The familiar epistles of M.T. Cicero Englished and conferred with the: French Italian and other translations

Caius Matius to Cicero. Epist. 28.

I Tooke great contentment in your letters; because I vnderstood, that you retaine that opinion of me, which I hoped, and wished you should haue. Whereof, though I no waies doubted; yet in that I made grea•• reckoning, that it might be entirely preserued, it did a little touch me. 'Tis true, that I was priuie to my selfe, that I had committed nothing, that could offend the minde of any honest man. And therefore I did the lesse beleeue, that, you being adorned with infinite and excellent sciences, would be rashly perswaded to any thing; especi••lly knowing well, that I euer did, and doe beare you sin∣gular affection. Which, hauing suc∣ceeded, as I wisht; I will ••nswer to the false oppositions, against which you haue oftentimes defended me: perfor∣ming an office, answerable to your most ingenuous condition, and worthy of our amitie. For I know what mat∣ters they obiected against me since the d••ath of Caesar. They accuse me, be∣cause I lament the death of a great friend, and that I am afflicted, because a man is slaine whom I loued: aff••r∣ming that my countrie should be 〈◊〉〈◊〉

before any fri••ndship: as if they had alreadie made triall, that such a death was beneficiall to the Commonwealth. But I will not argue subti••lie. I con∣fesse, tha•• for mine owne part, I can∣not perceiue it; and that I am not yet arriued to this height of wisedome. Neither did I follow Caesar in ciuill dis∣cord: but in that he was my friend, though the course displeased me, yet would I not abandon him. Neither, did I euer approue the ciuill warre, much lesse the occasion thereof: hauing in the very infancie o•• it, applied all my endeuour, to extinguish it. And there∣fore in his victorie, though he was that great friend vnto me, that he was: I was neith••r delighted with honour, or monie. Of which rewards, others were insatiable, whose power was lesse with him, then mine was. And, on the o∣ther side; my goods by Caesars law, were damag••d: and by my fauour most of them, that reioyce at Caesars death, ob∣tain'd, that they might liue in their countrie. That the cittizens who were vanquished, might be pardoned, I laboured no lesse th••n for mine owne safetie. I therefore, who laboured for eue••y mans pre••eruation, should I not greeue for his death, from whom I pur∣chas'd it? especially being hated for their occasion, who murdred him? You shall therefore, vndergoe the penaltie,

(say they) because you dare question that, that we haue acted: Oh pride, neuer heard of! that some may vaunt in their impietie, [and] others can∣not so much as mourne without their ouerthrow. And yet in all ages, ser∣uants haue beene allowed, to feare, to reioyce, and to grieue, rather when they sawe good, then any other. The which libertie, they now, which make profession, to haue giuen it vs, (for so they often report) seeke violently to depriue me o••, by threatnings. But they labour in vaine. There shall be no danger so terrible, that shall make me halt in my dutie, or humanitie. For I haue alwaies held, that an honorable death, should neuer be auoided, but rather oftentimes desired. But why should they be angrie with me, for de∣siring them to repent them of what they had committed? I confesse, I would haue euery man to be greeued for the death of Caesar. Oh, But I am enioyned by the office of a good Cit∣tizen to desire the safetie of the Com∣monwealth. That this desire is in me, if it be not knowne without my rela∣ting it, both by those things which h••eretofore I haue effected, and by those which heereafter I hope to per∣forme; I am content that in defendiug mine owne causes, words may not a∣uaile me. Therfore I earnestly entreat

you, that you will conceiue better of my reasons, ••hen I am able to vtter them: and that you will thinke, if you be of opinion, that it is a good thing to doe well, that I can hold no m••nner of commerce with bad men. Were it peraduenture fit ••or me, now, that I am laden with yeares, to goe out of that path, wherein I haue led my youth, which carryeth with it some excuse for error? shall I againe n••w mould my selfe? This error I will not commit: nor will I doe any thing that may dis∣please. Except I doe lament the vn∣happie fortune of my dearest friend, and so great a personage. And if I were of an other minde, I would neuer de∣nie it: least that, besides my being re••puted wicked in offending, I might be thought timerous, and a false dissem∣bler: T••ue it is, that I had the cha••ge, of the publike shewes, which Caesar the little youth made in honor of Caesars victorie. But this had re••pect to a par∣ticular office, not to the state of the Common-wealth. In which charge notw••thstanding, both for the memo∣riall I reserue of so great a ••riend, and for the desire I haue to honour him thus dead as he is, I could not be defi∣cient. And the you••h of such great hopes, and so worthie of Caesar, reque∣sting me ther••unto, I was constrained to accept of it. I also went many times

to the house of Antonius the Con••ull•• to salute him: to whom, you shall finde, that euen they, which este••me me little affected ••owards my countrey, resorted daily, only to craue of him, or carry a∣w••y something. But what an arro∣gancie is this? That Caesar did neuer forbid me, to conuerse with whom I thought good, and euen with persons whom he loued not; and these men that haue bere••u••d mee of my friend, by carping, or reprehending me, doe their worst to enforce me, nor to loue them that I like well of? But I know I haue hitherto liued so modestly, that heere∣after euill tongues shall be little able to defame me: and, that also they who loue me not, because I still perseuer in louing Caesar, would rather ••ish to meete with friends, like me, then like themselues. For my part, if things fall out conformable to my desire; I meane to passe so much of my life as re∣maines, quietly at Rhodes: but if it so happen that any accident disturbe me, I will remaine in Rome, and remaine there alwaies, wishing that they may doe well. I giue great thankes to our Trebatius; because he plainely de∣clared vnto me, how your minde stood towards me: which I discerne to be full, of sinceritie, and affection: and, because he was the occasion, that I hauing euer willingly loued you,

should now also be further tyed, both to honour, and respect you. Fare∣well.