I ragguagli di Parnasso, or, Advertisements from Parnassus in two centuries : with the politick touch-stone / written originally in Italian by that famous Roman Trajano Bocalini ; and now put into English by the Right Honourable Henry, Earl of Monmouth.

The Duke of Alva being arrived at Pernassus, in com∣plementing with Prospero Colonna, he falls to cuffs with him about Titles; whereof he had defrauded the Colonnesi.

DOn Fernando di Toledo Duke of Alva, some few daies ago, came to Pernassus, and according to an express Order from Apollo, dili∣gent examination having been made of his actions, was, by the Milita∣ry men, found worthy to be admitted into Pernassus amongst those fa∣mous Captains; who fighting with patience and art, knew rather how to overcome their enemies without bloudshed, then with open force and desperateness, to hazard the fortune of Kingdoms in the doubtfull chance of a set battel. But because Lodovick Guicchiardin, a very ju∣dicious Writer of the Affairs of Flanders gave in a complaint, That for some distastful things which he had written of the Duke, he had been evil intreated by him, he was fain to wait yet a good while to clear himself of that foule imputation: For in Pernassus there is yet in force an Edict very strictly observed by Apollo, wherein that Prince or private man is declared to be fallen into a premunire, and liable to the penalty of reproach, that should dare to affront any Historian, or o∣ther Writer, for things written, though little for his honour, yet (how∣soever) true: But so potent were the Dukes friends, that Guicchiar∣din was content to withdraw the suit; whereupon he was admitted into Pernassus with all the greatest solemnities possible, and had a place a∣mong his Majesties Gens d'armes, commanded by the famous Quintus Fabius Maximus, who for his singular wariness was sirnamed Cunctator. And it hapned, that among other Princes and great Commanders whom this Duke visited, that one was the most excellent Signior Prospero Co∣lonna, of whom he was received with all sorts of honour, and so much the more, because he understood that the Duke made publick professi∣on of being a Disciple, a follower, and imitator of that slow, but sure way of waging war, used by this Signior Prospero. But in this visit, there fell out a strange accident, and in truth a very troublesome chance: for at the first meeting, the Duke having given to Signior Prospero the Title of Vostra Merce, he grew into such a rage, that taking so base a Title for a great affront, he said with an angry voice; Duke, I thought thou hadst come into my house to reverence one that is greater then thy self, not to undervalue him: But because the men of the House of Colonna answer injuries done by words, with deeds, Get thee out of this house, for in the street, with weapons in hand, I will make it good upon thee▪ that they which proceed with such as I am, in base uncivil tearms, deserve not to be admitted into any commerce with men of honour. The Duke was amazed at this so resolute resentment which he observed in that great Commander, and resisting the violence that Signior Prospero used to thrust him out of the Chamber, he fell to fisti∣cuffs with him. And because the Spaniards that were in the Dukes company, seeing him struggle with Colonna, came in to help him, the Italians that waited upon Signior Prospero, did the same too: So that a

great many men being gotten into a very narrow place, there insued a very cruel scuffle; the noise whereof being heard into the street, was the occasion that the news of so dangerous an accident was suddenly car∣ried to Apollo: Who in great hast dispatch'd away thither the Lord Lieutenant of that place, with a guard, which took the Duke out of Signior Prospero's hands; and having quieted the uprore, commanded the Spaniards, who had been already shrewdly handled, to get them home again. Then Signior Prospero, before any body could give in sinister information against him, presented himself before Apollo, to whom it is reported, that with great haughtiness of mind, he spake these words: Sir, It is well known to every one, that those of the house of Colonna, which have been men of my quality, have alwaies enjoy'd the Title of Excellency, antequam Abraham fuerit, and ere the Spani∣ards were in rerum natura.

Now, that this Nation should undertake to misuse such a one as I am, as at this very instant the Duke of Alva hath had the audaciousness to do in mine own house, is a thing by no means to be indured. For if the abjectness of him that makes the trespass, doth infinitely aggravate the injury to him against whom it is made, how is it possible that an Italian Baron of my quality, should contain himself within the bounds of mo∣desty, when he sees he is so much undervalued by that Spanish Nation, whose miseries within these four daies, the whole world did so pitty, that the Christians were fain to have gatherings for them in their Churches, to free them from that wretched slavery, wherein they were so unfor∣tunately oppressed by the Moors of Granada. The Spaniards enjoy the Dominion over the greatest part of Italy, where, by such as I am, though every day they threaten us with cruel and universal slavery, they are lov'd, honoured, yes, and serv'd. And they with their portentous avarice have deprived us of our estates; and in the deplorable sack of Rome, with their unexpressible sensuality, have bereft our chastest Ma∣trons of their honours: Yet that now in return of so prostrated a pati∣ence, they would fain take from us this little vapour of honour that we have left, and these poor Titles, the unhappy remainders, and lamenta∣ble Reliques of the Italian Reputation, is a thing so hard to be digested, that by every honorable Baron of Italy it ought to be revenged; not with verbal complaints as I do, but with the daggers point.

They that were present at this passage, say, that all the while Signior Prospero was speaking, Apollo look'd something smiling: And still the angrier Colonna grew, the more did the mirth of his Majesties divine and resplendent face appear; insomuch, that when Signior Prospero had broken forth into those over-daring words, that the gross abuses which the Spaniards offer to the Italians, ought to be revenged with the dag∣gers point, he burst out into a downright laughter, and said, Prospero, Thou hast been, and alwaies wilt be, too cholerick. And I must needs tell thee, I am infinitely scandalized, that such a one as thou who hath alwaies made particular profession of a sound judgement, should wonder that slaves, which for twenty years together have been fed in a Galley with black and musty bisket, when they light upon a batch of Manchet, use to fill themselves, till their guts be ready to crack. Yet that their outragious greediness, and every indecent action with which they use to gorge themselves, is so far from being odious to those good honest men

which look on▪ that it rather moves them to pitty. Do you Italians therefore give way too, that the Spaniards (men so newly come into the world, and but lately gotten out of the slavery under the Moors of Granada) may glut themselves with diet so delicious to their taste, and with the honoured Titles they have met with in Italy. For I assure you, that as soon as ever they shall be satiated with these vanities, they too, as well as the French, will be so fair conditioned, that, not only to such as you, but to the very Grooms of their Stables, they will very gladly give the Title of Excellence. And let me tell thee, that if thou hadst that discretion, and that perfect knowledg of worldly things, as I •…•…ould with thee, thou would'st very well know, that these exorbitances, and this so odious manner of behaviour which the Spaniards use in Ita∣ly, whereat thou art so extreamly vex'd, is as so much of the best sugar for you Italians, and as so much of the bitterest poyson for the Spanish Nation: Which if to her valour, to her subtilty, and to that inexplicable ambition of hers, she had added amiable conditions, by absolutely cast∣ing out that remainder of Liberty which is not yet quite gone; she would soon have made her self entire Mistress of the Universe. All whose insolencies would be revenged, not with the daggers point by you Italians, but with all manner of cruelty by the Monarchy of Spain her self, upon her own Spanish Officers, who with their vapouring, distast the good servants of so great a Queen, and make her Soveraign∣ty unpleasing to all her subjects. Disorders, against which, some course of necessity must be taken, since they greatly hinder the main subsistence of that universal Monarchy, to which with the publick ha•…•…e of all Italy, it will not ever be possible for her to attain.

And with this answer, Apollo sent home again Signior Prospero, very well satisfied.

After which, appeared before Apollo, the Duke of Alva, with all his retinue, so mel•…•…ncholike, that the great store of Unguentum album, then on their faces, made that those Spaniards did not look so black as the Moores come from Granada, ordinarily use to be.

Then Apollo, interrupting the Duke in the complaints which he was about to make against Colonna, said, Duke, I like not that disorder which I understand hath lately fallen out; and so much the less, as the cause of such a tumult hath been unjust, and no less dishonourable on your part. And upon this occasion I am pleased to put you Italians in mind, that your not only being covetous (as by every one you are known to be) but your not using to be prodigal in giving others those Titles which are desired, is a manifest signe of a malign nature. Since ingenu∣ous Nobleness is known by shewing little greediness after Titles, in re∣ceiving them; and much liberality in giving them: For, not to speak of such as are due, even by those honours as are superfluous, he acquires more reputation to himself that gives them, then he that receives them. And for you Spaniards, that would so rigorously ingross great Titles to your selves alone, you are so far from increasing your good estimation by it, that you are rather grown so odious and ridiculous to people, that the Italians (born to scoff at every one) when in their Comedies they would represent to the world a perfect braggadochio, instead of a Nea∣politan, do not undeservedly personate it by a Spaniard: A thing where∣of you Spaniards should be much ashamed: And I wonder you per∣ceive

not, that your intent of attaining to universal dominion, by means of affronting all men, is a going the clean contrary way to work. The hearts of men, Duke, are taken with that bait of courtesie, with the whistle of gratitude, of civilities, and of being courteous; for very ignorant doth that Fowler shew himself, that (as I see you Spaniards foolishly do) goes into a Dove house to catch Pigeons with a Drum. And I tell you moreover, that if ever any Nation had reason to bait the Italians with honou•…•…s and dignities to bring them into their Nets, and take them with their bird-lime, 'tis you Spaniards, because of the ends which you have upon Italy. And besides, you should consider, that with those States of Naples and Milan, you are fastened there but with wax: For so long shall you govern those two members which you have there, as till the Italians shall resolve to drive you out: Who if af∣ter your ruine, they could be sure to keep themselves from falling into the hands of the French, you know very well, that with only a little trouble which they might give you in the Port of Genoua, they could put you into a thousand inextricable distresses. All which are things that admonish you to give satisfaction at least in words, to those, to whom by the dominion which you have in Italy, you will be forced to give so many bitter distastes by your deeds.

As for the affront which you say you have received from Signior Prospero; I tell you plainly, that whatsoever mischief may be done you, upon such a titular occasion as this, I shall not only no•…•… express any resentment against it, but imagin that you have paid your self for it before-hand. Then the Duke would have excused himself, by saying that he had instructions from his King, how he was to carry himself towards the Barons of Italy in point of Titles; when Apollo told him that the Spanish insolence over the Italians, reached not but to the Neapolitans, and the Milaneses; and his Majesty added, that if much passion had not blinded the Spaniards, they might very well know that their grandees, whom Spain it self cannot contain, and which in Italy, will needs be playing the Gyants▪ when they come to be compared with the Barons of Rome, and those too but of the middle size, prove meer Dwarfs. With that a cloud, white as snow, beginning by little and little to cover the person of Apollo, the Priests that were about him▪ perceived that his Majesty would prophesie. Whereupon all of them being falne prostrate upon the earth, the Duke, and the rest that were with him did the same. Then was his Majesties Divine voice perceiv∣ed to come out of that hollow cloud, and with a most delightful accent, thus it spake.

I prognosticate to you, Spaniards, that with your troublesome and odious behaviour, you will enforce the Nobility of Italy, Mistress of the cruel Sicilian Even-song, to plot against you some bloudy Neapo∣litan night-service.

It being a custom most proper to the Italians, with greater fury to revenge the insolencies of words, then the injuries of blows: As those who having short patience, and long hands, are not only born with hearts much inclined to great resolutions, but so that they use not to re∣venge their wrongs (which when they do, they do to purpose) till those which have done them, have quite forgotten them. And you, to your infinite ruine shall then find them, with arms in their hands, to be

doughty Orlando's: When you shall be fully perswaded that they are grown to be but so many over-jaded and dry-basted Asses.