord, I would humbly beg that my Sins, though many and great, may all be pardoned and forgiven. Many
horrid Sinners have been received to Mer∣cy; and though my Sins are of a Crimson and Scarlet Dye, yet the Blood of an All-sufficient Saviour can wash them white: He is able (and willing) to save all those that come to God through him, and he ever lives to make Intercession for them. Help me, by Faith, to lay hold on this Redeemer, who came into the World on this very Errand, to save poor Sinners, and reconcile them to God. If so, I dare not, I will not despair: yet, Lord, I beg I may not presume. Help me humbly to cast my self prostrate at thy Feet, and implore thy Heavenly Be∣nediction. Bless me (even me) in turn∣ing me away from all my Sins; let them never separate between thee and my poor Soul: Let them all be remitted, and then it will be as if they had never been com∣mitted. In my last and sorest Agonies let me see thou art reconciled to me. Be with me till I die; and when I die, and when this World can yield me no Help, Comfort, or Support, let me find it all in thee. I know thy Presence can sweeten all the Troubles of this Life, and Death it self: Then let me not be dismayed at that last and great Enemy. When I pass tho∣row the Valley and Shadow of Death, I will fear no Evil, for thou wilt be with me.
O Lord, I beg thou wouldst not (then) be a Terror to me: Thou art my Hope in the Day of Evil: Help me then to hold up my Head with Comfort, hoping my Re∣demption draweth nigh. Let not this World have such possession of my Heart and Affections, as to make me unwilling to dislodg and go hence when thou callest me off the Stage of this Life. Let the last Scene of my Life be the best part of my Days. Let me honour thee by doing thy Will, and submitting to whatever thou my God shalt think fit to lay on me. Help me to bear patiently thy afflicting Hand, either Sickness, or worldly Crosses, or Death it self. Let me not dare to mur∣mur, grumble or complain when Death looks me in the Face: Let me not be too much daunted, startled, and affrighted at its Approach. Thousands, and ten thou∣sands have gone through that dark Passage, and shot that Gulph, and there is no escape for any of the Children of Adam: they that have deserved Death Eternal, have no cause to grumble at Death Temporal, especially if it be unstung; nay, then there's Cause of Triumph, for it is an Entrance into Life, and Messenger to Glo∣ry; therefore I hope, and firmly believe and trust, that that God who hath con∣ducted so many safe through those dark
Regions, will not leave my poor Soul in its last Conflicts.