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I Thought I had got out o'th' Iayle: but I found one worser than that which I left. For having changed a Lesser world for a Greater, I found my miseries so much more numerous, as the place I came to was larger than the former. In the very be∣ginning I shewed my selfe to my friends unthankfull; yet must they hold mee excused; for those salutes were natu∣rall. They entertained mee with smiles, and I gratified them with teares.
Lachrymae were the onely
musicall aires that usher'd mee to this vale of woes. My very first voyce implyed a prophecie: my teares fore∣runners of my following miserie. I came into the world naked; whereas all o∣ther creatures come cloathed and armed. With what joy was I received, while those that saw mee, cried,
How like is hee to his Father?And they said well, if they poin∣ted at Adam, for his bloud made me his sonne, and like himselfe a sinner.
What a foolish part it was (had I well considered it) to see wise men rejoycing at the sight of one who was entring the Tyring-house of mourning! The Thracians, though Pagans, shewed
themselves in this more Christians. These lamented their Babes birth, but rejoy∣ced at their death. What great delight could any take in mee, when I came so bare into the world, as I brought not with mee one poore ragge to shroud my shame: and all the regreets I returned them, teares and shrikes? These deserved no great entertainment of joy. To see such a feeble thing, as could afford it selfe no suc∣cour. An Infant Pilgrim, who could not find a tongue to beg him harbour! One, who wanted all things, yet could not tell it's owne ••ants. This might rather move compassion than joy. And such a poore one was I.
Nothing did I see that could please mee. Still were my late-unsealed eyes flowing, my seeble voyce shriking; nought but notes of miserie everie where resounding. And deserved these such pleasing entertainment? By my birth, I got nothing to my selfe, but teares; to my friends, nothing but cares and feares. To feed mee was their care; lest I should be better fed than taught was their feare. Sleepe, Food, and Shrikes, all which begot my parents trouble, were the best things I rendred them; and the whole expence of those houres, which I bestowed on them. Silly infancie! when that pleaseth the Pa∣rent best, and batteneth the
Infant most, which profiteth the world least, Sleepe. Small cause had my Parents to have joyed in my birth, had they considered how my entrie led mee into a maze of miserie, a vale of vanitie. How that small portion of flesh, which I brought along with mee, would in time prove my profest enemie. My first teares told the world that I had something in mee, which annoyed mee. My originall guilt struck teares into mine eyes, feares into my heart. Naked came I, as one stript of his coat. And this nakednesse came by the losse of my garment of innocence. My Grandfire never found himselfe naked, till hee had transgressed.
Then, and never till then, flew hee to the bushes. But what avail'd it him to flye from his sight, whose eyes were in everie place? Small doubt but I would have ta∣ken the same course, could I either have considered my guilt, or found feet to hasten mine escape. But I found an ignorance in the one; and a weaknesse in the other. Thus was I borne in sinne, before I could beare up my selfe. Yet for all this did my Pa∣rents account of mee as a rich prize. Dandled must I bee till I sleepe; wrapt in warme cloaths; carefully nursed; tenderly used: and if my too deare Parents got but one poore smile from their Babe, they held their
care and cost highly recom∣penced. Thus begun I my life in teares, and continued it with feares, hopes, and griefes. Which made mee many times with heartie sighs in the privie chamber of mine heart, to conclude: Better was the day of ones death, than the day of his birth. And that the best thing that could bee unto man, was not to be borne at all: and the next, to dye soone. For what brought I into the world with mee, but pulleyes which haled mee along to miserie? And what bestowed the world on mee, when shee had received mee, but clouts and bands. The one to proclaime my povertie, the other my capti∣vitie.
So as, all the en∣tertainement I had from this goodly Store-house of worldly happinesse, was want, and restraint.
Thus scarce able to creep, (yet distinguished by reason from all other creeping things) I at last got crawled from the state of infancie to childhood. Where, as I increa∣sed in yeares (though insen∣sible, and therein more mi∣serable) I increased still in the measure of my wants and woes.