I ragguagli di Parnasso, or, Advertisements from Parnassus in two centuries : with the politick touch-stone / written originally in Italian by that famous Roman Trajano Bocalini ; and now put into English by the Right Honourable Henry, Earl of Monmouth.

The Spanish Monarchy comes to Pernassus, and desires A∣pollo to be cured of an Issue, but is dismist by the Poli∣tick Physitians.

THough Apollo did not only give sudden order for the solemn entry of the Spanish Monarchy, who came four months ago to this Court, but also for a publick Consistory of the Literati in the Royal Hall of Audience, where the Muses were all to be present; yet was not the Ce∣remony performed til some two daies ago; for she spent four months time in agreeing with the Prince-Poets touching the Titles that she should give to, and receive from every man; and in what manner she should receive them, and be received by them in visits. Which made the Ver∣tuosi wonder, and bitterly bewail the condition of the present times, which were infected with so much vanity: But the Vertuosi werè more afflicted when they heard that many learned Princes did openly forbid that great Queen to visit them; affirming that they feared to receive some affront from her; for they had received fresh Letters from Italy, wherein they were advised by their friends, to be aware what they did in that point, for it was the usual custom of Spaniards to visit people more to injure them, then honour them; and that therefore they thought it a great piece of folly, instead of shunning affronts, to wait for them at home, and receive them with cap in hand. And though so potent a Monarchy, to the great wonder of all men, seemed more close-handed in giving sa∣tisfaction to others in Titles, then in giving them gold, she hath notwith∣standing received what greatest contentment she could desire in point of Title from the Prince-Poets; and from all the potent Vertuosi who mind realities more then vain-glory. 'Tis true, that it hath much de∣tracted from the reputation of so great a Queen, in this Court, to see, that though she hath great need of friends, she appears so indifferent in aliena∣ting those who desire nothing of her but good words. Every one noted it for a great singularity, that when the Master of the Ceremo∣nies told her that that nice punctilio which she stood upon was hatefull, fit for a barbarous King, but far unworthy so great a Queen as she, she should in a rage reply, That she wondred at him, and at all Masters of Ce∣remony; since he seemed not to know that a Prince without gravity, was like a Peacock without a tail.

It is impossible to write with what curiosity of desire, so great a Prin∣cess was expected and looked upon by these Literati: For people flockt from all the parts of Pernassus, to behold that powerful Queen, who with such strange success, had in so short a time united great Kingdoms under her, and made so formidable an Empire of them, as there is not any one Prince in the world, who hath not for fear of her put on a Coat of Male, and an Iron Brestplate. This Queen attended by a numerous Navy, arrived happily some months ago in the Island of Lesbos, and the Lady Republick of Genua lent her her famous Haven gratis, though by a certain antient prerogative, the Family of the Dorii received a great Rent for it. The Spanish Monarchy is young in respect of that of France, England, and the other antient Monarchies of Europe, but of a much larger body then any of them, and disproportionably great for her years:

whence it is believed, that if she should continue to grow as long as hu∣mane bodies use to do, she would become so great a Gyantess, as she would arrive at that immeasurable height of Universal Monarchy, at which the Roman Monarchy arrived. But the accidents which attend State-affairs, say for certain, that she will grow no greater; and that she is grown in her tenderest years to the utmost height that ever she will be at. Which is clearly proved by this undeniable Argument, That she hath more ado to grow an inch in these present times, then two handfuls heretofore. This powerful Lady is of so ssallow a complexion, as she shadows upon the Moor: And therefore is rather proud in her behavi∣our, then grave; and all her actions relish much more of cruelty, than severity: Wherefore having never been able to learn the so necessary Art for Princes of pardoning; it is that which in the opinion of many, doth most impede her growth: For boasting her self of nothing more then in being called Doctor of the Science of knowing how to cut off the heads of those detested Poppies, which in her State-Gardens overtop the rest, she joyes it should be said, That in this Art she hath exceeded that great Tarquin, who was the first Inventer of such a Secret. Being then so bold and resolute in her severities, she is very costive in confer∣ring favours, which proceed but very seldom from her: And she is so arrogant in those few which she confers, as they are not very acceptable: yet in outward shew she is wholly composed of civility and complement; but who can prie into her heart with Politick Spectacles, will find nothing therein but pride, avarice, and cruelty; in so much as they who have convers'd longest with her, tell us that no Princess gives better words, and worser acts. Whence it is, that taken as a Mistriss, men like her very well, but as a Soveraign very ill. Her hands are extraordinary long, which she turns whither she lists, and where it makes most for her advantage, without distinguishing between friend and foe, kindred or strangers; she hath Harpye's nails, and so hard and tenacious fingers, as they never let go what once they grasp. Her eyes are black, but very sharp-sighted; a squint-ey'd look, wherewith whilst she seems to look fixedly upon one, she is very intent in observing another (a very dangerous thing for Prin∣ces) for having of late years her face turned towards Algiers, she fixt her eyes upon Marselles: And much greediness is seen in her eyes, for she sees nothing with them, which she doth not in her heart desire: So as those who are most speculative say, that this Queen doth thirst immo∣derately after what's another mans, and that she never had friend, whom she did not soon make her slave.

All which things witness to the world, that she is fitter to command slaves, than free-men: For she expects more then any other Princess, to be served not only by her Subjects, but even by her friends. She stands so much upon her punctilio, as she will not be civil, even on good occasions which have often times come home unto her. She exceeds all past and present Princes, in knowing how to cover all her diabolical Interests with a cloak of double Brocato: And though she be every day seen to do unhandsom things, yet she boasts of nothing more then of her conscience: Wherefore the French, who have been so often deceived under the co∣lour of holy pretences; have at their own cost learnt at last; then to take up arms and get on horseback, when with her beads in her hand, they see her treat of business full of Religious pretences, and charity towards

her beloved neighbour; she is so skilful in riding, as she hath not only suc∣cessfully tamed the Noble Neapolitan Coureer, but the very untoward Spanish Mules, who are so naturally given to lay about them with their heels. She is of so much more suspicious a genius then all other Queens, as setting her own Nation aside, she hath declared her distrust of all o∣thers that are subject unto her, though she hath found them upon all oc∣casions to be very faithful: Which makes so much for her prejudice, as those who mind the worlds affairs, say, that were it only out of this re∣spect, it is impossible for her to grow greater. And this is occasioned, because no Queen loves less to be loved, and more to be feared by her subjects then she: And therefore Politicians think it a great piece of folly in her, to believe so firmly that she can make people adore her, by ill usage: yet she allures people to serve her by these hateful customs; for her great store of wealth is that Loadstone which violently draws the souls, even of such unto her, whose duty it being to abhor her, ought to seek her lessening. She is very accurate in petty affairs; but in matters of great importance, no Princess suffers her self to be more easily decei∣ved. She shews a great deal of wisdom and understanding in arguing and resolving upon matters of weight; but be it either out of her innate slowness, or by the cunning of her State Officers (who are greedy Mer∣chants of great affairs) or for that she thinks nothing is done with deco∣rum, which is not long looked for, she is so slow in putting her resolves into execution, as the face of affairs altering with the times, resolutions which are at first wisely taken, prove unfortunate. She is therefore held by all men, to be better at ordering of plots and businesse, then in the managing of Arms, wherein she is very hearty, greatly constant, and doth strangely undergo all hardships, but is so little resolute, as her too great circumspection hath many times the face of fear: So as she appears fitter to keep States, then to acquire them; and many singular men laugh at her, for that she will regulate all her actions by certain sound and ma∣ture advice, not leaving any thing to the hands of that Fortune or Fate, which hath so favoured the French, and made them so glorious, when they have shewed much boldness, but little advisedness in their actions. And some think that this happens because she is as sparing of her own bloud, as greedy of that of other people; which makes the most un∣derstanding Warriours laugh at her for aspiring at Universal Monarchy, without fighting: The which she doth, because being used to make great acquisitions by alliances, she abhors the fearful French fashion, of pur∣chasing other peoples Patrimonies at the price of her own bloud. Being therefore more advised then adventurous, she is more prejudicial to her enemies in peace, than in war: Wherefore the French who have hi∣therto lived with her in a supine carelessness, have after their so many ca∣lamities, learnt at last, to double-bolt their dores when they have made peace with the Spaniards. She is very careless of her own riches, but so greedy of what is anothers, as she cares not to desert her own patrimo∣nial estate, so she may come by those of others. She is of so deep thoughts, and of so conceal'd a soul, as it lies not in the skill of men to find out her ends: Nay Linceus himself with his acute eye-sight cannot so much as penetrate the outmost film thereof: Whereas short-sighted men can see even into the bowels of the French, and of the men of other Nations.

But he who will judge of this great Ladies genius and customs, must believe her to be in all her negotiations clean contrary to what she appears to be outwardly. And although amongst the vertues that have been named, she hath many enormous vices, yet she hath the good fortune to have all things in her, held vertues, and admired for such; wherefore many wise Princes think it an honour to them to imitate her even in her vices. She is of a strong constitution, which makes many men think her to be long-liv'd: She suffers only in having her members so far di∣stant, a thing which doth infinitely weaken so great a body: And though by the assistance of the Genoweses, and her alliance with the Duke of Savoy, she endeavours to unite them; yet does she but little good there∣in, by reason of the diversity of Interest of these two Potentates. But so great a Princess is prejudiced by nothing more, then by her own Spa∣nish State-Ministers, which she makes use of in all great imployments, wherein they carry themselves so proudly, and with such hateful haugh∣tiness, as they will not be only honoured as men, but even adored as Gods. An impertinency which hath made the Spanish Government tedious and nauseous, not only to the Italians and Flemmish, but even to the very Spaniards themselves. All that behold so powerful a Queen, wonder to see that she should all her life-time be troubled with Leeches, and those for the most part of Genua; And some of them are so great as good big Eels. And it is not known whether her not shaking them off proceeds from impotency, from negligence, or from the destiny of great Princes, to whom it is alwaies fatal to have these ugly animals suck out their very life-bloud.

This potent Princess being come into the Royal Hall before Apollo, made her left arm be untied by some of her servants, and shewing it na∣ked to Apollo, and the whole College of Literati, spake thus: Lord and Father of Learning! this which you see, is that stinking issue of Flan∣ders, which the French, Germans, and some Italian Princes who seem to be my friends, and that unbowel'd beyond-sea Renegado made in me so many years ago, for the jealousies they had of me. I confess that the before named Princes had reason to be jealous of me, when after the death of Henry the second, they saw France falne into the calamity of in∣fant Kings, and that I, in their minority, sought to sow discord in that Kingdom: Now that there is no more cause for these suspitions, and that (I do not blush to say it) I have been sentenced to pay charges in the great contention which I had with the French, and particularly with that mad Prince of Bearne, I desire your Majesty that so troublesom an issue may be closed up, since every one sees that it is become so inraged a canker by reason of the abundance of humors that have confluence thither, as I wish to God it may not prove my ruine. I did not pass into Italy meerly out of mine own ambition, nor had I so immoderate a thirst (as my ene∣mies affirm) to command it all. Every one knows that I was called in, and haled by meer force, by the Italian Princes own selves, to free them from the fear of being Lorded over by the French: And there is none in Europe that does not know, that I lose so much of my principal, every year in the States which I hold in Italy, as they serve but to weaken and oppress me. Happy had it been for my Spanish Palace, which I would have tiled over with Silver and Massie Gold, if I had never medled with the Italians, a double-dealing people, full of fallacies and interests, and

who are only good to Imbarque people in dangerous businesses without bisket, and then to abandon them in their greatest necessities; professing nothing more openly, then to take Crafish out of their holes with other mens hands. And I strangely wonder why Italy, which (as every one knows) hath suffered her self to be overrun by all Forreign Nations, should now make such profession of chastity to me, as she cannot see me move never so little, but she is afraid I should bereave her of the honour of her Liberty: And though the greatness which the Kingdom of France is at present in, does secure Italy, and all the aforesaid Princes from the fear they have of my power; yet, if your Majesty shall be so pleased, I am ready to give security to every one de non offendendo; provided this my so troublesome issue may be closed up.

The Issue was forthwith by order from his Majesty, very diligently considered by the Politick Physitians, and having held a careful Council thereupon, they said, That it being clearly seen that the Spanish Mo∣narchy was affected with a continual ardent thirst of Rule, she had need of that issue, by which those gross humors might be purged away, which fell upon her stomack from Peru, and occasioned that unquenchable thirst. And these able Physitians considered, that if the aforesaid Mo∣narchy had not had that issue, it was apparently dangerous that the per∣nitious humors of Peru might mount to the head of Italy, to the ma∣nifest ruine of her so principal Members, which remain as yet unviolated; And that the Monarchy of Spain might fall into a Dropsie of Universal Monarchy: For which inconveniences, they said excellent provision was had by this issue of Flanders; which ought to be kept open, whilst Peru did subminister such pernitious humors to the Kingdom of Spain.

She was much displeased with this resolution, wherefore, greatly in∣censt, she said, Sir, If by the malignity of others I must so shamefully consume away by administring oyntment to this Canker, which my ene∣mies term a diversive issue; others who least believe it, may pechance bring clouts to it. The meaning of this was soon understood by the French, English, and Italians, who reply'd, That they feared nothing less: For they sent but the scum of their States to Flanders, whereas the Spani∣ards spent their gold, and very life-bloud therein. For, to secure them∣selves from the formidable power of Spain, and from the Spaniards am∣bition, which they found had no Orison; the English, French, Germans, and Italians, were forced answerable to Tacitus his Aphorism. Consili∣is & Astu res externas moliri, armaprocul habere.