Christian praiers and holie medtations as wel for priuate as publique exercise: gathered out of the most godly learned in our time, by Henrie Bull. Wherevnto are added the praiers, commonly called Lidleys praiers.

A lamentation of a sinner afflic∣ted in conscience for his offences.

IN the middes of the desperate as∣saultes of my soule, the intollera∣ble

heauinesse of my minde hath heretofore (Lorde) cryed as shril in thine eares, as though I had shri∣ked and with lamentations cryed out saying, helpe: helpe mee my God, my creatour, my most prouident ke∣per and euerlasting defender, for be∣holde I perish.

On this occasion (Lorde) when heauinesse of minde did heretofore assault me, I remembred that thou haddest many times set before mine eyes the wonderfull greatnes of thy most tender loue towardes mee, by the great multitude of thy benefites powred vppon mee, which benefites euerie of thy workes (as they came before mine eyes) gaue mee iust oc∣casion to be mindfull of.

Woulde not (thought I) if I had in a manner any grace at all, woulde not such loue bring nowe into my heart a wonderfull delectation, ioy,

and comfort in God for the same? And againe, coulde such delight in Gods sweete mercie and tender loue towardes me (if I were not as euill as a castaway that were none of Gods children) be without lothing of my sinne, and lust and desire to do Gods holy will? And these thinges thought I (fie vppon me vnthanke∣full wretch) are either not at all in mee, or else in deede so coldly and slenderly, that they beeing truely weighed and compared to righteous∣nesse, are more vile then a filthy cloth starched in corrupt bloud.

Oh (thought I) I am affraid, I haue deceiued my selfe: for thy ser∣uauntes at all times (I trowe) feele otherwise then I now doe, y^e fruites of thy spirit, as loue, ioy, peace, & such like. But my loue (alas) towards thee, what is it? my ioy is not once almost felt of mee: for my verie soule

within mee (as Dauid in his heaui∣nesse saide) refuseth comfort, and fa∣reth as though it did vtterly des∣paire: & what peace can I feele then, or certaintie of thy fauour and loue? Iustly may I powre out this dolo∣rous lamentatiō of Sion: The Lord hath forsaken mee, and my Lord hath forgotten mee.

Euen in the middest (I say) of these my former desperate assaultes, mine intollerable heauines cried to thee, O my God, and from heauen thou heardest my groaninges, and therevpon first preparedst my hearte to aske comfort of thee, & then thou diddest accept my prayer, and gauest me plentifully my asking.

Oh my soule, consider well that thou art neuer able to declare the exceeding goodnesse of God in this, that hee hearde the verie desires of thee being afflicted: who is so rea∣die

fauourably to grant the requests of the afflicted, that oftentimes hee tarrieth not vntill they do cal, but or euer they call vpon him, hee fauou∣rably heareth them, as the Psalmist saith: The desire of the afflicted thou hearest O Lorde: thou preparest their heartes, & thine eares heareth them.

Oh Lorde my God, meruellous thinges are these, whether I consider this meruellous manner of thy hea∣ring, or else the meruellous nature and propertie of thy goodnesse. Mer∣uellous (no doubt) is that thy hea∣ring, whereby the verie desires of the afflicted are hearde: but much more maruellous is this thy good∣nesse, which tarriest not vntil the af∣flicted doe desire thy helpe, but pre∣parest first their hearts to desire, and then thou giuest them their desires.

Yea Lord (worthie of all praise) it cannot otherwise bee. For howe

shouldest thou do otherwise then thy nature and propertie is? Art not thou verie goodnesse and mercie it selfe? Howe canst thou then but pi∣tie and helpe miserie?

Art not thou both the creatour and also the conseruer of all thinges? in so much as the Lyons whelpes roaring after their pray, do seeke their foode at thy handes, and the Rauens birdes lacking meat, do call vppon thee.

If then thy fatherly prouidence and tender care (O Lord) vppon all thy creatures be so great, that the ve∣rie beastes and foules haue this ex∣perience of thy goodnes in their ne∣cessities that their roarings and cry∣ings haue the strength of earnest cal∣linges and desires: howe much ra∣ther doe these sighinges, groninges, and desperate heauines of men, but chiefly of thy children, crie and call

lowde in thine eares, though they speake neuer a worde at all?

Shoulde I then nowe despaire of thy fatherly mercie, whiles present∣ly I feele thee, stirre vp my soule and hearte to craue helpe at thy hande? Should I thinke that thou wilt ab∣sent thy selfe for euer? that thou wilt be no more intreated? that thy mer∣cie is cleane gone? that thy promise is come vtterly to an ende? and that thou wilt nowe shut vp thy louing kindnesse in displeasure.

Nay Lorde, for all alterations are of thy right hande, and turne alway to the best to them that feare thee, All this is but mine owne infirmi∣tie: for thou art euer one, thy promi∣ses be infallible, and thy loue to∣wards thine, euerlastingly during. I will therefore in this my present tentation, & greuous assaulte, powre out the heauinesse of my hearte be∣fore

thee deare father. Out of the deepe will I crie, & lift vp my soule vnto thee, from whom I assuredly know my helpe is comming. I will also for my present comfort, cal to re∣membrance (O Lorde my God) thy tender mercies towards me already shewed, the multitude of thy bene∣fites, the greatnes of the same, the longe continuance of them, euen frō my conception vntill this instant, & finally thy continuall luste & desire to powre them vpon me.

And moreouer, sith thy goodnesse is so great (O Lord) that thou dost not onely pitie miserie, but also cal∣lest the heauie hearted and afflicted vnto thee, promising that thou wilt ease their miserie: for as much as by the motion of thy good spirit I loth and abhorre my sinnes, feele the gre∣uousnesse of them, and thy heauie wrath towardes me for the same, and

finally, what neede I haue of thy gratious ayde and succour: therefore (Oh Lorde) in thy Sonne Christes name, with sure confidence and trust in thine infallible promise, in this mine anguish & trouble I come vn∣to thee at thy mercifull calling, and craue comfort at thy hand. For thou hast promised, that when I loath my sinnes, thou wilt vterly forget them: when I feele the greeuous burthen of them, thy mercie swalloweth them vp: when I seeke that I want, thou wilte assuredly graunt it me, For sith thou mouest my hearte to desire helpe, how shoulde I mistrust, but thou wilt for thy truth sake, giue me my asking?

Yea, where I knowe not howe, or what to desire as I ought, thy holy spirite gratiously working in mee, maketh intercession mightily for me with groninges which can not bee

expressed, and therewithall certifieth my spirit, that by adoption through thy great mercie and goodnesse I am become thy childe and heire.

Why should I not then be of good comfort and ioyfull in thee my God? For if thou be on my side, who can be against mee? Since thou diddest not spare thine owne sonne, but ga∣uest him for mee, euen when I was thine enemie: howe shalt thou not with him, nowe that by his death I am brought into thy fauour, giue mee all thinges with him, and for his sake? Who shall lay any thing to the charg of thine elect? It is thou Lord which iustifiest mee. It is Christe that hath dyed for mee, yea rather that is risen againe for mee, who also is set on thy right hand, & hath taken possession, yea, and perpetual∣ly maketh there intercession for me, vntill that ioyfull day be come, when

I shall haue full fruition of the moste glorious presence of thy diuine maiestie, in that kingdome whiche thou hast prepared be∣fore the beginning of the world, but in time (to thy gratious goodnesse thought best) made knowen to me, by giuing thy holy spirite into my heart: whereby, when I first (Lord) beleeued thy holy worde (which is thine owne power to saue all that beleeue) I was sealed, confirmed, and stablished in the certaintie of y^t thine euerlasting kingdom and inheritāce.

For the which inestimable bene∣fite of thy rich grace (Oh Lorde my God) I beseech thee, euen for the loue thou bearest to Christe Iesus thy son, & thy mercie thou haddest on him when he cried on the crosse: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Help, help, I say & inflame my heart with loue so plentifully towardes

thee againe, that I may be euen swa∣lowed vp in the ioyfull feeling of the same, in such sort that I may of verie thankefulnesse loue thee my GOD alone, thee I say my deare GOD, and nothing but thee, and for thy sake. O holy spirite whose work this is in mee, increase this thy worke of thine infinite mercie, and preserue mee that I neuer become vnthankefull vnto thee therefore, A∣men.

Notes

• Esai. 64.
• Psal. 77.
• Esai. 49.
• Psal. 10.
• ••sal. 104. ••sal. 147.
• Psal. 77.
• Psal. 77.
• Matth. 11
• Rom. 8.
• Rom. 8.
• Ephe. 1.
• Rom. 8.
• Matt. 27.