Epictetus his Morals, with Simplicius his comment made English from the Greek, by George Stanhope ...

CHAP. XLVII.

Abstain from Familiarities with Women be∣fore Marriage, as much as possibly you can; at least, if you indulge your self in any Liberties of this kind, be sure to wrong no Man's Bed, nor transgress any Law. But how perfect soever your own Chasti∣ty may be, let not the Conceit of this make you troublesome to others that are more frail: And be not too lavish either in reproving their Failings, nor in Commen∣dation of your own Vertue.

COMMENT.

ABstinence from all kind of Bodily Pleasure hath this peculiar good Effect, that it con∣firms and invigorates the Rational Soul, and by the Experience of Conquests gained by single Acts, encourages it to exert it self in new At∣tempts, upon a Confidence that it is able to master the brutish and rebellious Appetites, and the Disorders of those Appetites are to be sub∣dued Two ways; by wasting the Habits of them, and keeping from frequent Repetiti∣ons of their several Acts; and by using them to submit to the Discipline of Reason. But the Vertue of Continence in the Pleasures of the Bed, which is a Species of the former, is of so much greater Benefit to the Soul, and deserves to be more highly esteemed, in proportion as

the Temptation is stronger, and the Con∣quest more difficult, and noble than the rest.

Now, although in this Case Reason be in∣formed and directed by Doctrines of Prudence and Morality, and also by positive Laws, ex∣cellently fitted for this purpose; and the Im∣petuous Sallies of the brutish Inclinations are check'd, and held in by this means; yet many Instances make it plain, That there is another Method of dealing with them. The Appe∣tites which lead us to all those Enjoyments that Sense is most fond of, notwithstanding they are natural to us, and very vehement in their Operations, may by good Management and Cu∣stom, be reduced, and vanquished by mild and gentle ways, and without any great Violence committed upon Humane Nature. Thus we see Persons, that have habituated themselves to Fasting and Abstemiousness, find no disturbance at all from the craving of their Appetites, but quite con∣trary feel themselves oppress'd and indisposed, if they allow themselves to eat either above their usual Quantity, or before their usual hour. And thus we find too, that Mens Ambition for the Olympick Crown, restrains all their Incli∣nations of another kind, while they are dieting for the Exercises; though Reason and common Sense will tell us, That the unreasonable quanti∣ty of Meat, which they are forced to take to nourish and strengthen them at such times, must needs raise those Desires, and render the Sollicitations of them more importunate than o∣therwise they would be. And we cannot with any good Grace all that Invincible, which for the

sake of a Sprig of Laurel is vanquish'd every Day. So also both Custom and Positive Law have utterly forbidden, That very near Relations should come together; and these Persons Incli∣nations, though infused into them by Nature, yet are almost incapable of being moved to∣wards one another, notwithstanding any the most engaging Charms of either Party; and whenever they are so, we look upon it as an extreme Un∣happiness, and particular Judgment. And the Consequence of this I take to be, That the Pas∣sion which can very hardly be provoked in one case, might with good Care be suppress'd in a∣nother.

Now that strict Chastity which is here requi∣red before Marriage, is very reasonable and just upon many Accounts; but it is particularly so upon this, That the Man may be upon equal Terms with his Wife, and give her the Satisfa∣ction of the same unblemished Vertue in his own Person, which he expects to meet with in hers. But (says he) if some Liberties must be taken, yet keep at least within the Compass which the Law allows: For all beyond that is impious and abominable, or else the Law would not have made a Difference, and fenced it in. Besides, it argues great Impotence, and an ungovernable Mind, to lay all this in common, and is of ill Example, and pestilent Consequence; for it hardens a Man's self, and emboldens others to

slight not only this, but all Laws whatsoever, when once the Authority that gave them Sanction is violated.

But how perfect soever your own Chastity may be, let not (says he) the Conceit of this make you trou∣blesome to others that have the Misfortune of being more frail. And be not too lavish, either in reproving their Failings, or in commending your own Vertue. This is very prudent and reasonable Advice; for such Reproaches cannot but be very harsh and grating, from Persons with whom we ordinarily converse; since we see how tenderly Humane Nature can bear Reproof, and that so very few can endure to be chidden, even by those who have a Right to do it, by Vertue of their Post and Authority. Now one great Reason, why even the softest Rebukes are generally so very ill resented, I take to be this; That so long as no Body tells us of our Faults, we please our selves with an Opinion, that they are concealed from all the World, and by degrees come to think no∣thing a Fault that is not known. And this again proceeds from a base principle of Hypocrisie and Ostentation: which makes the Opinion of the World a Rule for our own Judgment of our selves; and if we can but approve our selves to other Men, we are not much concerned whether we can do it or no, to the Truth; that is, to God, and to our own Consciences.

But if the Person that reproves us, do not only take off the Veil from us, but put it up∣on himself; and while he is exposing our Faults, exalt and proclaim his own Vertues, this aggra∣vates the provocation yet more: For at this ••ate he insults over us like a Conqueror, and up∣braids

our Weaknesses, and makes the Compa∣rison, only that we may look a great deal less, and serve as Foiles for his Merit. And what can be more unequal than this, that our Competitor should be our Judge?

Besides, such haughty Rebukes and invidious Comparisons, are not only injurious to the per∣son designed to be lessened by them, but even to the Author himself; for they swell his Mind with Pride, and confirm him in his Insolence and Vain glory; they corrupt all his Reproofs, and incline him to correct other mens Miscarria∣ges, not so much out of any desire to reform them, as to raise his own Reputation by sinking that of others: And he who hath once discove∣red such base indirect Designs, must never ex∣pect to have his Reproofs heard with any Pa∣tience, or to work any Good by them: For he gives a man the fairest Opportunity in the World to excuse his Folly, by laying hold on the odious Comparison. And if he can but re∣turn this Answer, That less is expected from him, He for his part is no Philosopher; and therefore his Failings are no great Matters, he thinks his Repro∣ver effectually silenced, and himself sufficiently vindicated.

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Notes

• This is to be understood of the Heathen Countries only where Simple Fornication was not prohibited by any Hu∣mane Constitution; but the Christian have reformed that Abuse.