Nugæ venales, or, Complaisant companion being new jests, domestick and forreign, bulls, rhodomontados, pleasant novels and miscellanies.

Another.

A Person being very Rich, was like∣wise ostentatious and very peevish, a Daughter he had was tolerably hand∣som, and was intirely beloved by a Coun∣try Gentleman, of no mean Estate, having gained the young Gentlemomans con∣sent, he acquainted her Parents with the Love he bore their Daughter, who no sooner heard it, but were in a great Passi∣on, their ambition judging him too mean a Fortune, and therefore not only refu∣sed his offer, but very uncivilly forbade him the House: saying, Moreover, that if it should be their misfortune, and his imaginary happiness to steal a Marriage and rob them of their Daughter, he would never give them a farthing. He obeyed their commands in that, but resolved notwithstanding that he would see his Mistress whatever came on't; Love soon found out a way to effect it, at which interview he told her what had past between him, and her Pa∣rents, and the refusal of the Match propo∣sed; she seemed exceedingly troubled hereat, and wept bitterly, the other to comfort her, swore if she would be con∣stant,

he would never forsake her; and to shew the reality and integrity of his Affection offer'd to Marry her immediat∣ly, she consented, and being married with all convenient speed, they perform∣ed the rights of Hymen, and sent her home to her Fathers House, desiring her not to take any Notice of what had past, and since the time of their being together was so short the Old ones could not suspect any thing.

A few days after this new married Gen∣leman got his (supposed Maiden) Wife in∣to his company, and having repeated his former delights, he told her, he would go into the Country, giving her directions where to send to him, and that if she prov∣ed with Child, and that her Parents should discover it, as that they would quickly do, that then she should dissemble the greatest grief imaginable, and when pres∣sed very much to discover the Father, she should then confess it was such a one, who had formerly made Love to her but her Parents would not accept of the Motion; as for the rest said he, leave the whole management to me.

Upon this they parted, and she prov∣ed with Child according to his expectati∣on.

The Mother perceiving the frequent Pewkings of her Daughter, with the swelling of her Belly,, took her into a private place and there conjured her to tell her the naked Truth, whether she was not with Child? The Daughter with many sighs and tears, confessed that she was, and that such a Gentleman living in the Country had done it: The Mother like a Woman distracted, first lockt up her Daughter, and then ran to her Husband, and calling him aside, told him of the shame and Infamy that had befallen his Family, and by whom; this unexpected news made him ten times madder than his Wife; but at length they both con∣cluded that it was but a folly, either to rave or rail at their Daughter, but to study some means to sauder up the crack of their Daughters Honour,. No better expedient was thought on, but to write to the Gentleman and acquain•• him with what he had don, requiring satisfaction; this Letter was sent, and another return∣ed by him in Answer thereunto; to this effect, That it is true he had lain with their Daughter, but he knew not whether he got her with Child, for she that can dispende with be∣ing a Where to one, will be so to another. In

short he concluded, that he had no more to say than this, That if she would be so im∣pudent, to lay the Child to him he must main∣tain it, but as for her part, he had nothing to say to her, for he had already over-paid her that little pleasure, he had purchased of her.

This return netled them to the heart, and show'd it their Daughter with all the opprobriums that can be uttered. The poor young Woman replyed not a word, supplying her speech with nought but sighs and tears. The old people grieved at this, sent down a milder Letter, re∣questing the favour, that he would be pleased to come up to London for they had some business extraordinary with him, tending much to his advantage. He sent them word, that he had extraordinary business where he was, and that he nei∣ther could, or would stir from it. As the Belly swell'd, so did their sorrow, searing there was no remedying the cause thereof.

Upon another consultation the Daugh∣ter told her Father, that before ever she consented he promised her Marriage; this made the old Gentleman caper, Nay then said he we are well enough; immedi∣ately calling for Pen, Ink, and Paper he

wrote another Letter, charging the Gen∣tleman home with his Promise some∣times threatening him, if he made it not good, and then sweetning him again, &c. beseeched him to make a journey up. This Gentleman (seeing it high time to condescend to what he most de∣fired) sent word by such a day he would (if in health) infallibly be in London, to no other end, than to understand his will and pleasure. The Gentleman is as good as his Word, a stately Dinner is provided with plenty of Wine, and the Cloath be∣ing taken away, there was no other dis∣course, than how to salve up their Daughters Credit by a speedy Marriage, and as an incouragement they would give him a Thousand pounds: He slight∣ed it, alledging further (with a Sir-re∣verence to the company,) he would never, sh—in his own Hat, and then clap it on his head; as they advanced he more and more slights their propo∣sals, saying that an Estate of two hundred a year deserves a greater Portion; at length they offered him two Thousand Pounds, to be paid immediately, he ac∣cepts of it with this Proviso, that upon the Birth of the Child their Daughter

now goes with, there shall be paid more, five hundred Pounds: it is agreed to, and the Parents were so eager and sollicitous in the preservation of the Honour of their House that they would needs have the Marriage consummated immediate∣ly, the Country Gentleman agreed there∣unto, and presently sent away for the same Parson that married them; who being desired by the Parents to joyn those two together in Matrimony, he smiled, and said, Sir, that is needless, for I have done it already; How said the Old Gentleman? 'tis very true replyed the Son-in-law, and for Confirmation, see here the Certificate before your Daugh∣ter was with Child; and so she is no Whore, but an honest Wife. Nay then said the Old Gentleman I see I am gull'd, but since it is no worse, and that our Fa∣mily is not defamed, I will make the odd Five hundred a Thousand pounds, and so God bless you together.