The canting academy, or, The devils cabinet opened wherein is shewn the mysterious and villanous practices of that wicked crew, commonly known by the names of hectors, trapanners, gilts, &c. : to which is added a compleat canting-dictionary, both of old words, and such as are now most in use : with several new catches and songs, compos'd by the choisest wits of the age ...

The vicious and Remarkable Lives of Mother Craftsby, and Mistress wheedle.

THe World is full of Impostors, and indeed she her self is nothing else but a complicated Cheat: Yet she faine would appear more splendid and better than she is: Men and Women herein contained to imitate several of Natures production, bad men would seem good though their Intentions and Actions tend not to that Center, and that they may palliate their Rogueries, play the Counterfeit with Vertue and Honesty; Peb∣bles well cut, and Bristol-Stones by their borrowed or feigned Luster prove the Rivalls to Real Diamonds, and often delude the ignorant, but when judiciously compared they prove but foils to the others true Worth, and their glittering serves only to surprize the ignorant.

The constant Standards or Conveyers of light and Virtue are neglected, when short liv'd Me∣teors (Spawns of Bogs, and Extracts of Dunghills) drawn by the Suns resistless power to a great er height then they themselves were capable of attaining, to become the wonder of a gazing Multitude, and so much pride therein that being possest with a strange Phrenzy of Ambition, regard not what they do or suffer, so that they make some bustle in the World.

The Persons of whom I do intend my Discourse were solely bent upon this irregular Humour;

Craftsby being now grown Old, the heat of whose youthful blood being by Age now near upon extinguisht, minded her profit only; and that her Niece Mistress Wheedle might not too violently prosecute her pleasurable inclinations, she stopt them in their career by a watchful Eye and Poli∣tick Instructions.

The Subtle Bawd was glad to see her towring Spirit to soar above her mean and low born for∣tune, to the supplying of which defect, she dayly plum'd her head with Ingenious conceits, which in time might be wrought into such deceits as she aim'd at, and so it prov'd for dazled with these false appearances, they both forsook Vertue, the difficult yet the only direct road to Glory, pur∣suing their satisfactions in the crooked and by∣paths of Subtlety and Circumventing all which come with in the verge of their power so to effect their purpose.

It matters not to tell you where they were born, neither do I think them half so wise as they should be, who relating the life of a Malefactor contend about the place of his or her Nativity; some placing it here, others, there, the truest writer in the Moon, although the opinion savors some∣what of Lunacy; let it suffice that my two fe∣male Whipper Snappers, were born in Terra In∣cognita and travelled to London for profit, cariosity and pleasure.

It will be requisite I begin with the life of Mistriss Craftsby, as an introduction to that of Mistress Wheedle, since the former had but just began to act her part on Loves Theater, when the other (her Niece) was then as a meer Novice in such Affairs, being but a blossom in the Cyprian Gar∣den.

Mistriss Craftsby had a very good natural Ge∣nius, quick of apprehension, and though she had a very nimble invention, yet contrary to General observation she had likewise a capacious Memory, its faculties were so retentive she never heard any Ingenious expression once which was not after∣wards absolutely her own; her beauty was not much fam'd though her face was very well featur'd and fashion'd, her stature was middle siz'd, her body plump and fleshy, her hair of a dark brown and an eye as black as a slow, with eye brows so large and thick, that Nature seem'd prodigal in planting thereon so much, that if half could have been transplanted 'twould have been more then sufficient to have adern'd the face of some antient Citizen made barren by the coldness of his o're frigid Nature.

She very much affected gaudy apparel, and was a great hater of labour and pains taking, the first she could not purchase in the Country, by reason of the poverty of her Relations, labour she was continually exercised in, which made her enter tain so great an aversion to the Country, that nothing could oppose her Resolution of seeing London, and that which hastned her departure, was the insufferable dislike she took to the con∣versation of her Country Neighbours, there being no proportion between her and their Humours, nor finding any thing agreable in their Rural pastimes. Susans intended departure (for that was her Christian name) being generally spread abroad, a universal grief possest the Inhabitants of that Parish wherein she liv'd, but more espe∣cially two Young men, the one a Wheel-Right and the other a Serving-Man; the last followed her to London, and not finding her lost his Wits,

and was put into Bedlam, where he trifled away his time in Straw and making Congies to a post instead of his Mistress, till he dyed; the other was no less forward in the purchasing of his love than the former who went for London also, and missing his Mistress wheel'd off to Sea, whose flames were quencht in the bottom of the O∣cean.

The time being come for her departure, she mounted on a pack, and sate as if she was riding on a Cammel, in her best Countrey livery, that is to say, she had a straw hat, a green Wastcoat, and red Petticoat, with Hob-naild shoo's which would strike Fire at every step, the Emblem of what Fire works she would make when she arriv'd at her journeys end.

Coming to London, the reputation of a harmless Country-Girle, and a good comely Face, soon in∣troduced her into a service, where having learn'd somewhat more than she understood in the Coun∣try, and by her service having gotten good Cloths on her Back, she imagined the place wherein she lived too low to advance her to that height to which her fancy dayly prompted her; neither were the Amorous pretences and insinvations of her Masters Apprentice able to detain, although the grand Obligation of a promised marriage was contained therein; I concieve the stay of three Years, was too long for one in her longing Con∣dition.

The only place she inquired after was a Mer∣chants House, as creditable in the first place, and next, as there was more probability of advancing her fortunes by matching with some deluded Casheer and she was encouraged to this confidence by the many matches she had heard of in this nature by

such who were as full of hopes as she was, of thriving in this kind.

A Service she soon got in a House as she de∣sired, which, for external splendor and internal accommodations, was little inferior to any Mer∣chants in the whole City.

Here she behaved her self so well, that she gain'd the love and favor of the whole House, and so craftily she counterfeited a becomming modesty that her Masters Casheer entertain'd for her a love within his breast that is not common, the more his Reason indeavored to suppress, it became more Violent, and giving it no vent it was ready to breake that wherein it was Con∣tain'd.

She like a cunning Gypsie percieved well the malady of his mind, but would not take the least notice of it, and instead of quenching that over grown flame which she had blown up by her alluring subtle practices, her winning carriage and seeming compliance to every thing he seem'd to desire, added new fewel thereunto dayly.

He could now no longer keep in that which would have its free course in spight of all oppo∣sitions whatsoever, and now it violently broke out like Powder fir'd, making a report so much the greater by how much it is pent up in a narrow Circumference.

When other careless Souls are dead in sleep, or suffer themselves to be led Captive in leaden Chains, by that heavy headed God Morpheus, the careful Lover is ever watchful, his eyes can find no rest, because of those continual Alarums the panting Heart doth beat on his troubled Amorous breast.

Thus stood the affair between our Lovers,

Susan being informed that he would relate some∣thing of importance that night to her, thought every hour seven till the family was gone to bed, and he every hour seventy till he might have some assurance of his bedding with his Love.

The house being now in a profound Silence, he steals out of his own Chamber, and softly trips down the stairs into the Kitching where his Love attended his coming.

Low was their talk but high was the passion they had reciprocally for each other, that sighs and looks were forc't to supply the place of speech, discovering what their tongues were incapable of uttering, and Kisses supplyd the defects of all the rest.

His warm touches and frequent embraces did melt her into complacency so that on both sides never were their made so many Amorous promises as between these two Lovers, he swore and damn'd himself a thousand times if ever he broke his faith with her, and she vow'd and protested she would never be unfaithful to him, upon this Obligation she condescended the next night he should lie with her with this Proviso, that if she be with Child he should marry her incontinently, but if no such thing hapned to defer it some time longer, this agreement was Seal'd interchangeably by Kisses on each side, and so they went to their re∣spective Chambers.

The Master of the House (whom we shall call Mr. Tradewell) had a Partner and his Wife in the House with him, whom for the better carrying on the Story, we must call by the name of Mr. Sil∣ware. this Merchant was gone into France about some Affair that concerned the Partnership, and left his Wife behind him to the care of Mr. Trade∣well,

who ever had a great respect for her, being a very lovely Woman, and one whose beauty and every part exceeded his own Wives by many de∣grees, the consideration of which had so inflam'd his Heart, that he only wanted an opportunity to make known to her the Fervency of his Af∣fection.

This absence of her Husband gave him all the advantages a Lover could require, neither was he backward in the vsing of such means that might accomplish his irregular defires; he had made several attempts but still was repulst, at length he resolv'd to summon together all his force and give her one home Charge more, or one Vigorous assault before he would raise his Siege; the time designed was the next day, after the night the Casheer and Susan had agreed to the assignation of each others Maiden-Heads the night follow∣ing.

The day being come and when one half or more thereof was spent, Mr. Tradewell singles out his game (fair to Admiration) and resolved to hit his mark.

You may therefore Swear he did not fright her Ear, with the dreadful stories of horred Dutch cruelties in Amboyna, nor what will become of that ungrateful Nation hereafter, but how he might make a Conquest over Chastity.

Mr. Selware heard his temptations with much seeing impatience and reluctancy, offring fre∣quently to be gone, but easily stayd by her as∣sailant; she fretted and fumed at the walls as if they were accessory to her detention whereas the door stood wide open, or had it been lockt one Skreeke or two would have as nimbly opened it as the Key thereunto belonging; having flounst

and flung up and down, She at length (recovering breath) thus capitulates with him: Where note that Fortress or Citadel that admits of a Parley with her Assailent is already half Surrendred.

O Mr. Tradewell I did not think you were a Man so loosly given, how can you thus offer to injure four at once, your Wives Vertue, my Husbands friendship, my Chastity, and most of all your own Soul.

Tradewell had a tongue most excellently well hung, with wit at will, by which he so handled the matter, that he cleared these Scruples, making her believe that forreign Nations publickly per∣mitted (Adjutores Tori;) helpers in the marriage bed; and that it was freely granted by the husband that she should make choice of any one friend whom she pleased, that here at home such things were winked at, else how comes it about it should grow so Fashionable for Women to have a Gal∣lant besides their Husbands, who shall not only participate of the pleasure of the Wife, but the profits also of the Husband.

What harm then (said he) can your consent to my proposals do to your Husbands friend∣ship or your Honesty? as for my Wives Vertue if she thinks Chastity such, let her live Cloy∣ster'd up in my Arms only, if not, let her take the freedome I freely give my self.

He added a thousand things more which his transported passion dictated to him, and laid them so home that with a kind of willing un∣willingness she yeilded to what he requested, but with many Cautions, as Constancy, Secrecy, &c.

These Amorous combatants had nothing now to consider of but to appoint the field where this

Battail must be sought which was the bed of her absent Husband, the hour Eleven, and that he would take care the whole Family should be in Bed by that time; in Order thereunto he gave Order that Supper should be made ready betime, and that his intentions were to rise very early the next day, and therefore he would goe to Bed by time.

This news did not a little please Susan and the Casheer, as thinking they should the sooner and longer injoy their eagerly expected pleasures; every finger that Susan had, supply'd the place of a hand to dispatch Supper, which being ready was disht up, and Mr. Tradewell and his Wise with Mistress Saleware seating themselves.

Susan, according to Custom, waited on her Mistress and the Casheer on his Master: Susan was then so bashful that least ought in her looks should betray what was all-ready complotted, look't down continually, not daring to look up least her wanton glances (which she could not hin∣der) should prove the Traytors to her expected bliss.

The Casheer in the mean time stood like a Statue either staring in Susans face, or else his Eyes wandring he knew not whether, with his Wits in the sweet contemplation of those delights he should be master of e're long, his thoughts were so totally employd hereon, that he was no farther serviceably to the table then for laughter, for if his Master cald for Beer, he brought him a clean plate, if his Mistress called for a Glass of Wine he pre∣sented it to the Maid, and then to mend the Mistake to Mistress Saleware, which caused a great deal of pleasant discourse what should be the occasion of this suddain disorder, none took

more notice of it than Mr. Tradewell, for her Hus∣band was in the like distraction, neither was Mistress Saleware in less confusion.

Mr. Tradewell partly by the strength of imagin∣ation and partly by those flames, the incomparable beauty and over kind promises his Partners Wife had kindled in him, made him even ready to dis∣solve as Snow against the Scorching rays of the Meridean Sun; Fancy made him think he was already incircled in her arms and clung as close as Jvies to the Elme; sometimes he thought he heard the Ravishing twang of her harmonical Lace against her Bodice, making her self unready to be the more ready to his devotion.

As Supper ended so did the discourse, for Mr. Tradewell counterfiting a bad Sentinel fell fast a sleep pretendedly; this made Mistress Saleware retire, to give opportunity to Mr. Tradewell to put her Husband to bed, who (understanding from himself that his business would call him up very Early next morning) awaked him out of his sleep desiring him to take his rest in Bed: Mr. Tradewell starting as one too suddainly disturbed out of his sleep, answer'd (raising himself and rubbing his Eyes) goe to Bed Sweet-heart, I will but goe down and give some instructions to my man what is to be done to morrow, and Order them to goe to Bed, I will instantly return; having given what Orders he thought convenient below, com∣ing up he renew'd the former discourse with Mistress Saleware and confirmed the contract; he return'd to his own Chamber, where he found his Wife in Bed, and undressing himself went to Bed also and to prevent toying with his Wife fell immediately (but feignedly) into a profound sleep.

His wife that was not accustomed to be so serv'd could not refrain shedding some tears to be thus frustrated of th••se expectations natural heat had ingendred within her; but knowing how ill hu∣mour'd he used to be when prest to any thing he did not voluntary propound and fearing to displease him she accomadated her contentment with hopes remitting the fruition of her desires to some other time, upon these agreable and self pleasing thoughts sleep closed the portalls of her Eyes, so Captivating her senses that her sleep was as profound as her Husbands was counter∣feit.

Every one in the House were now paying the quiet Tribute due to Pains-taking, indulgent Nature excepting the aforementioned Lovers: Mistress Saleware lay (improperly) above Mr. Trade-well, Susan in a little room next him, the Casheer a good way distant; Mistress Saleware and Susan placed their ears to the best advantage that they might hear the first tread of their ex∣pected Amorous visitants, you must think they hearkned with as much attention, as a dying Patient would hear the Physitians sentence of Life or Death, privately whispered into the Ear of some friend standing by.

Nor did the weary Traveller indure more pain and inquietude in waiting that happy day which shall free him from those fears and dangers do on every side environ him, then this our Tradewell did in having those doubts removed which encom∣passed by the comming of the appointed Hour, before it was fully arrived he left his loving Bed fellow, whose Face though not tinctur'd with a Vermillion hue like a Morning Blush, yet was there nothing wanting in her which appertain'd

to her sex, but in every thing was rather redun∣dant.

You may imagine he was very careful of tread∣ing hard, yet though he went softly, he could not hinder the creaking of the boards, which caused a double Alarum, the one to his Mistress of his approach, and the other of fear to himself, least thereby he might awake his Wife and so she find him absent, the consideration hereof made his heart to imitate a Drummer in the beating of a point of War.

Coming to her Chamber door, he cald to her in so low a voice he could not hear himself; yet she could perfectly at a good distance and in∣stantly give him admission.

What they speedily went about you may ima∣gine, and therefore it is needless to give you an account of every Amorous folly these two Lovers were guilty of that time, which lay in Action more than expression, and no wonder since kisses barracaded up their speech.

Having tired each others lipps, they then en∣countred with their Leggs and Arms, but how, my modesty will not give me leave to tell.

No doubt they ran their Posts or Stages with uncontrouled Eagerness; like an high mettled Horse which at first mounting will Carvete and Caper, and without the least touch of Switch or Spur will bounce and foam at mouth, nay fret it self out of Breath; but let us leave these Cham∣pions of Venus, and give an account of what hapned in this interval, as a just reward and a remarkable casual revenge on Tradewells infide∣lity.

About half an hour after this disloyal Husband had left the warm Bed of his hitherto constant

Bed-fellow to go a catterwowling, his Cashier (who was about the age of twenty, a handsome lu∣sty Lad) got out of his Bed, having slept against his will, and not knowing how much of the night had slipt away, rubbing his eyes between sleeping and waking, he gropes his way in the dark to find out Susans Chamber; but instead thereof, entred into that of his Mistresses: The first thing he en∣countred with was the Bed, and finding it so quick∣ly, doubted not but that he was right, concluding the narrowness of the room guided him to his in∣tent and purpose; whereupon lifting up the clothes softly, he laid himself down by her side; he was not long there, e're he began to bustle (not as if he was setling himself in order to his repose) which soon awaked his Mistress, who believing it was her Husband, embraced him with an ardent affection, saying, My dearest Joy, how cold you are? Come, put thy legs within mine, I'le warm them for thee; and then discharg'd a whole vol∣ley of kisses on him: those being over, she talk'd to him again. My dear Husband, I'le tell thee what I just now dreamt: Methought I heard your man open your maids Chamber door, and talkt of things not fit to be spoke; being throughly vext my House should be made a Brothel by your Ser∣vants, I endeavoured to rise to prevent them in their Roguery, struggling to get up, and feeling for thee to tell thee what I was going about, I could not find thee in the Bed; this so strangely did sur∣prize my mind, that through fear, vexation, and I know not what, I instantly awoke, and glad I am that it is but a Dream, and that I have thee in mine Arms.

These actions and expressions clearly convinc't him that he was in an errour, and that she which

exprest so many indearments, and which had so stricktly shackled him within her arms, was his Mistress.

At first he was almost dead with fear, but ha∣ving recollected his scattered Spirits, and bethought himself of this stratageme to preserve himself from discovery, all passages that ever he observed be∣tween his Master and Partners Wife came fresh in∣to his mind, and from all the circumstances con∣cluded that they were now consummating their loves. and that if he could but refrain from speak∣ing, he doubted not but that she would fall asleep again, and so have the opportunity of stealing a way, to be as good as his promise.

But jealously in her dream had so kindled her fire, that abandoning for that time the becoming modesty of her Sex, she grew so impatient of de∣lays, that he found himself incapable of resisting those emotions she had rais'd within him, but suf∣fer'd himself to be taught by her those Love-les∣sons, were designed him by another Love-School Mistress; she had so warm'd her Cashier, that had he been Marble, or a Mysanthropos, a mortal ene∣my to Mankind, he must have then laid aside his innate hate and emnity to be reconcil'd to such a loving Enemy.

This Combat lasted a long time without any considerable advantage perceivable on either side, but being equally tired, they both willingly sound∣ed a retreat. And now it was time for her to con∣sider that these embraces were more vigorous and fierce than such which are the attendants to a Marriage-bed, unusually accompanied with such frequent Repetitions: Besides his conti∣nued silence all this while did strangely startle her, which with the former, gave her sufficient

grounds to suspect she was mistaken in her Bed∣fellow.

The poor foundred Cashier was in a peck of troubles, not knowing how to get out of that La∣byrinth he had casually wound himself into; each minute he dreaded his Masters apprehending him in bed with his Mistress, and what punishment could he expect less than his Masters Dagger plung'd to the hilts in his traiterous breast; here∣upon an universal Palsie seized upon every Limb, but this trepidation of his joynts, his Mistress fa∣vourably interpreted the product of his past de∣lights, or of desire of enjoying more, and not at all the effect of fear.

After a thousand distracting cogitations, the Cashier having weigh'd each particular in the bal∣lance of his green understanding, considered that it might be of a dangerous consequence to ask pardon of his Mistress for what had past between them, and then again to rise when his Mistress was asleep without discovering to her the mistake, would the next day undoubtedly betray the whole matter, by her petulancie, or some little toying and wanton discourse between her and his Master; and who knows not but that she might too amply acknowledge his gratitude for his late supposed works of Supererrogation, which might give him cause to conclude (as it was but just) that his man had suppli'd his last nights absence, for none other in the family could be suspected. The ap∣prehension of danger from the discovery of a se∣cret of this great importance, did put him in so great a confusion, that it was not to be judg'd which was greater, the pleasure he had obtain'd, or the trouble and fear he underwent in the pur∣chase thereof. Whilest his thoughts were ingaged

in this perplexity a stratagem bolted into his head, which in all probability might remedy all; and thus it was, he resolved to take no notice of any thing she uttered saving the Dream, making her believe that he thought himself in bed with Susan and none else, and therefore (grumbling a little first) he thus spoke:

Prethee, my Dear, what didst thou mean by that Dream thou told'st me, the matter I value not, but 'tis the manner of telling it troubles me; thy language therein was more like my Mi∣stress than my Love; Why dost thou call me Ser∣vant whenas I intend to be thy Husband? But I will not chide, since I did not think to have been so favourably received by thee; and since I find thy love cordial (speaking to her with a Kiss) were I interrupted from thy embracements, by the interposition of an Arm of the Sea, wider and more dangerous than that loving Leander once too often crost swimming to see his sportive Hero, I would do it with as much alacrity and willingness as for striding a Brook obtain a Lordship. Dear∣est, said he, what is the matter? Why so silent? Fear nothing, our Mistress, poor Gentlewoman, is fast asleep, she like an harmless innocent little dreams of the ingratitude and treachery of her la∣scivious Husband, who is now at this very nick of time in the height of his enjoyments with Mrs. Saleware. At these words she became more sur∣priz'd and amaz'd than ever Alcmene was of old, af∣ter Jupiter had enjoy'd her in the shape of Am∣phitreo.

But seeing there was no remedy for so strange an Accident which had made her break her Mar∣riage-Vow, she comforted her self in that the fault, if it was any, was not design'd by her, but all the

guilt ought to lie on her disloyal Husband; and indeed I know not how that can properly be cal∣led a fault which was done unwittingiy; besides, she could not but applaud the Justice of Heaven, punishing him in the same manner he had abused others. Mrs. Tradewel was somewhat loath to part with the Company of her new Bed-fellow, but reason perswaded her to it for the avoiding dan∣ger, wherefore slipping a Diamond-ring off her finger she convey'd it into the hands of her Ser∣vant, saying in a very low voice, if you are dis∣creet hug in silence your good fortune, otherwise you shall find a reward sutable to your babbling folly.

Hereupon without replying a word, he got out of the Bed, and passing by the Chamber of his poor cheated Susan, he entred into his own, and went to sleep; how and in what manner she took and revenged this intollerable affront, I shall anon give you a farther account.

Mr. Tradewel had not been in bed with his be∣loved Saleware above two hours, but that Mr. Saleware being return'd from France, and land∣ing at Gravesend, took a pair of Oars and came straight away for London with an affectionate de∣sire to have a speedy sight of his intirely beloved Wife, and about one a Clock landed at Billings∣gate, and thence with all speed went to his Habi∣tation; where coming he knock at the back-door for the convenience of speedy entrance, the Skul∣ling-boy lying just over the Gate, and so soon got in, making the boy to strike a light, and with it went directly to his Chamber, where these two Lovers were more intangled with each other than Mars was by the craft of Vulcan with the Cyprian Goddess. He knockt at the door two or three

times, but his Wife being other wayes employed then to come out of a warm bed and indanger of catching of cold, was as mute as a fish, neither could she in Reason speak till the business she was about was consummated; but he without repeat∣ing his knocks, she was forced at length to ask, who was there, in words imperfect, as just disturb'd out of a profound sleep. It is I, said her Hus∣band. Who are you, she repli'd. 'Tis I, your Husband, said Saleware, don't you know my voice? She thus capitulated with him that she might have time to abscond her Lover; the sud∣denness of the surprize would not permit her to consult long about it, neither was there any o∣ther place of security, but underneath the Bed; which Tradewel was forc't to crawl under; that being done, seemingly in great haste she ran to the door, speaking as she went, My Soul, O my dearest Heart, art thou return'd? The most welcome man to me in the world; whil'st she thought in her heart what envious Devil brought thee hither at this juncture of time, thus to obstruct my early joys?

The door being opened, Mr. Saleware entred in, and as he was about to run and catch her in his arms, the sight of her in a manner naked, display∣ing her delicate Breasts, put him to a stand that he might please his eyes before he feasted his other sen∣ses; this small time of absence had given him new appetite, and so impatient he grew, that he thought undressing himself to be the way about and too long for the renewing his delight, and therefore would have cut it shorter; but she which already had had the satisfaction of a more vigorous and active subject, knew how to defend her self against the weak assaults of an impotent

Husband: to qualifie him, for the present the de sir'd him to have patience, if not, he might be in∣strumental in bringing her into some dangerous Distemper, by catching cold coming sweating out of a warm bed. This perswasion made him the more hasty to go to bed, his Wife in the mean time considering with what difficulty her Gallant almost starv'd with cold) must creep from under∣neath the bed to acquit himself of the Chamber, and the danger of staying longer in it, and withal knowing how impossible it would be to steal from her Husband, or if she did, the creaking of the door might betray her, she suddenly pumpt out of her invention, a pretty device to blind her Hus∣band and secure her friend: Womens wits are ever most ready at a push in the greatest straights.

As her Husband was making himself unready, she caught him about the neck, saying, hold, hold, my dear Heart, prethee let's drink a glass of Wine for joy of thy return, I have half a dozen bot∣tles which were lately sent me as a present, the best thou didst ever taste of in all thy life, prethee step down into the Cellar, there is but one left, it stands in the farthest corner of the Cellar: with all my heart, said her Husband; in order to his going down he reputs on his Doublet, and having button'd it by halves, he stands up to look for his shooes which he had carelesly dropt off his feet, but could find but one, the other it seems tumbled under the bed where Tradewel lay, he be∣gan to grope with his hands underneath the Bed, which had like to have frighted our Inamorata and and his Mistress out of their wits; but seeing his search was in vain, he went to the Table to fetch the Candle, the wife seeing this, lept nimbly out of Bed and pretending to be angry for his stand∣ing

so long barefoot on the cold ground, snatcht the Candle out of his hand, saying, is it possible, Husband, that you should be thus long looking for your shooe and not find it? Come, you shall stand no longer on the bare bords, I'le rather suf∣fer than you; and thereupon lookt for the shooe where she knew it was impossible to find it. The Husband seeing his wife thus walk up and down barefoot, in a great passion told her, that unless she was resolv'd to be accessary to her own death, she would not do as she did; therefore, said he, let me command you to go to your bed, and do not expose your tender body to those injuries which accompany a cold winter season.

Let any one judge whether Mr. Tradewel were not in a sweet pickle at the hearing of these words, and Mrs. Saleware was at her wits ends, thinking now there was no hope of using any other falla∣cie, concluding the best Inventions in this case barren, and that it lay not in the power of the sharpest and craftiest wit to find out a way that may deliver them from this imminent dan∣ger.

Now did Mr. Saleware in a seeming rage ad∣advance to snatch the Candle from his Wife; she pretending to prevent him, with an over-officious care not to put him to the trouble, seemed to flumble (in her starting back) at the foot of the Table, and thereby fell, and by her fall extinguisht snuff and and all; whil'st her Husband was gro∣ping for the Candle, with all speed she got to the bed to advise Tradewel that this was the time, if ever, to make his escape undiscovered, she durst not speak, and therefore she did thrust her arm underneath the Bed and caught him by the foot; Tradewel thinking that the hand he felt was that

of him he had so injur'd, and therefore now did justly fear, knew not what to do, thinking it was to little purpose to endeavour his further conceal∣ment, and judged he had no means left but to crawl out upon all four, and in that posture con∣fessing the whole matter, beg pardon of his injur'd friend; but perceiving that the person that held him by the foot pull'd him but gently, without the utterance of one word, he alterr'd his resolution, knowing it must be his Friend; after this she found the shooe and gave it her Husband, who by this time had found the Candle, which she fear'd he had given to the Devil to light, and now she en∣treats him afresh to go down into the Kitching, and light the Candle (there being always some fire all night long) and thereby fulfil her request; Saleware by the charming perswasions of his sub∣tle wife, condescended to every thing she desir'd; he was no sooner gone, but she hastned her Gal•• lant with all speed imaginable out of the Cham∣ber; who seeing himself freed and at liberty was the joyfullest man living, notwithstanding he was so benumm'd with cold that he lookt like the third Son of Ice-icle Winter, his shirt (by removing himself on this side and that, for his better secu∣rity) was so black by rubbing the boards, that he lookt like a Small-Coal-man, and his Hair, which like Lime-twiggs had ensnared the Fea∣thers underneath the bed, made his head appear more like an Owls than a Common-Councel∣mans; and which was worse, he had so bepist himself by the fright he was in, that he stunck like a Polecat. In short, his looks were so ghastly, and his face so pall'd and wan, that the most rational would have taken him for a Spectre or Phantasm, so strange was his Metamorphosis in time of this

short though sharp Purgatory; but all this was nothing to what he suffered by his Cashier; one nights repose would resettle him and restore his former quietude and serene temper, but the injury he sustain'd in the abuse of his Wife was remedi∣less: Besides had he been discovered by his Part∣ner, who knows the dangers that jealousie and re∣venge might procure to prosecute an act so foul and so ingrateful: The mischiefs are innumera∣rable they run themselves into, who slighting Heaven by contemning the good Laws of man, are led away by their brutish appetites and inordinate sensuality.

Consider then again, how blind and irrational some are who having wives whose beauties may dispute for eminencie with the choicest of the Creation, whose discretion, modesty and pru∣dence was never call'd in Question by any foul miscarriage, whose honesty and nuptial fidelity is as spotless white as innocence her self; yet I say, these very men regarding neither the Laws of of God nor Nature (More ferarum Quadrupe∣dumque) by invading other mens rights, endeavor their satisfaction with such whose Persons, Wit, Beauty and Behaviour fall as short of that which adorns their own faithful Companions, as the splendour of the serene Sun outshines the gloo∣miness of an eclipsed Moon. In short, men should forbear entertaining such loose and unlaw∣ful desires, if not for the sake of Heaven, yet for the love they ought to bear to their health and honour: But to return where we left.

Tradewel, thus pickled in dust, feathers, and u∣rine, durst not approach his own bed, but thought it very expedient to go to the Chamber of his Ca∣shier, but before he could come at it he must pass

by his Maid Susans Chamber-door, who had not clos'd her eyes in all that time by reason of her longing desire of enjoying her Friend. Impatient of waiting longer she had got out of Bed, and ha∣ving slipt on her Petticoat, she was going out with an intention of going to visit her faithless Friend, at the same time her Master came tripping down the stairs from Mr. Saleware; by a little glimme∣ring light she perceived somewhat in white, at first sight she was somewhat affrighted suggesting that this might be some Spirit, had undoubtedly screekt out, had she not presently bethought her self that in all probability this was her unfaith∣ful Friend who had slighted her for a more excel∣lent beauty above, and was now return'd from those petulant delliances which properly belong'd to her by Oaths, Vows, & Protestations, imboldned with the consideration hereof, she seiz'd suddenly on his shirt as he was passing by, and not regard∣ing the propinquity of her Mistresses Chamber to hers, in these terms she upbraided him, O Sir, have I caught you, are these the fruits of your last nights Promises, can the current of your love so soon run in another Channel? Base perjur'd man, so quickly to relinquish that, for which I must for e∣ver languish.

Tradewel concluded himself surprized by his Wife, and thought she had by her vigilancie dis∣covered this amorous complotment, and being conscious of his own guilt, he endeavoured after this manner to appease the just anger of his in∣jur'd Wife: Dearest, I have offended, let my peni∣tent Confession plead the remission of a fault I ne're was guilty of before. To which she repli'd: The first is a Crime of so high a nature, it can never be forgiven. What violate your Maiden-Obligation and

me who never yet knew man, nor never would know any but for your sake, to whom I'me bound by pro∣mises extorted by you from me? Why, did you pro∣mise only to delude? Could you not finde some o∣ther way to abuse me, but by this the most insuffe∣rable?

Tradewel (finding his mistake) soon banisht his fear, and perceiving what had past between his Maid and man, made the discovery of their folly his own advantage; for presently, as if he had known her from the first interview, thus spake: Well Susan, I never thought you a light Huzzie till now, I had ever too good an Opinion of your honesty by your seeming modest deportment, but for the future I shall banish such good thoughts, so undeserved by you. Get you to your Bed, I shall speedily find out some way that shall prevent Night-Walkers in my house from such like sensual meetings; you may now take your rest to night for you are not like to rest here much longer; but let this be your comfort, I will go instantly to mine and your faithless Servant, and enquire of him what was his reason that he violated that (Sacred) Promise he made, and thus basely dis∣appointed you in your first fruitions. Having ut∣ter'd these words he left her, but in a condition so distracted, that she knew not what to nor what to think.

Tradewel eoming to the door where his Cashier lay, found it lockt, whereupon he softly knockt; the Robber of his Honour (who could not sleep for contemplating on what had casually part be∣tween his Mistress and himself) askt who was there: By the answer return'd, he knew his Ma∣ster was without: Instantly his guilty Conscience flew into his face, accusing him of what he had so

lately done, and now verily believed that in often∣tation his Mistress had told her Husband how luc∣kily (though not wittingly) she was reveng'd of his base disloyalty, and that his Master not know∣ing how to wreak his revenge on her was come to discharge it on him. As Vice is commonly the Ori∣ginal of fear, so he who is afraid ever suspects the worst.

In short, fear had so universally possest him, that there was no room left for one rational con∣sideration; all courage had forsaken this acci∣dental offending Smell-smock, and the expectati∣on of his ensuing punishment had stew'd him in a a cold sweat, or rather was dissolving him into one of the Elements of his first composition; you could not now call him Man, but the Decoction thereof (Neither was mans limbs so shak'd with the cold fits of a Quartan Ague, as this same quaking jelly was by his panick fear; sometimes he thought to leap out of the Window, & adven∣ture an arm or a leg rather than run the hazard of losing — he knew not what; altering that resolution, he thought it better to cast himself on his knees at the feet of his Master, confessing his (not purposed) fault, and implore his pardon; with this resolution, he opened the door, and see∣ing by the light of the Moon (which was just then risen) the pallid and bloodless hue of his shive∣ring Masters face, looking more like that of a Con∣jurer than one transported with a jealous passion, recollected himself and took courage to speak to him. Tradewel seeing his man in so great a con∣fusion, could not but smile to himself, asking him what was the matter? O Sir, said he, your low trembling voice from without, and your frightful appearance within hath so disordered

me with fear, that I am like one besides him∣self.

Although Tradewel was in his shirt half starv'd with cold could not forbear laughing, nor would he lose the pleasure of discoursing with his man at present, although he was sure his body would suffer for it by some distemper hereafter. Come Sirrah, said he, these pretences shall not serve your turn, I know your dissimulation, and your subtle pra∣ctices, I know what contract you made with my maid, how, and when you were to meet, though you disappointed her, but that was, because you were afraid of my detecting your Roguery, know∣ing this night I watcht your appointment to prevent further mischief.

The Cashier was all wonder and amazement; he could not imagine who should discover his dark designs, unless the Devil had don't by declaring himself his profest Enemy: it was but a folly to suspect one or the other, or to blame any; it was now only expedient to make confession and ask forgiveness, which as soon as he had done, his Ma∣ster granted him his request, with this Proviso, he should never attempt the like again. But hold, said Tradewel, there is something more to be said and done, and that is help me to one of your clean shirts, and whatever you think, speak not a word, as you tender your own welfare; let it suffice, that I tell you thus much, that I have been upon other Discoveries this night than barely your lascivious appointment, but what they are, they must be secret to you.

The Cashier got him presently a clean shirt, the sooner to be rid of his Company, which as soon as Tradewel had put on, he return'd to his own Chamber, lying down by his Wives side, with

as little noise as the gliding of a Snake over a smooth Marble; she was in a profound sleep, as one extremely tired, making it appear by her (un∣usual) snoring, the pleasure she took in sleeping, and that she had travell'd that night every whit as far as her Husband. Yet though Tradewel was as cautious as might be of awakening her, yet he could not avoid the tumbling of her legs to and fro, agitated by some pleasant fancies in her dream, which falling on his (as cold, as if they had been pickled in snow, and laid on the Alps a whole Winter) made her suddenly start out of her sleep, no less tormented with that extreme cold, than others with the contrary Element; Tradewel shrunk from her, and she pursued him, laying her hands on his face, breast, and thighs, and dissembling her knowledge of his absence: My Dear, said she, what means this strange and unu∣sual coldness? Art well? Prethee strike a light, I am confident that something is amiss; to which he replied, that he was in good health, and that his coldness proceeded from the bed-cloaths tum∣bling off. That cannot be, said she, the Bed∣staffs would hinder any such thing; and then lay∣ing her hands all about him, said she, is it possible you can be so universally cold, and in a warm bed with a warmer Bed-fellow, come abscond the truth no longer, and what e're it be, discover it, and I will not be offended. If then you'l know the truth, Sweet-heart, said he, I have of of late su∣spected some irregular practices between my Ca∣shier and my maid Susan, and this night I was resolved to try whether I could detect them; to which she suddenly and smartly replied, I now must detect you: Is it not sufficient that you have a wife not loaded with years, her face not deform'd, her body

fruitful, and her heart faithful, but that you must intrench on other mens proprieties? Surely Mr. Sale∣ware and you becoming Copartners, it was not in∣tended you should go Partner in his Wives Com∣modities: Could any man in the world prove so un∣grateful to two at once, one that he should love be∣yond the world, a wife, the other which he should affect the next thereto, a Friend? Would you be serv'd so your self?

Tradewel had not a word to say in his own vin∣dication, but pleaded guilty to all that was al∣ledg'd against him, earnestly beseeching his Wife she would pass all by, and he would never com∣mit the like again; upon that condition she for∣gave him, and the sooner, as knowing she was no loser by his infidelity.

The morning approaching, Mr. Saleware came and caressed his Partner, thanking him for the tender care he had of his Wife in his absence, and that they both were much obliged to him for his love; Complements past on all sides, and a gene∣ral seeming satisfaction did o'respread the faces of them all, and now every one betook himself to his proper business: Only Susan could do no bu∣siness at all, because her business was not done; she could not rest satisfied till she had singled out her false Lover; and therefore quickly found an opportunity, she first acquainted him with the greatness of her love, and how it was abused by him; and to be short, if he would not tell her the whole truth of the occasion of this breach of pro∣mise, she would never indure him more. The Ca∣shier hearing this sad sentence, if he were not real in his Relation, and being re-inflam'd again with those adored eyes of hers, and her insinua∣ting pleasing language (forgetting his Mistresses

threats) he tels her the naked truth, informing her, that as he was coming with no other intent than to fulfil his promise to her, by a mistake en∣tring the wrong Chamber, he paid her due Tri∣bute to her Mistress, who was left alone by her ungrateful Husband, who was gone to enjoy Mrs. Saleware in the absence of her Husband, his Ma∣sters Partner.

Susan was ready to sink down to hear that in all probability she had utterly lost her Sweet-heart, knowing like a cunning Baggage, that now adays love is less prevalent than interest: but prethee said she, How did she receive thee? At first, she thought me to be her Husband, till she perceived how many Barrs I had out-thrown him, and find∣ing her mistake, she seem'd like a woman distra∣cted, complaining that her hitherto untaint∣ed Chastity was ruin'd, that I was a Villain, for being the Murderer thereof, and that she wondred with what impudence I durst approach her bed; I was forc't at length to vindicate my self from that bold attempt, to tell her what love I had for you, for the acccomplishment of which we had appointed that night to receive the pawn on each side of each others fidelity. And you have then, said she, discovered me to be the wonton subject of her censure and reproach: no matter, said he. When she understood that what was committed was by mistake, she seem'd satissi'd, and was thank∣ful to Heaven that this mistake had reveng'd her Husbands infidelity; then she charg'd me to be secret and be gone, and as a reward gave me this Ring; before I took my leave I enjoyn'd her to the same secrecie of our Amour. In the assu∣rance that this is a truth, I do forgive what's past, conditionally you ne'r enjoy your Mistress more.

Mr. Tradewel carried himself now very obli∣gingly to his Wife, and indifferently to his female Friend, and more than usual friendly to her Hus∣band, but continually quarrelling with his Maid Susan, to the intent that he might make her wea∣ry of his Service, and so be gone; she perceiving this, was resolv'd speedily to make Hay whilest the Sun shin'd, and knew no better way to bring about her ends, then to carry her self most charm∣ingly affectionate to her Friend, the Cashier, and to grant him every thing he desir'd; when he pleas'd he had the Command of her Bed, and dalliances with her where he pleas'd, and as often as he listed, and being now solely Regent over his affections (although now and then he accompa∣nied his Mistress (more to please her than him∣self) she resolved by his overthrow to raise her self; and thus she plotted it: Notwithstanding the frowardness of he•• Master towards her for her own benefit, she pretended a more than common respect to him, protesting more reallity of service than invention can well hammer out; making this her Prologue to her cunning design; she tells him, she knows that she was seduced, and led a∣way by the crafty allurements of his man, and that she could not but yield after so ma∣ny thousand Oaths and Vows of righting her wronged Virginity, that instead thereof, all his performances were continual slightings; and now at last inquiring strictly into the cause of this sud∣den alteration of his love, she suspected that it might be occasioned by the hopes he hath of his Mistresses love towards him, that she had some∣thing more than bare suspition to make mani∣fest what she said, and that in a little time, if he pleased, she doubted not but to make it appa∣rent

how inconsiderately his Wives love is mispla∣ced on her Servant.

Mr. Tradewel heard this with no small pertur∣bation of minde, however being willing to know the truth hereof, he promised her a reward if she would make him a speedy discovery thereof. In the prosecution whereof, one night when Susan had got the Cashier in bed with her, and having according to custome after tiring been used to sleep with her an hour or two (she being all this while his waking Centinel to raise him when it was time to return to his own bed) I say, she then took the opportunity of conveying two Keys out of his Pocket, the one of his Till, where his Masters Cash lay, the other of his Trunck, which contain'd his wearing Apparel, with other things properly belonging; She opens his Trunk first, by the help of a Candle she had placed un∣derneath her bed in a dark Lanthorn, and there finds the chiefest thing she lookt for, the Ring which his Mistress had given him as a pledge of her love, she found what she lookt for, and therefore lockt the Trunck again, without diminishing any thing therein contain'd, but the Ring. After this she trips down the stairs softly into the shop, and opening the Till, took out one hundred Guinny's, which was in a small bag by its self, and one hun∣dred pound bag of silver, locking the Till again, which money she hid in the Cellar, and so went up again to her own Chamber, putting the Keys into his Pocket, he not missing her all this while, being fast asleep. All things being effected with∣out the least remaining suspition, she awak't her Lover, telling him she had over-indulg'd his hu∣mour in letting him sleep so long, however she was well content to have no rest (and enjoy his

Company) so that he might have it; and so with a hug and a buss they parted.

In the morning early she got up, and taking the money she had hid (with an excuse of going but half a dozen doors off) she carried it off, and put it into the hands of a very trusty Friend of hers, and making very little stay, returns home.

By this time her Master was up, who found her as formerly, very diligent in the Kitching, and be∣ing alone, ask'd her, what further progress she had made in the discovery; I will tell you, said she, within an hour, if you will be sure to step out and be in again; in the mean time I will shew you a Ring, which your Wife gave her man; which by his knowledge thereof, increast his jealousie. He consented thereto, and she in the mean time steps up to her Mistress to know what she would be pleas'd to have for dinner: Ask your Master said her Mistress, forsooth, said she, he is gone (he told me as far as Blackwal, and it is questionable whether he can come to dinner. Blackwal, how can that be! send up the Cashier to me, he will give me better information where he is gone than you can; I will rise by and by, in the mean time I'le think what to have for Dinner.

Susan was over-joy'd her plot took so well, and indeed but according to her expectation; for she observ'd her Mistress always inquire where her Husband was, if gone out, how far, and then ac∣cording to the distance of place she knew how to imploy her time and exercise her self with her man. Coming down she did not go immedi∣ately to acquaint the Cashier with his Mistresses Command, but staid some time ere she told him, extracting from him at the same time Protestations of Constancie.

Up he goes to his Mistress, but he had not been there long, e're Tradewel came in, & being inform'd by Susan how affairs stood, he went softly up the stairs, and thrusting at his Chamber-door, he found it lockt; he knockt again and again, but no answer; till at last he spoke aloud, Open the Door, and that quickly too, or I'le force it open: Whereupon she came to the Door in her Smock, and did let him in; she needed not to have con∣fest what she had bad been doing, the disorder she was in, proclaim'd more than her tongue could utter.

Tradewel in a rage askt her where her Minion was; she was so amaz'd, she could not pronounce one sillable; hurried on with impatience, he searcht the room round, but found no body, till he lookt underneath the bed (the Mother would ne∣ver have lookt for her Daughter in the Oven, but that she had been there her self) and there he e∣spied his trusty Squire, having not room enough to kneel for pardon; as he was about to drag him out, his wife that had recalled her wandring spi∣rits, took heart-a-grace, and staying her Hus∣band by the sleeve, said, I pray Sir, be not too rash, consider it was your own case once, and were you not glad by the subtlety of a woman to escape that eminent danger which hung over your head, pray Sir, let this Patern or resemblance of your late Condition intercede for him; your Po∣litie availed you little in that streight, neither will his in this exigencie; you were preserv'd by your Mistresses wit and subtlety, he is undone by my indiscretion and folly, if you applaud the for∣mer commiserate the later.

These melting, yet biting expressions took Trade∣wel off from the height of fury, so that his Re∣venge

knew not how to terminate any otherwise than instantly to call his Cashier to an account about the Cash committed into his charge; and therefore charg'd him to be gone immediately to that intent and purpose.

The Cashier who was never call'd to an ac∣count before, by reason of the large security his Parents gave his Master for his fidelity, which gave the greater liberty to his credulity, in assisting his Brethren who had ran out of Cash, and being conscious how far he had ran out himself, it start∣led him almost as much as this unexpected sur∣prize; as he was going down the stairs a sudden resolution krept into his head to clear his ac∣counts and free himself from the approaching dan∣ger, he could not but in reason expect would sud∣denly fall upon him, by one single act, and that was forthwith to acquit his Masters house, and throw himself upon the guidance of Fortune, which accordingly he put in execution; for im∣mediately he got himself out of the doors with as much hast and fear, as one that had made his e∣scape from a common confinement or his Keeper; not carrying any thing more than what he had a∣bout him.

The News was soon brought to his Master Mr. Tradewel, who was not a jot troubled thereat, but rather rejoyc't that he was rid of a sharer in his Marriage-rights, knowing withal how to give him∣self satisfaction for what his Servant had ran out.

This coming to the ears of Susan, made her transported with joy, how fully her revenge was extended, and how well paid she was for the exe∣ecution thereof, being confident her Cheat could never in all probability be found out; besides her Master to reward her Treachery, vail'd with the

pretence of fidelity gave her fifty pieces, with a promise she might continue as long as she pleas'd in hi, house, with an augmentation of her Wages; she thankt him, and gave him only the hearing in∣tending to stay no longer than she might make some considerable purchase, and so march off.

In pursuance whereof, she singled out Mrs. Saleware at a convenient time, and discovered to her the knowledge of all those amorous Intrigues which past between her and her Master, instancing every remarkable particular, and laying it so home, that Mrs. Saleware could not but acknowledge them all truths by her silence; having wrought her Plot so far, she resolv'd to drive the nail home to the head for what it was designed for, and there∣fore told her, that the ruine of her credit lay at her disposal, but for her part she was so tender of the Reputation of her Sex, that she scorn'd to be a Traytor to its infirmities.

Mrs. Saleware that was apprehensive enough, and knew very well by the method of her discourse what she aim'd at; rold her, she lookt upon her more discreet than to make so great a distraction in a Family she belong'd to, by speaking of such things, which if known, the differences that would thence arise would never be reconcil'd; however said she, to seal your everlasting silence, accept these Guinneys, and my everlasting friendship, if not murder'd by your falshood, and so leaves her.

Susan carries this parcel to her former hoard of money, and not satisfied yet, was resolved to cast her net for more before she left fishing in this Pool. She now goes to her Mistress, and with tears (which she had always at Command) makes a sad Com∣plaint for the loss of her Love, telling her, that he

was betroath't to her, and had it not been for her disloyalty to her Husband, she might have en∣joy'd him still; but now he was past recovery, and though she had understood all those amorous En¦tertainments from his own mouth which were en∣joy'd between them, yet she rather choose to suffer in his love, than stain the credit of her loving Mistress; that all she required at present only was, that she would be pleas'd to revenge her on that dishonest, faithless, and lascivious woman, Mrs. Saleware, who was the source and original of all her troubles, for had she not (said she) consented to the lose embraces of your Husband, my Master, your Servant and my Husband that should be by a mistake in his absence, could never have obtain'd the opportunity of enjoying you by breaking his faith with me.

Mrs. Tradewel heard these Complaints with no small confusion and trouble of mind, but however to gratifie her own as well as her Servants re∣venge, she consented to do herein what she would advise her to. All that I request you to do, said Susan, is to acquaint her Husband how basely your Husband hath abused his Bed, but make him swear he will not discover one tittle you do relate to him; aggravate every circumstance in such manner, that you may make his jealousie swell beyond all sense and reason. This will put him up∣on strange extravagant abuses at first, each of which will be a tickling pleasure to see them exe∣cuted, and this in a little time also will be the means to rid your self of a Rival lodg'd within the bowels of all your concerns.

This advice was so well liked of by Mrs. Tradewel, that she could not rest till she had acquainted Mr. Saleware with this secret, which in effect was

none at all, being known to more than two. Mr. Saleware when he heard it was ready to run di∣stracted, and could hardly be perswaded but that he would either lay violently hands on himself or Wife immediately; but being qualified by his own reason, and such as Mrs. Tradewel produced, he deferr'd his revenge till another time Susan thinking she had done as mueh mischief as she could, resolv'd to be packing, and therein follow∣ed the example of the Rats (according to Re∣port) which will fly from a falling house: She took her opportunity, and getting together some of her Mistresses choice implements of gawdry, as a gold Watch, Pendents, Rings, a Neck-lace of Pearl, with other things of value, she tript off unsuspected, & absconded her self for a while. Not long after Mr. Saleware confest a Judgment, or Warrant of Attorney to a special friend of his, for more by much than his own stock or Partners Mr. Tradewels would amount to; which was his first revenge on his disloyal Friend, what reveng∣ing injuries he inflicted on his Wife, I cannot re∣late, only you may imagine what an abused Hus∣band will do in such a case, when prompted there∣to by jealousie and Revenge.

Mr. Tradewel looking on kis Wife as the occasi∣on of this desperate and irregular course, left her to the wide world, and went for Virginia, where he died, his wise in his absence being exposed to a great deal of misery, what through want and grief, died not long after.

Thus you see how suddenly two flourishing fa∣milies were brought to ruine by exorbitant lust and the subtilty of a revengeful woman; but this was but the beginning or infancie of her early Pro∣jects, thousands whereof in the progress of her

life she nommitted far more cotorious than any hi∣therto related, I have not room to describe them all, wherefore I shall briefly recount to you as ma∣ny as I may.

After her running away from her Master, she apparall'd her self as richly and as modishly as most of the female Gallants about the Town, and went by the name of Mrs. Craftsby, she took her lodging near to those places where the Gentry most resorted, where she not only learn'd the counter∣feit deportment of a Gentlewoman, but likewise by her Habit skrew'd her self into the acquain∣tance of such of her Sex, as were placed in the Spheres of Honesty and Honour.

She pretended her self the Relict of a Knight in Yorkshire, by which Lye she obtain'd the Ho∣nour of being called Madam, and the advantage of being Courted by men of good Estates, so ma∣ny and so importunate, that her Lodgings from morning to night were seldom clear'd from one or more amorous visitants; and although by the most fiery she was hotly beset, yet she would not surrender; till fearing she might withstand her better fortunes, she yielded to the importunities of a Gentleman well stricken in years, but one that had the best estate of all her Suiters. They were not long married, before the old Gentleman found her out what she was, not only a Cheat, but an insatiate Whore to boot, having now a Cloak for her unbridled Lechery; the knowledge whereof made a separation between them; how∣ever she sued for Alimony, and forc't from him a competent maintenance; she now no longer hid her self under the vail of seeming Chastity, but walkt with Vice barefoot every where; and now for profit as much as pleasure, she prostituted her

self to any thing that had money; nay, a Dog, if he had but a shilling in his mouth: By these la∣scivious excesses she was so often clapt, that she became a meer Hospital of Diseases, and was now no longer in a Condition to maintain the re∣putution of a handsome Whore, being metamor∣phosed into the likeness of a loathsome and de∣formed Bawd.

Yet still she had her Wits about her; and con∣sidering she could do nothing of her self, unless she procured some assistance of other; she trotted all the Town over to find out one fit for her pur∣pose; Pat as she would have it, going into a sin∣ning-house near Whetstones-Park, she found a young Plyer there, whose Countenance promised every thing she desired, and having discourst her, found her what she seem'd to be, and her own Niece: whereupon promising her greater advan∣tages than she could reap there, she allur'd her to her House, where as Partners they liv'd toge∣ther.

Her Name was Mistress Wheedle, a plump suc∣culent Girl, with a face no way contemptible, she had a quaint Wit, a charming Tongue, and an humour so brisk a••d gay, as if no other Elements but fire and Air had club'd to her composition; these attractions, and her petulant Deportment, drew on a number of Smell-smocks, which court∣ed her for that Trifflle which men so much covet to enjoy and women to be rid of; but she like a ••••nning Market-woman plotting to sell her Ware 〈◊〉〈◊〉 the best advantage, received them all with pro∣••••••ing Smiles, & dispensed the same indeared Ca∣••••••••es to every one. This brought her in a large Harvest of presents, and the better to draw them in, she would for such a Ring, Bracelet, or Neck∣lace,

&c. promise some Cully the great kindness; if they were loath to purchase sin at so dear a rate, she woul fall in her price, chosing rather to play at small game than sit out.

In a little time she was so generally known that she was compell'd to study new Artifices to allure in Customers, and those which she refus'd at first, she was now glad to acept of, so that the house became the receptable of all forts of Cullies; not only the Bleeding-Cully, but the Ruff-Cully, the Dark-Cully, the Flogging-Cully, and the Fen∣cing-Cully; in short, no persons how wicked soe∣ver (Whores, Rogues, Pads, Gilts, Files) but were her daily Companions.

This house at length grew so notoriously infa∣mous, that it was known and pointed at almost by every Boy which past that way. Hereupon the Justice takes Mrs. Craftsby the Bawd, to a severe account, and upon examination found her so guilty (not only for Bawdry, but all manner of Roguery, frequently entertaining such in her house, who being detected there, were afterwards hang'd) I say, for these considerations, the Justice made her Mittimus and sent her to Prison; Mrs. Wheedle having had timely notice hereof, made her escape, and soon after the commitment of her Partner, sold all she had, and not contented with this, she turn'd Night-Walker, whilest in the day∣time she exercised other Professions belonging to the ancient Society of Tyburn: Sometimes she plaid the part of a File, and did it with dex∣terity, even to admiration; she was a cleanly conveying Shop-lift, having a very large Pocket or Wallet underneath her under Petticoat, in which she would, cheapning Commodities in di∣vers Shops convey insensibly something of every

thing; but at last endeavouring to play the Girl in a Tavern with one of her Bully-Huffs, they were both discovered in the act, carried before a Justice, and by him sent to Newgate; at the en∣suing Sessions, Mrs. Craftsby the Bawd received the Sentence of Carting, Mrs. Wheedle and her Gallant, of being carted to Tyburn, where they ended their wretched lives, whilest the other li∣ved more hated than the last were pitied.

By this Story (which is a very truth) you may see the evil Consequences which heavily wait on Lust and such exorbitant actions; and therefore my advice is to all, that they imitate the Aegyptian Niceta, by sayling by the Scylla of carnal pleasure, and the Caribdis of incontinencie; and yet not endanger the Shipwrack of their Chastity; and I could with I knew how to teach you to drink out of Circes Cup, and not be converted into Swine; & how you may hear the Syrens sweet & charming voices, and not yet be not inchanted by them. The best Rules I can give you are contain'd in this Distich:

Otia, Mensa, Libri, Vaga, lumina Verba, Sodales, Hoec tolle, banc minue, hos muta, boec claude, hac fuge, vita hos. Sloath, Dainties, idle Fellows, wandring Looks, Shun with all speed, and change your wanton Books.

To begin with Idleness, Otia telle, be not unim∣ploy'd, for that is the fittest season the Devil hath to perswade thee to any thing that is evil; and therefore that man qui nil agit (which doth no∣thing) may be truly said, male agere, to do ill.

Otia si toll as peri••re Cupidinis are us Contemptoeque jacent & sine luce faces. Shun Sloth, and Cupids Bow thou'lt break And's Torch contemn'd will shine but weak.

Next Mensam minue, that is, pamper not your self by feeding too high. Adultery was never the Daughter of Temperance; Chastity ever lives more secure in low Cottages, than in sublime Pal∣laces.

Beware of obscene Books, as Drollery, wanton Poems, lascivious Stories, &c. Ovid himself, Loves-School-master, gives good advice, when he faith,

— Teneros ne tange Poet as.

And yet his Art of Loving, or rather his Art of Bawdry, with wanton Martial, lascivious Catull us, Tibull us and Propertius are taught in Schools pub∣lickly; wherefore

Ite mali versus animam qui perditis, ite.

Fourthly, Vaga lumina claude. Lust sometimes creeps into the Soul by a Kiss, or through the Ears, but chiefly through the Eyes. Hence proceeded that Law of Zeleucus, that punished Adultery by the loss of the eyes, as first promoter of that sinful Act.

— ruitque videndo.

Lastly, fuge Sodales, I mean shun only bad Companions. He that continually wallows with Swine in the mire, must expect to be in the same filthy condition. The Plague is not more spread∣ingly

Infections than ill manners. Example is e∣ver more prevalent than Precept, and one scabbed sheep will infect the whole flock.

— Sicut Grex totus in agris Ʋnius scabie cadit —

Wherefore he that is ingaged in a vitious Socie∣ty, let him forsake it, and he that is inconcern'd therein, let him have a care how he falls into it.

Hinc Niger est hunc, tu Romane c••veto.

Be of that mind that Apollonius Tyanaeus was of, when he desir'd the Gods, that they would give him such a discerning mind, as Noscere bonos, malos vitare, to know the good, and shun the bad.

To conclude, make other men your Example, lest you be made an Example to others.