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WEll what would you say now.
Are we free from any hearing.
Pray let me ask a question then.
Speak, but be not tedious— some weighty business sure.
Your answer shall be just.
Yes prethy speak without more conjuring.
Do you—
Out with it.
Do you love Mr. Money.
Yes what of that.
Faithfully.
Must I needs make my faith so familiar with your know∣ledge i'st my father hath made you thus inquisitive.
No (as I covet happiness) I love you, and would prevent you he is one unfit for your deserts, my heart grieves for you.
Surely the fellows honest, prethy why.
First of all you— are young, fair, and kind, he old gou∣ty and churlish,— you vertuous, wise, and loving, he vicious damdable vicious, he has tane in Baudy-houses night, by night— who but money— he makes the Old bauds beautiful the Whores Caper naked at his appearance, marry they have reason for it, he secures them from all troubles, he is acquainted with all the terrible Iustices about the Subburbs (& wondrous well beloved too, theyl take his word before the bond of an Alderman, then is he very foolish, for he prefers the cloath of Tishue, and Plush before noble Hospitality, and a hater of all vertue.
You say I am vertuous, why doth he love me then.
He doth not, I know he doth not.
Why doth he swear he loves proves it by guests, would marry me.
He says so, i'l answer, with a question, why doth the Devil feed with liquorish meats, spiritful Wine, high pride, hot lechery, and feathered ease, those that he means to damn, he marry ye, fy, fy, he shall but like the greedy Tree-worm, suck the sap of Reputation from you, and leave you wither'd.
These words carry a sence to be observed, though to me needless the Jenius that doth guard the Reputation, my chast soul affects hath preinform'd me thus, this sheweth his honest though, since thou art so chary of my honour, (and wilt I hope, persist in't, I shall invite thy Judgment to a greater difficult, for which I will not be a light rewarder,
Here's harmony.
Go send my Sister to me.
I shal forsooth I am all
The very contemplation of my Love, exhilirates my heart, his name exiles all passion, what an infusious Love— when I was free and with impartial eyes, vew'd every one (Eagle like) could I dare the Summer Sun now one slight beam hath dimn'd me here come my sister she is
Did you send for me Sister.
Yes, Mrs. Simper I did send to you.
What would you (pray).
Talk and prattle, nothing else, what dost thou think of my choice.
'Tis a deserving one, is this all.
No when dost thou think I shall see him again.
I cannot tell, pray heaven they both prove constant.
Is that thy meditation— dost thou fear it.
Yes, and my fears hold Angry.
That they'l be false, forbid it heaven if mine be capable of Oaths I cannot.
Nay I will hope the best, you have most cause to grieve if it prove so— you will loose the richest prize.
Not in your eye I hope
I am the happier
Prethy stay.
I am invited by a difficult subject requires my meditati∣ons for a while prethy excuse me.
I am invited by a difficult subject requires my meditati∣ons for a while, prethy exuse me, this is a Riddle learn or turn Sorceress and raise up the Ghost of Edipus to unfold it.
If you derive your Pedigree from the antient house of the Monies, ther's some affinity between us.
I'l assure you Sir we came in with the Conqueror my mo∣ther was a Pecunia.
What kin to the Argents,
Twas my fathers name.
Well said Frank bring me into the kindred too.
My mother was an Argent, my father an Aurum.
Why then your name is Gold Sir.
Yes sir, the best of my kindred lived in Barbery.
Then by that name I must salute you never noble couzen Gold.
Sweet couzen Money,— pray be acquainted with my Bro∣ther Iewel.
Bright Mr. Iewel. I pray salute my Ningle Credit.
Ningle Sir.
I sir, tis a familiar Term passeth betwixt us.
Good Mr. Credit. I salute you.
I return your salute pretious Mr. Jewel.
Indeed Sir, pretious is my Christen name.
Whether go you Gent. (if without offence I may desire it.)
Ye are married Gentlemen.
Married, yes, and I believe you know our wives— we married two Sisters, I the Lady Portion, and my Brother, the younger Sister, beauty.
Indeed the Lady Portion is my neer Kinswoman.
Yet more kindred
I am her fathers elder Brother.
Then Gentlemen we dare reveal our Voyage we are going to do, what you it seems have done.
Marry a couple of Virgins i'l lay my life.
And since happily we have met we shall desire you two, for Witnesses to such agreements as their Fathers, and we shall con∣clude upon.
Then you have the Wenches consents.
Firm, firm.
And yet were distrustful, Jealous of your friends.
No not Jealous.
Who is here my rival Money, and his Ningle Credit, with two Caveliers— the Old man is taking his Noons Nap, ile wake him with this news suddainly, hoping he will run out off his wits for Joy— master, master awake here are both your Son's Mr. Money and Mr. Credit.
Where my loyal Callumney, where where—
Look here Sir, look here, unless you stay them speedily two golden unthrifts (in whose clutches they now are) will car∣ry them from your sight for ever.
Forbid it Mammon, ile call to them, what if a man leap'd down Callumney— ile leap, may a man break his neck hear think'st thou.
His Neck scarce hurt his foot.
Do thou leap first good Calumny, to satisfie my fear, a little lead me the way.
Alas Sir, I appear so black and horrid I shall quite scare them from you.
Thou saiest true ile call, ile call, they will be gone ere I can moderately go down staires.
Call, fy leap Sir— 'tis but a squelch I have a kinsman an excellent bone setter.
Shall I, shall I, Callumny, I can have but a squelch thou sayest.
No, no.
I but twill be a Devilsh squelch— wilt thou be acces∣sary to thy good Masters death.
You might have been down by this time.
That I might I faith for ever rising. I might have had my last squelch— Vh, if I were sure my legs would come first to ground I would not care— well I will call, Son Money, Son Credit, Gentlemen whether go you.
O Father Clutch, no further then your house.
My faithful Sons— that I were within an embrace, but ile come immediately, imediately Gentlemen— you'l stay a while.
Yes wee will wait you sir:
Open the door Callumny.
I cannot find the key sir.
Not find the key, dainty fine tricks, where hath your Devil-ship laid it, break open the door, you Hell-hound.
I have found it now.
Did I call thee Hell-hound, forgive my passion gentle Callumny.
You are well beloved here Gentlemen.
Yes faith the Old man dotes upon us.
HEe may be proud of yee, ye are the best Suitors, have craced his House, since his Daughters entred into their Teenes.
We are men (you know) the world thinks well off.
Yee are your selves, the world, in spight of the flesh and Devil.
You do ecclips us with your praise, and your affection, yeilds a partial censure.
They are here still, Oh my right noble Sons, Son Mo∣ney let me enjoy an armful of thee— and of thee— trust me Son Credit, my youngest Daughters sickness is for thee — and Son Money did your man tell you how my elder Daughter swounded in your absence— I thought I should have lost her, nothing but your name could quicken life in her.
My Man Sir.
And my Son Credits man (too) Indeed Gentlemen I am infinitely engaged to you, you are noble Lovers I see you doe respect your Ladies.
We sent no men good Sir, bethink your self, sure hee's Transported.
True tricks of Nobility, see if they will acknowledge their good actions
Two worthy friends of ours.
Their names (I pray) I may salute em.
This Gentlemans name is Gold.
Mr. Gold.
And this Mr. Iewel.
He is in my eare allready, Illustrious Mr. Iewel— glorious Mr. Gold— you are both entirely wel∣come
Pray lead the way Sir.
Indeed ile follow you, nay pray Sir— Mr. Gold, Mr. Iewel—
How is our house enobled— had my Master but two Daughters more, what marriages should we have M. Money and M▪
Credit ('tis resolv'd) must marry the two Virgins— say you so— but what sayes Mr. Callumny to that, by your leave, Clutch you promised him the Elder—and Money like a trade Rogue you will defeat him, but mark what followeth (my aged Sig∣nior) he like a more cunning Rogue, hath that in practice will defeat you both— I am strangely lost, what should these fellows be that came with letters— Money and Credit said they sent none such— I have it, I know I have it, (without all doubt) they are servants to these fresh Mamoratto's Gold and Iewel—here will be some scuffling for the wenches. I may prevent you Mr. Gold or Mr. Iewel if you solicite my Lindabradez.
Callumny my best Callumny, why thus melancholly, Sirrah my Daughter dotes upon thee, upon the Devil—
This is the preambulation to more mischeif cunning Sir, I apprehend you, I do expect I should encourage on Gold and Iew∣el to your daughters— when you are hang'd,
She thinks thee honest, them but flatterers.
Well what would your Sir.
Methinks I see thee walk in cloath of Tishue whilst I in Furres in an imperious chair sit and prolong my hours with gazing on thee, my delightful darling.
Notable Rogue, but whats your will, declare it pray sir.
This is day thou knowest, Money and Credit obleige their whole Estates, to me on condition I give my free consent, that they may match my Daughters, mark ye, my free consent, but if their free consents they cannot get they are like to stand the hazard, Gold for thee my boy— now Sirrah, oh that I had two Daugh∣ters more.
You would fetch over the new Guests Gold and Iewel,
Thou art all apprehension, thou wert composed of Craft and Subtilty.
This is too hard a taske, you cannot give your consent
twice, Law you know will not allow of it.
Do thou but cheer them on, let me alone in time to work the Catastrophe, I have a Plot, (not altogether perfected, that shall make thee mine, ne're fear it, in the mean time, be thou their Genious encourage them, my Boy, encourage them I cannot stay, I must about my profit.
I apprehend the Rogue, he has given Money and Credit, his full consent, now Sir, will he marry them to Gold and Iewel, and at the last appear as ignorant, as they that never knew, and wher's my Mistress then, kind Sir expect (if you be wife) nothing from me may make addition to your happiness— But who comes here i'l step behind the hangings.
What plentious happiness my soul enjoys in seeing you my wished one, nothing shall now I hope (if Hymen smile) delay our Nuptialls.
Hey day, what have we here— sure these are Eyes, and Ears.
Sweetest it is my firm resolve, to hearts sincere, nothing so happy as the marriage hour.
Good agen.
You know my mind, lets in again your father will suspect else, I shall declare my plots to you, at large when time shall be auspitious.
You are full of constancy.
Very pretty, this is one of them (as I take it) I should en∣courage, she hath plaid my part upon her self and given him a large encouragement—agen.
Why prerty sweet one can thy thoughts be won to think my tongue has been the Orator of a disloyal heart.
But could you not affect my Sister dearer.
This is the second part to the same Tune what courtly Roguery may a man descern behind Arras.
What my friends choice, unclasp an amity in whose fair Bonds, are fetter'd nought but love and sweet indulgence, did not that claim a share in my best thoughts my Amorous Soul, crea∣ting you it's object says you excel in merrit.
Think me not loveless for my easie fear.
Indeed I do not.
Be wary or all's mar'd.
I'l warrant ye come, let's withdraw agen.
Am I designed for a better end then hell, the Devil keeps no truer touch with me, Love may be thus reciprocal, in as short a Season, but such aged familiarity call's marvail in my sconce— Oh for a Jury of Witches to find the guilt of this bu∣siness out, 'tis now as the Devil my aged Signior would have it, ye shall have Gold and Iewel, to your Sons, ne're fear it, if I do not cross the business, ther's a business unthought off, I think of it though and will endeavour it to my power, I'l do my good will, Mr. Clutch, ye can have but a mans heart, here they are all, work work, my brain.
Look ye Gentlemen, this is fair inconsideration of your estates I give my full consent, that you may marry my two daugh∣ters.
We acknowledge so much.
Well said, I think you need not doubt theirs.
Theirs we are confident.
Coxcombs you are, if you knew all
I know you do consider I am old.
Why I may dye to morrow, Not these threescore years I hope, and then you will be blest with all my store, these Girls must reap the fruit of all my care.
Well, their free wills we doubt not.
O you little Rogue I have thy consent, have I not Spouse.
I Cadeedlo, Head.
Cadeedlo Head, those words come so prettily from thee.
I am glad
Sir here's, Sir here's two Gentlemen, and their wives are come to visit you, and my mistresses.
What are they.
Mr. Silver the monyer, and his mistress.
Light heel, keep such a stamping, that we shall nere be able to endure the house, what's the tother.
Mr. Hammer-head, the Goldsmith, Sir, he has a very handsome wife.
O then by all means let them in.
Do, do, Callumy, their worthy friends, and necessary members in a Common wealth, Mr. Silver, my
Gentlemen pray salute your friends, Mr. Silver, you
Fair mistress welcome and may choycest delight, ever crown your wishes.
The like to you.
Frank has borded one, and I like a coward stand and fear to assault the other, but I am a Captain, and will fear no colours mrs. your welcome as I may say.
I thank you Sir.
Is that your husband forfooth.
Yes Sir. why do ye ask.
Because I would know.
A very merry Gentleman.
'Tis as I tell you Sir, Mr. Mony, and Mr. Credit, has engaged their whole estates to me, inconsideration of my full con∣sent, that they may marry my daughters.
Why then we shall have weddings two or three at.—
Least, for here's my friend Mr. Silver, has stole his Mi∣stress forth and means to marry her presently.
Why then he's one of our rank.
He is, but Gentlemen so many weddings towards, and nere a dance, come, come, each take his mistress and dance, and foot it a little for the satisfaction of these spectators.
Ha, ha, ha,—are these your Kinsmen Gentlemen, ha, ha, ha, I am a little absur'd, ha, ha, ha, pray pardon me.
Our kinsman, yes, why dost ask.
They are a couple of crafty merchants, ha, ha, ha, they may well be confident of the consents of their mistresses.
Not unlikely, why They are your Kinsmen you say.
Yes.
Whose Credits you respect.
As our lives.
I vow ye should not know it else pray make no words on't.
Well, speak.
If these two tuff blades, are of ability, they have made all sure, i'l warrant them.
Ha— ha, sure prethy be plainer.
I do conjecture something, the Rogues breath smells worse than Garlick, it
A trick of youth, and partly in fashion, a slight mi∣stake, made use. O'th Bridal night, before the wedding morning, do ye understand me now Gentlemen— no hurt, onely.
Foah, now 'tis out—the Devil choak thee for't.
How cam'st thou to know it.
Their Baud i'l lay my life.
Very easily Sir, I was a Servant to them, and had good cash to learn silence with many fair promises.
I, I knew't would come too't.
Why what a Rogue art thou to discover then.
I but I know to whom, their friends and kinsmen, all the Devils in Hell, could not have wrinched it from me but you.
We are much ingaged to you—
Does not their Father know it:
Not yet Sir.
Well let it go no further.
Not for a World.
Come hither Frank.
Felix. Feminia, let me talk with you a little.
Yes Sir.
Mr. Money, Mr. Credit, Gentlemen when must we have Gloves, when is the time prefixt, I perceive you are wel prepared,
To morrow, ist not to morrow Ningle.
To morrow, let me see to morrow, I to morrow a very fit day— yes, yes, to morrow Callumney.
And are you sure you have the consent of my young Mistresses.
Sure dost take us for Asses, dost think we are now to make Sure, and must be married to morrow.
Come I know you are not sure, you have both most foo∣lish lost your whole estates.
How.
Be these two yonder your Kinsman.
Yes.
You are sure ont.
Yes.
So sure am I, they are contracted both unto your Brides, that should be, and (let me tell you for tis frindship bids me) the old man cares not it is (in part) his policy.
How.
Nay it must out, although my Masters secret conscience will have it so, do ye but mark his words, I give ye but my con∣sent (saith he) having reserv'd to himself thus to delude you force∣ing his daughters privately which indeed he need not, they are themselves too willing to give their free consents to marry your rich Kinsmen.
And will my Spouse turn Baggage, is there no hone∣sty in Cadeedlo.
But is this truth.
Why will you here me swear.
Any thing but Cadeedlo, that hellish Oath.
These eyes and ears are witnesses to their contract.
It cannot be they are married.
So am I, am I not, they married— pist— Ile be more o∣pen to you did not my Master tell yee, ye sent your two men to his Daughters.
I perfectly remember't we sent none.
True they were servants to your kinsman, and to my knowledge brought them letters, but as forerunners to their vi∣sits.
What will become of this is there no prevention what an unconscionable misers this.
Gentlemen, now hearken to me since I have opened the Sore I will apply a remedy, therefore (ingeniously) observe from me, allwayes come short of this, I have been industrious for yee.
Honest Callumny.
With resolv'd confidence, call them aside and in the way of frindship make known you have enjoyed the Daughters, laugh∣ing it out (like some Familiar action) or ye make your boast (as thus) that as aged as ye are) you can yet overcome young Vir∣gins, I need not teach ye to bounce I am sure, there are twenty wayes to divulge it, swear it, rather then loose your main estates.
By my Credit (an Oath I fear I shall nere swear agen) 'tis a peice of rare Rogurie, and I must hug thee for't.
I like it (too) weel put in practice strait.
Least it be to late, they are now in consultation, be sure you bear up stifly, think on your Estates, go not a word more, lest we be observed.
Those Gentlemen Sir.
Yes you know my mind, ile win your oppertunity.
Fy in a passion for her, let her pass, think your self happy that you know it, 'twould have troubled ye more after marriage.
Well ile do somthing.
Come Gentlemen will ye in, your Dinners are prepa∣r'd, by this I am sure, discourse the rest at table, 'twill make your fare digest.
Wee'l wait upon you Sir.—