Canidia, or, The witches a rhapsody, in five parts / by R.D.

CANTO IV.

Magi were begot of their Mothers, Mingled together with Sisters and Brothers. Mithridates his Polyphagia and Polypotia, Was True, as St. George of Cappadocia. An Mulier confert ad Generationem? An Purpura confert ad Venerationem? Mulier semper aut amat, aut odit, Nihil tertium costodit; But the best Cheese, Mus corrodit.

Quere, If any Woman kind Were ever Bald before or behind? Quere, What is most mens Delight? Women in Summer have most Appetite. Mulieres Glabrae & Barbatae, Lenones in Procinctû state. Formicae, minùs quàm Mares, Venosae, Anûs Puellis magis Exosae.

Women are most free from Gouts, Yet they sit most pricking of Clouts; But Men have the most tearing Bouts, There never will be an end of Doubts.

Womens Inferna are Crassiora, Womens Superna are Formosiora. In Ʋmbilicis sedet Libido, Aeneam deperiit Dido.

A Senate of Women sate at Rome; But the wisest sort stay'd at Home. They that could no Secrets forbear, Would fainest be in the Confessors Chair. O Pythagoras! O Palaemon! One of you said the World was a Daemon. Partridges, give me leave, The Question is, how they conceive?

〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Spidars Lawn, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. Second Notions without Sense, Distinctions without sance Difference, So Dunce Doctors commence. Metaphors, Cadences, and Twangs, Make florid Tropical Harangues. Quintilian, Ciceronian styles, Sentences of half Miles, May be leap'd over by Lame Giles. Lypsius had small Command, In short Paragraphs of Sand.

Lana Caprina's not fit for Clothing, Curiously wrought, is good for Nothing. Da veniam aetati, for pregnant Wits, Poets are good at girds and fits. Exceptio confirmat Regulam in non Exceptis, Deceptio confirmat Fraudem in non Deceptis. The Devil is not so black, as he's painted; St. Dunstan is not so white, as he is Sainted.

I fear Sanctified Virgins are tainted, With these I was never acquainted.

Indian Rats pregnant in Dams Bellies, All my delight is in Cock-Broths and Gellies. I presume you'l count me a Fool, For Writing in Burlesque or Ridicule; 'Tis because I could get no better Tool. Satyrs blow hot and cold, Serpents and Eagles are young and old; Women at the Ducking-Stool can Scold.

At the Pope's Bull and Scotch Heifer yoaked, The Devils in Hell are all provoked; Because by them they are like to be choaked. Flectere si nequeo Superos Acheronta movebo, I have Commenc'd at Salamanca and Toledo. Chad eat more Chees an Chaddit, Jack would wipe's Nose if he had it. The Sawce for a Cony is good for a Rabbit; If a good Cause won't dye, I hope a Lawyer can Stab it. I don't like your Murdering Prayers, Or to break my Neck down Stairs.

Scholars must not go to Fairs; Take'um Proctor, Cap'um, pull'um by the Ears; Well rhim'd Tutor, Brains and Stairs. Inter Regem & Tyrannum non discernunt Graeci, Distinguish Antipodes and Antoeci. Alexander's Sword, 'twas no wonder, Cut the Gordian Knot asunder. Blochardus attackt the Castle Enchanted, The Old Capitol was Haunted:

There are Spirits, take it for granted; And Witches too, if Wit be not wanted.

Get me a Pick-lock for the Law, I'le find in Solon, or Lycurgus, a Flaw. I'le solve a Case better than Navar, Till my very Brains do Jar. Old Vlpian, Papinian, Barto••us, Caius Wesembec do but Cajole us.

Do, maintain it with a Brazen Face, Dominion is founded on Grace. O Rare Polla, uxor Polla, Get better Pot Herbs, Mors in olla. Nos numerus sumus, & magno damnamur Atridi, I don't like Fasting upon Friday. Terrae onus, frages consumere Nati, Excellently spoke by Diodati.

Quid vis impunè facere, Regium est, Rebellium in Populo Privilegium est. Mahomet's Horns half Fire, half Snow, Tell me a Tale of a Royston Crow, How, an if this no Body must know?

I long those Janus Faces to discover, That cry one side, and laugh on the other. At this Axiom, Momus Risit, Qui Beneficium accepit Libertatem amisit, Censor Morum, Cato Redivivus, We lack such Confessors to shrive us. Hugh Peters, a Wry-neck'd R••gue, 'Mong all the Traytors his Head carries the Vogue.

I reckon the Stellite••ticks Among the Students Academicks. Tom Triplet and Tom Coriot in Shackles, Were whipt for Ʋniversity Rake hells. Jurisconsultorum Ignoramus, Among the Petifoggers is famous. All's well, that ends well, they say it follows; All's bad, that ends bad, at the Gallows.

Divide the Lions Skin, before he be dead, Give away your Estates, and beg your Bread; Or take a Beetle, and knock you on the Head. A Haltar, or Faggot, chuse you which, If ye have a mind to turn Witch. Hang a Taylor, that can't Stich Upon the Sign of the Dog and Bitch. Our Profession is never Rich, Give a Thief-Hostler a Switch. A lowzy Taylor must dye in a Ditch, Be hang'd or damn'd, choose you which.

I hear the sound upon a Low-string, Mahomet's Doctrine of the Bow-string. The Black Box, the Dwarfs and Mutes, Justice and Honesty con••utes. Are you such Fools ye Rich Bashaws, To be shot at, like Jack-Daws. When you have serv'd a Tyrants Will, Suffer him your Bloods to spill. If you like this Trade so well, Next is to serve a Prentiship in Hell.

Paulus the Praetor was counted a Sot, For taking up a Chamber-Pot,

With that Hand that wore Rings, Engrav'd with Caesars and Kings. Jove would be serv'd by none but Haebe, Young Ganymede and fair Phaebe. Cleombrotus ravisht with a Scrowl, That contain'd the Immortality of the Soul, Had better ta'ne a chirping Bowl,

Velles and Infules, words of Commission, Expressing signs of Submission. Ʋlysses and Ajax mournful Faces, Zeuxis describ'd with full Graces, For Iphigenia, but because his Skill did fail, For Agamemnon he drew a Vail. Alcestus her Husband Admetis reliev'd; By her dying, his death she Repriev'd.

Mecenas and Codrus, the more's the pity, Ventur'd (like Fools) to dye for their City. Marius sacrific'd Calphurnia his Daughter, To the fury of the Cymbrick slaughter, For which he might be call'd Fool ever after. Would you have it try'd by their Peers, Lillies have no Seed, but their Tears. In Elysium you'l meet with good Lull, Cups of Nectar and Ambrosia, always full.

Arithmeticians can exactly probe, How may Corns of Dust will make up the Globe; And how many Grains may be spent, To fill the Concavity up to the Firmament: As Archimedes did the Number of Sands, That stop the Oceans Commands.

The still-Sow eats up all the Draught, The simpring Wench is always Naught. They say, Curst Cows have short Horns. Tender Feet can't tread upon Thorns, He that enters Trophonius's Grotto, Must read the superscribed Motto. Of Lethe and Mnemosyne take each a Cup, Resolve to drink 'um both sheer up.

Resolve to forget all Sorrow; But be sure to be reveng'd to Morrow, And never remember to pay what you borrow. A sort of Fools I may not smother, That choose to dye one for another. Others cast the unlucky Lot, Which of the two must go to the Pot. 'Tis far better and more gain, For Pages to suffer their own Masters Pain.

Others out of pure Civility, For some Friend offer to dye: No body knows the reason why; I'de as lieve they should do so, as I. We understand better things, To kill, rather than to dye for Kings. Such Principles we teach, All we can to over-reach, And yet seem to make no Breach.

To prevent all Mischief still, By doing all manner of Ill, Under pretence of Love and good Will. Learn of us, if you'd be safe, At your best Friend, draw the Dagger Ralph.

Never stand, Shall I, shall I's. The Aggressors make the Sallies, So do the Rogues of the Algier Gallies.

Free Booters all, this is the work Of the Tartar and the Turk. Viis & Modis, do all ye are able To steal the Steed, and shut the Stable; To sink the Ship and cut the Cable. In your Anger, pardon no Man, In your Lust spare no Woman. If like us, you would be wise, Regard no Age, Sex, or Size; If you fear pity, shut your Eyes.

The drinking, damming, roaring Gang, In my Judgment are fitter to Hang; Than to bear any Rule or Command O're sober Men, by Sea or Land. If their rise Hatred among Friends, And you can't handsomly compass your Ends. Come to us, though they look never so big, I'le warrant you, they shall have a Fig. Let us alone to do your Job, Better than openly Kill or Rob.

Hipti, Hopti, Talere Hoo, You shall have one, you shall ha'e two, You shall have what y' have a mind to do. Is not this a pleasant Trade, To ride your Horse to a Jade? You may prove a second Jack Cade. And to be sure to be well paid, 〈…〉〈…〉 never be over-laid.

This is to call a Spade, a Spade, Better than a dull roguing Blade. Get you to a Cunning-Man, He'l conjure for you, all he can, And do more business than Cup and Kan. They be dull Rogues, that Swear and Swagger, And cry, Jemmy, draw thy Dagger; And although they have no Lands, Challenge Cowards to Callis Sands.

These Tricks a Witch understands Better than Questions and Commands: Better than forging Bills or Bonds, Or putting Deeds in Scriveners hands. Never more to be seen, Or to play at King and Queen; Rarely come off, Little Tom Green. This is fair Play above Board, To qualifie a Knight or Lord, As a tender Conscience may well afford.

Oportet Imperatorem mori stantem, Oportet Oratorem mori orantem; Sed melius est amare Amantem. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. States or Common-wealths be gone Praestò, Monarchy's the best Manifesto. Oderint dum metuunt, the Tyrant roars, Keep in Subjection, but destroy not the Boars.

Are my Pains really more or less, For my Companions in Distress? Indeed, if my Friends are at ease, While I suffer, that may please: And they may comfort me the more, When themselves feel no Sore.

But, if all together roar and yell, What comfort is in such a Hell?

My Friends Grief is grown An Addition to mine own. Suffer alone, or if you had rather, Suffer with others, choose you whether. But, if I delight in Strangers groans, As I may do in their Thrones: United Comforts I shall find, Far better than Sorrows combin'd.

Have a care Court-Rats, Of being took by City-Cats. Porphyrogenitus, sweet as Amber. Was begot in the Purple Chamber; To Princes Thrones you must not clamber. India worships the Rising-Sun, America is undone. Asinius Pollio, to a Slave that for Death did cry, Said, Nondum tecum in gratiam redii.

No Statesman est Semper idem, Haud diu servat fortuna fidem. By Moon in Conjunction with Sol sped, Once in a Month a New Moon is bred, 'Tis long since he got her Maiden-head. Of Moon-Rabbits and Pigeons we may have good Cheer, They Litter Thirteen Months in the Year.

When did the Planets or Stars fix so fast, Multiply so, from first to last? We shall not see that Day in haste, They are such Tapers as never waste.

Keeping their Cases in which they were cast, Holding their own in all Ages past. And so they will for ever last, Of Constellations there will be no waste.

The Tartar, when Din'd in mighty State, Sounds a Trumpet at his Gate; To give leave to all Sinners, After him, in good Manners, to take their Dinners. Therefore, if you have but a Brown-Crust, Or be ne're so hungry, eat if you durst; But we'l venture, let him do his worst.

Pinguedinem Ʋrsae deponunt, Eat their Flesh, if you will, I'le ha' none on't. What's Plenilunium Prosobolon? What's an Hospital Triobolon? Podogram curat Cydnus Fluvius, The best Architect was Vitruvius; The best Casuist was Covarruvius. Puellae Venenosae, take heed, For they say, There is such a Breed.

Four-footed Creatures stand most sure, A Red-hair'd Wench I cannot endure. An Ass spake when Romulus and Remus were born, As sure as a Cuckold wears a Horn. If you say, I'm one, I'le take it in Scorn, And challenge you to the Field to morrow Morn. Senectus Animae Propria Aetas, We are most of us Old, I hope you won't eat us.

Sol aurea Gleba, but give me the Ore Of Gold indeed, and I shall never be Poor, Let Sol be what he will, I'le desire no more.

Sepulchral Dogs, Sepulchral Men, I love the Flesh of a Capon or Hen. Stygian Water nothing can hold, But the Hoof of a Hackney-Horse that is old. Figura Triplex of a Voice, Shew me but one, I'le take my Choice,

Many a Man, if you mind him, May be hang'd for leaving his Drink behind him. Bacchus and Silenus dy'd by Quaffing, Zeuxis the Painter dy'd with Laughing. Why do Lovers pray to the Moon? Why do Lubbars lye a Bed till Noon?

Who put on Agamemnon's close-Coat, While Clytemnestra cut his Throat? Who sent Hercules to the Dark, By putting on a poyson'd Sark? Are these such Creatures, by Yea and Nay, As live but the life of one poor Day? Whither, when we have left seeing, We do forthwith slide out of Being.

Genii of Tunicks have need, And Vehicles to carry them with speed. Do you imagine they can bleed; Or on Fumes of Sacrifices feed? Or on nasty Fogs and Steams, In Caverns, unexhaled by Sun-Beams.

The Zabii hold down their Noses, To scent Incense sweeter than Roses. Delight to sit in Witches Laps, And from black Teats suck poysonous Paps.

In what Conditions or Stations, Are Souls fled from their Habitations? Do they retire to other Nations? How shall we send 'um Commendations?

How a Gnat sends forth a Hum, If she sings, Come Pudding come. From her Throat, or from her Bum? An Answer from Socrates must come: So his Podex is a Pipe or a Drum; To the Philosopher give a Hum. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, our drunken Motto, When we Feast in a Sphinges Grotto.

What think you of those Throngs and Crouds Of Goddesses, the Venerable Clouds? They jumble together in Ruts, Like the Grumbling in the Guts. There's Thunder, Rain, Hail and Snow, And Winds, that make Seas overflow. The Experiment is a Paunch, Whence Wind and Dirt flies by the stroke of a Lance.

Chaos, Nubes and Lingua, never fear 'um, Sint Tria Primordia Rerum. No less Man says thus, than Socrates, Wiser than Galen or Hypocrates. Amphyctionick Councels Meet In Thermopylae and Delphos Street. For Love to Souls is their Debate, And to Barbarians for Hate; Methinks they Stalk it in great State.

Areopagus was a famous Court, For the Ostracism Sport.

And at the Old Olympick Games, Met many Proper, Gallant Dames. Champions got Crowns of Bays, Ornaments of Honour and Praise. Ladies conquer'd in the Field, By Knights and Squires, without Sword or Shield.

Why should you Men offer to Castrate us, Eunuchate and Effeminate us. No fear you should Cuckolate us, We shall ne're have Whiskers or Muschato's: But we may be Even with you agen, For Women can make themselves Men. What was the Pathick Sporus, A Rogue that us'd to Jade and Bewhore us, Till he was asham'd to come before us.

Pythagoras abstain'd from Beans; More need to abstain from Rogues and Queens. A Priest may not touch them in Pontificalibus, But in Sacrificiis Penetralibus. Formicae Castratae, Hey Ho, I wonder why it should be so. This is the Reason, I very well know, From us to Boys they are minded to go.

Nay, get you gon with a Vengeance to Beasts, And to Fowls, if you will, when th'have Feather'd their Nests. I do not like such Scornful Jests, To take up our Smocks to hide our Breasts. Candaules boasted of his Fair Wife, Shew'd her naked to the Life, To Gyges, that had the famous Ring, Who Cuckold him for it, like a King; Was there ever such a Thing?

Manus Ridens had no Rings; The Swan dies, if she Sings. Cardan his Body did so Rarisie, When he would, to fall into Aphairesie. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 is the Great Year, When Signs in the Zodiack the same appear. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 is the Isle of Dogs, Gadaren is the Land of Hogs; But Egypt is the Land of Frogs.

Variety, if you want. For Sallads, take the Sensitive Plant. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Fine, Antistites of Sacra Eleusine. 'Twas a Horrid Effatum, Genitale Membru•• adoratum. Lupercalia 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Rufi Boves, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Is not all this 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.

The Cross Bull put Germ inicus to a stand, Refusing a Lock of Hay from his fair Hand. But the Life of Eudoxus Cnidius was bespoke, By the kind Bull's licking his Coat. Nilus Water, with Hony mixt, Plenty and Peace in Egypt fixt.

Gross Vapours stinking, as one could wish, For Daemons will make a rare Dish. Perfumes and Fat are very good Food; But they most delight in Blood. Tho Gods gaping for Altars Smoak, They drink like Flyes, and never choak.

If this Truth any denies, Beelzebub is the God of Flies.

Crocodiles, Goats, Dogs and Cats, All Worship had, with Mice and Rats. Azazel, Bless us, O Palaemon! Must be some extraordinary Daemon. Dii Averruncani, Oromazes, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Aremanes, Lucidi & Tenebrosi, Horridi & Formosi.

Isys, Osyris, are serv'd in State; But Typhon, O Typhon, all Hate: All Harm to all Creatures on him they lay, All Errors of Nature, and all Decay; And from Him, all run away. Typhone multiplicior Bellua, Typhone nullus voracior Helluo. Indians Sacrifice to this Fiend, To pacifie their Foe, and make him their Friend. All the Race of cursed Cham, Are still afraid of Old Sam.

To him they Sacrifice an Ass, The first Trumpeter that ever was; Which the Copti turn'd to Grass. Watery or Fiery Lustrations, Purge the Sins of all Nations. Aegyptian and Assyrian Schemes, Are the dark Chronologers Themes. I might deserve Fortuna Capistri, If I should Jurare in Verba Magistri.

Egypt was once all Waters, Which since hath bred, Wife Sons and Daughters. We are well taught ex Abundanti, Quòd motus non fit in Instanti. ‘ Y' have turn'd me out of my Seven Senses, ‘ And made me wander like the Frenzies. Asini Imperium is fit for Works, Lunati Calcei fit the Turks.

Mulier sine Viro concepta, Nondum satis est correpta. 'Tis truly said, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, And as true, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. Woman, the Rib, was made a Dart, And shot the poor Man to the Heart.

Vulcan, the Ancient God of Fire, Is no less than the Sun's own Sire: This Vulcan was a brave Squire, Mars did tame him in his Ire. Res mente existunt, I find, Things are created in the Mind▪ Vulcan, and his Logger-head Dolts, In Aetna's Forge beat Thunderbolts.