Ar't asleepe husband? A boulster lecture; stored with all variety of witty jeasts, merry tales, and other pleasant passages; extracted, from the choicest flowers of philosophy, poesy, antient and moderne history. Illustrated with examples of incomparable constancy, in the excellent history of Philocles and Doriclea. By Philogenes Panedonius.

DISDAINE.

THe severall pass••ges through-out this entire Section, are partly extracted from Ariosto, Tas∣so, Boc••act, Rheginus, A••••aeus, &c. And intend••d by them to cast a glowing shame upon those times wherein they lived: and on those persons at whom they aymed. Meaning by these lighter

Stories to reprove their lightnesse; and not to introduce any corruption of manners. This it was that reduced those Epyrotes and Laconians to such strict civill Order, by presenting those Ob∣screnities of the time in so free a posture, as by a discreet recollection of themselves, they became ashamed of their Errour: which Retractation in few yeares highly conduced to thier honour. And this it was which the Poet so nearely struck upon in these enlivened ayres:

It is our best of Art, sometimes to write Light lines to tax such persons as bee light, And with a glowing and vermilion shame To make them be more cautious of their fame: Which once impeach'd can hardly be re∣gain'd, So deepe a dye holds reputation stain'd.

DISDAINE is an humour bred from an over-weening opinion or selfe-conceit of some extraor∣dinary worth,* 1.1 arising from per∣son, place, or power. Personall, as from outward gifts, or inward graces; Locall, as from office or dignity; Magisteriall, as from power or authority. Of the First are we onely to discourse; for Officiall or Ma∣gisteriall Government suites not properly with our feminine regiment.

It was an excellent argument of a noble

disposition in that brave Lady Marcelles, who gave this attestation of her Sex and Countrey, to her owne fame and Nationall glory.

It is not the property of an Italian Lady, to answer Love with scorne, or fan∣cy with Disdaine. If our Servants oblati∣on be love, we can sacrifice to them the like.

This Lady, though admired for her beauty, scorn'd with Disdaine to entertaine fancy; or to glory in the distresse of a dis∣passionate Lover: or to relate amongst creatures of her owne Sex what disgraces she had put on her discarded Servant. In which Triumph both former and present times have been sufficiently practised. Our renounedst Heroës have found store of such coy Mistresses. Fulvia knew how to domi∣neere over her Pompey; Cleopatra, in the in∣fancy of their love, over her M. Antony; Cressida over her Troylus; Hellena, (to the subversion of a populous State) over her Menelaus; Phedra over her Theseus; Om∣phale over her Alcides. These knew the strength of their beauty; and what power there was in one amorous glance to inchain Fancy. These were so farre from avoyding occasion to tempt, as their onely exercise was to catch wandring eyes; and to lay baits by adulterate beauties, how they might surprize an effeminate Servant, and make his life a perpetuall servitude. Al∣though,

they encounter'd with some, from whom they received a repulse with shame. For even that princely Cleopatra, who had all the Art to procure love: and whose pre∣sence retained that winning Majesty, as State contended with Beauty, and closing together, promised no lesse than over the vi∣ctoriou'st Monarch a commanding Sove∣raignty: when she, I say, after the discom∣fiture of her Antony, and her then approa∣ching period to her former glory, kneeled at the feet of Caesar, laying baits for his eyes; but in vaine; her beauties were beneath that Princes chastity. Others we might here instance; who were so farre from Dis∣daine; as rather than they would be an occa∣sion to tempt another by meanes of beauty, they chused to disfigure themselves to re∣move all motives to Fancy. And of this Moderation, (or if you please to bestow on it so gracefull a Title as Mortification) we might here produce examples, and those memorable in both Sexes. Incredible is the Story which Valerius Maximus reporteth of that young man Sputimia, whose beauty did so incomparably become him, as it oc∣casioned many women to lust after him: which this noble youth no sooner percei∣ved, than he wounded his face, that by the Scar he sustained, his beauty might become more blemished, and consequently, all oc∣casion

of lusting after it, clearely removed.

The like resolution shewed many noble Ladies, during those raging persecutions, where neither viduall, conjugall, nor virgin estate, were they never so much strength∣ned with modesty, nor magnanimity, could oppose themselves against Souldiers fury, nor Tyrants insolency. Where, woe shall finde some flying, in defence of their ho∣nour, to desert and remote caves; chusing rather to become a prey to wilde beasts, than to expose their unblemished honour to the Barbarous cruelty of savage Miscre∣ants. These found a hand ever ready to strike, to prevent a staine: preferring an honourable death before an ignominious life. This might be instanced, with much admiration, in that one act of the incompa∣rable Chiomara, a constant Consort to an unfortunate Prince; who upon discomfi∣ture of the Gallo-Graecians (a Province so styled from her mixt inhabitants) being ravished by a Roman Captaine, gave a me∣morable example of conjugall vertue; for she cut off the fellows head from his shoul∣ders, and escaping from her Guard, brought it to her Lord and Husband.

Others we shall likewise finde, purpose∣ly to preserve their honour, discolouring their faces, to make them seeme more defor∣med to the insolent Souldier. There was

nothing more hatefull to them than that beauty, which might probably ingage their persons to an act of infamy. To these I might adde that excellent saying of a reli∣gious Votaresse, who understanding one to be much inamoured of her, call'd him aside and told him:

Sir, I honour you so much, as I have chosen rather to suffer, than by my beauty to make you a priso∣ner: Wherewith discovering her face, in complexion much altered, by some co∣lours which she had caused to be laid up∣on it: hee vowed to relinquish his suit, imagining that shee had poysoned her face, to waine him from his affection. This he had no sooner said, then shee ran to a spring neare adjoyning to wash it off: See, said shee, I am the same I was; but you are much better: for now you are brought to see your errour, in being so much taken with a skin-deepe beauty, which onely consists in dye and colour.

But, howsoever that memorable Mar∣celles, of whom wee formerly made so ho∣nourable a mention, seemed in defence both of her selfe and Sex, to inveigh against Dis∣dain; holding it the most unwomanly qua∣lity that could be, to have an heart steeled against the perswasions of an affectionate Servant: Ariosto, that ingenious Poet, can informe us sufficiently of many hard-hear∣ted

Ladies in Italy; who prided themselves in nothing more, than to make their unhap∣py Lovers, Tragick Subjects: while Some of them raved with Orestes, transforming Fancy to a phrensy; and amongst many other, whose heavy Fates brought them to unhappy ends; he brings in three distressed Lovers murdered with Disdaine: The first, as well as the rest, under a borrowed name, he calls Infeliche: who to discover his in∣felicity, and make his name and fate pertake in one qua••ity, is presented weeping, and so long till he ha's left no eyes to shed a teare. The next, is his Inamorato, whose Disdain∣full choice brought him to that disaster, as hee vowed with an intentive fixing of his eyes upon the Sun-beames, day by day, ne∣ver to looke off that Object, till the reflex of the Sunne had consum'd his sight. The third, his Desperato; one who scorn'd to protract time, or make truce with Death: for upon his Ladies scornefull answer, as one Despairing of all future fortune, be∣cause estranged from her favour; he leapes headlong from a Rock; which gave a period to his unhappy love.

Disdain then, it seems, hath soveraigniz'd in every countrey: while poore distressed Lovers, rest of all hope, abandoned health, rather than live a languishing life. So as, being so farre imbarked in this subject, I

must needs in this place acquaint you with a Letter, writ, it may well seeme, by a per∣plexed home-spun Lover; who impatient to admit any other complement in his lines, than what might to life best depaint his sor∣row, proceedeth thus:

DEarest Duckling, be it knowne to you, and to all People, that I have pissed bloud three dayes and three nights since I last saw you, and received that unwomanly relentlesse an∣swer from you: so as your harsh and untoward quality was the onely cause (blinke-eyed Cu∣pid forgive you) of this my misery and ma∣lady. Let it now suffice you, that I am utterly undone by you: while I live to subscribe (and loath am I to live such a Scribe)

Your most unfortunate Servant.

No lesse ruefull was the case of that piti∣fully-complaining Lover, who discovered his Judaicall passion in this manner:

I lov'd a Wench, and she a coy Precisian, Her scorne of love brought me to Cir∣cumcision; If Circumcision be the way to woo, I would my Wench had my Praeputi∣um too. But since my Choyce makes mee an haplesse man, England adieu, I'm now for Amster∣dam:

Where I may finde what here I cannot move, Affection in a Family of Love.

Though afterwards repenting himselfe of such a rash resolution, he salves it with this conclusion:

Yet my Coy-duck, take my resolve with you; " Losse of no Jewell can make me turne Jew: But if you'l have a Circumcised one, " My fore-skin onely shall bee yours or none. The Lowest, but not unloyall'st of your Servants.

Farre lesse hot in his Love, but more dis∣creet in his Choyce, appeared that Seignior; who having pretended love to a Shrow, though shee seemed a Sheepe, fell so highly in her books, as in the end she became a So∣liciter to her Suiter, importuning him much to marry her; to whom in a poeticall straine hee returned this answer, covertly shadowed under the person of another:

My Wench o're me presuming to have power, Will'd me goe with her hand in hand to th' Tower. For what, said I? To cloze our mar∣riage rite; No, to see th'Lions, 'twere a better sight:

For th' Lion, Tigre, Leopard, Panther, Beare, Are all meeke Creatures to my Mi∣nivere.

Closing the aversion of his love with this resolve:

I'd rather cope with Lions in a Grate, Than in a Bed with my imperious Kate.

One more I will onely here insert, and so descend to the next subject: w^ch I have occa∣sionally heard related of a wanton widdow, who scornefully and in a jeering way, dis∣closed that Disdaine which shee lodged in her heart. An ancient Batchler, who had been ignorant before, what the working of Love was, or what effects it produc'd; ha∣ving had formerly good accesse to her house in her husbands time; which promised him, as he thought, no lesse successe now after his death: made one day suite to this widdow; she, neither gave him great hope, nor any just cause to despaire. And thus his cold suite continued, till she falling aboord with a more amiable and affectionate Suiter; one, whose rising-youth both seconded her ex∣pectance, and promised more performance: One day, amongst the rest, upon more fa∣miliarity betwixt them, shee began to ac∣quaint him how such a Batchlers-button had her in chace, and if his arguments did not disswade her, for ought shee knew, shee

meant to make him her Choice. This shee never intended, for her affection begunne now to be free towards this active youth; and to scorne nothing more, than a doublet with a Monsieurs Belly; a payre of Trunk∣hose; an inclining hamme, and a mouted beard; for so was this old Batchler accom∣modated. Notwithstanding all this, her young choice feared much to suffer a de∣feat; which to prevent, so soone as he came to his chamber, rapt with a poetick fury, or amorous fancy, he addresseth these Lines unto her:

DORICLES to DULCINA.

Deare, where is thy discretion to ingage Thy matchlesse beauty to decrepit age? Dew-dropping Violets hang downe their head, When their prime Leaves are too much moistened; But thy pure-featur'd Orbe shall never finde Any such pearled moisture in a Rinde. Beleeve me, Sweet, no colour may beseem Thy Virgin-veile worse than a Frost on greene.

This Letter sent and delivered to her hand, who had already devoted her heart; the selfe-same day she chanc't to leave it up∣on the drawing-cupboord, while she went

into her Orchard to take a walke: Her o∣ver-worne wooer, as one impatient of lon∣ger delay, came, as it happened, that same time into her chamber, as he was formerly accustomed to doe; where finding this Let∣ter open, and directed with an amorous in∣scription, he dispenced so farre with civili∣ty, and her patience, now in her absence, as to peruse the contents: which did not a lit∣tle nettle him: howbeit, to shroud all things with as much secrecy as he could, he held it discretion; and to discover no passion, till he saw further occasion. While he stood thus conversing with his owne thoughts: The Mistresse of his thoughts came in, never so much as suspecting the discovery of her friends Letter. After some conference be∣twixt them, he renewes his suite, and with the best Rhetorick that the Termes of Law could afford, he enforceth his love-plea; but his long impertinent preamble was soone cut short with this tart answer:

Sir, quoth shee, for you to spin Penelopes web, is to no purpose: it were well you fixt your affection some other way; for I must freely tell you, I have vow'd that no Gray-horse shall ever stand more in my stable.

To which unexpected answer, he return'd this resolute reply:

And I vow, faire Mistresse, that I preferre this conceit before your selfe.

Which said,

without more sollicitancy of love, he tooke his leave. But comming home, and remem∣bring the Letter, which hee verily thought was the argument which gave life to her an∣swer; hee held it fit, under an unknowne name, to returne that young Gamester a reply; which, after many invocations of his Melpomene, the fittingst consort for loves melancholy, hee addressed in this modest manner:

SENE••IO'S Answer.

Thou that of youth doest vainely boast, Know, Buds are soonest nipt with frost: Though thou be fresh, more faire than I; Yet stumps doe live, when flowers dye.

Though thou be young, and I be old, Though thy veines hot, and my blood cold, Though youth be moist, and age be dry; Yet Embers live, when flames doe dye.

The tender Plant is eas'ly broke, But who can shake the sturdy Oake? Thinke thou thy fortune still doth cry, O foole, to morrow, thou mayst dye.

But having thus farre discovered the ef∣fects of Disdaine; and displayed the dan∣ger of this Humour with variety of in∣stances,

to afford more solace to the Reader, I purpose now to descend, in the same me∣thodicall way, to the rest of the Subjects, as they shall arise in order.

Notes

• * 1.1

  OPPOSITE 1.