The familiar epistles of M.T. Cicero Englished and conferred with the: French Italian and other translations

Cicero Imperator, to Marcus Coelius Aedile. Ep. 16.

YOur l••tters would haue brough•• me much griefe, but that as w••ll mine owne reason free'd me of all cares; as also, my minde being long time plūged in despaire, is now become so obdurate, that it entertaineth no new sorrow, yet I know not what the contents of my former letters might be, through which you should so cen∣sure of things as you write. I com∣plain'd of the present troubles, where∣at you also grieued: For I neuer found you so blind in vnde••standing, but that

you could see the same, which I dis∣cerne. One thing I wonder at, that you who should know me so well, should euer be induc••d to thinke, that I am ei∣ther so inconsiderate, that when I may sa••le securely, I will beare out into the m••ine: or so inconstant, that in an in∣stant I should shake off the fauour of so mightie a man, which I haue with so long t••auaile obtained: and be an ene∣mie to my selfe, by my personall assi∣stance in a ciuill warre, which from the beginning, and alwai••s I haue shunned•• what is then this my pensiue resolu••i∣on? peraduenture to retire me into some solitarie place, for you may be sure•• that not onely my mind, to which yours once was answerable, but also mine eies cannot endu••e to behold the i••solencies of some vnwo••thy persons. Whereunto is to be added this trouble∣some pompe of my Lictors, and this imperiall title, which hath b••ene impo∣sed on me. For if this were not, my bur∣den would be faire more tollerable. I could be content, to withdraw my selfe, into any obscure, or s••litary place within Italy; but this my dignitie, lai••s me open, no•• to th•• eyes onely, but to t••e tongues also of such as are maleuo∣lent: and yet I neuer determine to leaue Italy withou•• your pr••uit••e. But least I should be t••oublesome to my friends, I am cons••rained to liue at these little

Farmes I haue vpon the Sea coast. And vpon this, diuers suspect, that I mind to passe the Seas, which peraduenture would stand with my liking, if I thought to arriue in some peaceable part. For it besitteth not me to goe to warre, prin∣cipally against one, to whom I haue al∣wayes shewed my selfe a friend: and in his assistance, to whom I can neuer be thankefull enough. And you cannot but carry in mind, what I once so free∣ly told you, when you met me at Cuma∣num. Remember you not then, how far I was from abandoning Rome? And when some speech grew of leauing it, did I not protest vnto you, that I w••uld rather stand to all chances, then fo••sake Italy, to enter into a ciuill warre? Hath any thing since fallen out to make mee alter my minde? rather all accidents haue concurred, to maintaine my for∣mer resolution. I sweare vnto you, and I suppose you doe bele••u•• me; that a∣midst these miseries I seeke nothing els, but that men may perceiue, that as I haue alwayes affected peace; so b••ing out of hope to effect it, I haue s••unned ciuill warre with all my power I hope, I shall neuer repent my s••lfe of this my constancie. For if Qui••tus H••rtensius was wont to boast, that he neuer ••ssi∣sted in a ciuill w••r••••; ••uch more should I be commended for the same. For in him it was repu••ed but a kinde of co∣wardize;

And my former proceedings remoue this imputation. Neither am I dismaid at those dangers, which your viscerall loue, propounds vnto me; be∣cause there is no kind of disaster, which seemes not to oppresse euery one in these troublesome times: from which questionlesse with mine owne particu∣lar preiudice, and ••uen with those which you exhort me to shunne, I would most willingly haue freed the Common-wealth. To my sonne, whom I am glad you so dearely esteeme, if the Common-wealth stand firme, I shall leaue a rich patrimony, in leauing him the memor••all of my name. But if the Common wealth dissolue, no worse can come to his share, then falls ••o other Cittize••s. Whereas you pray me, to be carefull of my sonne in law, a worthie young man, and deare vnto me, you may well coniecture, that I am neerely toucht on his behalfe, conside∣ring the ••ntire loue I beare to him, and my daughter Tullia. And I tell you thus much, that amongst the common miseri••s, the small hope I had, was, that he would ••uoid all those molestations, which his ou••r-free disposition made him runne into. Enquire I pray you; while he remain'd in Rome, what dayes were they, how bitter to himselfe, and to me his Father in law how dishonou∣rable? Therefore, I neither attend the

end of the warre in Spaine; which I am certaine will be such, as you write vnto me; nor haue I any other stratagem in my head. If the Cittie euer recouer her former state, vndoubtedly, there shall be also some place for vs: if it shall no•• recouer, I beleeue that you also will re∣tire to the same so••itary places, where you heare we are setled. But I dreame perhaps; and all these things may haue a better issue, then we expect. For I call to mind the feares of those, which were old when I was a young man. Who knowes, whithe•• I am not come to be of the same disposition, following the common defect of my yeares? God graunt, it proue so: but yet I am sure you haue heard, that there is an imbro∣dered gowne a weauing for Oppius. And our friend Cur••ius will haue one twice dyed: but the Dyer makes him d••u••ce attendance. I would needs put in this clause, that you might perceiue, that I can still be merrie, though I be a little moued. I desire, you may see that come to passe of Dol••bella, which I haue told yo••. And make reckoning, that it is your owne case. To conclude, be assu∣red, ••hat I will do nothing without my friends counsel: but I beseech you, that whereso••uer I shall be, you will defend both me, and my children in such sort, as best stands with our amitie, and you•• owne loyaltie. Farewell.