There was a Curtizan of Rome, who caus'd another woman, because shee had beene some-what too lauish of her tongue, to bee slasht ouer the face, cutting her athwart the nose, from one cheeke to the other, the cut running equally on either side of her face. And vvhile the Surgeon was a dressing of her, after that hee had giuen her some sixteene or seuenteene stitches, she weeping said; O what an vnfortunate woman am I! Gentle∣men, let me intreat you for Gods sake, that my Husband may not know of this. A waggish fellow, that stood there by, told her, If this slash had beene vpon your buttocks, as it is vpon your face, it might haply haue been hidden from him; but seeing there is no Vayle to couer it; why doe you inioyne vs to keepe it secret?
In like sort, it seemed simplicitie, and meere foolery in mee, to vse such a deale of nicety in the businesse. And the rather, for that this mis∣chance was publike. And because, (by reason of the generall knowledge thereof) it could not bee conceiled, I thought it the best vvay for mee, to get the Game by the hand, and to speake of it first my selfe, telling as many of it, as I should meet withall, making a iest of it, and recounting the vvhole Story thereof vnto them, before they should receiue it from some other hand, and so at last come to know what a badde and long voy∣age I had made. Which if they should haue done, it had beene better for mee, that I had beene out of this miserable world.
Let him indure the title of a badde name, that desires to haue it dye quickly. For, with the more violence wee seeke to shake it off, so much the closer it cleaueth vnto vs. Insomuch, that it continueth many times to the fifth generation; and then those, which succeed them, doe glory and boast themselues thereof, and blazon that for their Armes, which their An∣cestors held for an affront. The like hath befalne this my poore booke, which I hauing intituled with the name of Atalaya de la vida humana; The Watch-Tower of mans life, they haue put the nick-name of Picaro there∣vpon, and now it is knowne by no other name.
I was much perplexed, and as yet vnresolued what I were best to doe. And for that I thought with my selfe, that in our miseries, there is no other Sanctuary on earth to flye vnto, but those that are our friends; though I must confesse I had but a few, and amongst those neuer a true one, I held it not a∣misse, to haue recourse to some one of my Companions, that had profest much loue vnto me, and had made me the fairest showes of friendship.
This being now concluded on, I got me to his lodging, and knockt at his doore, which he presently opened vnto me: where I did remaine, while the locke was ript off from mine. You may conceiue with your selfe in what a wofull case I was, that I durst not sit downe vpon a trunke that was there in the roome, for feare of leauing therein the print of this my errour. This vn∣happy Accident could not be kept so secret, but that it must needs be knowne. And it is a miserie, that followes great mens houses, that there is not a ser∣uant therein, that doth not striue and labour all that he can, to flatter and soothe vp his Lord and Master, although it be with merry iests, and fained tales, when as there is no such matter. For they deale with him, as those that play booty, seeking to serue one anothers turne, vsing all their art and skill to coozen and deceiue him: Whereby euery Master knowes, how and to what end his seruants loue him, and with what affection they serue him. And hee is a kinde of vnfortunate man, and in a miserable and wretched taking, if he thinke to winne them by rigour, and to worke them to loue him for feare. For few or none haue euer beene able to bring this to passe. For the heart of man, is a noble thing, and must be wonne with gentle vsage; it must not be roughly dealt withall, but stroaked with a smooth and soft hand.
I had scarce shifted my cloathes, and washt my selfe cleane, but that my