The mistaken husband a comedie, as it is acted by His Majesties servants at the Theatre-Royall / by a person of quality.

SCEN. I. A Ship or Gunroom.

Learcut, and the Boatswain, Duke Watson.

Learcut.

I'le give thee a Tenement of four pound, per annum and let me go to Land again.

Boat.

I'd rather lie 'ith Bilbows, then in such a Hovel; it can∣not be so convenient as a Hammaque.

Learcut.

I'le give thee Cheese to Victual thy whole Family for a Twelve moneth, though every soul were Welch.

A whole Tun of Butter to mollifie thy stony Bisket, and twenty new stampt spankers tied up 'ith corner of a Handkerchief.

Boat.

Your Cheese is mouldy, and your Butter fusty, your old Shop-keepers stick friend.

Lear.

What temper is this fellow made on!

Aside.

This would have wrought me t'have sold my Father to the Turks I must bid higher yet, I'le give thy Wife a water'd Chamlet Petticoat, Lac'd with embroider'd Sattin; a Gold wedding Ring for every Finger, no body shall take for less then a Midwife, she shall have a rough Demicastor with a Sugar-loaf crown; Coifs and Cross-cloaths numberless, a Silver Bodkin to rectifie her stairing hairs; new Neats-leather Shooes that creak, and murrey Worsted Stockings.

Boat.

You may as soon bribe Tempests, or with your entrea∣ties calm rageing Seas, as tempt me.

Lear.

Think the Land you see on either side to be a meer ap∣parition. Your sole shall not touch ground till you are in Bermudas. If profit will not move, let pitty stir you. Let not these gray hairs Be subject to the mercy of a drunken, Or domineering Planter.

Boat.

These hairs I reverence, that the honour I pay to them may be return'd to me, When age shall make mine such. But, Old man, your extortions have degraded you. Had you shewn pitty to the Needy Widow, Y'had here not wanted it: But to your Cabbin, see if you can sleep on't.

Lear.

Set me a Shore, I'le make thee my heir.

Boat.

Alas! Sir, I am too old to believe the promises of men In distress, I am a Seaman, and have been in a storm.

They go out.

Boatswain and Salteel.

Boat.

This was a kind Visit indeed to come aboard, y'are wel∣come to the Masters Cabbin, Captain, were he here himself, I know he'd make very much of you; for he's an old Seaman, and loves one with his life.

Salt.

Honest Boatswain, thank thee; I read thy kindness in thy eyes, before I heard it from thy mouth.

To them Swabber with a basket of Bisket, and a Bottle of Wine, Tobacco, Pipes and Match.

Boat.

Noble Captain, once more, welcome; Here's good Wine aboard, and white Bisket, in to the Cook Boy, quickly, Bid him put some Beef in the Stew-pan.

Salt.

I see it, and I taste it now.

Boat.

What we have given for such in Algiers.

Salt.

Nothing, for we had no money, had not you made your Escape, you might have staid as long as I.

Boat.

I hope we shall be able to requite their courtesies one day. I wear their mark yet.

Shews his arm, and Anchor on it.

Salt.

I believe, you had but little faith in the Hieroglyphick. When they Printed it, that Anchor represented you but slender hopes of your redemption.

Boat.

No, for each flook of it put me in mind how fast I was moor'd there.

Salt.

But you took an occasion to Cut the Cable.

Boatswain Drinks.

Bat.

Yet I was strong enough to bring the Anchor with me.

Salt.

I stay'd till mine was weigh'd (I do you reason)

Drinks.

Boat.

T'other spoonful, noble Captain.

Salt.

Here's to your boon Voyage.

Drinks.

Boat.

I pledge you.

Drinks.

Salt.

Whither are you bound,

They take Tobacco.

Boat.

For Bermudas.

Salt.

Would I had never known't !

Boat.

Had you any great loss on that shoar,

Salt.

Yes, such a one as I shall never recover.

Aside.

I lost a quiet Conscience. What store of Passengers have you aboard?

Boat.

Very few yet, but we keep our Spirits hungry, and they are seeking prey in all quarters.

Salt.

How goes the Market now?

Boat.

Faith low, a Crown a pole. Fling out a rope, fling out a rope.

Salt.

Who the Divel are those coming aboard tro? Boy what are they? A Searcher come with a Warrant to Search The Ship.

Boat.

Noble Captain, pray step upon the Deck, and hold 'em in discourse over a Bottle until I give the word.

Salt.

'Tis the least service I can do you.

Goes out.

Boat.

But it is greater it may be, then you think of, what if they should come to search after this old fellow? Then there's a Ship clearly lost, I must tack about to gather wind, or I shall be driven backwards, now let me prove an able Pilot, or my designs sink, where are you, Mate?

Opens the Scuttle.

What think you of a little Fresh-air, give me your hand Father.

He pulls up to him Learcut.

Laercut.

Do you mean to air me that I may keep sweet? Or 'ist your plot I should see earth, and not to enjoy it, but to curse the want of it.

Boat.

No, but to seat you in't if you'l be wise; the last Confe∣rence I had with you has struck a deep Impression on me, and so wrought me that could I see a probability you would perform what then you promised me, you should be free as I, within two hours.

Learcut.

Art thou in earnest?

Boat.

Were you in earnest when you promis'd me to make me your heir.

Learcut.

Yes, by —

Boat.

Nay, do not swear, but set your hand and seal to what I write here.

Writes.

Lear.

I, I'le subscribe any thing. I'le sign any Covenants, but never perform any

Aside.

And if he sues, I'le plead per Minas to it.

Boat.

Here Sir.

Gives Learcut a Paper, he reads.

I do promise to adopt Iohn Whistler my Son, and settle my estate on him within these ten daies.

Boat.

That's all.

Lear.

A trifle, then here I sign and seal. Dull blockhead! He forgets witness too

Aside.

This will never hold.

Boat.

Well Sir, no this is done; I'le be better then my word. I'le let you see, although I am your heir, I thirst not for for your death, I'le save your life, Sir,

Lear.

Am I design'd to death then?

Boat.

Without remedy, unless you take my Councel.

Lear.

Honest Son!

Boat.

Here will immediately a company of Ruffians come, pretending they are Officers (although in truth they are disguis'd Rogues, hir'd by the Master to sound if you would me seek for the help of any you thought could free you from this prison.

Lear.

O Villains!

Boat.

They'l set a face of searching the Vessel from the Keel to the Top-gallant, and it may be they will blurt out some que∣stions to entrap you; but if you speak the smallest word, or think too lewd a Fellow with a butchers knife.

Lea.

Were ever such things heard of! Twenty per Cent. is no∣thing to't.

Boat.

Wee'l pair your weazand to the coar without any mercy.

Lear.

How happy am I that thou art honest I'le warrant 'em. Il not speak a word to 'em, I'le breath as softly as I can too.

He fixes his eyes on the ground.

Boat.

They come now, be wise, what would you have? come upon the Quarter-deck here.

To them Salt-eele, Snip and Watchmen.

Snip.

The child was in none of those bottles we tasted was it neighbour?

1

No sure, for the Wine tasted very sweet.

2

And the bottle did not smell of Chamber-lie.

3

Pray Mr. Constable lets make haste, for I begin to be Sea-sick.

Snip.

My Stomack wambles too.

He spies Learcut.

God bless us Neighbour! The Devil in the shape of old Mr. Lear.

1, 2, 3.

Ah, ah where is he, Mr. Constable?

Snip.

Oh, there, there, there, neighbours I think none of us can say our prayers, but I am sure we can all run.

Snip and the Watch goe out.

Salt.

What hast they make! there's o••e of 'em tipt over into the River.

Boat.

It may be he hath need on't.

Salt.

His Comrades take little notice of it, for they are put∣ting off without helping him. Oh the fellow has got hold of an Oar, and will not part with it, I'le go down to the Forecastle and keep sight of 'em as long as I can.

Exit Salteel.

Boat.

Content. What chear?

Lear.

Are they all gone?

Boat.

Gone, Yes.

Lear.

Shall we ashoar?

Boat.

Yes.

Lear.

Is the Boat ready?

Boat.

Some three or four months hence it shall be to set you a shore in America.

Lear.

Did you not promise Liberty to me, If I would sign a Writing I deliver'd.

Boat.

Yes, I did so.

Lear.

You talkt another kind of Language then.

Boat.

Yes, but my meaning was the same as now.

Lear.

Why, did you make me hope, but to despair?

Boat.

Truth, there was much necessity for it, which you'l be apt to believe, when I tell you when these Searchers came aboard,

I fear'd they had made some discovery of you, by some words you might let slip; wherefore I did apply that promise finely guilded for a preventing Pill.

Lear.

Thou hast not only then deluded me, but lost thy self by't, if thou dost not yet perform it look but what an estate, I make thee heir of at least an hundred thousand pounds.

Boat.

There take your meat again, do not I know men in ne∣cessity are alwaies prodigal of promises? but once escap'd the storm, the Saint to whom they vow'd is laught at.

Lear.

Well, Heaven thou art just! for when I made

Aside.

this promise I resolv'd to break it, and therefore I am paid in my own coyn, do but yet shew thy mercy in my deliverance, and here I vow a punctual observation of all promises I e'er shall make, though never so disadvantagious to me.

To them Underwit.

Boat.

Noble owners, welcome aboard, now Sir you may beat your bargain with them, the old man and I have been bartering for his liberty, by the Mass he bids high.

Vnder.

Would you be out of the Ship?

Lear.

Yes any where else.

Vnd.

Why, be but patient till we come to the Ocean; wee'l fling you over board, and tie a good Cannon Bullet about your neck instead of a Gold Ring in your ear.

Boat.

Or what think you of being turn'd loose in a half Tubb, or a Wash-bowl, like a baited Cat.

Vnd.

Yes, you shall have your freedom— but you shall serve for it some fourteen years among the flax-dressers in the Summer-Islands, exercise will get you such a stomack, Sir.

Lear.

Is there no hope of ransome?

Boat.

Yes, by sneaking out of the world to take a Nap with your Forefathers.

Vnder.

Come I interpose, and on condition you'l be tractable, I'le prevail with this Gentleman, Sign those Articles.

Lear.

Any.

Boat.

He that is so precipitate in signing any, in my opinion resolves never to keep any, though he huddle on now, hee'l put on his spectacles, I fear, when he should perform 'em.

Lear.

To clear that scruple I will swear performance, And if I fail may he whom I invoke —

Boat.

There's a necessity in believing him, yet still I doubt.

Vnder.

Do not, who knows his space, dyet may have caused much mortification? shall I read 'em to you?

Lear.

With all my heart.

Vnderwit reads.

That you pay the Eight thousand pounds left to Mrs. Manly by her Grand-father with interest to this day to her Husband, that you bestow on me and the rest of my friends two thousand pounds for taking the pains to make you just and honest, that such as have had any hand in your Cure shall pass undamaged by any Suits from you, and indempnified from the rigour of any Laws, in Condition of which we will make restitution of all we have taken from you, together with your Liberty.

Lear.

These are but reasonable, I assent to 'em, Nay more, I thank you, and shall reckon you My greatest benefactors, for you have Restor'd me man, before I was a muck-worm.

Vnderw.

I have obtain'd my ends then, which were only to reduce you to terms of Justice. Boatswain, this Ship's the wages of thy fidelity.

Boat.

Gentlemen I thank you, and I beseech you let a friend of mine be welcome to you in her, noble Captain, be pleased to come into the Cabin.

To them Salteel.

Vnder.

I am astonish'd — but my amazement must turn to reverence.

Kneels to Salteel.

Salt.

All things conspire to crown me happy, spare that labour, Sir, reserve your knees for Heaven and your Parents—

Vnderw.

Do you deny me then.

Salt.

No, but I beg pardon of you My earnest Zeal to make you restitution Will not permit me, to relate the cause of it, Least it defer your happiness, but if you will with me—

Vnder.

Will I? Yes into an earthquake, Mr. Learcut I beseech you dispence with me till Evening; I'le meet you then at your own House.

Salt.

With all swiftness imaginable, Will you along Sir.

To the Boatswain.

Boat.

Yes, I follow you.

Vnder.

Release the Waterman, how does he take it?

Boat.

Faith very well, Sir, I've kept him drunk ever since.

Vnd.

Give him that for the loss of his time.

Gives him money.

Well, Sir, Farwell, at seven I'le be at your own home.

Goes out.

Lear.

Is the Boat ready now?

Boat.

It is, Sir.

Lear.

To shoar with me quickly, then I shall never believe I'm there, till I feel my feet touch the ground, a comfortable Ditch in the Isle of Doggs now would confirm me.

They go out severally.